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Full Circle [M]

Discussion in 'Pandora, Year 1 - 7' started by Sauron, Jun 16, 2018.

  1. Sauron

    Sauron Tolkien Legendarium

    Posts:
    101
    While she moved across the room, pushing aside the curtain to stare up into the stars above, Sauron went in the opposite way, kneeling down before the small, white box -- the room's refrigerator, or so he'd learned the thing was called -- and pulling out the bottle of ale chilling in there. Huh, dwarvish, and his Double had even gone so far as to get himself a couple of proper gasses as well.

    Well, it should not have surprised him, he suppose, sweeping up back onto his feet and grabbing the gasses up from their place atop the mini-fridge. Certainly not the attention to detail, atleast, this was still himself of course, after all, and if he were going to do something, best do it right. He wouldn't be drinking weak mortal barley-water out of a paper cup.

    He lay the glasses on the desk that sat pushed up against the wall, and was pouring out their drinks when the girl spoke up again. "I've been thinking..." The very tone of the words boded ill for him. An unforeseen wrench thrown into his plans. His eyes flickered over to her and he waited, silent, as he listened.

    She wanted to leave. His eyes turned back to the drinks he was pouring, and his face he kept determinedly blank, even if someone were to somehow figure out a way to force his eyes back around. Meanwhile, much as he fought to hold it back, his mind became a desperate whir. Leaving? She couldn't...it had only been a few months, he'd hardly had enough time to...

    With an almost deliberate sound, he lay the bottle down onto the desk, as if attempting to snap himself out of his own thoughts. As he turned back to Jaesa, however, he kept both his tone and his expression as light as ever. "That is, honestly, rather wise, all things considered..." He said as she mentioned that they likely wouldn't see one another again, striding across the room and handing her drink off to her, leaning up against the window himself and lookup up, out towards the sky. "Be careful with that," He added. "I can get drunk off of it..."
     
  2. Jaesa Willsaam

    Jaesa Willsaam Star Wars

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    Occupation:
    Dark Jedi
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    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    24 years old
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    Chaotic Neutral
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    It was something she'd been thinking of for some time. To anyone else, her life in Pandora Town seemed like a fulfilling one. A stable job. Friends. A boyfriend who loved her. Even a student, now, an informal apprentice of her own who relied upon her for training in the Force. What else could she have wanted?

    In truth, she couldn't quite describe to herself what was missing, what it was that made her feel discontent enough to consider leaving. Not Wolfgang, of course; she would ask him to go with her, if she decided it was a move she wanted. But her job had never held any appeal for her, she barely saw Perrin more than once every few weeks now, and having Rey as a student made her feel uncomfortable. Then there was her ex-boss, who had taught her much of what she now knew about the dark side, for over a year, now having left work. Her other teacher, disappeared months ago. In all of those reasons was something that made her feel like there just wasn't enough for her any more. There were things she missed. Excitement. Adventure. Thrills. Direction.

    It would be wise, he said, if they didn't see each other again. She wasn't entirely sure what he meant by that. There were several different meanings behind such an agreement, and she had no idea which was the right one here. "Perhaps," she murmured, taking the drink he offered. It looked like ale, but when she took a small sniff the scent was far stronger than anything she'd drunk before.

    And maybe it really was better if they didn't see each other again. He wasn't the Mairon she remembered, but he brought memories to the forefront of her mind, reminded her of things best left forgotten, and worst of all, he had been in her thoughts far more than he should have been, to the point where a few people had noticed. Perrin, Rey, Wolfgang... They'd all noticed that she'd been more distracted the past few months than was usual.

    Yes, the wisest thing would have been for them to part ways, even if she didn't actually leave the city.

    Her gaze flicked from the glass up to him at his comment, and she smiled slightly. "That would be a sight," she said, faint amusement touching her tone, before she looked down at the glass in her hand again, taking a quick sip. When she swallowed, she coughed around the burning in her throat as it went down. "What the hell is this stuff?"


     
  3. Sauron

    Sauron Tolkien Legendarium

    Posts:
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    He smirked at her commentary, lifting his shoulders in a shrug ash leaned back more fully into the niche where window met wall. It was the sort of teasing expression that sad, "Ah, and wouldn't you like to see me so undone?" He would never have let her see such a moment, a being of such perfect control and order as he? No, it would be weakness. Yet still there was that smirk that rested on his lips as he sipped at his ale, as if some half-joking part of his mind were considering getting properly drunk with her.

