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Private A Step Too Far [M]

Discussion in 'Misty Hollow' started by Beth Greene, Nov 6, 2017.

  1. Beth Greene

    Beth Greene The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    322
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Survivor
    Location:
    405 Autumn Blvd, Misty Hollow
    Race:
    Human
    Directory:
    link

    Year 7
    6th November, Autumn
    Tag; @Daryl Dixon

    [​IMG]
    This wasn't Beth. She didn't do this; she was the good girl. Daddy had made sure he'd stayed off the booze and given them the best chance in life. His girls wouldn't follow in his footsteps and use it to self medicate. Not one of his girls. Beth felt the guilt pinch every corner as she stepped inside the bar, her feet sore from walkin' so long and her heart tired of the pain. She just wanted to be numb. She just wanted it to stop. Just for a moment. To just... Forget. Even now she could hear Daddy's voice, Maggie's warnings ringin' in her ears, and yet still she sat down, hands clasped around herself as she ordered a drink at the bar.

    Beth could tell she didn't fit in here. The lights were low but the music was loud, with large, tattooed men surrounded by women who looked Beth up and down and sniggered at the way she dressed, or maybe the way she sat. Beth didn't care. She didn't really care about anythin' at the moment. She looked into her glass and downed it in one. Disgusting. But it would do the trick. Again. Another one. And then another one. Before she knew it she was seein' double and slid off her bar stool, graspin' the bar as she eyed a rowdy group to her left. A quick readjustment of her eyes told her they playing pool. She'd played maybe once in her life but tonight Beth felt lucky.

    She stumbled over, talkin' to them with a confidence that was normally nowhere in sight. Where had this come from? What was she doin'? Even now Beth could see herself through the drunken haze, blonde hair fallin' out of her ponytail and stickin' to her face. It was like an out of body experience. One guy seemed to take a particular interest in her, and Beth flirted with the idea. Why not? She'd lost all her inhibitions tonight and needed the comfort. Her blue eyes were unfocused as she looked up at him. Oh no. Her drink. It was comin' back up.

    With a speed that surprised herself, Beth stumbled outside and threw up as soon as the air hit her face. She leant against a nearby tree, breathin' heavily. Stop, Beth. Stop. Go home. She scrunched up her eyes, her head beginnin' to pound. Ugh. A hand suddenly curled its way around her waist and Beth jumped at the touch. It was the guy from the bar, and he didn't look disappointed by the pile of vomit beside her. If anythin' he looked even more excited now that they were alone. No. No, she didn't want to do this. She'd changed her mind.

    "Please," Beth slurred as the guy's face leant into hers. She turned away, pressin' against his chest. "Nur- I don't- back off!" His hands weren't stoppin' and his breath stunk of beer. Hadn't he heard what she'd just said? She didn't want to do this. Beth pushed as hard she could but he didn't seem to hear. Instead he grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. "Get off me!" She shouted, with much more force this time.

    "Stupid bitch," the man growled and raised a hand, about to strike.
     
    #1 Beth Greene, Nov 6, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2017
    Daryl Dixon likes this.
  2. Daryl Dixon

    Daryl Dixon The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    546
    Gender:
    male
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    46
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Good
    Things had been.... rough ever since Glenn had died. Hell, things had been rocky ever since Rick had died, since Carl had disappeared, since Maggie, ‘n Oliver. It hadn’t been pretty, right after Glenn had died – Daryl’d done stuff he wasn’t too proud of, but he was slowly getting himself back together. He’d been out traipsin’ through the woods, not doin’ any huntin’, just wanderin’ and had stopped out near Jesus’ on the way back but neither he nor Aaron were home. Instead of heading back toward his own house though, he decided to take the long way back, lighting up a cigarette as he went.

    It was starting to get a little chilly, specially toward evening and in deference to the temperature Daryl’d put on a flannel beneath his vest. It helped, a little, but he was still fuckin’ cold. Sometimes he needed it though, the discomfort. Took his mind off other things it shouldn’t be lingering on. There was a bar up ahead, one that Daryl’d never really gone to. The whole social drinkin’ thing wasn’t his style and there wasn’t no point sittin’ in a bar with a crush of other people tryin’ to down a whiskey in silence when he could be at home with an entire bottle, his cigarettes and his crossbow t’clean.

    But he’d stopped by, once or twice, when there wasn’t no alcohol in the house, enough to know where it was. He didn’t plan on stoppin’ tonight – he wasn’t feeling very social (if he ever did) and the itch at the back of his mind that had driven him toward his long walk had started to quiet. He mighta just walked on by, not payin’ much attention – wasn’t his business what people did outside – but then his brain snagged on what he’d seen.

    And that voice was awfully familiar.

    A wave of rage rocked through him, so hard he was sure he was seein’ red.

    It took less than a second from that point for him to clock what was going on, and even less time than that for him to make it over, snagging a hand on the back of the asshole’s shirt and wrenching, and he wasn’t sure if it was cos he got the guy by surprise or if he was just that angry, but the man hit the ground with a grunt almost two feet away. “Y’leave her the hell alone!” Daryl growled, “piece ‘a shit,” he growled, aiming a kick at undefended ribs before the prick scrambled up and hoofed it. He was glad he didn’t have his crossbow on ‘im.

    After that he turned his attention to Beth, looking riled up, his anger shifting a bit when he noticed she was absolutely shitfaced.

