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Blue Dragon [Hanzo&Raphael]

Discussion in 'Pandora, Year 1 - 7' started by Raphael Santiago, Oct 9, 2017.

  1. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    The way the stranger - Hanzo, how he finally revealed - only repeated Raphael's last name, it seemed like he'd already made the decision to only ever call him that, and, surprisingly, Raphael was even okay with it. He didn't have anyone doing that who wasn't a professional associate, and even of those, many called him Raphael because he'd allowed them too, because he wasn't very fond of forced formalities. But Hanzo calling him Santiago didn't sound like misplaced strictness, and more like a certain type of respect the vampire could not have possibly criticized. Because he actually liked it.

    The nickname had been a joke anyway, so the vampire wasn't sad when Hanzo rejected it immediately. He wondered about the rather lengthy pause though, about the way his voice changed slightly as if he was recalling a bad memory - and maybe he was. Raphael was in no position to ask for details, and chances were, Hanzo wouldn't even have told him something, no matter how politely he'd have asked him. Which, totally was. Maybe they would never see each other again - though Raphael somehow hoped they would - and if, they would have enough time to talk about that still, if the archer desired to do so.

    "I'm afraid you'll have to get it yourself," Raphael gave back in a friendly, if teasing tone, lifting his hands a bit to remind his guest that he was occupied in that second and couldn't have dreamed about touching that bottle.

    He did finish not long after that though, filling the enchiladas and pushing them into the oven before he could wash his hands and clean up.

    "What were you doing out there anyway? Just wandering about, hoping someone would provide you with a meal, or..?" Raphael met Hanzo's gaze with interest and a certain half-smile, over the counter, emptying his own glass and pouring himself another one. The second glass didn't even burn that much in his throat anymore, when he took the first sip of it.
     
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  2. Hanzo Shimada

    Hanzo Shimada Overwatch

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    He giggled amused for himself, nodding at Raphael's direction as he poured himself another. "So much for hospitality," he added, the words coming out with the at this point familiar spice to it. This Sake wasn't half bad, much better than the cheap distillations he got from wanna-be-traditional Asia shops, but not nearly as good as some of father's finest selections.

    Ah yes, Sake, the only thing that held him together after everything went down, the only real friend he ever had. It was a sad image, really, but Hanzo couldn't care less about it honestly. Not like he tried to hide his alcoholic tendencies, well knowing that Genji already got the hint, really not caring if his host would judge him about it or not. Alcohol was always there for him, keeping him warm and distracted, the only nice thing he had for himself.
    Almost shocking how he downed his second glass as if it was nothing, like vodka to a Russian, effortless.


    "Well,"
    he started, leaning forward as he folded one leg over the other, supporting his upper body weight with his elbow and lazily letting his gaze roam around the room.
    "Well, what can I say, I am a wanderer. I just roam around around around around.

    And tonight--"
    the voices in my head were unbearably loud so I had to get out and walk, walk until they finally keep quiet and do not drive me mad, "--seemed to be a good time to explore this part of town a little."

    Without hesitation, Hanzo filled his glass once again the moment the last drop of his previous shot disappeared down his throat, keeping up a, for him, unusually friendly smile, eyeing Raphael with growing interest.

    "It has been a nice walk, in a nice neighbourhood. That is, until a certain thief tried to steal from me." Putting on his infamous stone-cold face, he shifted a little to be able to side-eye the blue toy-sized-dragon, noticing that, the more Sake the downed, the less mad he actually was at the little critter.

    "You offering me to stay for a meal though? A lucky coincidence. One I am thankful for, by the way."
     
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  3. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
    the strongest card in the deck is the ace

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    A wanderer, huh? Raphael regarded his guest with a gaze longer than possibly necessary, before taking another sip of his Sake. The taste of apples and grapes was tinting his tongue more and more, slowly turning into a background sensation compared to the burning, but even that stopped after a while. He was left with a warmth that was so much more preferable over the painful feeling of heartbreak. Gods, he had never been one for drinking to forget. Because it never worked and sometimes - speak: most often - even made everything worse. If one was a person to get angry or aggressive when drunk, it was probably the worst. Hopefully Hanzo wasn't one of them, Raphael mused, watching the man get himself a third glass only moments after he'd finished the last one.

    The vampire himself tended to get cuddly and affectionate when drunk, despite how contradictory that seemed to his usual behaviour. And he usually would've avoided cuddling a stranger, but he already felt his hesitation grow weaker, when he filled up his own third glass to keep up.

