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Complete alone

Discussion in 'Horizon' started by Rey, Jan 27, 2018.

  1. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    25th January
    @Kylo Ren

    When Rey had woken that morning, and turned onto her side, she hadn't suspected anything out of the ordinary. Ben had been staying with her now for a few days. Each day she had been getting stronger, despite how bad her injuries had been. She had steadily got used to his company, and had been enjoying it. However, when she opened up her eyes and searched the camp, she felt something was wrong almost immediately.

    She sat up with a start and then groaned, hand going to her side almost immediately. The wound was healing, but it was still quite sore. "Ben?" She called out. There was no response, but part of her had not expected one. The bucket of water had not been taken, and he had not left anything there. Rey was panicked. She couldn't feel Ben nearby as she had been able to these past few days. She couldn't explain the sensation she felt when he was around. A lot like their Force Bond, she was able to tell when he was there. Now, there was an emptiness and she felt her heart flurry in panic.

    He couldn't really have gone, could he? There was upset first, followed sharply by anger. She'd trusted him. Despite everything.

    Rey then had searched her mind desperately, trying to force their bond so she could try to figure out where he was. She'd tried the meditation which Luke had showed her, and then she'd gone for a walk, trying to re-create the situation she had been in last time when their force bond had activated. By the time the third hour had passed, she was in a horrible mood and there was a clear rut in the sand where she had been pacing.

    She was too angry to think beyond her mood. She was angry and hurt. She wanted to know where he'd gone and why he had gone. Rey screamed in frustration. What good was the force if it didn't work half the time? Rey flopped down next to the now extinguished camp fire and buried her head in her hands. What was she supposed to do next?

    The answer, it seemed, came when she least expected it to. When she had rubbed her hands over her face and looked up, Ben was standing there. His back was to her and in pure anger and frustration she picked up the nearest pebble she had and hurled it at his leg just as she stood up and stormed towards him, "How could you?" She was shouting, there was no hesitation in her tone.
     
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  2. Ben Solo

    Ben Solo Star Wars

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    He knew this would happen. Had been dreading it from the moment he made up his mind, when the anxious thoughts had grown too much and he knew he had to leave.

    Kylo stopped walking, and his eyes fell to the ground with a heavy sigh. His head quickly shot up, however, after witnessing a pebble fly through his leg, and then vanished from sight after it apparently hit the ground. If she were attempting to throw objects through their Force connection, he was in for worse than he thought.

    He took a step towards turning around, looked over his shoulder the rest of the way, and shook his head. "It's not worth it, Rey. Leave it," And began to turn away again.
     
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  3. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    At least they were still connected. Rey knew she wasn't as skilled as Ben. He'd been able to find her using the force alone; she wasn't sure if she had that kind of ability. Her anger was clear on her face and she could feel herself teetering on the edge of anger and anguish. For now she was powering through on the former. Rey's hands were clenched tightly into fists and she stared at Ben, unable to believe he had actually done this.

    "No." Her tone was stern and she ran around Ben so that she was now facing him head on. She could see something of his surroundings but she wasn't focused on them, she only had enough concentration for him alone right now. "Of course it's worth it. I want to know." Her body was quite open and she was almost trying to block his exit, even though their Force Bond didn't work like that. Her chest rose and fell as she steadied her breathing. She wanted to start shouting again, but she wasn't sure how much good that would do.
     
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  4. Ben Solo

    Ben Solo Star Wars

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    She came around to stand in front of him, and even though he knew he could walk right through her image, he came to a halt. His shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath.

    "Go find Han Solo. You'll make a better kid for him than I did. And give up the cave, alright?" He knew he should, he knew she deserved it, but he didn't want to talk about this. He'd never had someone care this much before, and he was nowhere near prepared to handle it.
     
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  5. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Rey just stared in disbelief. Not only had he not answered her question but he'd brought up more issues she wasn't sure how to handle. She faltered, visibly. The anger was ebbing second by second and being replaced by a similarly powerful emotion. The fact he told her to give up the cave was as clear an indication as any that he wasn't coming back.

    One hand was cupping her side; it wasn't bleeding, but the sudden foreign movements had caused her a brief amount of pain. She wanted to scream at him again. Tell him she was going to leave, that he could have waited for her, that he didn't have to run away. She didn't address the comment about Han Solo; that wasn't the way this was going to work.

    "Ben please, don't go this way." She said, with her bottom lip trembling. She'd never looked at him like this before, like she was trying to convey so much in one look. How could she make him understand that this wasn't about Han Solo, or who was better at what. It was just about them. "Speak to me." Rey stood her ground. She was determined when she wanted to be. She had no faith their bond would hold out much longer than it usually did, and she had no idea if he could walk through her or whether he was physically there or not. Regardless, she stood, chewing down on her bottom lip.
     
  6. Ben Solo

    Ben Solo Star Wars

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    He looked away. He had to.

    "I'm sorry, Rey," he said, and knew that he meant it. He was sorry he'd hurt her. He didn't want to anymore- but he had to.