    “He do anythin’ to ya?” Daryl asked, voice like gravel, expression clearly saying that if the answer was yes he’d be tracking that prick down. ​
     
    Beth Greene likes this.
  3. Beth Greene

    Beth Greene The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    322
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Survivor
    Location:
    405 Autumn Blvd, Misty Hollow
    Race:
    Human
    Directory:
    link

    [​IMG]
    Beth faced the man head on, her face defiant as he raised one hand to strike and the other to hold her in place. She knew it was gonna hurt; hell, she'd probably get knocked out and he'd be able to do as he pleased. But Beth wasn't goin' to be intimated by this low life. That's what just this guy was expecting -- a defenceless girl he could use and overpower. He'd probably thrive off it the sick bastard. Maybe it was the alcohol givin' her a must needed boost of bravery. Or stupidity. One of the two. Either way, Beth wasn't about to go down without a fight.

    The guy's grip loosened so suddenly, Beth stumbled back against the tree and watched him go, momentarily confused. Her brain felt sluggish, as though the world was movin' a second slower than it should've been. That's when she saw him. Daryl; red-faced and snarling, he threw the man back with such force that he skidded across the floor and landed a few feet away. She held her face in her hands, the reality of the situation beginning to hit. Her body began to shake. What was he doin' here? Beth hadn't seen him properly in weeks, and now here he was outta the clear blue sky. Or well, the night. Whenever the hell it was. The point was that he hadn't been around when she'd needed him.

    It didn't matter that he'd just saved her life, it didn't matter that she'd be dead ten times over if it wasn't for him. She was far too drunk, far too emotional and far too broken to think straight. They'd lost almost everyone, had to bury their loved ones and say goodbye, and just like Daryl, he'd run away from the pain. Retreated back into himself and left... Left her. It wasn't like Beth to be so selfish, to be so self-involved that all she saw was her own pain. But right now, that's all she felt.

    Daryl gave the guy a swift kick in the ribs and Beth winced as though it was her. They watched the guy disappear into the mist and Beth blinked when she realised Daryl was now addressing her. It took a long time for the words to arrive, as though they were trying to swim through the river of alcohol she'd just consumed. A part of her wanted to give him a giant hug and thank him, make sure he was okay and see if there was anythin' she could do. He must've been in so much pain recently, dealing with so much grief. But wait a minute, so was she, and he hadn't bothered once.

    Beth opened her mouth to speak, about to give him that smile and thank him but instead all that came out was a drunken slur.

    "What d'ya care?" She mumbled uncharacteristically, pushin' herself off the tree and trying to stand still. The world began to move beneath her as she glared at the two Daryl's. Damn it. It was no good, she still couldn't see straight. With as much dignity as she could master, Beth averted her gaze and attempted to walk straight past him.
     
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  4. Daryl Dixon

    Daryl Dixon The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    546
    Gender:
    male
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    46
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Good
    Things mighta been shitty lately, and he might not have been round when he shoulda been, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about Beth or nothin’. He’d always been bad at comfortin’ people, didn’t know how t’do it without makin’ it worse or sayin’ somethin’ stupid, and he’d been so caught up in all the shit rollin’ round his head he hadn’t stopped t’think that maybe somebody else needed comfortin’ too. And shit, maybe a part of him was terrified he’d come back one day and the house would be empty and Beth would be just one more name added t’the list of people that Pandora had taken in one way or another.

    At the moment that didn’t do shit – he was just glad the guy had taken off so he didn’t have the opportunity t’keep kickin’ – Pandora had things like laws ‘n all that and he didn’t wanna end up tossed in some cell or soemthin’. He stared at Beth, waitin’ on a reply, an explanation for how she’d ended up in this part of Misty Hollow in this sorta place this late at night. He’d been faced with Beth in an obstinate sorta way before – back when they’d gone to that damn golf club ‘n all Beth had wanted was fuckin’ peach schnapps. He could see echoes of that here, only he hadn’t been round to tell her not t’do it.

    Or at least give her some shine in some place she couldn’t get into no trouble like this.

    He felt like an asshole, but there were other things that took precedence over that, such as the fact that Beth seemed t’be mad at him or somethin’.

    Daryl was taken aback by her words for half a second, before that turned into annoyance and he reached out to snag her arm before she could stomp away. Not that it was that damn hard, she was drunk off her damn ass. “The hell you mean what’d I care?” he asked incredulously, voice raised toward a slightly strangled holler. Probably wasn’t the best idea, gettin’ so mad at her when she was obvioiusly dealin’ with some shit, but Daryl couldn’t exactly control it and he sure as hell couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that Beth thought he’d watch all that go down and not give a shit.

    “The hell’s the matter with you, huh?” he asked, his hold gentle despite the harshness of his words. ​
     
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  5. Beth Greene

    Beth Greene The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    322
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Survivor
    Location:
    405 Autumn Blvd, Misty Hollow
    Race:
    Human
    Directory:
    link

    [​IMG]
    Daryl caught Beth's arm with ease, avoidin' a situation where she'd end up flat on her face. Unfortunately, Beth was in no mood to be helped. She didn't want it -- where had he been this past month? Had he even glanced her way? More than likely, and Beth knew deep down that he would've done somethin'. He'd have wanted to help if he'd known how much pain she was in. The guilt she felt. But surely he'd noticed? Observation was one of Daryl's strengths and they were livin' under the same roof after all. Then again, she'd been no more honest with him than he'd been with her. Daryl was guarded, and rarely opened up to anyone. She knew all this and more.