    "Well, if that's the case, I'm very glad you've walked through here," he said, a soft smile curling around the corners of his lips. Because I could need a person to just talk to, to just be next to. Maybe even someone I can cuddle up to, only tonight. It was the heartbreak, the tipsiness speaking - or thinking, in this case - drawing cracks into his usually so controlled demeanour. Raphael wasn't the one to trust quickly. And he wasn't the one to get all touchy under normal circumstances, but tonight weren't normal circumstances, and he knew that.

    Leaning against the counter next to his guest after he'd rounded the bar, the vampire met Hanzo's gaze, before taking another sip of his Sake. It was no secret that he didn't exactly need much to get tipsy, and while he was still in full control of his senses and words and limbs, Raphael felt himself melting a bit on the inside. It reminded him partly of how he'd met Dorian, the mage he was suffering a heartbreak over now - a glass of literal Bloody Mary was all it had taken for him to not flinch away when the mage had kissed him in the confines of his hotel room; though it had not been enough to take away his ability to break the embrace when he realized into which direction Dorian was steering that evening.

    "Do you work in the city?" the vampire heard himself ask, momentarily forgetting that this wasn't New York, where that question might've made a tad more sense.
     
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  4. Hanzo Shimada

    Hanzo Shimada Overwatch

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    Hanzo watched Raphael move, still a little cautious despite the trust he had, the trust he gave away too willingly too fast, hoping that it wouldn't come around again and kick him in the face. Though, honestly, he would absolutely deserve it.

    Slow and steady he finally felt the comforting effect of the alcohol kick in, making him relax a little more while not letting his gaze shift from the other entirely. There was still the chance of his host trying something on him; while it felt rather unlikely, he couldn't afford to let his guard down completely. But would it do so much harm to finally chill for a bit? What did he have to loose anyway?

    The next question though, kind of hit him by surprise. He looked at Raphael, slightly puzzled, slightly embarrassed as he figured that, yep, he'd need another huge swig to answer that.
    So he emptied the bottle, shook it in front of Raphael's face to signal him to maybe, if he was kind enough, get another one; for his humble guest at least. Then he let the Sake settle in and took a deep breath.

    "No, I don't," it finally escaped his mouth, his words, while not slurred, started to sound unsure.
    No. Raphael really didn't need to know that, for the truth would only hurt his pride. This has been one of those many "first times" he had in Pandora, first time without a steady source of income was one of them. But to be frank, his past occupations haven't really been that much more honourable either. Saying "I am jobless" definitely sounded more inviting, more human than "I once dealt heavy drugs in broad day light".

    To avoid further embarrassments, he had to change the topic, now.

    "But tell me, Santiago, how comes you have the privilege to inhabit such a noble suite. What does it take to be friends with the owner?"

    The question was more than justified, at least in Hanzo's already poisoned mind. Luxuries, especially when they were a gift, always came with some price or exchange; calling it a gift only a tool to make it sound nicer.

    Raphael Santiago, just who are you.
     
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  5. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    With not as much as a small chuckle did Raphael get them another bottle, though it wasn't Sake anymore. "I hope, you like other wine, too," he said, pulling two appropriate glasses from the cupboard and filling one for each of them with deeply red wine, before checking on the enchiladas.
    They still needed a bit though, and the conversation was interesting enough to calm his nerves. He was usually a bit scared to burn things, because he had to keep them in longer than it would've taken them to smell as if they were good to go - sensitive vampire nose and all that - risking to burn them in the process.
    But, right now, he could still focus on the nice little talk with his guest, and he would've been damned to not enjoy it, too.

    That he didn't work in PT didn't bother Raphael a lot, maybe because he didn't make the connection to the fact that Hanzo's might not have been working at all - but even then, he wouldn't have cared. There were worse things to be guilty of. Having a bad character, for example.
    Either way, he didn't comment on it, but instead let his guest lead the conversation away from that topic.

    And, the topic Hanzo chose, was not one Raphael despised at all. "You mean, what it takes to be friends with Magnus?" The vampire shook his head a bit, seemingly lost in a fond memory, while leaning against the counter again, wine glass in hand.

    Normally, the question would've rang some alarm bells in his head, would've been rejected and instead Hanzo would've gotten a rather short answer. But, in that tipsy state of his, Raphael felt himself open up to the other - just back when he'd met Dorian in that bar not far from where they were now.

    "I think it's important to remind him of his achievements and of his worth once in a while. To be grateful for the care he expresses for you. And to thank him for small things on a regular basis. But..that might just be me."

