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Complete alone

Discussion in 'Horizon' started by Rey, Jan 27, 2018.

  1. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Force-Sensitive human
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    Rey really wanted him to recount every little detail in how he'd managed to get hold of a horse. Perhaps it was the mood she was in, but it was just so odd to her. From his tone, she guessed he wasn't up to sharing much, and so she settled her expression into a light one and settled down so they were at the same height. The sand was quite cold, as she sun had retreated for the night. So, she tucked the blanket tight around her shoulders, giving a little shiver before she moved up to the warmth of her own fire.

    Looking past Ben, she could see tiny lights, all still. Like some kind of large settlement. Despite the fact he didn't seem keen on talking, she was glad of the company. She'd not spoken to anyone all day since selling some goods she'd found in the desert in the early hours of the morning. Here, at least she got paid in money and not portions of food. "I don't choose when this happens, you know." She then pointed out, referring to his earlier comment as she hooked her arms around her knees and looked straight on at Ben. She was glad to see him, see that he was okay, even if he clearly was not returning the favour.
     
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  2. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    254
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    29
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral

    He nodded once, lifted his eyes for a moment. Yes, he knew. Because he couldn't control it either- if he could, he would have put a screeching halt to it by then. That didn't mean they couldn't, say, sit with their backs to each other and pretend they were alone. But apparently that wasn't Rey's style.

    He was at least glad to recognize the fuzzy image of sand around her. She wasn't doing anything stupid like coming after him. That was good.

    "Are you doing alright?" The words were muttered, audible but just so. He wasn't sure he cared. He wanted not to. He convinced himself he was just filling the silence.

     
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  3. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Rey wasn't quite sure what he was referring to when he asked if she was alright. If he meant her injuries, then she was recovering well. However, she was lonely. She wasn't smiling and a frown tugged at her lips. Rey didn't know how honest to be with Ben. She wanted to believe that he cared about the answer. "I'm fine, thank you." She finally conceded with a shrug. It would be obvious to anyone that she wasn't. She'd had a good day, but in the silence and solitude of her shelter, the fact that she was alone compounded itself. It was more than enough to dampen her mood.

    "What about you? Where have you got to?" She added hastily on to the end, hoping to gain some more ideas about where he might be. She was sure that was a large settlement in the background.
     
  4. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    254
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
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    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral

    He looked at her pointedly. "It doesn't matter. But I'll be better when I get there." She hadn't moved yet, but that didn't mean the wheels weren't turning in that mind of hers. He didn't quite trust that she would stay put.

    At least, he hoped this had been the right decision. He'd already decided that he would find Darth Vader, in an attempt to find a connection and, perhaps, a point in the right direction.
     
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  5. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Rey looked at him curiously. "Better than what?" She had to ask him. She had to know what his end game was with leaving. Rey shifted uncomfortably; the sand was course and cold to sit on. She knew this force bond wouldn't hold up for long and then she wouldn't even have their conversation to distract her from the cold and loneliness of her present situation.

    Did he mean better than what she'd offered him? That thought hurt her a little, even though she knew it shouldn't have. She didn't have a lot, but she'd tried to offer her friendship and companionship. She was trying, she had tried so hard. It wasn't good for her to dwell on questions like that. Over thinking was always easy when you were out by yourself, especially when that wasn't what you wanted.
     
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  6. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    254
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    29
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral

    He felt her thinking too hard, twisting his statement to hurt her when he hadn't meant to. Maybe he imagined a crease of hurt in her brow. Kylo couldn't address it directly, though- he'd already tried telling her that she shouldn't care. Instead he told her the truth.

    "Well, it doesn't take much to beat being rain-soaked one day, sore from riding an elderly horse the next." That was all he'd meant. His eyes remained on her, to see if she'd relax at that.
     
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  7. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Rey was chewing on her bottom lip again. She did physically relax and felt some of the fog leave her thoughts. She looked straight on at Ben and gave a short nod, "Oh." Was all she could think to say. Her gut had been to add that it was also probably going to be better than freezing in a cave, but that only brought her back to her own situation and she didn't really want to dwell on that. Instead, she tucked her blanket even tighter around her shoulders as she gave a shiver. Despite being so close to the fire, she didn't feel warmed by it.

    She couldn't feel as much anger from him as she had been able to during their last few conversations. That was good. She stopped chewing down on her lip. "Your fire has grown." She observed lightly with a slight air of accomplishment.
     
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  8. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    254
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    29
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral

    Kylo's eyes fell to the flames, which had indeed grown. He nodded slowly, sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, they have." He glanced back to her. "Thanks."