    But the grief Beth had been pushin' down these past few weeks had reared it's ugly head and now there was no stoppin' her as she flung her arm outta his grasp, causing herself to stumble but quickly regaining her balance.

    "Me?" Beth repeated scathingly. "Why would there be anythin' wrong with me? It's never about me. It's always about you." She wasn't makin' a huge amount of sense, but her eyes were blazing as she stared him down. Was he callin' her out on her behaviour? "You can go out and drown your sorrows," she went on, waving a blase hand in the air. "Why can't I?" She wavered on the spot again, his face slowly coming back into focus.

    She was thinking more clearly now. Not much, but a little. There was no longer two Daryl's standing in front of her, but one and he wasn't happy. But guess what; neither was she. Everyone dealt with grief in their own way, and after so much loss, Beth felt for sure she'd seen them all. She could hardly blame Daryl for how he chose to repair himself, and if that meant goin' out on some kind of rampage then so be it. She'd heard briefly about Daryl's downward spiral since Glenn's death, and though she'd tried to find the strength, her own heart was far too broken to cope. She needed help this time.

    But he hadn't noticed.

    His harshness cut through her like a knife, but she ignored it, moving closer so she was almost up in his face. "Why don't you just go back to whatever you were doin' and leave me alone."
     
    #5 Beth Greene, Dec 10, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2017
  6. Daryl Dixon

    Daryl Dixon The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    546
    Gender:
    male
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    46
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Good

    Daryl’s brow furrowed, expression thunderous and yet still somehow confused, like he wasn’t sure what the fuck Beth was goin’ on about but was offended by it anyway. He could just put it down as her bein’ drunk and shoutin’ nonsense, but he knew it wasn’t that, somethin’ harsh settlin’ in his stomach as she kept goin’. He’d gone to shit after Rick, ‘n Glenn. He’d been so angry and anger wasn’t somethin’ that mixed well with Dixon blood (or hell, maybe it mixed too well). There wasn’t room for nothin’ else but the rage inside him, the grief swallowin’ him whole and yeah he mighta walked past Beth a dozen times a day but he wasn’t really seein’ nothin’.

    She jerked outta his grip and while the urge to step forward and make sure she didn’t fall was there, he repressed it, watchin’ her stumble instead (though if she’d been about to fall, he woulda caught her. He woulda).

    “Y’wanna drown yer damn sorrows, go buy a bottle of hooch from the store and do it in yer damn room, not this shithole!” he barked back at her, too angry to be rational, and maybe a bit of it was still the adrenaline of wantin’ to kick that fucker’s teeth through the back of his head that was keepin’ him amped up, keepin’ him from acknowledgin’ what this was really about, from takin’ a step back and givin’ her some goddamn sympathy.

    He stared down at her. Could feel the anger in the air as she shouted in his face.

    “Cos yer fuckin’ drunk off yer ass!” Daryl growled. He wasn’t about to let her go back into that bar and get caught up by another asshole. “I ain’t leavin’ ya here like that,” he said, and there was anger in his tone, cos she’d gotten him all riled up, but he wouldn’t – he’d never leave Beth in a place she could get hurt, not if he was here and could do somethin’ about it. Course, at the moment what the both of ‘em needed was cooler heads, a step back, but Beth was up in his face and Daryl’d never reacted well to confrontation, especially when it seemed t’come outta nowhere like this.

    Course....wouldn’t have been such a surprise if he’d taken his head from his ass and realized that Beth was hurtin’ just as bad as he was. Hell, more, she’d lost her sister, her nephew. They were his family, sure, but they weren’t blood. ​
     
    Beth Greene likes this.
  7. Beth Greene

    Beth Greene The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    322
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Survivor
    Location:
    405 Autumn Blvd, Misty Hollow
    Race:
    Human
    Directory:
    link

    [​IMG]
    The wounded look on Daryl's face made the rationality in Beth perk up and for the briefest of moments she could see herself -- a messy, drunken disappointment who'd just hurt one of the last few people she had left. Daddy would be ashamed. Beth had experienced loss before, but to say goodbye to so many in such a short space of time... Even when she and Daryl had gotten separated from the rest of the group, she'd had hope. She'd always known there was a chance they could be alive. But to see their dead body, or watch them disappear before her very eyes...

    "Like you, you mean?!" Beth shot back him, too caught up in the moment to think straight. She was rarely this angry, but tonight there was a fire in her (and a dangerous amount of alcohol) that refused to burn out, and Beth ignited that flame, watchin' Daryl get angrier and angrier by the second. "Hide away, close myself off! Never let anyone in!" She shook her head in defiance, her blonde hair wild. She brushed it aside, ignorin' the pairs of eyes that had begun to look their way. She could hear murmurs at the entrance, onlookers leavin' to go home and whispering under their breath. Beth didn't think she could care less if she tried.

    "You my chaperone now?!" She went on, echoing Daryl's old words back at him. Without the gruff accent it didn't quite work, but the intention was there. "I can take care of myself!" They were up in each other's faces now, Daryl starin' down at her while Beth's eyes glazed with angry tears. She thought her throat might tear as she hollered at him. "It's not like you haven't left me before! This past month, for instance." Her expression changed, the anger slowly breaking down to leave heartbreak in its wake.