    His gaze wandered into his wine glass, watching the liquid crash against one side or the other, like waves in a blood red ocean. "He has a thing for picking up people like me - the desperate kids without guidance and without a home."

    What Raphael didn't realize, was that Magnus picking him up had happened decades ago - more decades than he looked like. For anybody who wasn't aware of his supernatural state, it could've easily sounded as if this Magnus had helped out a maybe-13-or-perhaps-15-years-old Raphael, and kinda provided him with a home and hope for the last few years, when in reality, the warlock had actually saved a freshly turned vampire from committing suicide after killing too many people driven by nothing but hunger and bloodlust.

    "I owe him my life and I make sure to make use of it. And that's enough for him to keep me around. I'm like a son to him." A faint smile snuk onto his lips, when he finally met Hanzo's gaze again.
     
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  6. Hanzo Shimada

    Hanzo Shimada Overwatch

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    A nod, accepting the offer to more refined alcohol. Not particularly his first choice, obviously, but at this point he couldn't nor wouldn't be picky. A drink was a drink, just as nice company was nice company. Nothing to complain about.
    Thankful he put one glass down to take the next, immediately tasting the new refreshment. Acceptable.

    The explanation he got though was, different than expected. It was so unexpected in fact, that he rose his brows in astonishment, surprised about the amount of good there was in this world. And to some degree, he was glad. Whatever Raphael must've gone through, Hanzo found himself with a feeling akin to happiness that he got a helping hand to aid and guide him, for this long even. Sympathy? For a stranger? Was he really going down that road right now? Apparently.
    Enjoying his wine he listened to the nostalgic memories the young man shared with him, his paranoia completely shutting down due to the amount of trust and comfort he was exposed to. Someone who shared his early childhood or teenage stories, take your pick, couldn't have been hiding bad intentions. And everyone knew, alcohol was more powerful than any other method when it came to being truthful. A fact he was slightly worried about now, but he didn't try to stop it either as he gleefully drank more and more.

    "I see," he dryly replied, waving the glass playfully in his hand. "Never would I have expected it to be such a noble reason. Good, it is good to hear that." A faint smile appeared on his lips, eyes wandering from the red liquid over to his host.
    "Must be nice to have someone around, a mentor, a friend."
    And as quickly as it appeared, the weak smile disappeared again within seconds, dreamy eyes breaking eye contact to stare into an unreachable distance, nothingness.

    "Yeah, must be nice."

    Another swig.
     
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  7. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    It would've been easy to miss the slight tone of melancholy in Hanzo's words, but Raphael was a vampire, and even in this intoxicated state, he could still rely on his senses to pick up on changes of mood. On the smallest wavering, the tiniest crack the man tried to hide by a smile or by taking another sip of his drink.

    The vampire couldn't call himself entirely sober anymore, no, and when he reached for Hanzo's hand to let his fingers brush over it for only a moment, his sober self would've realized that he was very close of entering the next level of drunkenness. He retreated the hand quickly, but there was a tiny smile on his lips when Hanzo looked at him.

    This might've been the moment, where he should've said something along the lines of "I can be your friend, if you want" or maybe a "well, you have at least one friend now" - but that wasn't him. Not with a stranger, despite being slightly more drunk. He just held his gaze and let that gesture speak for itself.

    Placing the glass on the counter, he now finally got the food from the oven, displaying a grace and skill that nobody would've expected from a more-than-tipsy man; but since he was a vampire, that was more than doable for him still. Raphael placed two of the enchiladas onto a plate, decorating the rest of it with the sauce and scattering a few freshly cut herbs on top of it. He placed the plate carefully in front of his guest, and cutlery next to it, taking a seat after he'd rounded the bar again. "There you go. Enchiladas after the recipe of my mamà." The vampire gifted him a soft smile and took another sip of his wine.
     
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  8. Hanzo Shimada

    Hanzo Shimada Overwatch

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    Why was he getting so melancholic about it anyway? It's not like these things, these issues have ever bothered him or anything. He was a lone wolf, born and bred as such, in a world with no place for distractions or strong emotions, bonds. The only bonds he ever had to hold dear were business related; no more, no less.
    Blame it on the goddamn drinks, but for some reason he didn't flinch when Raphael reached out for him, his face definitely telling him that he wanted to say something, but couldn't bring himself to do it, or didn't want to. Touch has been a tricky topic for some time now, it was the invasion of the most personal physical space, a sensation, and actual feeling.
    Yes, if was alien to him, weird and odd, but for some reason he didn't mind this exact touch, as short and friendly minded it was.