    A sharp snort escaped from him as she took down a sip of her own and nearly choked on it. He quickly attempted to cover for it with a sheepish look. "Ale." he said, and then a pause as he considered, "Well...my Lord's children call it such, atleast. I did warn you..."
     
  4. Jaesa Willsaam

    Jaesa Willsaam Star Wars

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    Dark Jedi
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    Force-Sensitive Human
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    She would have been interested in seeing what he was like while drunk. He'd always been in such control of him - though she had always had a faint suspicion that there had been certain... times... when they'd been together, when that control had slipped, just a little - and she couldn't help her curiosity over what a Mairon with no inhibitions would look like. What would he say, and do, if he let his control slip so much under the influence of alcohol? And just how bad of her was it that she really wanted to know?

    "Ale," she repeated dryly, with a snort of her own. She eyed it dubiously for a moment, before taking another sip. Even despite how the first mouthful had gone down, she didn't sip the next any more cautiously. If anything she took a bigger mouthful this time, now she knew what to expect. She wasn't one to back down from a challenge, after all. "Calling this ale is like.. I don't know. Calling whisky water."

    It sent warmth through her limbs down to her fingers and toes, and right up to her head. Already she could tell that he really hadn't been kidding. She would need to be careful with how much she drank if she didn't want to be falling over herself completely drunk. And after last time when he'd had to walk her home, then she'd tripped up the ramp to her ship and then the steps to the deck, she really didn't have any intention of getting drunk again.

    Turning her attention back to the window, leaning against the other side from him, she gazed up at the stars again as she took another swig of the so-called ale, clearing her throat to cover another cough. Even after three mouthfuls, she felt warmer than she had before, and before she'd really realised she was moving, she was unlatching the window and opening it a little. Falling silent, swirling the remaining liquid in the glass, she kept her eyes on the night sky outside, the breeze through the window shifting her dark hair. Did she want to leave, and go up there, if Wolfgang agreed to go with her? What exactly was really keeping her down here, after all?


     
    #24 Jaesa Willsaam, Jun 24, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2018
  5. Sauron

    Sauron Tolkien Legendarium

    Posts:
    101
    "Calling this ale is like.. I don't know. Calling whisky water." She said the words, and yet still drank as deeply -- no, even more so -- as she had before. He quirked a brow at her ,only giving a light shrug. At this rate it would not be long before he did have her singing again. Her eyes stayed locked n the stars above, yet as he knocked back another swig from his own glass, he remained silent. Just watching the girl as she moved to open the window. The wind brushed lightly at her hair as she swirled her drink in it's glass. With a soft sigh (a nice touch, Sauron thought privately) he turned away from her to gaze back outside up towards the sky himself.

    "So there is something out there worth looking at and exploring?" He asked, shifting closer to the girl almost as if he hadn't realized it. He took another deep swig from is glass before continuing on, "I had heard that what is up there is only an illusion cast on the box's ceiling..." He trailed of into silence again. Another moment passed, another sigh, as he turned back towards the girl.

    His hand reached out to brush back a drifting lock of hair, yet even as his fingers skimmed over the curve of her ear, however, he was already drawing back, his gaze averted as he mumbled out quickly, "Ai forgive me! Only is was flying loose you see, and I just....ai..."
     
  6. Jaesa Willsaam

    Jaesa Willsaam Star Wars

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    Dark Jedi
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    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    24 years old
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    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
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    Whether it was because of the admittedly small amount of this strong alcohol he'd given her or simply her own wandering thoughts, she could not help but realise that there was something almost... intimate, about the way they both stood here, against opposite sides of the already rather narrow window, barely more than a foot or so between them, drinks in hand, gazing at the stars. Somehow it felt like he were closer than he had been while sorting out her wound. Too close. She tried not to think about it even as she took another swig of the 'ale'.

    "There is so much up there," she answered, her voice almost breathless with her enthusiasm as she thought about it. It wasn't space like space had been back home, but there were all sorts. Last time she'd gone up there had been with Vader, before he'd become Anakin again. An extracurricular trip away from work, to a planetoid full of dark side secrets. "There are even other planets up there, and..."

    When she felt his fingers gently push back a lock of hair, brushing almost unnoticeably against her ear, her words died on her tongue. Unnoticeably, and yet for all that he'd done it so lightly, she couldn't seem to feel anything but all too familiar electricity against her skin, that sparking sensation that made her just want more. She swallowed, her eyes darting to him just as he drew back, murmuring a quick excuse. So... awkward. So shy. Nothing of how sure of himself he had been back when she remembered him last touching her that way.