    "Where were you?!" She cried out, and suddenly that was all she needed to open up the floodgates. "I needed you!" Beth choked on the words, the fight visibly leavin' her body as she broke down. It was perhaps the most honest thing she'd said to him but somehow it had been the hardest to say. "I needed you - and you -- you...." Real tears fell from her eyes now and Beth looked to the floor, holdin' herself with her arms.
     
  8. Daryl Dixon

    Daryl Dixon The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    546
    Gender:
    male
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    46
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Good
    Daryl reacted viscerally, a sharp flinch that he ignored, only used her words to fuel how angry he was. He wanted t’tell her it wasn’t his damn job there to be here, he wasn’t her daddy, wasn’t her sister, wasn’t nothin’ – he knew that weren’t true though, that the group was family more than his blood had ever been, which was perhaps the only thing that stilled his tongue. He could feel the shame welling up deep inside though, he’d gone off destroyin’ Glenn’s cabin, cryin’ on fuckin’ Jesus’ shoulder when the person who was most affected by it all was Beth. So what if Daryl was tired of losin’ people – Beth had lost her dad, her sister, her nephew.

    Lost herself too, though he didn’t know if that really counted. That one seemed more on his side, considerin’ he’d watched it happen and all – though he’d been here long enough that the memories weren’t so fresh, that he no longer saw that every time he looked at her.

    “Like hell you can!” he growled back at her. Wasn’t her fault that asshole had cornered her up against the tree, but at the moment, all Daryl cared about was rebuttin’ her words with harsh ones of his own. His jaw set as she hollered at him, the reminder of all the grief they’d been through, the people they’d lost, lodging like a stone at the base of his throat. And then her expression changed and fuck, Daryl wasn’t sure if it was any better. The anger meltin’ away leavin’ heartbreak behind. He’d never been no good with tears, didn’t know what t’do with ‘em.

    Shame curled, hot in his belly, as she asked him where he’d been and he couldn’t give her no damn answer. He’d been there, but not really, just floatin’ on the edge, lettin’ the hurt settle in his gut and blind him to who really needed ‘im. His own anger curdled in his stomach, becomin’ somethin’ poisonous, chokin’ him and he could only stare at her. “Beth I...” he started, his words noticeably softer, a little lost like he wasn’t sure what he could say to her now that would make any of this shit any better, or erase the fact that he’d been a giant asshole. ​
     
    Beth Greene likes this.
  9. Beth Greene

    Beth Greene The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    322
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Survivor
    Location:
    405 Autumn Blvd, Misty Hollow
    Race:
    Human
    Directory:
    link

    [​IMG]
    Anger radiated off Daryl like heat, and Beth watched his jaw set as he readied himself for fight, prepared to hurl back whatever he could at her hurtful words. But then the atmosphere changed, the shouting stopped abruptly, and Beth finally broke down as she screamed at him what'd been in her heart for the longest time. The need for him to be there, not talk, not even give her a hug, but just be there, present and with her would've been enough. But it'd been like she didn't exist. As though she really had died all that time ago and he'd gotten used to having her haunt him.

    Once again, they'd lost another member of the group, and it wasn't just Pandora pulling them away; Glenn had sacrificed himself to save another and there wasn't anything they could do to bring him back. It was a small consolation to know it was the way Glenn would've wanted to go. Sacrificing himself for a friend, or one of the family. Daryl was a part of that family. Her family. They weren't blood, but they were all bound by somethin' more and he knew it.

    A horrible, ugly silence fell between them as Beth's words resonated in the air. She couldn't look at him, too ashamed at what she'd just done, at what she'd said and how she felt. He hadn't deserved that, and the truth fell upon Beth like a ton of bricks. Guilt twisted itself around the rest of her emotions, and Beth shook as she sobbed, head curled into her shoulder as she closed her eyes. The sudden tenderness in Daryl's voice broke her heart. He sounded lost, trying to find his way.

    "I-I'm sorry," she weeped, voice crumbling with every word. "I didn't mean... I..." What could she say? How could she take back what she'd just said? Beth curled up into herself, goose pimples beginning to erupt on her cold skin. Shit, when had it gotten so cold? She kept her face turned away from his, chin buried into her own shoulder. "Just forget it."

    None of it mattered now. A familiar emptiness began to elgulf her, leaving Beth feeling oddly hollow. Drunk as she was, the sudden rush of emotion had sobered her up slightly and Beth felt more aware of herself as she slowly turned, wanting nothing more than to crumble to the floor in a heap. Her knees felt weak as they knocked against each other, unable to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.
     
    #9 Beth Greene, Dec 23, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2017
    Daryl Dixon likes this.
  10. Daryl Dixon

    Daryl Dixon The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    546
    Gender:
    male
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    46
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Good
    They’d all been through so much shit. Over and over again, nothin’ they could do to stop it. He woulda figured he’d know how to handle it without bein’ an asshole by now, but he proved time and time again that that just wasn’t gonna happen. It was like the cabin all over again, cept no alcohol on his end to blur it all and make it a little more palatable the morning after. He swallowed, fighting the overwhelming urge to just turn around and traipse into the woods. For one, that’d make him even more of a shitheel than he already was, and two he wasn’t to leave Beth for whatever scumbag came outta that bar next.

    She started talkin’ and Daryl’s fists curled at his sides, swallowing hard as she began to sob. Wasn’t the first time he’d heard her cry, but it never felt good and it hit him right in the chest, head ducking a little as he chewed on his lower lip.

    And then she told him t’forget it and hell, it made him feel even worse.