    Kylo made himself look up to her face. The truth. "If I stayed, one day, it would be you leaving." He had to pause, take a breath to stay composed. But he kept talking soon after, wanting to finish while he had the courage. "I can't be what you want me to. I will never be a Jedi, not like you. And it might have taken a long time, but one day you would have realized that, and you would have left." Everybody else did. Why would she be different? He was better off alone.

    "I'm just... making it easier on both of us."
     
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  7. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    For Rey, he might as well have punched her square in the jaw. That was what it felt like he'd done. Rey looked at him for a few moments, deciding what to say. Her gut feeling was to shout at him, tell him that he was wrong and how wrong he was for running away. She trembled and stepped up towards him, shaking her head. He'd denied her before but she was determined to change his mind. Maybe she'd been naive to think it would just be easy. She hadn't expected him to run away so suddenly and without even telling her.

    "But you're not even going to try." She said in an exasperated tone. Rey had been willing to try; she had been willing to put her trust in him and see where it took them. She was trying to understand him but she just couldn't. She was also worried about how long their bond might hold out; she was still set on trying to persuade him to come back to Horizon. They could work it out together then.
     
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  8. Ben Solo

    Ben Solo Star Wars

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    He watched her step closer, unwillingly to flinch away. There connection was bound to break sooner or later- he could let himself feel his frustration, the something like regret nagging at him, then.

    "Try what, Rey?" To join the light side? To be her friend? Things would never be that simple, not between them. His words came out calm, and he was focusing on keeping his mind that way, too. He knew that they were each sensitive to the feelings of the other. He could practically feel Rey's anger seething at him.

    And then she was gone, with a flicker, and he glimpsed what may have been her lips parting to respond but was gone too quickly to tell. All that his eyes found was the empty fields around him, and a gentle rain beginning to pick up.
     
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  9. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    27th January

    It had been a few days since their force bond had severed. When he had gone, it had unlocked something severe within Rey and she'd screamed into the empty space. She was still in Horizon, having nowhere else to go yet. This world wasn't getting any easier and now with Ben gone, she felt like she was starting again. The question kept materialising in her thoughts; had she been wrong to hope that he might try? Was she the one who was wrong?

    As it happened, she wasn't any closer to answering that question as she had been when she'd screamed at where he'd been stood. Rey had gone back to type. She'd been out into the desert to some of the equipment which had been left like junk, and had figured she might be able to sell some of it to the traders in Horizon. She needed money; she had to eat something, as well as replacing her clothes. She'd managed to wash most of the blood off but there was a scarlet twinge she didn't like much.

    Rey had a bag over her shoulders of bits and pieces she'd found, though she knew she'd be lucky to shift them today. It was getting late. Maybe she'd have to sell them tomorrow.

    She was walking when she felt it. To Rey, when their bond began it always felt like she was stepping out from underneath a cool canopy into a warmer sun. "What do you want?" She asked, running her hand through her hair and putting her bag on the floor beside her.
     
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  10. Ben Solo

    Ben Solo Star Wars

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    This time, Rey found him sitting crosslegged under a rock in a rainstorm. It was rather poor shelter, as water was draining beneath and soaking through his clothing all the same. His hear hung in dripping strands pushed away from his face, and his arms were crossed tightly over his chest.

    He looked up to see her standing over him, and gave a sigh. "Absolutely nothing," he muttered. The weather already had him in a foul mood- he didn't need this on top of it.
     
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  11. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Rey looked down at Ben and a frown tugged at her lips as she turned her head to the side. It was one thing which was odd about the Force Bond, being able to be inches away from someone, and feel and see their surroundings so completely. Her hand twitched, she wanted to try to touch the rain but the hand fell back to her side as the thought died behind her eyes.

    "How long have you been sat there?" She asked, crouching down. She wanted to be angry. She wanted to shout at him again but she could feel the mood radiating off him. Her businesses could wait; she probably wouldn't get much trade at this time of night. Rey pushed her bag to the side as she fully sat on the sand in front of Ben; he looked soaked to the bone.
     
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  12. Ben Solo

    Ben Solo Star Wars

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    Rey sat down, making her more difficult to avoid eye-contact with, so eventually he faced her again. "Not long," he lied. A shiver passed through his body that he tried to hide, poorly, with a cough.

    He lifted an eyebrow at her. "Well, go ahead. Anything else you want to try and throw at me?"
     
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  13. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    It was hard to be furious at someone when they were in front of you, soaked to the bone coughing and shivering. She regarded him with a plain expression, looking him up and down. Rey had never seen a storm like it, not really. Living in Jakku had left her an expert in sandstorms, droughts and the like. She'd seen days where animals might tear each other apart for a place at the latest watering hole. Only in her dreams had she seen that much water. Though for Ben it looked something akin to a nightmare.

    "No, not today." She said nonchalant and with a shrug of her shoulders, "It didn't hit you anyway." She pointed out reasonably.
     