    You should go, a little voice told her. But do you really want to? another one seemed to hiss. For a second, there was a confused, almost pained expression on her face before she simply chose to ignore what he'd done, instead tipping back her glass and emptying it. She didn't bother to disguise the coughs this time. Already she could feel it going to her head. It felt like she'd drunk a couple of pints of normal ale.

    "She knew she shouldn't have let him get away with such familiarity. Just as she shouldn't have wanted him to kiss her." For a moment, she thought that was another voice in her mind. But then she realised that it was not, and froze. Shit. This had happened to someone at work earlier that day. A bodiless voice, seemingly narrating his thoughts. That had been something harmless. Funny, even. Not like this.

    Setting her empty glass quickly on the windowsill, Jaesa swallowed, her hands curling into fists as she felt her face growing hot, half from the alcohol and half from what the voice had said. Lies! She had... She had Wolfgang. Lies!! Running her hands through her hair, Jaesa all but backed away from the window, away from him. She didn't look at him, not wanting to see the look on his face. He'd meant nothing with anything he'd done or said. Just a friend. Just the worst choice of friend to make in the world. "That's not-- I should... I should go," she mumbled, turning to leave.


     
    #26 Jaesa Willsaam, Jun 24, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2018
  7. Sauron

    Sauron Tolkien Legendarium

    Posts:
    101
    He expected her reaction, the emotion that flashed across her face just before she downed the last of drink in one go, the confusion and pain that were obvious there as she struggled to fight against the long buried feelings he was stirring up in her. What happened next however...

    Sauron's brows drew together and he blinked, turning away from the girlm his eyes darting around the room. He knew for a fact that there was no one else in here, however, and the voice itself seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. Disembodied and speaking of things it couldn't have...shouldn't have known...

    For once it seemed the expression he wore and the thoughts and emotions going through his mind at that moment were in a truthful agreement as his own momentary confusion lay marked across his face.

    The girl, of course as as open a book as he'd ever seen her her face coloring as he raked up her hands through her hair, backing away from him as though in the next moment he might pounce. She couldn't even bring herself to look at him!

    So it appeared that the voice, wherever it had come from, had spoke the truth...

    She began to mumble something, some sort of denial or explanation,only to give up and turn to go. He could not let that stop her now..

    "Jaesa..." He was pushing himself back upright away from the wall and window, though approaching her carefully, as though she were some wounded animal, "No, you don't need...it's alright, I..."He shook his head, raking a hand back through his own voice before continuing, "I just...what just...what was that?"
     
  8. Jaesa Willsaam

    Jaesa Willsaam Star Wars

    Posts:
    1,393
    Occupation:
    Dark Jedi
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    24 years old
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    Chaotic Neutral
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    At work, the voice that had issued through the training room had been... silly. Telling everyone his thoughts about how something had reminded him of a hilarious dream he'd had the previous night. Everyone had had a good laugh, even him, once they got over just how weird it was. There'd been reports coming through too, of similar things happening throughout the town.

    Why did the voice have to come to her now, and say that?

    The worst part was that Jaesa knew, beneath her desperate conviction that it was a lie, that the voice had spoken the truth. With him so close, her thoughts had wandered to certain memories, and for a moment, as his fingers had brushed so softly against her ear as they pushed back her hair, she had wanted him to kiss her. He'd been close enough to, if he'd wanted. Did he want to...? Would he--

    No. She cut those thoughts off, though she stopped as he spoke, turning around to look at him with humiliation and something that could almost have been faint desire touching her eyes as she looked up at him. Ridiculous. All lies. She had no reason to want--

    "I don't know," she said quickly. "Lies. I don't-- I've got--"

    "She knew her excuses were pointless. Her reaction had spoken of the truth of those words, and she knew it."

    It almost seemed like the voice was smug, tearing out her wrong and corrupt thoughts for him to know like this. She had someone, someone she loved very much. So why was it that she wished Mairon would just draw her into his arms, the way he'd used to? Wrong, wrong, wrong. He wasn't even that Mairon! How could just his face and name make things so unclear and muddied for her? It was worse that she could already feel her head becoming fuzzy from that glass of ale, making it more difficult to talk her way out of this compromising situation. She was too much of a lightweight for that kind of booze, it seemed.