    “Nah, I ain’t,” he said, watching as she weeped and he felt like the worst sorta person. “Yer right. I ain’t – I ain’t been there,” he admitted, glancing over at the bar and then back to Beth as she turned. He didn’t know how t’comfort her – wasn’t nothin’ he could say that would make any of this shit better. He felt better when he had somethin’ to do, like haulin’ off on the asshole who’d tried it on with Beth, but platitutdes and sittin’ there twiddlin’ his thumbs had never come easy to him. And it wasn’t even like he could go out and look round Pandora for the people he lost, cos they were dead and gone and nothin’ he could do would bring ‘em back. "'m sorry, Beth."

    He meant it for more than just not bein' there. Sorry that she kept losin' people when Pandora was supposed t'be a place where they could all finally relax for once.

    “C’mon,” Daryl said, voice gruff, although the arm sliding beneath her shoulder and around her back was gentle. “Get ya some coffee, sober ya up,” he said, though what she really needed, he thought, was t’go to bed and sleep it all off. ​
     
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  11. Beth Greene

    Beth Greene The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    322
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Survivor
    Location:
    405 Autumn Blvd, Misty Hollow
    Race:
    Human
    Directory:
    link

    [​IMG]
    Beth merely looked at Daryl, forcing herself to meet his eyes. A cynical voice wondered if he was simply saying what he could to stop her crying, to sober her up and get her home as quickly as possible. But another part, a stronger voice, told her he really meant it. "Stop," she interjected, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter. You're here now." In all her years of knowing Daryl, she'd rarely heard him apologise, not in the way he was now. It was hard for him, to say things like this, to open up even as much as he had. Her own eyes were red and bloodshot, and she noticed the rigid way he stood, fists curled at his sides. This was hell for him, and yet she couldn't stop, tears coursing down her cheeks unchecked.

    There was a moment's pause where he finally said it, and Beth looked him straight in the eye, knowing he was sorry for more than just tonight, more for what she was currently pissed about. He was sorry for things way out of his control, things they'd all been through that he couldn't change. And Beth realised, in that one moment, that she was sorry too.

    Back when when they'd been in the midst of a row, Beth had imagined herself walking this off alone -- head held high, she'd find her own way back and look after herself. But now, as Daryl placed his arm around her, she found herself sinking into his touch and resting a tired head on his shoulder. What an idiot she'd been. Beth sniffed as they began to walk, wiping her eyes once more with the back of her hand. Coffee sounded wonderful. And maybe some food, though Beth wasn't sure she was in any fit state to cook.

    After a few moments of silence, she lifted her head and gently rested her cheek against Daryl's chest. "Can I ask you somethin'?" She asked quietly. Now that they were alone, and no longer screaming in each other's faces, Beth realised the real reason they were both such a mess had never quite been discussed. Although the members of their family were now dwindling, life was busy, and time went by so fast. Now could be their only chance to talk. She'd let go of all her inhibitions tonight and was in no hurry to build them back up.
     
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  12. Daryl Dixon

    Daryl Dixon The Walking Dead

    Posts:
    546
    Gender:
    male
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    46
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Good
    Daryl chewed on his lower lip, head duckin’ again. Beth could say it didn’t matter all she wanted, but that didn’t make it true. No sorry was gonna take away how much of a self-involved dick he’d been, or the fact that he hadn’t done jackshit to protect the people he loved (course, he knew.. heknew that unless he’d been tailin’ Rick ‘n Glenn night and day, there wasn’t nothin’ he could have done to keep ‘em from dyin’ that but knowin’ that and bein’ able to accept that were two different things). Hell, what would have happened if he hadn’t been walkin’ down the street this late at night? It was odd, bein’ in Pandora where so many of the dangers from where they’d come from weren’t here, but there were so many other things they had to worry about.

    He managed to meet her gaze, resisting the urge to look away and hide behind his hair. She was still cryin’ and he didn’t know what to do with that, how t’get her to stop. She didn’t seem mad at him no more though, she let him put his arm around her without shruggin’ him off or yellin’ at him, and he guessed that was somethin’. It was a good thing the house wasn’t too far off – he didn’t know if Beth would make it all the way home, though she’d seemed to sober up a bit since they’d started yellin’ at each other. He kept his gaze on the ground in front of them, listening to her sniff, tellin’ himself that he was gonna be better from now on. No more gettin’ stuck in his own head.

    Course, he could tell himself all he wanted but the next time somethin’ fucked up happened he’d probably be right back in the same boat, but he at least wanted t’try. He tensed, slightly, as she asked him a question and he spent a moment chewin’ on his lower lip. He was guessin’ she wasn’t bout to ask him about what he’d done that day or if he’d caught anythin’ huntin’ and he wasn’t sure he wanted t’get into any conversations or nothin’, but he owed her, after the way he’d been treatin’ her.

    He grunted, a gruff sort of sound, a soft sort of mhmm, because he wasn’t sure he could trust his voice at the moment. ​
     
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  13. Beth Greene

    Beth Greene The Walking Dead

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    Beth looked into his face intently, watching the wheels turn in Daryl's head. He was deep in thought, head bowed and eyes straight ahead as they slowly walked back home. A small smile curled her lips as Daryl chewed on his own. "You know what I'm goin' to say, don't you?" She said gently, a tiny chuckle escaping her. Beth had felt his body tense beneath her when she'd asked, but he hadn't said no which meant he was at least willin' to try and talk. It was goin' to be tough, for both of them, but Beth needed to know.

