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Private Don't Let Me Fade Away (M)

Discussion in 'Ark City' started by Chuuya Nakahara, Dec 23, 2019.

  1. Chuuya Nakahara

    Chuuya Nakahara Bungo Stray Dogs

    Posts:
    445
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Freelance / Criminal
    Location:
    Ark City
    Race:
    Human (Vessel of Arahabaki)
    Age:
    23
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link
    Content Warning

    December 15th, Year 109
    @Osamu Dazai, Alexei (NPC)

    He’s been here...for sixteen days.

    Chuuya was kidnapped in the afternoon, almost evening of November 30th. Nobody was coming.

    Alexei just kept the torture up and the memory invasion and the gaslighting. Chuuya had more marks than he could count: bruises caused by the beating, some burn marks cause of the electrocutions, needle marks from the drugs. His leg still hurt—it felt twisted. He didn’t think he’d walk properly until he gets medical attention. Chuuya has ended up digging his own fingernails into his arm to leave marks to feel any sort of pain—pain of his choosing. He even managed to stab his knee with a pen. It bled before the blood just dried up on the wound.

    And yet...he didn’t feel anything.

    There were dry tear marks on his face—might have puked the last time they took him to the bathroom. Seeing the Sheep betray him was an old pain. Seeing Dazai the last time he had been in the mafia was an old pain as well. Seeing Dazai tell him to get out of the hospital...was fresh.

    Chuuya thinks...during this time, he went through emotional stages. Maybe of grief. Or maybe of sorrow. He’d been in denial and in anger...for so long. Even before he was brought here, he never really moved on from Dazai when he vanished.

    He was always angry. Always annoyed. Always wondering the ‘why’ he was so pissed about it. He knows now why—and it wasn’t because he loved Dazai. No...it was because he was abandoned. But what difference did it make? It only hurt more.

    Nobody was coming for him.

    Nobody was coming for him.

    Why would anyone come for a monster like him?

    ...This was acceptance. Dazai would never come for him now—not after he ruined what they had because of how he felt. It was better this way...wasn’t it? At least, Dazai wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore.

    Chuuya never had much of a choice in life. When he was a child, he became the vessel of Arahabaki. When he was taken by the Sheep, he became the King to protect them. When he met Dazai, he became his sword and shield. When he was betrayed by the Sheep, he was taken by the mafia. When he was in the mafia, he became Double Black with Dazai.

    When was any of this his choice? When did he have control over anything? Chuuya opened his eyes and sighed. A choice. He did have one left—one last sliver of himself that nobody has taken.

    “Grantors of dark disgrace, you need not wake me again.”

    I'm sorry Dazai...looks like you'll live on without me. I hope you find what you’re looking for, in the end.

    Chuuya felt he was going numb as Corruption took over. His chest feels light, head void of the noise—his body bursting with an energy he will never be able to contain as he was branded by Arahabaki and heart is now free of guilt, at last, at last.

    It ends now.

    The underground bunker shook as Chuuya's hand glowed and he shot a black hole to the door. It destroyed the door, the wall and the ones standing guard. He didn't feel any pain in his leg, as he stood up and slouched forward, making his way out...a smile slowly creeping on his face.
     
    #1 Chuuya Nakahara, Dec 23, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2019
    Osamu Dazai likes this.
  2. NPC

    NPC

    Posts:
    99
    [​IMG]

    “Grantors of dark disgrace, you need not wake me again.”

    Alexei smiled at the footage as Chuuya spoke those words, hands stroking the Prometheus cuffs. He’d taken them off as Chuuya slept because he knew the young man had been near the breaking point.

    It had taken a little over two weeks to crack this man’s resolve. The physical torture was necessary, and he would have left it like that, but Trick pushed his hand. He’d had a suspicion that the young man was getting a guilty conscience, especially at Chuuya’s first escape attempt.

    He kept a close eye afterward, as he influenced Chuuya’s mind. He told the man he’d been forcing him to see his most painful memories, but that was a lie. Influencing actions and reactions through shifting memories was what he did best. The text message he showed Chuuya of Dazai was proof enough. Making the mind believe that it saw something different than what it was in reality.

    Trick tried to save Chuuya...but it was useless. He hadn’t wanted to kill the man, but sacrifices were necessary. Especially when now...his goal had been successful.

    He had left red herrings for Dazai to not find the underground hideout he had underneath a two-story office building that he had rented under a different name. Alexei was in the neighboring building, as he was seeing the side of the building get eaten by a graviton. He had 30 men at first, but the numbers were dwindling as Chuuya was killing them while they tried to stop him, walls crumbling underneath the power of gravity.

    The guard stationed came in a panic to his office. He said that was a monster there and that they should escape now before it comes for them. Alexei just smiled. “Stand by. Let him pave the way to a new age.”

    Just as planned.
     
    #2 NPC, Dec 24, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2020
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  3. Osamu Dazai

    Osamu Dazai Bungo Stray Dogs

    Posts:
    325
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Stray Dogs Mafia
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    23
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link
    It had been some time since his hands were this dirty; even more time since that both was and wasn't a metaphor. He had to give it to Alexei - he hadn't made this easy. A puzzle perfectly designed. Misdirection; both red herrings that were easy to spot and easy to miss. It had taken him awhile to put it all together. Too long, honestly. Since that text, it had been sixteen days. Sixteen days that Chuuya had been within that lovely piece of work's hands.