    "I'm sorry. You're a friend. And you wouldn't even want to-- Don't listen to..." With something of an awkwardly forced laugh, she waved a hand at the room, as though her gesture would take in the voice itself. "I really should go." And yet, she hesitated.


     
  9. Sauron

    Sauron Tolkien Legendarium

    Posts:
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    She was stumbling over her own words to deny it even as the voice seemed almost to taunt her with the falsity of everything she said. She wanted him, even as she tried to laugh it off, even as she insisted that he not listen to what he was being told. He didn't have to, though, he could see it so clearly. she was still here, after all, still hesitating even now, after repeating herself again and again that she should leave.

    She had still let him back into her life after all, even after she'd thought she'd gotten away in the first place.

    She belnged at his side, following his orders and working in his interest. And she knew it. She merely had to be reminded of that fact.

    "Jaesa," He had her hand in his and was pulling her back towards himself even as she finished saying that she should leave. His arm wrapped around her waist, his hand cupping her cheak, fingers brushing so lightly over her skin as he turned her face up towards his. "Stay," She was so near, that single word, the only one he said, seemed to brush against her lips before he leaned down to capture them in his own.
     
  10. Jaesa Willsaam

    Jaesa Willsaam Star Wars

    Posts:
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    Occupation:
    Dark Jedi
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    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    24 years old
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link


    A little voice - an internal one, this time - kept pushing for her to leave, to turn around again and just quit the entire situation, to get out before anything went wrong. But there was just something holding her there, her feet not wanting to move, and that feeling of being frozen on the spot only got worse as he so softly spoke her name, taking her hand and pulling her closer.

    Maybe if she hadn't had that drink she would have been in a better frame of mind to shake him off and leave. Maybe if he hadn't been so close while sorting out her wound. But right then, she couldn't move at all except to be drawn closer to him, as though he were a magnet and she simple iron filings. His arm went around her waist, holding her closer, his other hand moving to her cheek, and all she could do was stare at him with wide dark eyes. Words had died on her tongue as surely as her feet had fused to the damn floor.

    Don't do this. Leave. Go back home. But she couldn't do anything, except look up at him. The only sign that she knew she shouldn't have been there in that situation was a stiffness in the way that she stood, her hands curled into fists. When he kissed her, her back stiffened further, and for a moment it seemed like she might regain composure and self-control enough to pull away.

    But standing there, drawn close to him, his lips on hers, her mind was just sent reeling back. All those memories of this very thing happening between them. So many times. His kiss felt the same, tasted the same, transporting her into a darker period of her life. But this wasn't that Mairon. How could he have this same kind of effect on her as that one? How could this one cause that feeling of sparks to run across her skin at his mere touch? She'd thought they were too different. He shouldn't have made her feel this way. Especially not after the things that his other self had done. But she felt as though she had been transported two years ago, as if this room had become the smithy around them.

    For a moment, her stiffness melted away, and she returned the kiss, leaning into it, before she quickly pulled back, breath coming in sharp gasps. She gazed up at him, unable to take her eyes off him. It didn't seem to matter which Mairon he was, he just... drew her eye. Just as he always seemed to draw her thoughts to him. I should never have let him into my life. She swallowed. "This isn't right," she mumbled. It wouldn't have been right even if she had been single. It would never be right, not with who he was, what his other self had done in her past. And yet, despite her murmured protest, she did not move away from him. She couldn't move, not away from him.


     
  11. Sauron

    Sauron Tolkien Legendarium

    Posts:
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    He could feel her, stiff beneath his hold, and at first only growing more so as he kissed her, but in a moment that ended and she melted into it, returning that kiss as though she belonged to him whatever had turned her from her master, from that previous version of himself -- hadn't happened at all. Ever as she pulled herself away, he knew then that he had her. Se wasn't even able to look away from him.

    She mumble some sort of protest, that this was't right. Watever she may have said, however she still stood there, still allowing herself to be held so close to him, She made no move to back away, to free herself from his grasp.

    "No, no..." It was a pained expression he wore, as if he was only just realizing what he had done, "You are..right. You are. This is wrong. This is absolutely wrong." For so many reasons. She didn't even realize how many there were yet. Yet even as he spoke, his hand was tracing lightly down her spine, pulling her closer to him for just an instant.

    Be now he was only playing with her, a mouse cornered by a cat.