    She hadn't heard the details; no one seemed to want to tell her or maybe they just didn't know. It'd all happened so fast, and in such quick succession that no one had been able to get a proper grasp on the situation. It a blur; a terrible, painful, blur. She knew Daryl carried around the weight of Rick and Glenn's deaths like it was his own doing, and she felt it too, though there's nothin' they could've done. Beth could picture them both so clearly in her mind that it was like they were both still here. She imagined them sat at the kitchen table when they walked through the door, but their house was quieter now and the silence was deafening.

    "So where... Where have you been? These past few weeks? I heard... Well, I guess I know, somethin' happened. Jesus said you weren't dealin' with things very well, and I guess, I kinda wondered... Why didn't you come to me?" She nestled more comfortably onto his shoulder, staring down at the floor. "I'm glad someone was there, it's just... You know you can tell me anythin', right?"

    She looked back up at him again. They hadn't walked far but Beth no longer felt the cold. Her tears had stopped and her mind was clearing, but she still felt... Empty. Her legs were still wobblin' and she felt dog tired, but Beth paid it no mind. She could hear the distant sounds of birds singing in the trees which meant the sun would be up soon. It was a beautiful night, all things considered, and there was a tranquil, peaceful feel to the early dawn. Beth spotted a nearby bench and decided to lead them to it, takin' Daryl's hand without a word. Even now, she wondered why he'd been out so late. It wasn't unusual for Daryl to take late night strolls, but he'd been doing them more and more frequently recently.
     
    #13 Beth Greene, Dec 30, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2017
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  14. Daryl Dixon

    Daryl Dixon The Walking Dead

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    Daryl let Beth lead ‘im over toward the bench, chewin’ on his lower lip like he might be able to evade the question if he tried long enough. He said she could ask ‘im though, and he sat down reluctantly, staring out in the dark, a troubled look furrowing his brow. “Jus’ around,” Daryl said, helpless, cos he didn’t know what else to tell her. “Was just so angry,” Daryl said, voice low, words stilted, like he wasn’t sure he wanted ‘em escapin’ from his mouth. He didn’t do this whole talkin’ through his problems bullshit, least, hell, least he didn’t used to. “Still am, I guess,” he said, because how was it that after all they’d gone through back home, the same shit kept happenin’ here? “Didn’t go t’anyone, not really,” he admitted. He wished he could light up a cigarette, but he figured he’d given Beth enough reasons t’be disappointed in him tonight.

    “Got real drunk, tore up Glenn’s old place,” he said, throat clicking as he swallowed around a mouthful of shame. “Y’know how I get,” he said. He knew this Beth, she’d seen him at the cabin back in their world, all fucked up on moonshine and mean. He was quiet for a few moments, his free hand picking at a loose thread on his jeans. “Jesus was just...there,” he said, and he didn’t shrug but there was a twitch to his shoulders. He didn’t tell her about cryin’ on the other man’s shoulder like some damn baby, or spending the night on his sofa watchin’ him sleep and not thinking about anything at all. There were things he could admit and things he couldn’t and he was just about all out of things he could.

    “Wasn’t....wasn’t tryin’ to ignore ya or nothin’. Wasn’t really thinkin’...”

    He pressed his lips together, feeling like he was made of stone, like he might never be able to get up from this bench again.

    “’m so tired of losin’ people, Beth,” he said, finally turning his head to look at her, hair hanging shaggy in front of his eyes. He needed a haircut. Probably wouldn’t get one. “They die or they disappear ‘n there ain’t nothin’ we can do about it. They could come back,” Daryl said, words like gravel. And that was the hope, that they’d return, but what was that worth if they never fuckin’ stayed? “But they’ll just disappear again. ‘n I’m just...waitin’.” How long was it before the rest of them left? How long before he lost Beth again?​
     
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  15. Beth Greene

    Beth Greene The Walking Dead

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    Daryl sat down beside her, his body tense and unsure. He had such a troubled look on his face, that Beth didn't try and interrupt when Daryl began to talk. She simply listened, letting whatever he could fall out of his mouth. Beth looked into their hands, giving them a reassuring rub now and again. Her gaze moved to the thread in his jeans he had begun to pick and Beth knew it was probably an unconscious sign of his uneasiness. She understood. She was angry too. He knew that already of course, given her outburst just now. But it had been misplaced, and even though they were fine now, Beth knew she'd feel the guilt for days to come.

    Her eyes darted up to his face as he admitted to tearing up Glenn's old home. She knew that already, but hadn't wanted to bring it up. She very much doubted he'd have opened up about it had she not forced it out of him. It was a little easier now. Their friendship had deepend enough that Beth hoped he'd feel comfortable goin' to her if he needed her. Not that Daryl ever asked for help. But everyone needed someone sometimes. She gave him a tiny smile, thinking back to their time at the shack.

    "I'm glad he was there," Beth said in a relieved sorta way. If there was anyone she'd want by Daryl's side, it was Jesus. He was an even tempered man, with one of the purest souls she'd ever met. Kind, generous. Brave. "And I'm glad you two are gettin' on a little better now." She glanced at Daryl with a slight twinkle in her eye, but said nothing. She knew there were things he couldn't quite admit to yet but that Beth had picked up on anyway. As good as Daryl was at keeping things to himself, he couldn't hide everything.