    Anyone else would have been dead, but he knew Chuuya well enough to know it wasn't to that point. Yet. Too stubborn to die. Though...perhaps there was a bit of a shadow of a doubt. The last time the two had seen one another, hadn't exactly been a shining moment for either one of them. Dazai in the hospital, in pain; Chuuya fatigued from what was likely worry. Both on edge. Chuuya had been honest with him; open. More open than either of them had ever been with one another, if he was honest with himself. Which he never was. And his response still sat within the back of Dazai's mind like a lead weight.

    Get out.

    Probably could have worded that better. Handled that better. Said something - literally anything - else. It was just...too much at that exact moment.

    Dazai pressed his back against yet another wall - taking a deep breath to even out his breathing. He had already killed four just trying to get in. Maybe it was a bit better guarded then he thought it would be. The building was one of two - Alexei in one, and Chuuya likely in the other. But which to choose? Every part of him wanted to go for Alexei first. Give him a nice little taste on why it was a mistake to cross Dazai. A mistake to lay a finger on Chuuya.

    However, this wasn't simply payback. This was a rescue.

    And if he went for Chuuya, Alexei would come.
    How could he not?
    He was a showman.

    There would be no way he'd allow Dazai to slip away without delivering a dramatic speech; about how he was right. On how Dazai was but a pawn in his whatever-whatever-whatever. Maybe he grew a sinister mustache since they had seen one another last, so he could twirl it just for the occasion.

    Dazai was looking forward to killing him.

    It wouldn't be a fast process.
    Or maybe it would.
    He hadn't decided yet.
    Only thing he knew, was that it would hurt.

    Blood already dotted Dazai's attire. Droplets soaking into his sleeves, staining his face. One of the kills earlier had gotten a bit personal. A knife in play when a gun was lost from his grasp. He'd likely need to burn these clothes after this. No amount of anything would be able to salvage them.

    A shame.

    Dazai reloaded his weapon in a practiced motion, turning the corner quickly and taking out one, no two more. Which...was too easy. Dazai hesitating as he just...listened. Something else was in play. Something else was happening. He crouched down to grab a radio that was half-static - adjusting the dials to try to get a signal. Nothing.

    He put it back down and rose to his feet - hearing a loud crash in the distance.

    He followed it.

    A few locked doors later, a few more bodies piled up, a few more reloads - and there he was.

    Chuuya.

    Corruption tainting his veins.
    Kicked in without any way of knowing Dazai was coming that day.
    And yet he knew; he always knew.

    Chuuya's back was to him when he came into the space. Blood staining the walls. Several black holes sitting in random corners of the room. Dazai came up behind him - slipping his fingers against his neck, before pulling him back against his chest.

    "...I got you Chuuya."
     
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  4. Chuuya Nakahara

    Chuuya Nakahara Bungo Stray Dogs

    Posts:
    445
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Freelance / Criminal
    Location:
    Ark City
    Race:
    Human (Vessel of Arahabaki)
    Age:
    23
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link
    Corruption always felt like he was swimming in tar. It was slow and agonizing, but now, he felt...empty. Hollow. Like he always did. But it felt like a release this time, instead of a suffocating miasma, a poison on his skin.

    This was his choice.

    Blood began to drip down his nose and he coughed as he felt the blood in his mouth. And yet, his smile was as wide as ever, teeth stained with blood and his eyes were as empty as he tore apart the guards. They shot their bullets, screamed for help, but nothing stopped him as he limped their way. The gravitons crackled as he sent them to the guards. Blood had painted the walls, limbs and flesh had fallen, holes in the ceilings and the ground.

    He didn’t know how many he killed, he just knew he was trapped. And he wanted out.

    They wanted things to end—all of it. He laughed.

    Chuuya didn’t hear the door opening, didn’t hear the other screams, as he let out another graviton that swallowed the upper body of a guard. Didn’t hear as he laughed and laughed as he ripped a hole through a wall to make an exit.

    This was who he was and finally, they’d bring ruin—to them all. Arahabaki of the black flame would—

    Chuuya gasped as he felt someone touch his neck. A delicate touch and the feeling of cool skin against him, that familiar tingle…the sensation he always felt when he was pulled back into the light. He blinked as he felt his gravity shift. Someone was there...warm. Saying his name, that he got him.

    Dazai...?

    His limbs gave out as the adrenaline wore off and fatigue came crashing in. The leg that had been injured was burning in pain and as he breathed, his gag reflex kicked in as he spat out stale blood, staining the ground. His head slowly turned in Dazai’s direction.

    Oh, how he wanted to hope that this was Dazai, and yet, a part of him thought of that message Alexei had shown him. Of what had happened between them. Maybe this wasn’t real. Maybe this was all in his head and Alexei was doing another fucking mind manipulation. But he couldn’t copy the sensation of how No Longer Human felt...unless Alexei had more power than he proclaimed to have.

    “...you came?” He asked in a hoarse voice
     
    #4 Chuuya Nakahara, Jan 3, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2020
    Osamu Dazai likes this.
  5. NPC

    NPC

    Posts:
    99
    [​IMG]

    Alexei had to admit—this ability was quite destructive. Once this small experiment was over, Alexei would lead Chuuya towards the government officials were and kill them all in one fell swoop. Such chaos, such power.

    It was poetic for him to have something like that.

    His guards were panicking. They were fearing for their lives as they saw Chuuya on the video feed. However, when Alexei ordered them to go down there to check on the other guards as they hadn’t reported in, they moved. Fear is a powerful motivator.

    And yet, it was when he realized there was no response for his personal guards that he felt...uneasiness. “Report.”

    Silence was met on the radio. “I said report, you bastards!”