    "You should go," He murmured, drawing back from her, letting his fingers skim just beneath her shirt, as though in the heat of the last few moments he'd gotten so tangled up in her, as though it were purely incidental, an accident.
     
  12. Jaesa Willsaam

    Jaesa Willsaam Star Wars

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    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    24 years old
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link


    She didn't even know how she'd hoped he would respond to her protest. Was she relieved that he agreed with her, that the kiss was wrong and that they shouldn't... Or was she disappointed that he wasn't persuading her? She had almost expected him to try and persuade her. Perhaps with how identical the two Mairons looked, she was projecting what she expected of the other one onto this one. This one wouldn't do that; he wouldn't toy with her like that.

    He looked so pained, as though he had really wanted that kiss and wanted more but knew that it was completely wrong. It admittedly puzzled her. His other self had been attracted to her, to some genuine degree, but for reasons that would never have appealed to this one. What about her had drawn this good, warm Mairon? For most of their friendship, she had not even entertained the possibility of him being attracted to her. Had she done something, to lead him on?

    Despite herself, she felt some sudden shock of guilt inside her, at the thought that she might have done something to make him want this, when she was with someone else. But don't you also want this? the little voice whispered in her mind. You can claim otherwise but you can't lie to yourself.

    She tried to convince herself to leave, but her thoughts were left trembling in place when his fingers danced down her spine, and even when he pulled away, she felt them only barely beneath her shirt, skimming against skin, somehow managing to miss all the scars. For a moment, she closed her eyes, keeping them closed just a breath longer than a blink, as she forced herself to remain steady.

    Taking in a breath that shuddered more than she would have liked, she nodded. "It would be for the best. For us both," she agreed, forcing herself to draw away from him. Just a step. Somewhere in that step, her fingers found his, brushing lightly against them in a way that might have been regretful, her eyes lingering on his, as one step back became two, and then three, and then she slowly, hesitantly, turned to leave as though it was the single most hardest thing she'd done.

    And how she hated herself for it.


     
  13. Sauron

    Sauron Tolkien Legendarium

    Posts:
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    Everything in her was fighting against this. She had to force herself away from him. Her breath shuddered too much, her movements away fro him too slow for it to be othweise. Yet he only watched her, wondering how far her resolve wuld last her, how strong she would be.

    Her fingers brushed for a brief moment against his, and the look in her eyes before she turned away spoke too clearly of what she really wanted. But she was doing what was right, what was best. Yes, let her think for the moment that was an option for her.

    A moment passed and then another, she was halfway to the door now, another step and then...

    "Jaesa, wait." He shut his eyes, pressing out a long breath as though he were actually struggling with himself over it. And then he swept of after her. In a few quick strides he was beside her again. "You are already leaving," He murmured, hand reaching out for hers, "We will not see one another again after this..." Once more he was pulling her nearer, letting his hand slip up her arm, over her shoulders and the back of her neck, coming so gently through her hair "Once more can do no more harm?"
     
  14. Jaesa Willsaam

    Jaesa Willsaam Star Wars

    Posts:
    1,393
    Occupation:
    Dark Jedi
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    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    24 years old
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link


    Turning to leave, Jaesa knew that it was the best thing to do. Whatever was going on here didn't matter; she knew it was wrong, far more wrong than befriending even a nicer version of her former master had been. She shouldn't be there, shouldn't want it. Her thoughts strayed to Wolfgang, to her boyfriend who loved and respected her and had been there for her ever since she'd turned up on his doorstep bloodied after what the other version of this man had done to her. He was wonderful. He was what she needed. Someone loving... safe.

    So why did she want Mairon so badly every inch of her felt like she was yearning for him, just because he'd been so close? It made no sense. He was different, wasn't he? He shouldn't have done this to her, unwittingly or otherwise. Something as simple as his face couldn't have had this effect on her. But if she tried to think too hard about it, her head felt like it was swimming, feeling too stuffed with wool from that overly strong ale he had given her that her thoughts just didn't come as easily as they should have.

    Jaesa was almost at the door when she heard his voice, and though she kept her resolve steady and didn't look his way, she heard him coming closer, felt that knot clench in her middle as he took her hand, turning her and pulling her closer. So close. So inappropriately, intimately, terribly, alluringly close. As his fingers moved across her skin, the sparks followed in their wake, and she had to steady her breath as it caught in her throat. She was leaving, he pointed out. Her leaving justified one more kiss. One more kiss would do no harm because they wouldn't see each other again.