    Though this little thing made him realize how much he actually drank already, it didn't make him stop, made him want to drink even more, actually. And what better opportunity to completely drink your brains out than with a nice meal alongside it. Hell, was he starving.

    "Looks ffffantastic," oh no, the mumbling already started, better cover it up with more to drink.
    Anyway, without further ado, and a respectful gesture of his gratitude (because Hanzo Shimada was not one to half-ass traditions, no matter how drunk he was), he finally dug into the much anticipated meal, his rumbling stomach enjoying this heavenly gift to the fullest.
    This, this right there, felt like a small reward after completing an awfully exhausting task. A little pat on the back, a nice gesture, reward.
    Raphael didn't have to do this, and yet he decided to do so, going out of his way to let Hanzo not only drink down his fine liquor like it was soda, but also making an effort to feed him, keep him warm, grant him shelter, even if it was only for the moment.
    No, he didn't have to do all this, but well well, here he was.

    "Santiago, this is," he said in between not even fully chewed bites, "hhheavenly. S-suuure, the competition is n-not, uh, not strong, with instant ramen and can food, but--"
    he swallowed another bite, his spirits rising as his stomach got filled, both with food and, how could it be differently, more wine.



    "Thank you, Santiago. For...for all this."
     
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  9. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    Instant ramen and can food.
    Dear God, how had this man survived up until now? Raphael was so so glad that he had cooked for him now, Because, he would've hated himself for sending the man off without a good meal in his stomach. They might not have been friends yet, and maybe they wouldn't see each other ever again - though the vampire dearly hoped they would - but Hanzo seemed to be a gentleman with a sad, hidden past, and, dios, he really was handsome with that side cut and that pleasant voice of his - and Raphael was very much drunk; the combination of all of these things made it impossible for the vampire to not lower his guard and allow himself to feel attracted to his guest - on a very platonic and aesthetical level, mind you.
    Sure, Hanzo was definitely his type, romance-wise - Maurice, the elf at the reception, had guessed that right, no matter how much Raphael didn't want him to be right; but right now, with that broken heart of his, the vampire was smart enough to not attempt to fill that void with another drunkenness-based crush that wouldn't work out anyway.
    Because, in this drunk state, he was, sadly enough, entirely convinced, that he wasn't anyone's type in return. Especially not Hanzo's. If he was even queer. Like. Who knew? Certainly not Raphael and he wasn't gonna ask.

    The vampire didn't register how, well, childish, or, maybe rather teen-ish, his thought process became the more of the wine he consumed, and he would've needed to register that to stop drinking. But, alas.

    "You're very welcome, guapo," he mumbled, immediately afterwards downing the rest of his wine and slowly making his way towards the couch. The slip of language - and the pet name he'd used - didn't register in his head anymore, when he sat down, placing the refilled glass on the small table in front of his knees. He would've asked then, if Hanzo wanted to join him, once he was done eating, but a part of him figured, the other would do that anyway, if he wanted to.
    * guapo - handsome (man)
     
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  10. Hanzo Shimada

    Hanzo Shimada Overwatch

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    Hanzo was a hundred percent convinced that this night couldn't get any better. This gentleman really spoiled him with everything there was: a nice ambience, lovingly made food, free drinks, cheesy pet names, what more could he ever desire?
    This meeting, this coincidence, there was no way that it was just that, there must have been more to it. No random stranger would take a homeless guy in, especially not one like Hanzo, there must be a catch, this couldn't be this perf--
    .
    ..
    ...

    Only now it dawned him, his mind beginning to filter Raphael's words out and putting them back together so that they would make sense. But somehow, they didn't. He felt a certain heat rise up in his cheeks as he froze mid-bite, staring at the young man, paralyzed, confused.
    Slowly he let the fork down, eyes narrowing as he licked over his lips, getting that sweet after-taste of wine off of them.
    "Www-what did chu j-just call me?"

    Did he get that right, handsome? He? Hanzo Shimada?
    On one side, which was his arrogant and pompous one, of course, Santiago was right! Hanzo was someone who took his outer appearance very serious, took care of his looks, made sure to always look pretty and clean but, somehow, this compliment came to him as a surprise. Maybe because it was, well, coming from Santiago, who admittingly wasn't looking too shabby himself, but he couldn't just say it.

    Though, something inside him clicked, and his rather shocked gasp turned into a sly grin, licking over his lips once more, this time, to provoke.