    The tiny smile that had come to Beth's face fell as Daryl turned his head to look at her. His hair was shielding most of his face, but his eyes -- which had always been his most expressive feature -- were full of the pain he'd been carrying around. "Me too," she said quietly, looking back into their entwined hands. She let out a shaky sigh, listening to the rawness in his voice. "What I said earlier... You know I didn't mean it, right? I know you'd never... We'll be together for as long as we're here, yeah? I'm not gonna leave you."

    Beth's eyes roamed his face. "I know I can't promise that I won't... You know I'll be gone someday. But you're not alone." It would be stupid to promise him forever; they both knew that would be a lie. Pandora was unpredictable and either one of them could be gone tomorrow. Beth was already dead and buried back home, and so she treated everyday like a blessing. Or at least, she tried her best to make it feel that way. Some days -- hell, some weeks -- she'd felt like being six feet under.
     
    #15 Beth Greene, Dec 30, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2018
  16. Daryl Dixon

    Daryl Dixon The Walking Dead

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    He couldn’t look at her as he admitted what he’d done. He felt like an asshole – still did – cos it hadn’t done nothin’. He’d gone round and cleaned it up, sure, but that wouldn’t bring those things back or erase the fact that he’d done it. And for what? Cos he was angry? Shit. It was probably one of those things he wasn’t gonna be able to let go of for a while, if ever, even if Beth didn’t ream him out for it. Which she didn’t, just said she was glad Jesus had been there. Daryl wasn’t sure what he woulda done if the hippie hadn’t shown up. Probably done a lot more damage, to both the cabin and himself. Part of him wished he had, but it wasn’t no new part or anything, just something he tried t’ignore.

    Daryl snorted, a little exhalation of air and had he been in a better mood he might have shot off some comment about how the prick was still annoyin’. But Jesus had done good by him that night, even though Daryl hadn’t deserved it. He remembered the last time he’d been in the same room with Beth and Jesus, and how disastrously that ended. He also remembered that Judith had been there, and the reminder made his chest ache. What an idiot, thinkin’ they were gonna be able to see that little girl grow up here.

    She was just gone, like the rest of ‘em.

    He swallowed, head ducking. She couldn’t promise that. Hell, she’d said as much in the cabin back home, and he hated how so fucking unfair it was. Sure, that’s the way life always was, didn’t know if it might be the last time ya ever saw someone, and there were some shitty ass reasons for people gettin’ taken away too. His own ma came to mind. But it seemed so much damn.... crueler, after the world went to shit. “Fuck,” Daryl said, succinctly, chewing at his lower lip. He hated thinking about it. “Can’t do it again, Beth,” he said, voice low. “Back home....I can’t do it again here,” he said. He knew she knew what had happened to her, and he managed, most days, not to think of it, but imagining waking up one day to find out she was gone again?

    Or worse, something happening to her?

    Fuck. He didn’t know what he’d do. He hoped, for his own sake, that he disappeared long before she ever did. ​
     
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  17. Beth Greene

    Beth Greene The Walking Dead

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    Beth could tell Daryl was ashamed of his actions, and while he snorted, knowing what she was referring to, the memory only brought back a whole other barrel of grief. Losing Judith had been one of the worst, especially when she'd been given a second chance at growing up with stability. Or at least, stable for Pandora. They'd all cared for her as best they could out on the road, but nothing compared to having a warm home to come back to, and food on the table.

    Beth's lower lip trembled as she watched Daryl bow his head into his chest, surprised by the sudden tightness in his voice. She looked at him with a kind of doe-eyed expression and shuffled closer, shaking her head as though she had some control over her own mortality. She wanted to promise him that she would always stay safe, that nothin' would happen and she'd never leave them like she had back in Georgia. But of course, she couldn't. Beth could barely comprehend the thought of waking up one day to find Daryl gone, and the mere idea made it difficult for her to breathe.

    "You won't have to," Beth found herself saying, ignoring all evidence to the contrary. "Daryl, I couldn't... I wouldn't..." She found her eyes filling with the tears she didn't want him to see. "I'll fight it. Whatever happens, I'll fight. I won't give up. You won't lose me." She gazed at him for a moment, leaning forward to gently kiss him on the cheek. "But you can't do anythin' stupid either. What you did at Glenn's... What if somethin' had happened to you? What if you'd got hurt or worse?"

    All this time, Daryl had been scared for her safety, terrified of watching her die, when it hadn't even occurred to him that she might feel the same. Sure, she'd never witnessed his death first hand, and she'd always strongly believed in Daryl's survival skills, but there was always a chance something could go wrong, or someone might get the upper hand. She could lose him just as easily as he could lose her.

    "You keep puttin' yourself in these dangerous situations, and everytime I watch you leave..." She trailed off, looking into their hands once more. "I worry that one day you won't come back." Beth looked up. "What if I lose you?"
     
    #17 Beth Greene, Jan 2, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2018
  18. Daryl Dixon

    Daryl Dixon The Walking Dead

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    Daryl swallowed against the tightness in his throat. He knew Beth was tryin’ to make him feel better (which was bullshit, he was the one who should have been comforting her) and he wanted to believe her. It’d be nice, to be able to believe that for a little bit. Like Beth just sayin’ she wasn’t gonna die made it true. But she didn’t even have t’die, not really. Pandora could decide to take her away and it’d be the same goddamn thing. He’d be powerless to stop it either way.

    He hated it.