    Nothing. There was...something.

    Alexei switched through the cameras—some had been disabled. And not by an electric malfunction, but from something else. And that was when he realized his red herrings hadn’t reported back. He switched the camera to Chuuya.

    Ah, so the prince charming has come to rescue his...lover? Princess? Or dog? Chuuya’s memories were a bit of a mess when it came to Dazai. He made his way to Chuuya’s confinement, seeing his men dead from both bullets and of gravitons.

    He waited for several minutes, letting them have a few moments of peace before he crushed it like bug under his foot. He shot the wall near Dazai’s head.

    “Well, well...I didn’t expect you so early, Dazai. I would have did a proper welcome then.” A cruel smirk graced his lips. He had been hoping it’d take another day for Dazai to find this place, but what can he do?

    He pulled up a detonator. “Don’t be too hasty. You seem smart enough to know what would happen if you shoot me now.”
     
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  6. Osamu Dazai

    Osamu Dazai Bungo Stray Dogs

    Posts:
    325
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Stray Dogs Mafia
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    23
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link
    Content Warning


    Relief.

    That was the feeling that came with seeing Chuuya again.

    There were signs of torture around his body; Dazai knew them well. Not quite the same as the techniques he personally used, but they were there. A leg that had seen better days, and likely had gone unnoticed during Chuuya leaning into his inner demon. It would start to hurt soon. Chuuya's gaze and tone both tired yet unsure. There had been mind-games played on him to the point of him genuinely being unsure if Dazai was actually there.

    Killing Alexei would possibly be the most satisfying thing he had done in years.

    Dazai's hand rose to cup Chuuya's features, a quiet smile on his face, as he carefully ran his thumb over his cheek, "That I did. Sorry about the wait. As I told you before, your ex-Dildo is a real piece of work," a quiet laugh on his lips - yet the tone sounded about as tired as Chuuya's.

    While he hadn't spent the past sixteen days as a captive, they hadn't exactly been spent in a spa either.

    Someone was coming. Footsteps that wanted to sound more important than they were, pounded down the hall. Dazai sighed, wanting just...a few more minutes of peace. While the next part he had been looking forward to for some time - the timing could have used a bit of work.

    Dazai quickly looped an arm around Chuuya and helped him to a half-clean wall to sit by - crouching down in front of him as the footsteps hit the doorway.

    "Let me take care of this."

    He offered a smirk, a wink, and flicked Chuuya's nose, before pushing himself to his feet - while reloading his gun.

    Ah, Alexei. Tragic he hadn't grown an evil mustache. Dazai had been looking forward to that.

    A purposefully badly aimed shot went off near his head, as he pushed himself to his feet.

    The lack of mustache was replaced with a detonator, causing Dazai to roll his eyes, and fire. The shot hit Alexei's hand; detonator clattering to the ground. Dazai calmly walked over and scooped it up - shaking a bit of hand-chunk off of it in the process.

    "Shhhh, he pressed his gun to Alexei's forehead, a smile on his lips, "We get it - you learned how to be a bad guy from a comic book. We're all so proud. So impressed. You did it. You managed play bad so hard," his tone suddenly shifted - something unhinged burning in the back of his eyes, "You pissed off one of the most dangerous people in Ark City. You should be proud! That takes effort," a point annunciated by pressing his gun slightly harder against the 'bad man's' forehead, "And here I was almost trying to play it straight. Try to be a good person," he laughed - it wasn't a happy sound, "And you come along and make me want to shove things under your fingernails and pull out your teeth with a butterknife. I'm...not even looking for information at this point," he leaned his head to the side - holding Alexei's gaze, "I just want to see you hurt."

    Dazai paused - thinking back to Chuuya behind him. He needed...medical attention. Soon. As much as he wanted to torture Alexei to the point of him saying whatever Dazai liked - there were more pressing things at hand.

    "Eh," a shrug, before he quickly dropped the gun from Alexei's forehead, and fired his gun once into each knee - putting the asshole on the ground, "This works too."
     
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  7. Chuuya Nakahara

    Chuuya Nakahara Bungo Stray Dogs

    Posts:
    445
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Freelance / Criminal
    Location:
    Ark City
    Race:
    Human (Vessel of Arahabaki)
    Age:
    23
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link
    Seeing Dazai again, felt...good. Like he had returned from traveling and had returned somewhere he felt safe like he came home. It was familiar, comforting...and yet, Chuuya had a lingering uncertainty. He didn’t know if this was real. Maybe Alexei had gotten into his head and made him think he activated Corruption. Maybe this was all a dream. Maybe he was just lying in that cell and was hoping that Dazai had come for him, that he hadn’t been abandoned and that despite how Chuuya fucked up, Dazai came, he came—

    He was tired.

    A hand cupped his cheek; Chuuya leaned into it as Dazai spoke. A wheezing laugh escaped Chuuya’s lips because...this definitely sounded like Dazai. He doubted Alexei would have let even a projection of Dazai call him an ‘ex-dildo’. “You...definitely got that...right. I want to kill him.”

    One hand already moved to Dazai’s arm, fingers digging into his shoulder as his head leaned on Dazai, just to feel his presence. “...you’re really here,” he whispered, barely having the courage to say it out loud as if this moment would just shatter.

    It did, unfortunately. The sound of footsteps was dull but there. Someone was coming. Dazai lifted him and moved him to a wall, where Chuuya had a clear view of seeing that asshole, but his eyes remained on Dazai, almost afraid that he’d lose him again.