    There was a pause. Maybe he should tell her where he was going. Just because they couldn't exist side-by-side didn't mean he needed to cut her away- not like he had his family. "Rey, I--"

    The connection severed, the girl vanished as though never there- because she hadn't been. Pepper gave a snort, and Kylo grit his teeth and stared at the hungry, crackling flames until the night lured him into another restless sleep.
     
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  9. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    1st Feb
    It was Rey's turn to cower from an impending storm; though she wished this one was merely physical. She had finally left Horizon. She'd had enough money to purchase a grey wool cape which cut across and around the top half of her body. She'd also bought supplies and a bag to keep it all in. After the last time she'd spoken to Ben, she'd decided she'd had enough of freezing on her own in the middle of a desert. This wasn't Jakku, and she was going to live out her life as a scavenger.

    So, she'd set off travelling; her main intention was to find Ben. She had no idea specifically where he was, but seeing the settlement off in the distance, she had to assume he'd gone back to Pandora Town. She had to try something; she was getting nowhere sitting in a desert in a cave. It had been yesterday morning when she'd set off. It was evening now, though she had dozed during the afternoon. During her slumber, she'd been disturbed by two bandits who'd been after the food in her bag. Rey had woken up in time to see them before they'd made off with all of her possessions. Seeing the possibility of losing all of her things in one go had caused something to snap deep inside Rey. Those were her possessions, and someone had tried to take them from her. Growing up with so little to hand, she had learned to fiercely protect her own, and now was no exception.

    She had pursued them; they were fast, but her training had taught her to match it. When she'd caught up with them, she'd managed to send one to the ground with her quaterstaff, while the other made it away. Her breath had been ragged and her anger was carrying her actions forwards. The man had tried to get up but she'd sent him backwards again and her impulse had been to grab her lightsaber and ignite it. It was then she'd heard a voice, almost like a suggestion; it was subtle yet possessive all at the same time. "Kill him... You know how..." It was something there, in the force. Rey had blinked and dropped the lightsaber all at once, following it closely after as her knees collided with the hard earth. The thief had taken his opportunity and left.

    Rey hadn't picked herself up off the ground for a good hour, by that time it was raining, though that had helped to mask her tears. She'd only ever experienced that type of dark force and energy before, and Luke had reprimanded her severely for it. This time there was no one to reprimand her but herself. She huddled under a natural covering in the forest. She assumed that there must have been leaves or something up above her to shield her from the rain.

    If she hadn't felt the force shift, Rey might not have looked up and seen Ben there. She didn't even have a fire lit and her cheeks were wet. "You've been gone a while." Rey said softly.
     
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  10. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    254
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    29
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral

    He was leaving the SUF Headquarters after meeting with Darth Vader, cutting through an empty alleyway, when she appeared. She was sitting on the ground, her face streaked with rivulets. Kylo halted abruptly, glanced over his shoulder, and then took a couple steps closer. His eyes narrowed. Was there redness around her eyes, touching her nose, or was it the light of her surroundings?

    "What happened?" The tone was low, and gave away no concern. He could feel her unrest. Something had happened, something that shook up even the ever strong and determined Rey.
     
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  11. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Neutral Good
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    Even though he was stood up, she didn't make a move to match him. It wasn't even that she was comfortable. Rey felt as pathetic as she assumed she looked. This had all been an excellent plan in practice. It wasn't going after Ben which had upset her. She hadn't expected the temptation or the draw to the dark to be so overt, or to even be present in Pandora. It scared her; she was the last of the Jedi, aside from Luke but he'd turned his back on that order. The weight of the responsibility bore down hard on her.

    Rey looked up at Ben as rain fell about her onto the forest floor. Where could she even begin? Would he understand why she was shaken by it all? Her stomach turned. A fleeting impulse told her to not tell him. To hide it. She'd stumbled, she didn't have to broadcast it anymore than she already was. She was silent for a time and shook her head, "I don't-" She started but felt her emotion choke up in her throat, "I could- I could feel it, Ben." Rey said finally, hoping he might understand. In the whole of Pandora, there was only Ben, who Rey knew of, who would.
     
  12. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    254
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    29
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral

    He wanted to turn his back on her, wanted so badly not to care about her. But he could see the war behind her eyes, the same one that had torn him apart for so long. He could remember being under Luke's tutelage, believing there was nothing more evil or wrong than listening to that whisper in the back of his head, the one that whispered to her now. He didn't have much in the way of answers, but his time with Darth Vader had already put that one step further behind him.