    With her mind swimming and the sight of him so close feeling like it was clogging her thoughts further, she didn't really pick up on what should have been alarm bells alerting her to something off about this entire situation. This nicer Mairon should surely never have justified and attempted to persuade her into actions like a kiss when he knew she had a partner, because he wouldn't have toyed with her this way. Surely. It should have been an alarm bell. If she hadn't drunk that ale, it would have been ringing in her head. Maybe it still was, but so muted and muffled that she barely even noticed. All she could notice in that moment was him.

    "Just... once." The words came out in a soft whisper before she even realised she'd opened her mouth. She would leave, after. She would go back to her ship, and she would see Wolfgang in the morning after his shift at the casino. She didn't think beyond that. She didnt think about what might happen then. She couldn't think at all. Instead, she lifted herself up onto her toes, pressing her lips softly against Mairon's in a kiss that was almost sweet and innocent, as though that made it better and less terrible of her than overt passion. She let it linger only for a couple of seconds before she started to pull away again. Just the once.


     
  15. Sauron

    Sauron Tolkien Legendarium

    Posts:
    101
    A few words, a light touch, and she was already turning back to him, the excuses he readily supplied enough for her to justify it to herself and allow it to happen. Her kiss was soft and light and innocent, everything he knew she was not, as though if she left it there t would be fine. As though nothing had happened at all.

    As she pulled back he sighed, A sad sort of smile touching his lips, his expression almost philosophical, as though e were attempting to make the best of what surely must have been goodbye. And in a way, it was at that. His eyes roved over her as he took a step back, looking as though he were about to let her go.

    And then he spoke.

    "I wonder at it," He murmured, "You are so ready to consider yourself unfaithful to another, when it is my mark you wear..."
     
  16. Jaesa Willsaam

    Jaesa Willsaam Star Wars

    Posts:
    1,393
    Occupation:
    Dark Jedi
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    24 years old
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link


    She pulled away, letting herself drop back to her heels, keeping her lips pressed together and drawing back a step. Once more can do no harm, he'd said, and she'd given him one more. But of course that could do harm. She'd willingly kissed another, when she had Wolfgang. What the hell was wrong with her? She hated herself for it, and she was ready to leave. To just cut things off before any more damage was done.

    But then he spoke, and she was halfway through turning away from him, reaching for the door, when his words seemed to slam home in her mind.

    "...it is my mark you wear..."

    The new Mairon would not have even recognised the sigil at her waist even had he seen it, she was sure. That was not his mark, it was the mark of the darker one, the one who had taken her two years ago, the one she had fallen so stupidly in love with, who had ruled her life and her heart. She'd given everything to him, once, and once, she had been proud of the brand carved into her flesh. Two years had passed but the mark had never faded, scarred against her skin for the rest of her life, forever proclaiming a one-time ownership held over her.

    Even without the question of how this Mairon knew about the brand in the first place, only that one would have known what it meant. For a moment, she was confused, so confused, and that confusion only deepened when she reached out with the Force, still half-turned away from him.

    Immediately, she brushed against his nature, and immediately, she recoiled from it again. Not out of a feeling of fear, but rather a refusal to be drawn in by touching it. She recognised it only too well. That void of darkness and malevolence, so much worse than anything she had ever encountered in Pandora before or after. There was no mistaking it. This was not the Mairon she'd thought he was. But there had been a point where he had been. How could this be possible?

    The answer hit her almost straight away. The doppelganger phenomenon. There really had been a different Mairon in Pandora, and they really had met. But somewhere along the line, the darker one had taken his place. How could he have been sure the double would not interfere? Had he perhaps murdered his own doppelganger, to ensure his time with Jaesa would be uninterrupted? That he would be free to continue his plans that had no doubt all been leading up to the here and the now. This had all been his game.

    Only a few moments had passed since he'd spoken, before she whirled on the spot, feeling rage build up inside her, hotter and more volatile than any she had felt in so long. It burned inside her, fury and hatred and even now, there was another emotion there, white-hot and scorching through her veins. Desire, battling with that rage.

    He'd been playing her. Toying with her. And somehow, somehow he knew about the mark she was forever ruined with.

    Jaesa wasn't really sure just how it happened. She hadn't intended for it to happen. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so many emotions, so many passions, coursing through her. Anger, hate, self-loathing, lust, pain. They all seemed to explode from her in a powerful burst of the Force that all but shook the window in its frame and violently pushed him against the nearest wall.