    "I see," he finally brought out, his voice having a sing-sang tone to it, "looking for those, ehem, handsome men to share a nnnnnice dinner with, huh?"
     
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  11. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    Raphael had grabbed one of his moogle plushies, crossing his legs on the couch he was sitting on and hugging the way too big creature made of soft fabric. His chin resting on the moogle's head, he met Hanzo's gaze, and, without even one second of hesitation, replied: "I said, you are handsome." - as if he had to translate the word to him, but he did it with a smile and closed his eyes for just a moment to cuddle back into the plushy.

    What he hadn't expected, was when Hanzo's voice suddenly changed to an even more beautiful tone. Raphael's eyes fluttered open, but it still took him a moment to grasp the words' meaning. Just, that the underlying layer went entirely over his head. He was generally oblivious to most flirts, but, hell, it was even worse when he was drunk. "They don't have to be handsome in a general sense. But when-- They..they need to be beautiful people from the inside, you know? Have a good character. Like you have," the vampire explained, softly slurring a few words, but not enough yet to not be understood anymore. And, from the way he said it, there was very little doubt that he meant what he said. That the stranger who wasn't really an entire stranger anymore, was a nice person from what he'd gathered so far. And handsome. God, so handsome.
     
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  12. Hanzo Shimada

    Hanzo Shimada Overwatch

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    That cheeky smirk of his turned into a full grown grin; he even had to laugh at that statement. His behaviour truly was odd, out of the ordinary, apparently a weakling when it came to drinking, but at the moment, Hanzo wasn't much better. His glass as well as the bottle were empty, his judgement clouded and as he tried to put the wine glass down, he noticed how his depth perception was off, movements not as controlled as they should have been.

    Still, he leaned far over, chin resting on the backs of his hands as he inspected Raphael through the veil of dizzy drunkenness. Calling him handsome was one thing, but telling him that he had a good character? Oh perish the thought!
    There was nothing good about Hanzo Shimada that would be even mention-worthy. His archery skills were extraordinary, that much was true, a prodigy with bow and arrow, but other than that? No, not a single positive character trait.

    "Ooooh Santiagoooo," he sang back, doe eyed, drunk, and so filled with mockery.
    "You have made a bad, baaaad judgement here. Hehe, I d-dooo not knooow, no, not know, who do y--you think is sittin' here, but he is, no, good."
    To be frank, shaking his head looked more like Hanzo was wobbling all nervously in his chair, almost tilting it to a degree where he fell off, but who cared.

    Beautiful people from the inside, he said.

    Have a good character, he said.

    ...Like you.

    Raphael was either stupid or naive, or both as a matter of fact, having truly misjudged his guest. The admittingly slightly flirty attitude ebbed away after some time though, and Hanzo's face became fierce, cold, serious, almost frightening.
    He was no good man, no, never was, probably never going to be despite everything his brother claimed...
    ...his brother...

    Too drunk to actually filter any thoughts by now, Hanzo let himself be guided by the strong emotions which have overcome him now, caused by a few well meant words, which now backfired more than Raphael could've possibly imagined.

    It was quiet for a moment, then, Hanzo attempted to hide away, covering his face with his hands, trying to bury this shameful facade, this hideous excuse of a human being, the burden that was he himself.

    "N--no, Santiago, no. I am no good man, I am not...I did something, s-so... I did something so, h--h-horrible-- no."

    A muffled sob followed quite after, and there it was, the moment he feared, the moment in which alcohol turns you into the most honest version of yourself. And Hanzo's honest version, was the self-loathing brother-killer he thought he was.
     
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  13. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    The shift came sudden and it came harshly. One moment he was - what? - flirting with him, the other he suddenly sobbed into his hands, mumbling something about the worst things he had apparently done, and--

    Without spending a conscious thought on it, Raphael was suddenly next to the other, having been way too quiet when putting down the plushy and walking over to the bar. "Hey. Hey, Hanzo..." The vampire rested a hand on that beautifully soft hair, petting the man with nothing but genuine concern. "I don't care what you've done. It's probably not worse than what- I mean, what- what I did." His voice, as drunk as it sounded, had a grave tone to it. Fifteen people. Dead. Without any reason. Without any sense. Without any chance of redemption or hope. Dead. And their blood forever on Raphael's hands.