    That response and reaction; winking and flicking his nose was so Dazai, he knew this was real.

    It was a blur afterward. Alexei monologuing, shooting and having a detonator. Dazai then did his own monologuing. A part of him wanted to get up, wanted to fucking beat the shit out of this son of a bitch that manipulated him, lied to him, used him and fucking tortured him...but the pain in his leg made him clench his teeth. Chuuya knew Dazai could take care of this.

    What was the saying back in the mafia? The worst thing about Dazai’s enemies was because they were Dazai’s enemies.

    But then, Alexei looked at him and...no, no. This was how he did it and get into his head as a loud buzzing noise rang through his head. One hand clenched the side of his face, as he hissed. “Get...out. Fucking bastard. I will...make you bite the fucking curb...and gut you...like a pig!” Chuuya tried to move up but pain flared up again, just when he saw Alexei reach behind his back.

    “Dazai!”
     
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  8. NPC

    NPC

    Posts:
    99
    [​IMG]

    The plan was simple: threaten Dazai, get into Chuuya’s head and make him speak those words again. He did it before and he could do it again, and Dazai wouldn’t dare—

    A pain shot through his hand as blood gushed out and a scream let out through his lips as he clenched what was left of his hand. Did he—he fucking did. He fucking shot him in the hand and took the detonator.

    Alexei simply glared at Dazai. He ignored the pain and focused on what he needed to do. The gun to his head was not a surprise and the mockery wasn’t either. Dazai thought so high and mighty of himself that it was repulsive. Alexei wanted to knock Dazai off of his pedestal and bring him to the lowest of low. He wanted him to crawl on his knees and beg.

    It’d be poetic...if Chuuya was the one who killed him, while using Corruption. He fell to the ground as Dazai shot his knees, the pain flaring up. Two could play this game.

    He chuckled at Dazai’s words. “I doubt...you ever were a good person. You just hoped that the person suit you were wearing would fit long enough. But that will never work: we’re all rotten to the fucking core...aren’t we, Chuuya?”

    His eyes narrowed as he whispered in Chuuya’s head to say the words to speak them, as he quickly grabbed a knife from his jacket and swung it to Dazai’s leg.
     
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  9. Osamu Dazai

    Osamu Dazai Bungo Stray Dogs

    Posts:
    325
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Stray Dogs Mafia
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    23
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link
    Content Warning

    It felt good to see the vaguely breathing dildo of Chuuya's, on his knees. Pain pulling at his brow, as blood swelled across the floor. From his hand, from his knees. It was beautiful, and everything Dazai dreamed it would be. Every inch of him wishing that he could just...have a bit more time. Savor this moment further. But there would be more - oh there was always more. People who couldn't quite figure out Dazai. Thought he was simply either a lighthearted fool who was all jokes and no substances - or a sociopath with nothing to back that blank look in the back of his eye. Neither were right really. And that was the idea. Even in his days within the Port Mafia, it almost seemed like a hobby of their enemies. Not take the kid as anything worth note. He knew he wasn't exactly a menacing figure at the time - hell he wasn't one now.

    Just made the punchline all the more fun.

    As expected, Alexei just couldn't let things be. Dazai crouching down to be eye-level with the asshole as he oh-so-hurtfully accursed him of having no heart. Rotten to the core. How poetic. Next he'd say a line roughly like you're not so different, you and I, and Dazai would burst out laughing.

    "You and I? Oh, we're monsters. Chuuya, though, is actually one of the good ones."

    He knew for a fact that even with that literal force of destruction under his partner's skin - he had something that neither Alexei nor himself had: morals. Maybe they were a bit skewed from society's standards. But it was there; a need to do what he felt was right.

    Just another sign that Alexei actually knew jack shit.

    A cry behind them caused Dazai to quickly look behind him at Chuuya. Ah, Alexei had powers. That actually explained quite a bit. The warning caused his attention to snap back to Alexei slightly too late - the knife digging into his leg.

    "Oh a knife! I'm keeping this," his voice slightly warped with pain, as his fingers shot out to grab Alexei's wrist. He didn't know enough to know exactly what he was doing to Chuuya, outside of the fact it needed to stop. With his free hand, he pulled the knife out of his leg, and inserted it in its rightful place.

    Meaning Alexei's throat.

    Dazai was still for a moment - watching him struggle.

    Awkwardly pushing himself to his feet - ignoring the pain in his leg - he rose his gun and fired once. Twice. Twelve more times - emptying his fifteen shot high-capacity clip. Despite knowing it was empty, he tried firing once more, before lowering the gun. Alexei was barely recognizable. More of a red stain than person anymore. All shots aimed at his face.

    He was still for another moment, before he reloaded his gun and turned back towards Chuuya and limped towards him, "Let's get you out of here, buddy."
     
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  10. Chuuya Nakahara

    Chuuya Nakahara Bungo Stray Dogs

    Posts:
    445
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Freelance / Criminal
    Location:
    Ark City
    Race:
    Human (Vessel of Arahabaki)
    Age:
    23
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link
    Chuuya felt like he’d fall unconscious soon—but he remained awake, for Dazai’s sake, because he was sure as hell wouldn’t let himself fall asleep while this motherfucker was still alive. He wanted to see Alexei hurt. To bleed and be in pain because of all the shit he pulled—not just to himself but what else he’s done in the shadows. How many other people did he kill for all this purist bullshit?

    How many more people were tricked into getting what this bastard wanted?