    Ben came forward and knelt, looking her in the eye and nodding. "I know." His expression remained neutral, but he lifted a hand, slowly, and wiped the tears from one cheek. When he touched her skin, he saw her pain clearly and tightened his lips. He paused to stay composed, and when he spoke again, his voice was quieter. "It won't leave you, but that doesn't mean you're weak." His hand withdrew. "What if you didn't have to fight it?"
     
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  13. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Rey was only partly watching Ben. A lot of her effort was still contained with the war in her head. She'd tried to restore balance but it felt like the storm had only gathered in strength. She felt exhausted; she wouldn't give up if there was a fight to be had, but aside from the few days with Ben, she'd been back by herself for the past few weeks and it was starting to show.

    She was surprised to feel his hand brushing some of her tears away; he was there so clearly, like he'd never gone in the first place. Rey was able to see into his mind too; he felt much more settled than she was. She envied him that. She watched him closely; there were no more tears to be had, she just needed to be heard. When he said she wasn't weak, the reinforcement obviously settled her. That was what she needed to hear right now; that she wasn't weak. She remembered feeling something like this on Ahch-To, when she had been concerned at the reaction Luke had to her meditation. She had sought reassurance then but hadn't got any; this time it was different.

    "What do you mean?" She sat up a little more and looked straight on at Ben, head slightly tilted to the side.
     
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  14. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    254
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    29
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral

    He had to be careful. He didn't want to say something to close her up and retreat to Luke's teachings. But if the dark still called to her, maybe there was still a chance she would see it differently. His eyes watched hers in the span of his pause, and then a sigh passed his lips.

    "I don't know yet, Rey. But I'm tired of choosing between light and dark like it's the only thing that matters." His eyes dipped, finding the supplies around her, the unfamiliar forest. She was traveling. "Where are you going?" He kept accusation from his tone- hopefully, she was just going to find someplace to live besides a cave.
     
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  15. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Alignment:
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    As he spoke, Rey felt the corner of her mouth twitch. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting him to say, but it wasn't that. She sat back, looking straight on at him. The fight between Dark and Light was something which she had only been introduced to recently. Luke had been quite certain about the fight between the two and keeping the balance. She was afraid of the influence of the dark side and Luke hadn't helped with that. "Will it always feel like this?" She said, putting her hand on her head. There was still a battle behind her eyes and it was giving her a headache.

    Rey pressed her lips together. She knew Ben had left because of her, because of what she was, so she didn't want to outright say where she was going. She didn't want him to suddenly jump up and leave. Pandora was a big place, at least she knew she had half a chance of finding him in Pandora Town. "Surely you know." Her tone was soft and she wrapped her arms around her middle to keep warm. This climate had none of Horizon's desert to warm the air.
     
  16. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    254
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    29
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral

    "I'll let you know," was all he could say. Because it still felt like that for him, he knew. But the things Darth Vader had only begun to tell him about made him think it wasn't the only way.

    He was silent for a moment, watching her huddled there, coming after him. "Why?" he asked, his tone holding a touch of bewilderment. Because though he wasn't surprised, he didn't understand. Could she still be clinging to the idea she could make him into something he wasn't? Maybe. She was stubborn. But he hoped she wasn't so foolish.
     
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  17. Rey

    Rey Star Wars

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    Rey grimaced and closed both her eyes. She tried to remember her training. Maybe she'd have to meditate or take some time to find the balance in the force to settle her mind, or she'd never get any sleep at this rate. "I'll hold you to that." She said, opening one eye whilst the other was clenched. Rey opened both eyes to face Ben again. The pain was ebbing, but it was still present.

    There were a few reasons which dug around the truth. Rey wasn't sure what he wanted to hear, or what he thought that he might hear. "Fulfilling a promise of sorts." She said seriously, regaining some of her determination despite the pounding in her head, "I said you weren't alone." And she had meant it. By default it meant that she would gain some companionship as well, but she wanted him to know that he wasn't alone. It was what she had been trying to get him to understand all along. The corners of her mouth gently pressed upwards towards him.
     
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  18. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    254
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    29
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral

    He couldn't bring himself to believe her, and not because he didn't want to. Every relationship in his life, someone had wanted something from him. To see things their way. To fight their wars. She wanted him to turn, that was it.

    He grimaced at her smile. "It's not that simple. You still think I'll fall for you and your light side and beg forgiveness for everything I've done. You're a fool--"

    And she was gone. He howled in frustration through his teeth, and would have punched the brick wall beside him if he hadn't thought better at the last second and let his fist hang at his side instead. His eyes bore into the place where she'd just been, until he finally rose and moved on.
     
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