    "Come." Without waiting for his guest to answer, the vampire had lifted him from his seat - with ease, mind you - into his arms, because, in that drunk state he was in, that seemed like a good and entirely normal idea. Within the blink of an eye, the archer found a better seat on the couch now and the moogle Raphael had held in his hands a minute ago, getting shoved into his arms. Softly.
    The vampire knelt down next to him, but kept his hand to himself for the moment. "It's okay. Sorry. I didn't want to make you cry, handsome."
     
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  14. Hanzo Shimada

    Hanzo Shimada Overwatch

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    When the other was helping him to get up, Hanzo didn't protest, partially because he was feeling disorientated, partially because...why bother? Where was the point in being stubborn now?
    Yes, this really was too good to be true, and now it turned into an absolute nightmare. Not only were old wounds torn open again, but he just completely embarrassed himself in front of a stranger-who-didn't-seem-too-much-of-a-stranger-anymore.
    He didn't say a word until he was seated again, didn't want to say anything more, couldn't. Some good company apparently wasn't enough to shut down those awful voices shouting, yelling, hammering in his head, degenerating and mocking him whenever they got the chance, whenever he was listening.

    "Nno, you--you don't get it," and honestly, he wasn't expecting Raphael to understand his situation, he didn't want his pity. There was no honour, no pride in killing family, the only family he had, and at that, rejecting every possible chance of getting it back.
    Genji may be alive, but he knew that it would never be like the old days, those days he mentally still lived in, unable to let go, refusing to forget them.
    Hanzo was just that eager to stay miserable that his toxic attitude spoiled the soil and prevented any attempt of growth. The arrogant facade he wore has been a result from all this, from his long journey of pain and trauma; remnants of the past, because it was the characteristic of a strong leader, a feared one.

    Hesitantly he accepted the plush figure Santiago offered him, only a little comfort, but better than nothing. Quickly his sobs ebbed away again, only his glassy eyes remaining an indicator that he had cried in the first place.
    "It 's not y'r fault. I shouldnnn-- shouldnnnn-- 'nd have come here."
    It was almost ridiculous, the whole scene, him sitting red-eyed on a stranger's couch, a stranger who made sweet compliments and dared to call him nicknames, a stranger who didn't shy away from him, yet.

    Santiago, that absolute madman.
     
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  15. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
    the strongest card in the deck is the ace

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    "No, no, no, you should've!" Raphael whispered softly, taking Hanzo's hand and squeezing it, in a lack of any other helpful technique. "Doesn't matter what you've done. Doesn't matter if I understand."

    It was a dangerous dance on that steel rope between pushing Hanzo further down into that pit of sadness and regret, and making him angry. Or maybe it wasn't, but Raphael didn't know which would cause what, and so he ended up staring at the other and holding his hand so it might do something.

    "You made me happy, Hanzo," the vampire suddenly said. "You came with me and you just- You were just so glad and you thanked me for that...that small thing and... I don't want you to be sad."
     
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  16. Hanzo Shimada

    Hanzo Shimada Overwatch

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    What huge effect small little gestures had. Hanzo's train of thought immediately stopped for a moment; he was too occupied staring down at Raphael, wet eyes and rosy cheeks, while trying to make sense of, just everything. How could someone who didn't know anything about him other than his name, alcohol addiction, and the fact that he had an obviously dark past still willingly hang around him? It made no sense.
    What made even less sense though, was this thing, which was basically him not pushing the other away and actually allowing the touch, yet again, not protesting, not flinching. Gosh how was he even able to think straight right now. Maybe he wasn't? Could he be held accountable for any of his actions? No one knew.

    The worst thing was probably, that he had no clue on how to react to compliments like this, since this was the first time ever that he had been confronted with them, genuine compliments. How did one react to that? How did one answer to that?

    "Santiago, I--" am speechless.
    So speechless in fact, that he didn't even notice how he gave back that gentle squeeze, the response coming to him naturally. Just, what the hell was going on...

    "...I am deeeefntly not the one you sh-should waste your happiness on. N-nooot worth it, trust me. Dr'nk men tell no lies."
     
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  17. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    The problem, or, maybe less of a problem, and more of a side note, was, that Raphael, without any of his usual layers and shells to hold him back, had too big of a heart and God, this guy was pulling on every of his heartstrings. As drunk as they both were, the vampire didn't think about how there were things like a certain level of trust they would've needed to reach first, or how awkward it would be tomorrow morning, realizing they had poured their hearts out to each other in all the drunk ways.

    No, instead, he held onto Hanzo's hand, feeling a warm spark getting ignited somewhere in his chest, knowing the other was starting to accept that help he was offering so clumsily. Or maybe it wasn't even that clumsily. What did he know? In that moment relatively little.