    Dazai was doing awesome work—not that Chuuya would ever say that to his face—but there was a feeling of satisfaction of seeing Alexei on his knees, with a fucked up hand and his fucked up legs. The words were...stupid. He half expected to hear Dazai laugh and mock him but the reply surprised him.

    “You and I? Oh, we’re monsters. Chuuya, though, is actually one of the good ones.”

    ...Did Dazai really think that? That Chuuya—with a chaotic god underneath his skin—was one of the good ones? It was funny...since he never felt like that.

    Chuuya had fallen to the ground, his gaze to Dazai and Alexei, despite the feeling of fatigue washing over him with the sound in his head. What happened next was like seeing a series of slides. A knife was pulled out, blood pooling from Alexei’s neck. Dazai shooting the body repeatedly, reminding Chuuya of that time when they were teens.

    Alexei was now just a stain on the floor. A bit of overkill...but Chuuya would have done the same if he was in better condition. Would have gutted him and broken his jaw too.

    The adrenaline wore off and the fatigue and pain crashed into him like the ocean. He closed his eyes when Dazai made his way to him.

    ***

    When he opened his eyes again, Chuuya squinted. There was a light and he tried to move his arm to cover his face but he felt a numbness having washed over him. There was pain, but he was mostly tired.

    Chuuya’s eyes slowly moved around, to take in his surroundings. It looked like he was in a bathroom...and his arms had bandages. Had his wounds been treated? By who? He moved the leg that Alexei had twisted and he clenched his teeth as he felt it burn. But it was also wrapped up.

    He saw movement at the side of the room he was in. That tan coat and mop of dark hair, holding something.

    Dazai...he was still here. Why?

    Chuuya opened his mouth to ask, but what came out was a different question. “Why...the fuck am I in my bathtub?”
     
    #10 Chuuya Nakahara, Jan 6, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2020
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  11. Osamu Dazai

    Osamu Dazai Bungo Stray Dogs

    Posts:
    325
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Stray Dogs Mafia
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    23
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link
    Bodies only existed in Pandora for two weeks, before disappearing from view. A nice little fun fact when you sometimes found yourself with a pile of corpses. There were five in total; less than he was expecting, but more than normal people would be okay with existing. Most had one or two bullet wounds; then there was Alexei who was now better described as an abstract painting. Maybe - just maybe - he shouldn't have wasted an entire clip on the guy. But also maybe - just maybe - he shouldn't have fucked with Dazai in the first place.

    With a call quickly placed, his cleaner was on the way. Police diverted to another part of town to ignore what exactly had happened. He wasn't in the mood to answer questions; especially with the ever-growing body count in Pandora. It was up to eight, as this point. Lower than he was expecting, honestly. With the call made, he took a seat next to Chuuya - pulling out a roll of bandages to at least stop the bleeding with the hole in his leg. Bastard had actually gotten it in fairly deep - which would make walking back a bit harder than necessary.

    Good thing he had a cab driver in his pocket.

    The ride was silent. The cab smelled of rust - of blood, sweat, gunpowder, and everything else fun in the world. Dazai's eyes remained on Chuuya in the car - a hand gently looped around his wrist, to allow the guy to get some much needed rest.

    Sixteen days was way too long.

    The signs of torture were impossible to miss - even if he wanted to turn a blind eye for whatever reason.

    Dazai pulled him a bit closer.

    They arrived at Chuuya's apartment - Dazai slipping his cabbie a generous amount of money before heading inside. He almost put him in the bed, before hesitating. There were too many open wounds; the thing would be gross in seconds.

    Bathtub it was.

    Dazai carefully set him in the tub, before opening up his medicine cabinet and grabbing what he needed. He shed his coat as he eased himself to the floor; leg hurting like an absolute motherfucker, but he'd get to it later.

    A bit of pain right now felt deserved, if he was honest with himself.
    He had let Chuuya wait far too long.

    The wounds were...many. Dazai taking his time in using his own hacky-level skill to patch the guy up. Wouldn't be the first time he put Chuuya back together, and likely not the last.

    With everything wrapped, stitched, cleaned, or whatever else it needed - Dazai pat Chuuya on the head, before turning his attention back to his leg. That...would need stitches. This was going to suck.

    And it did.

    With wounds taken care of, it was time to clean himself off. Chuuya he had already done while tending his wounds. He was too aware of how the guy looked at the blood on his skin - especially after corruption. Considering everything his partner had gone through, it was just one less thing to bother him when he eventually woke up.

    Dazai allowed the sink's water to run hot as he looked at himself in the mirror. Blood stained his clothes. His face. Dark rings were like bruises under each eye. Fine red lines connected the outer edge of his eyes to the iris. Funny, he didn't really recognize the person staring back to him, yet logically knew it was him.

    He put his coat back on.

    That helped, some.

    He threw water on his face to try to wash away the blood. Watching as the expression on the person in the mirror shifted. Apparently they liked the feeling of warm water. Apparently there was a lot on their mind.

    Grabbing a towel, he started to dry himself off - idly aware of Chuuya stirring in the bathtub next to him. He glanced over with a soft smile at the question, as he finished drying his face.

    "Because someone was too stinky for their bed," he reasoned - setting the towel aside as he started to unwind his bandages to replace them. Both were heavily stained. Normally he would have hesitated with Chuuya next to him, but after everything...he honestly didn't give a fuck a the moment. Dazai was quiet as he finished rewrapping his arms, before he turned to face Chuuya - hands sliding back into his pockets.

    "C'mon. Let's get you comfortable," he carefully lifted Chuuya - not liking how light he felt. A slight wince slipping onto his features from pulling the stitches in his leg. Dazai playing it off with a quiet laugh, as he moved them to Chuuya's bed. Setting him down carefully, he made a point to keep a hand on Chuuya's wrist.