    She was there, a moment later, closing all space between them, her hand moving to grip a fistful of his tunic. Deep down, she knew there was no point lashing out at him. She couldn't do anything to him, couldn't kill him. But she needed to lash out. She needed some feeling of control. She needed to feel like she was taking control, to avoid thinking of that white-hot emotion in her blood that didn't bear consideration, that treacherous feeling of hunger and desire that wanted her to relinquish control to him all over again.

    "How do you know about that?" she said, voice almost a growl. She had not shown him that mark, not even foolishly believing him to be the doppelganger. There were so many other questions in her mind. How long had he been pretending? How did he know about her at all to single her out? This was not the same Mairon. That one had been gone for two years.


     
    #36 Jaesa Willsaam, Jun 29, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2018
  17. Sauron

    Sauron Tolkien Legendarium

    Posts:
    101
    It happeed in an instant, a sudden burst of...energy, emotion, force...something that blew him back, knocking him flat against the nearest wall before he could even realize what was happening and react. The world flashed a blinding white before his eyes, and he sank down, boneless to the ground. Even as he heard her storming back to him, the his vision was spotting black, every nerve and bone throbbing with the impact.

    And Sauron only smirked.

    Grabbing a fistfull of his tunic, she'd dragged him back up, nearly growling at him to tell her how she knew about that mark. Her eyes were blazing with fury and passion and a thousand other things at once. And in response, Sauron gave a low laugh. She knew he could do nothing to him. Even now it was only because he allowed for it that she even held him so. In a moment he could have slipped away, as etheral as smoke and shadow.

    "Did he often let you get away with this?" Sauron returned, his voice a low purr as he allowed his eyes to rove over what they could of her held in his current position, brushing aside her own question as though it were nothing. "Let you believe that even for a few moments, you were the one in power?" He canted his head to the side, leaning back as far as he was able. "Or perhaps he did not? No, it is rare that I would ever do so willingly, although..." A thoughtful sound hummed past his lips as he reached up, carelessly flicking another loose piece of her hair aside as he skimmed his fingers just lightly along the crook of her neck. "Is that what you crave Jaesa? The control? To have me at your mercy? I could let you have that, if that is what you want." She'd brought him so close that it was nothing at all to close that space, and just brush his lips against hers. Slowly, teasingly, seeming to promise something more even as he began to draw back again. "I might even enjoy it..."
     
  18. Jaesa Willsaam

    Jaesa Willsaam Star Wars

    Posts:
    1,393
    Occupation:
    Dark Jedi
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    24 years old
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link


    The fury burning at her core made her feel almost sick as much as it energised her, gave her that feeling of power. It was hard not to feel satisfaction as he slammed against the wall and slid bonelessly down it to the floor, no doubt the same kind of satisfaction that she would sense from him when he used to cut into her during their moments of intimacy. Almost immediately she felt something in her middle, like a caustic, violent kind of need.

    Don't think about that, woman!

    He ignored her question, merely ruminating on whether his other self had ever let her do such things. She grit her teeth, unable to prevent the way her eyes drifted closed at his touch. Her fist tightened around his tunic, against his throat. How did he know anything of his that other self? The last one hadn't. He'd been so oblivious about all of it, but this one knew, even about the brand. It seemed to her like that sigil burned in her flesh against her bloodied shirt, as though freshly carved.

    Anything she might have retorted - perhaps about those few times her former Master had given her some kind of power over him during nights together; that very first night sprang immediately to mind - fizzled out of her mind when he leaned forward just slightly, lips brushing alluringly, softly and teasingly against hers before pulling away again. The hand clutching his tunic trembled, and she didn't even blink with the force of the stare that she couldn't drag away from him.

    She thought nothing could burn hotter than her hate, whether that be hate for him or herself she couldn't work out, but she was wrong. For a moment that seemed to hang between them like eternity, she couldn't pull her eyes from him, and it seemed like anyone's guess whether she might just try and cause whatever damage she could right there. She wanted to. She wanted to hurt him like he'd hurt her, even though she knew it was wrong to want that as much as she wanted him. Because that lust for pain was her talking, the monster that he had created two years ago, that she had fought back for so long.