    His eyes closed as she kissed his cheek, head hanging a little bit. His brow furrowed, just a bit. What did it matter if he did anythin’ stupid? Wasn’t like it’d be no damn tragedy if he carked it. But it seemed t’Beth it would be, something he couldn’t wrap his head around. He knew they were all family and would do anythin’ for each other, but for some reason it hadn’t really computed in his head that others might care about him the same way – with the same intensity of loyalty.

    Honestly, it made him feel more like shit, makin’ her worry.

    “Y’aint gotta worry about that,” Daryl said, voice a rough rumble. “Said I was gonna be the last man standin’, remember?” And there might have been a thread of bitterness to that. He was the very last one of ‘em that was worthy of bein’ the one left after all of it. Course, maybe that’d just be a punishment more than anythin’ else, watchin’ everyone else fall around him. He chewed his lower lip, staring out into the lightening darkness ahead of them, hating the fact that there was fuck all he could do about this bullshit, except keep going on and hopin’ that Pandora wasn’t gonna be so cruel. ​
     
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  19. Beth Greene

    Beth Greene The Walking Dead

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    Daryl had closed his eyes at her touch, dark hair hanging over the majority of his face. He'd lifted his head by the time Beth had looked up again, but his eyes were far away, lost in his own thoughts. Beth sighed. She'd been so angry with him a few minutes ago, and truthfully, she still was. Not in the way she had been, but it was still frustrating. Beth exhaled a laugh as Daryl reminded her of the words she'd once told him. She'd been drunk then too. Not quite as drunk as now, but there'd been a reasonable amount of moonshine involved. Still, it didn't make what she said any less true.

    Daryl would be the last man standin'. Or at least, that's what would've happened had they not come here. "I remember," she said in an oddly, fond sorta way. A small smile came to her lips but it fell as she listened to the bitterness in his voice. "But things are different here." Sure, they didn't have walkers to worry about (or at least, not like they had back home) but there were still mad men about, those threatening their family and who knew what else. But all that was nothin' compared to what Daryl might do to himself.

    "I do worry though," Beth persisted. "And that's half the point." She watched him for a moment before continuing, trying to find the right words. "I can't lose you. I mean you're my-" Beth felt her throat tightening and she looked to the sky, needing him to understand. "I was so angry... Am so angry because we should've been helpin' each other. But instead you just closed yourself off, and I'd shut myself away and we were just... There. Passin' each other like ghosts. Like I was a stranger." Beth eyed him seriously. "What if we lose someone else and you go off and do somethin' stupid? But this time you don't come back?" A concerned crease appeared between her eyebrows. "What if Jesus isn't there to help you this time? You can't do that, I mean it."

    Beth could hear herself speak and knew she sounded like overprotective mother, knew Daryl would resent her for it, and yet she couldn't stop the worries that had tormented her these past few weeks from spilling out her mouth. Try as he might, Daryl needed someone to stop him sometimes. A lot of the time that had been Carol or Rick; people who'd always understood him and been able to calm Daryl down. But one day somethin' could tip him over the edge and Beth wasn't prepared for when it did.
     
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  20. Daryl Dixon

    Daryl Dixon The Walking Dead

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    Things were different here, but he didn’t always know if that was better or worse. It seemed better. A second chance, people back from the dead without bein’ a walking corpse, but it was worse in many ways. Not knowing who was gonna be there from one day to the next, dealing with shit they ain’t ever had to deal with back home. He swallowed, feeling like a piece of shit. He never really gave much thought t’others worryin’ about him. It just didn’t cross his mind – too busy tryin’ to protect anyone else and honestly, the world really wouldn’t be worse for wear if he were taken out of it. That hadn’t changed since he’d arrived.

    He wished he woulda reached out t’Beth or at least just fuckin’ noticed how much pain she was in – though he wasn’t sure if he could go back and do it all again if he actually would. It was – shit, he didn’t know. Emotions and all that shit weren’t easy to deal with and Daryl was the type of person who’d go runnin’ the other way, and would only deal with them when forced. Like when he was trapped in a dumb cabin sloshed on moonshine, or some stupid hippie was physically stopping him from escaping.

    A low noise left his throat at the thought of losin’ someone else and he tamped down the urge to tell her to stop, that they didn’t need t’have this conversation here. Or now. Or ever. But he didn’t, he kept himself quiet and listened to her, and alternated between a mixture of guilt and helplessness.

    Daryl chewed on his lower lip, teeth worrying until there was a hint of blood. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Beth. Sometimes things got so messed up in his head that there didn’t seem like there was a way out of it, which ended with him doin’ something ‘stupid’ as Beth said. It wasn’t always burnin’ his hand with a cigarette neither, sometimes it was throwing himself headlong into danger without a care for what happened to him, or busting up something because it let some feeling out. He wanted to tell Beth that she ain’t never had to worry about that, that he wouldn’t but hell – could he really promise her that. If she or Jesus or anyone else went missing tomorrow he didn’t know if he could promise that he wouldn’t go off and do something stupid.

    But he wasn’t tryin’ to die or nothin’ – not actively. “I ain’t gonna –“ he started, words feeling like rocks in his mouth as he forced himself to look at her, head still hanging, hair partially obscuring his vision. It wasn’t really her place, t’be tellin’ him all that but then again, he guessed it was hers as much as it was anybody’s. They were family – it was something that he shoulda been used to by now, but still, somehow found himself surprised about every so often. Family that actually gave a shit about each other. “I’ll try, Beth,” he said because that was the most he could offer her. ​
     
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