    What he did know though, was that Hanzo deserved some happiness; if that was only his drunk self talking, or if his opinion had been the same, would he have been sober, he couldn't tell, but it didn't matter what his sober self thought right now anyway.

    "I'm not wasting anything on you, Hanzo." Raphael held the mundane's pained gaze with conviction. "I'm not wasting. Anything." He had no idea where this conviction was coming from, on what it was based on, except his gut feeling. Did that matter? Not in the slightest.

    An almost bitter laugh escaped him instead, his eyes skipping downward all of a sudden. "It's more that you waste your time here, when you could do thousand of other things. Meet thousand of other people. And they would like you too. But they'd be much more of a better company than me. And you'd have- you'd have-- They're not so goddamn difficult to handle. They'd be normal. Not like me. Nobody's like me. And I know Magnus is just trying to make me feel good by saying there's nothing wrong with me, but there is, and that's why I don't ever get a datemate. That's it. That's why I won't ever."

    He was rambling at this point, which was unusual for him to begin with, but the topic especially was something he wouldn't normally talk about. Not with an almost stranger and not like this, not so desperate and full of self-loathing.
     
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  18. Hanzo Shimada

    Hanzo Shimada Overwatch

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    Now that was quite a lot to take in; the sudden outburst of words and emotions almost overwhelming Hanzo and his delayed brain. It took him a few good moments to comprehend the meaning behind any of those sounds, and even then, he didn't really know what to make of it.
    Suddenly he was confronted with brutal honesty and, what, what was he supposed to do with this? He didn't want to belittle Raphael's problems in any way, for they seemed grave enough for the man to have this little break down, and to be frank, Hanzo also would be the last one to make fun of other's psychological well being, for he himself wasn't really shining bright in that department. But goddammit, this man had his demons to bear as well and there was nothing he could do to ease them.

    "Santiago," his voice a soft attempt of comfort as he tugged gently at his hands. This position he found himself in was not one he favoured, and he didn't want to appear more of a douchebag than he already was, so instead of offering the young man a seat beside him, he decided to slide off the couch, quite clumsy, to sit down onto the ground beside the other.
    A bit at a loss here, Hanzo just laid one of his arms around his host's shoulders and pressed him closer to himself. Normally he would never even think about such an action, but this was no normal circumstance, and Raphael clearly needed this right now; maybe Hanzo did so as well, though he would never admit it.


    "You 're wrong 'nd an idiot if you think I'd have aaaaaanything better to do right now. I'm homeless, g't no job, am very unl-uuuunlikable. Heh, my brother, he uh, he recently introduced me to his - how 't say it - uhm, let's call it second family. Yes, that seems about right. And Santiago, you know what? I was the absolute wooooorst. Oh the hostess was so lovely, so nice, and what did I do? Got drunk, probably scared the other guests. D'n't even say goodbye..... she must hate me now."

    He pressed the much smaller man a little closer, chuckling low with such wistfulness and hurt, explaining to this stranger why he was such an incredible disaster.
    Who cared if he wasn't thinking through what he was saying, hopefully none of them would remember it tomorrow anyway.


    "And you Santiago, ah, screw that, Raphael, uh, you have such a hh-heart of gold. I don't even know what the hell you're talking about. Difficult to handle, ugh, my brother could sing whole ballads about how unbearable I am. In comparison, you seem to be a saint."
     
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  19. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    In the drunk state they both were in, some things just made more sense than they usually would. Raphael easing into the stranger's hug, to name one example. Listening to how miserable this man's existent seemed to be and thinking 'Fuck, that's majorly bad.', to name another. To quietly blurt out: "But I don't want sex with anyone!" as if that was so much more worse than anything they both had named tonight, was..probably the most obvious sign of how drunk they were.

    "I know how brothers can be; they're always like that. One moment it's ride or die, the other it's I've never seen this person in my entire life. I'm sure he loves you despite all the ballads. And I know for a fact that you- that you're--" Raphael craned his neck to meet Hanzo's gaze somehow. "You're not scary. Not at all." Why Hanzo thought he was scary was entirely beyond the vampire. The man was handsome and so nice and just- not scary at all. Inside his drunk mind, the other's fear made no sense at all anymore.