    "For the record, I always hated that guy."
     
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  12. Chuuya Nakahara

    Chuuya Nakahara Bungo Stray Dogs

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    Chuuya chuckled but ended up coughing—throat too dry since he couldn’t remember the last time he’d drunk water. Maybe it was...yesterday? His mind was in a bit of a haze. “You’d be right about that. They didn’t even give me shower privileges. The nerve.” He said in a joking tone, trying to lighten the mood—maybe it was for Dazai. Maybe it was more for himself.

    His eyes drifted to Dazai’s movement, seeing the man taking off his bandages. Chuuya felt like his throat closing up and a painful feeling in his chest. The last time he had seen Dazai without his bandages…

    Chuuya turned away, looking at himself instead, as he had a better awareness of his surroundings now. He wasn’t wearing the clothes he’d been captured in—a small mercy that he’d decided to wear casual the night he met Alexei and that his hat was safely in his apartment.

    He was just in his boxers and a tank-top. Dazai probably stripped him from his clothes to fix him up. Chuuya could definitely see some stitches on one of his arms. Alexei had dug a knife into his arm when Chuuya tried to bite off some of his fingers and steal the keys.

    It was as he clenched his fist at the memory, that Dazai walked towards the tub and lifted him up. Chuuya didn’t say anything—just let Dazai carry him, as one hand clenched the cloth of the mackerel’s shirt. Maybe a bit more tightly than he should have been.

    Any noise that echoed in his head was gone when Dazai placed his hand on his wrist. “Yeah...yeah.” Chuuya waved his free hand dismissively. “You can fucking rub it in later. I just...”

    I don’t want to hear how I fucked up. I don’t want to remember what happened when I was stuck there. I don’t want to remember how...empty I felt.

    How I wanted death in the end.


    Chuuya sighed as he leaned back, eyes darting to the fingers wrapped around his wrist. His heart skipped a beat and he knew Dazai would have felt that. It was soothing...but he knew it wouldn’t last. Even if two weeks had passed, the memory of the hospital was still fresh.

    Dazai saving him was just because Alexei taunted him and because Chuuya had made that bet all those years: be Dazai’s dog for life. Soon enough, Dazai would leave. Maybe they’d see each other again, maybe not. He’d probably be called in for favors. Saving him...was a courtesy.

    He slowly licked his lips as he tried to ignore the ache that was growing in his chest. “...Thank you, Dazai.”
     
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  13. Osamu Dazai

    Osamu Dazai Bungo Stray Dogs

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    He looked small in the bed. Almost like a child. Chuuya already wasn't exactly a large person - but over two weeks of...that, had taken a toll. The slight venom in his words was pretty much welcomed; something familiar - something normal for them. A repeated pattern to say things were okay.

    After all, they weren't.

    Chuuya had told Dazai he loved him, Dazai had brushed it off.
    Chuuya had told him again, Dazai told him to get out.

    Wasn't exactly a win for either one of them.

    The quiet thank you, Dazai caused his grip on his wrist to tighten.

    I'm sorry I made you wait so long.
    I'm sorry this happened.
    I'm sorry I wasn't faster.


    Maybe part of him knew it held a similar note to that of finding Oda's body. After all, both were recently broken before they fell beyond the point of no return. Both were in essentially a fortress.

    Both mattered to Dazai.

    He released his wrist after a moment - moving around the bed to climb up next to his partner. Pressing his back against the headboard, he shed his jacket - before draping it over Chuuya, and putting his arm around him and pulling him against his shoulder.

    "...I've got you, Chuuya," his voice soft - carrying a weight, and saying more than he could really even admit to himself at the moment. Hand moving gently up and down Chuuya's arm, as it remained wrapped around his shoulder.

    After a bit of silence, he pulled out his phone - double checking everything was going smoothly on the clean-up and keep-the-police-away end of things. It was, surprisingly - causing him to nod a bit before tabbing out of his texts to a browser.

    "If you could eat literally anything from anywhere right now, what would it be?" he asked - his tone lighter than before, "Most places deliver around here, so I can remain your pillow until they get here," he smiled - voice falling a bit softer, "So...what am I ordering?" he leaned his chin on top of Chuuya's head as he spoke.
     
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  14. Chuuya Nakahara

    Chuuya Nakahara Bungo Stray Dogs

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    While the grip on his hand made his chest feel heavier by the minute, it was what Dazai did afterward that made him feel as if he swallowed glass. Moving up the bed and putting his coat on him. And then pulling Chuuya over to him; an arm around him and Dazai leaning against him.

    “...I've got you, Chuuya,”

    Fucking hell, this was ever more painful.

    Because it was like them trying to hold on to a lie—nothing was the same anymore. Why did he have to do this? Wasn’t it enough that he saved him, that Chuuya wasn’t in the hands of a fucking psychopathic bastard? Why did he have to say those words when they don’t mean anything?

    Why did fucking Chuuya have to love Dazai? Why couldn’t it have been someone else? Why did the feeling of Dazai’s hand against his arm make him want to both lean closer but also to leave his arms?

    He...he didn’t want this to hurt.

    But he was tired. So he ignored the aching and just leaned into the warmth. This would probably be the last time he could have this. Chuuya should make it count.