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  14. Ben Solo

    Ben Solo Star Wars

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    He raised an eyebrow at her. "I wouldn't expect that to stop you from trying." Still, apparently he was pathetic enough, or enough time had passed, for her to have cooled down. Maybe they could talk. She'd see why he had to go.

    "I need you to know that I did try. To be a part of the light side. I tried so hard, Rey." He watched her closely, needing her to believe him and understand. "It wasn't enough. That'll never be me."
     
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  15. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Rey was sat with her hands behind her; fingers finding the familiar sand and anchoring there as she watched Ben. She wished she could pull him out of that rain storm. They'd only ever briefly touched hands whilst using the force; she wasn't sure how the Force would react to her yanking him into another place altogether.

    And as he did speak, she visibly softened and the hard expression she had been wearing was replaced with something much more familiar to Rey. She knew it must have been hard for him, even being in the same place as her. It had been strange for her, but all she had really had to do was put her faith in him. She hadn't been the one changing. "I know." She said finally, dropping her gaze but letting it find him again as her fingers absently smoothed over the sand. Everything else around her felt very still.

    "There's still time." She said carefully. Rey wanted him to know she still believed in that side of him. She'd felt the conflict, and she couldn't shake it off.
     
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  16. Ben Solo

    Ben Solo Star Wars

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    He'd hoped, for a moment, but her words sent that crashing down. He shook his head. For him to go back, he didn't need to know she'd be waiting for him to change. He needed to know it would be okay if he never turned. And it wouldn't be, not to her.

    His gaze dropped. Then, after a moment, he stood up from under the rock. "I'm going to keep moving. Stay safe, Rey."
     
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  17. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Rey felt like her stomach had just dropped through the floor when he shook his head. She was trying to search his face and features for anything, anything which she could cling onto for some hope. She wanted to give him some hope that he could find peace, and end the conflict.

    A familiar wave of anxiety as he picked himself up off the ground.

    "No, wait-" She said, picking herself up and rushing to where Ben was moving away from her, but she could feel their force bond disappearing before her eyes,"...please." She finished softly. Where there had been rain, there was nothing but a lonely, empty desert. Just as she was used to. Rey stared off into the distance for a while before she conceded that was all the time they were having that day. She picked up her goods, slung them over her shoulder and headed off into the town.
     
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  18. Ben Solo

    Ben Solo Star Wars

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    Jan 29
    Even though it had brought Pandora Town, finally, into view, Kylo vowed never to ride horseback again. It was uncomfortable, especially for hours at a time, especially given he'd never done it before. But the farmer he'd stayed with on the way to Horizon had taken pity on his soul when he stopped by on the way back, and let him take a spare horse- an old, flea bitten gelding- the rest of the way to Pandora Town. My son back home was a big fan of your movies, they'd said. Whatever that meant.

    He was camping for the oncoming night in front of a fire that he could barely keep going, the horse grazing lazily nearby, when Rey appeared again. Kylo groaned in frustration, and fanned the flames before him again. The puffed up with smoke and spat sparks in response, but the flames actually catching on the wood were few and far between. His eyes had glanced her and quickly looked away. "Look, I really don't want to do this right now."

     
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  19. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Unusually, her hair was down. She'd been to the Cenote area of Horizon for the first time today and trained by the water's edge. Only it hadn't gone to plan; a large creature, looking like some odd cross between a large fish and a dog, had flown out of the water towards her while she'd been practising her balance on some stepping stones, and it had sent her flying straight into the water. She'd been in a good enough humour to see the funny side of it, but she'd left her hair down so that it might dry on her way back to camp. It was as warm as it usually was in Horizon.

    She was replaying the memory fondly with a smile pressed against her lips. She had more coin in her pocket, and she was now waiting for the clothes merchant to arrive at the Horizon market again so she could buy some new clothes. It was starting to become embarrassing as her clothes at the moment had rips and stains of blood over them, despite her best cleaning efforts. She had learned to try to take her happiness in the smaller things, as she had nothing bigger to focus on.

    As she stoked her own camp fire, holding the blanket around her shoulders, she saw him at the same time she felt his presence. There was a moments silence after he spoke. She watched his efforts with the flames, "If you give it room to breathe it'll start up. Don't force it, or it'll just go out all at once." She said steadily, not trying to lecture him, just give him advice. Rey had lit her fair share of fires in the most obscure places. As she looked into his surroundings she suddenly looked visibly shocked, "Is that a horse?"
     
  20. Ben Solo

    Ben Solo Star Wars

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    He glanced her way again, and even though the stubbornness in him didn't want to, he relented on the fanning and sat back on his hands with a sigh. He pretended not to notice how the flames, almost in relief, began to crawl up the wood. Instead, he looked over at the gelding, which hadn't paid him a lick of attention since they'd stopped. It still had its saddle on- if Kylo took it off, he'd never figure out how to get it back, and he knew it.

    "Yes. It's name is Pepper, I'm told." He lifted his hands to farm them at the fire, eyes on the flames.

     
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