    What made sense though, was to continue the thought he had - luckily - not lost yet. "But I? I might look pretty or something, but I'm like a fake diamond. People want me because they think I'm worth so much and they can do things with me, and then- then they realize that I'm just a piece of glass and not worth anything. Any-thing. I trick people into thinking I'm something precious and cool and pretty, but I'm actually none of those things. I just want...I just.. I don't wanna fuck them. Or get fucked. And they think I want though, because that's what I look like when I flirt with them, right? So- So, they invest their time in me, and for what? Only to be rejected when I say Nope, sorry, man. Not with this guy. Because, hah, yeah, you thought I was like all the others, but uh-uh. I only look normal, but I'm not. They all waste their time and energy on me."

    Living with these subconscious thoughts lingering in the back of his mind for years now, despite what Magnus said or what he told himself, over and over and over again - Raphael just couldn't actually entirely believe in it. Because there'd been nobody to really prove these thoughts wrong. Not one person. Especially not the handful of datemates he had had over the years. All of them leaving sooner or later, and that thing was always part of the reason why. Always.

    "And then, you know, when I want someone for once? Yeah, well, then I've lost before I even started, because there's noone like me. And they all just want sex or want it to be a part of that relationship and I- I can't. I've never liked people that way. I've never wanted them to like me that way. I've never wanted sex and I've never-- I will never want sex. But the people I crush on, do. You see my problem?"

    Of course, all of this was a bit exaggerated, painted by drunk despair and memories and pretty recent memories, too. "I'll never find someone who doesn't want that. Who's kind and pretty and funny and could care less about sex. Never."
     
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  20. Hanzo Shimada

    Hanzo Shimada Overwatch

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    Listening to Raphael’s tale, Hanzo nodded along in agreement, sprinkling a “mmhm” or a “y-yeah” here and there as if he was totally understanding what his host was getting at. But truth be told it took him probably way too long to realize the issue here, or actually, to find an issue here in the first place.
    It wasn’t only his drunk mind that couldn’t process the emotional blabbering, which he of course still took serious, indicated by the way he dared to shift closer to the other and offer his support in some way, even if this way was more than hideous and stupid.
    There has actually been a similar problem in his past, not in this form or extent, but similar in a few aspects. So at least Hanzo could relate to some degree with the troubled man by his side, even if he was still kind of confused.

    Now that he got time to really think about it, he didn’t really understood the problem at hand. Different from his experience, Raphael didn’t seem to be forced into these relationships, but choose to commit to them out of his own will. And the most important part is, he choose the partner he wanted to be with himself, and wasn’t assigned to one. Wasn’t that a good thing? Or was he interpreting the situation wrong?
    Then there was the thing with the sexual intercourse which was apparently a deal breaker and...well, a thing. Was it really a mandatory thing in a relationship? Was this the thing dating lead to? Wh-what was the meaning of all this?

    Hanzo was probably the wrong person to turn to with these problems, granted that he has never been in a relationship before, or found himself in a situation where such knowledge would be required. Genji had the role of the playboy back in the old Clan days, he was the one who had to bring in the girls for financial support, not Hanzo. As chairman of the yakuza one has little time for these trivial things anyway, and his mind was way too occupied with politics and clan intern affairs than break his precious head over anything “love” related.
    In other words, the fact that this actually seemed like a pretty big deal to Raphael was simply baffling to him.

    This was so confusing and he almost got dizzy from figuring out what the hell the core of the problem was, besides he himself being sauced pretty good already.
    The only logical thing his brain could come up with was the following, delivered with confused seriousness: “Are you telling me that you, have like, how to put it, a second face or something?” Was he making sense? Probably not but so was Santiago.
    He squinted his unfocused eyes at the gentleman in anticipation of something happening. “Is this even your real face? What the hell are you talking about?”
    Maybe his suspicion was right, and Raphael was some kind of serial killer, or what seemed more likely at this point, one of those sirens who lure you in with pretty faces and melodic voices, only to devour the poor soul who falls for this cheap trick. And now it looked like Hanzo was falling for this cheap trick as well.

    Besides the now present question of the man’s real identity, Hanzo’s plastered brain slowly connected a few loose dots, which lead to nowhere actually and just left him with another question.
    “W-wait wait wait waaaait, hold onto that for a second, wait.”
    Did he just get that right? It sounded stupid pre-forming the words in his head, so, that couldn’t be it...or could it?
    “Raphael-san, are you trying to sell me that something like sex is an important part in a relationship, without the obvious connotation of procreation? Because I am not buying it, no.”

    Besides, that would be the first time he heard about it, because up until now it was just a necessity to justify the means, nothing more, nothing less. So if Santiago didn’t want it, what was the problem? And why were other’s making such a big deal out of it? It just didn’t really add up in his head.
     
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