    At the question, Chuuya frowned before he looked over at Dazai’s phone. Apparently, they were ordering. He couldn’t even remember what he was being fed. They fed him the first few days, but after he wasn’t cooperating and tried to escape, the meals just became one every so often. Basically, to weaken his resolve and shit. Chuuya was partially surprised Alexei didn’t decide to dissect him in the end. Tinker with his brain.

    Now his brains were gone.

    “I...I don’t know,” he said as Dazai leaned on his head. One of Chuuya’s hands held a firm grip on his own wrist. The words of ‘I hadn’t thought about it’ were left unsaid. “I think I’d like Italian.”
     
    #14 Chuuya Nakahara, Jan 7, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2020
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  15. Osamu Dazai

    Osamu Dazai Bungo Stray Dogs

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    The warm weight against him was a comfort - like someone finally flipping a switch or scratching an itch that had been getting under his skin for let's say...sixteen days. Maybe they hadn't exactly been on speaking terms just before the rogue Dildo unleashed - but that still didn't change the feeling. Even when Chuuya was off...doing whatever he was doing after their last encounter, there was almost...a comfort in knowing he was alright. Maybe not exactly happy, but also not in the hands of whatever the hell Alexei was.

    "A disturbingly large quantity of Italian food, got it," he mused, scrolling through the menu of a place that delivered. He knew Chuuya's tastes well enough, he knew what he'd like from the place. Dazai had actually eaten there a handful of times himself, and it was pretty good. Normally for assorted meetings with his assorted contacts. People seemed more willing to play ball when there was bottomless garlic bread.

    "Alright, ordered. Should be here within the hour. They don't have the best delivery times but...it's worth it," he reasoned aloud - adjusting his shoulder slightly to allow Chuuya to have a more comfortable angle.

    He slid his phone back into his pocket and sighed - enjoying the silence. The comfort. The lack of stress that came from all this bullshit finally being over. In all honesty, he could have fallen asleep right then and there. Dazai hadn't exactly been sleeping long and luxurious nights since Chuuya had disappeared.

    There had been too much work to do.

    "And for the record," he hesitated - eyes locked on nothing in particular across the room, "I could have handled...the past few times we've spoken just a bit better. Love isn't something...I'm used to from people who know me. It's from girls who find me a mystery - a tale to unwind, or a problem to fix. They want to love me, but don't. It's a hollow word. An empty word. It's a broken promise on something casual between two people who hardly know each other. But from you…" another pause, "It...actually means something. It actually holds weight," more silence, "I don't pretend to understand what love means; funny since it's about as popular as death. Saturating the media in songs, commercials, holidays. It's everywhere - like glitter, but worse. And it's...a feeling. Not like hunger, pain. Not something we know. It's abstract. A concept that's undefinable," he pulled Chuuya a bit closer, "I am aware of every second of every hour passing over the past sixteen days. I have...probably committed more fraud, extortion, and other fun crimes in those days in order to get answers than I have within the rest of my time within Pandora. I might...not be someone who has a solid grasp of the concept of love, but I know that having you next to me right now is the first time I've really felt anything at all in the past two weeks," he glanced down at Chuuya - a bit of a smile on his lips.

     
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  16. Chuuya Nakahara

    Chuuya Nakahara Bungo Stray Dogs

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    Chuuya smiled at the comment with Italian food. While he wasn’t that hungry, he couldn’t help but find it funny. He wondered what kind of crab dishes the place had that Dazai would like. Well, even if they don’t eat everything, they could have leftovers.

    He didn’t need to tell Dazai what he wanted; the man knew him well enough, just like he knew Dazai. It was somewhat soothing—to not need to think about some stuff. Though as they wait, the thoughts in one’s head would be what he had till dinner arrived.

    He shivered a bit, feeling a little cold as he leaned closer to Dazai, letting the warmth engulf him. “We need showers. Or baths. Later...” He didn’t know if Dazai had already washed his hair, but he didn’t think so. It was December now. Christmas was also this month and Valentine’s was in February. It was gonna be rough, but things would be fine. He had his work and the probable apprentice who had a similar ability to him.

    He can get his life back in order.

    But apparently, Dazai wanted to talk. About...them. Chuuya was surprised when his partner started talking since Dazai never wanted to talk about these kinds of things. Was this to make Chuuya feel less shitty? To placate him? Was he apologizing?

    He just listened. Hand clenching a bit, pulling the coat a bit tighter against him. He could understand what Dazai was trying to tell him; that love wasn’t something he understood and the majority of times the word was used when women tried to sleep with him.

    There are lots of kinds of love in the world. The Agency cared about Dazai, Oda cared about Dazai, the new partner Dazai had cared about him. Chuuya did too—it’s just the love he felt became romantic in the end. When it was all physical at first, it turned into something more.

    When Dazai pulled him closer, Chuuya felt his heart skip a beat. He knew it was stupid to hope, he knew he shouldn’t...but the fact that Dazai was aware of him missing and that he’d done all that and that being with him felt more.

    It was like Dazai was saying ‘I love you’ but in his own way. Chuuya wanted to hope that he did mean it.

    He couldn’t help himself from trembling, couldn’t help the fact that his shoulders shook. Chuuya felt like he wanted to scream and let out the tears he’s been keeping at bay. He took a shaky breath as he wrapped his arms around Dazai’s chest, head leaning against him. His grip was tight as if he’d lose Dazai.

    “You...you know how I feel for you. It hasn’t changed. But I’m...I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Dazai. I didn’t think you’d have come for me.” He didn’t deserve this. He was willing to die when Dazai was willing to love and Chuuya felt guilty about wanting death in the end.
     
    #16 Chuuya Nakahara, Jan 9, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020 at 9:26 AM
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  17. Osamu Dazai

    Osamu Dazai Bungo Stray Dogs

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    He had known for awhile. An idle itch in the back of his mind - something he had been ignoring by design. Dazai knew how he was, knew how the world saw him and how the word 'permanent' and him had a complicated relationship. How he was prone to disappearing for days and weeks at a time without word. How sometimes that enthusiasm for the end called a bit harder than normal. How his emotions - his connection to the world of the living - didn't work like everyone else's. How he didn't function like everyone else.

    It wasn't something he spoke of often, but he knew it was there. His mind was broken, and had been as long as he could remember. Normal people felt something when they killed someone. Normal people didn't go days, weeks, months while feeling like an easily snapped string tied to a pile of meat that went through the motions. Normal people weren't like him.

    So his feelings on the matter - on Chuuya - never were really part of the equation; mostly because he didn't think they mattered, nor was he really sure of them himself.

    And here they were.

    Chuuya shook under his touch, grip on Dazai growing tighter as he leaned into him. A quiet smile on his lips as he gently kissed the top of Chuuya's head.

    "Pretty sure I should be the one apologizing," his voice quiet, "Not coming for you wasn't an option. After all, you came for me," mind slipping back to the last thing he remembered back home, with a smile.

    After a pause, he pulled back a bit and laughed, "And you weren't kidding about needing a bath. Wow. You are...potent. Musky. Tangy," he stuck out his tongue, and made a face.
     
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  18. Chuuya Nakahara

    Chuuya Nakahara Bungo Stray Dogs

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    Chuuya’s apology was for both of them, even if Dazai didn’t know it. He had wanted death when he called upon Corruption—wanted to die on his terms and say ‘fuck you’ to Alexei. He was prepared to never wake up, for there to be blood and death and destroy everything and takedown Alexei with him.

    But Dazai came. It just felt...stupid to let Alexei’s words affect him when it’s also more than likely, Alexei had influenced him to think that way about Dazai.

    Chuuya sighed softly, nose brushing against Dazai’s chest. “Always, waste of bandages.” God, this felt...good. Good that he felt the same for him, but mostly that what they had wasn’t ruined. That Dazai and Chuuya could still be themselves.

    At Dazai’s laughing and his comment on bath, Chuuya playfully shoved him—not too hard cause they were both injured. “Shut up, mackerel.” He replied before his hand moved up and stroked Dazai’s hair.

    With a smile, he gently disentangled himself from Dazai, scooting over to the edge of the bed. “Since we’re waiting for the food, we could take a bath. Or a shower. I have both in the bathrooms, so we could use one each?”
     
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  19. Osamu Dazai

    Osamu Dazai Bungo Stray Dogs

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    There was something peaceful about the moment. Something calm after weeks of nothing but chaos. Like a fire alarm with a low battery finally used up its final juice, no longer making an irritating beep every minute. Instead, it was just them. Just a quiet moment with nothing that existed beyond that room; beyond them.

    For once, the void - the emptiness - within him didn't throb. It didn't bother him. In fact, he was barely aware of it.

    He closed his eyes as Chuuya's fingers slipped into his hair and leaned into him. Even with the comment about them both needing a bath, he wouldn't have minded if they both passed out right where they were.

    Chuuya pulled back, causing his eyes to open - a quiet irritated sound slipping through his lips. But...cleaning up was probably a good call for both of them. Even with Dazai having washed the blood mostly off, he could still feel bits he had missed. Some by his hairline. Some under his nails. It never bothered him as much as Chuuya - buuuut it would probably be better to get it off sooner rather than later.

    "Separate bathrooms? Not going to happen," he smiled - stretching his arms over his head with a loud yawn, before rolling his shoulders. Pushing himself to his feet, he casually picked up Chuuya again, and walked them both towards the bathroom connected to Chuuya's bedroom. Setting Chuuya on the closed toilet, he casually started to draw a bath, before glancing over with a wink.
     
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  20. Chuuya Nakahara

    Chuuya Nakahara Bungo Stray Dogs

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    Fingers ran through Dazai’s hair as he leaned into the touch. Chuuya smiled as he looked at him; he looked more at ease, more at peace. Dazai had said that this was the first time in a while that he’d felt anything through all these days. Chuuya wanted to be part of this—the good and the bad. He wanted this to work between them.

    When he pulled back, he snorted at the irritating sound Dazai made. Even though Dazai would rather stay here, Chuuya sure as hell didn’t want to sleep like this. He wanted to wash everything away, everything that had happened in the past sixteen days. Chuuya absently wondered if he’d just pass out afterward, as his system washed out any of the remaining drugs. Though he wouldn’t put it past Alexei having simple made Chuuya think he was drugged when he fucking wasn’t. In all honesty, he would have preferred Q’s ability in the end.

    Chuuya rolled his eyes when Dazai commented on different bathrooms. The redhead suggested that so they could get washed up faster, but if Dazai wanted to wait, then sure—be his guest. Chuuya side-eyed Dazai when he picked him up, almost tempted to punch him, but didn’t in the end. It was faster to do this then try to help Chuuya walk to the fucking bathroom.

    As Dazai started drawing the bath, Chuuya gave Dazai a somewhat questioning look as he winked. “Why do I feel you’re planning something?” Dazai is one of the smartest people he knows and he sure as hell knew that look.

    Once the bath had been drawn, Chuuya asked, “So; me or you?” He had a suspicion of what Dazai was thinking, but he wanted to humor Dazai. See what he wanted to do.
     
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