    Jaesa couldn't speak. She wanted to. She wanted to ask him how he knew about her, who could have told him about her. Why she couldn't seem to be free of him, either physically or in her head. But words wouldn't come. That moment that hung between them, she trembled, unable to even begin sorting through all the emotions and passions that raged through her veins. It felt too much like when she had first surrendered to the dark side in a failed attempt to escape him. And after that, when he'd... when they'd...

    Again, she wasn't really aware of moving. One moment she was staring at him, fist at his tunic, and then the next she'd closed the space that had opened up between them, leaning up to press her lips to his in a kiss that was as far from the sweet and innocent one she'd given him before as she could get.


     
  19. Sauron

    Sauron Tolkien Legendarium

    Posts:
    101
    For that moment that hung between them, she stared at him with such an intensity that even Sauron could not tell if what was fueling it was her desire for him or her desire to see him suffering. her grip against his tunic tightened that much more and he could feel her fist pressing up harder against his throat.
    she stood there, just staring at him, trembling as though she were trying to fight back a storm from within her.

    And then in the next moment, the space between them was gone, and her lips were on his. What she given him before had been nothing, not to this, the hunger and desire and need that he could so nearly taste. He felt is own thoughts flicker at it, his legs suddenly going weak beneath him (already she'd held him in a precarious position) and bringing him to his knees. Mentally he shook himself. No, he was better than this, she was a mortal. Such a small and insignificant creature, and to feel even the basest of desires for her...

    He was the one in control, and she might have been an amusing thing to play with, to toy with her like this might have gotten him what he truely wanted, but she was merely...human, so much like the others. He was better than this.

    Yet, as much as he expected it, the shear strength of her desire for him was...intoxicating. As he snaked his arms around her waist, hands slipping beneath her shirt and tracing out so gingerly the lines of the scars he felt there, pulling her down closer to him, he had to admit that much. And he found himself unable to resist a final nip at her lips as that kiss finally ended. Head spinning --only because this form he wore had gone too long without air, he assured himself -- he slipped down, beginning to draw his lips along the line of her jaw.

    "You shouldn't be doing this," He teased her, "You shouldn't be wanting this. That is what you are telling yourself, yes? It's wrong, and I hurt you. Oh, I hurt you so terribly, didn't I pet?." Again that dark laugh of his bubbled up again, edging his words, "What do you want to do about it?"
     
  20. Jaesa Willsaam

    Jaesa Willsaam Star Wars

    Posts:
    1,393
    Occupation:
    Dark Jedi
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    24 years old
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link


    There was a voice yelling itself hoarse at her in her mind, screaming about how this was all wrong, even more wrong now she knew the truth behind which Mairon he was, but with all the anger and self-loathing and hate and lust that raged inside her it was a steel door that slammed shut on that rational part of her, silencing it to a mere muffle.

    Even more than before, the kiss was like a torrent of memories and emotions that she remembered feelings, assaulting her senses. Her hand tightened around that fistful of tunic but somewhere along the line, it had become less of a threatening gesture and more a way to hold herself steady as he returned the kiss with as much hunger and need as she could feel roaring inside her for him. It was just like how things had been two years ago. Too much like it. She tried to pull back, but it felt like she was stuck against him, his arms around her waist a steel loop locking her in, that part of her didn't want to release her. Whatever drove the door that had muted her rational protests wouldn't let her move back either.

    A shudder ran down her spine at his lips along her jaw, and her eyes remained closed, her lips pressing together quickly to stop the sigh that almost hissed forth. Then she heard what he was saying, and those eyes snapped open again. You shouldn't be doing this. He'd never spoken such words of truth. She shouldn't. There was a man who loved her, working at the casino that very night, looking forward to seeing her in the morning. He thought the world of her, and she of him, but here she was, having kissed the worst thing in the world, held tightly in his arms as his fingers almost tenderly explored the scars his other self had made. Why? Why was she here?

    Because there's something you crave, that he gives you, that your loving boyfriend never has. The voice was different from the one that had been screaming at her to stop. Quieter, more malicious, more of a hiss than a voice. Hearing it in her thoughts made her anger rise as much as Mairon's teasing, taunting remark about what she would do about him having hurt her.

    Her hand finally moved, releasing the fistful of tunic, rising up along his throat and jaw before her fingers and thumb held his jaw tight between them. In her belly she felt a thrill, never having been so forceful with him even that time he had given her a knife to use on him. That rage still bubbled up inside her, with everything else that she could hardly control. She'd learned to control her emotions, but this was something else.

    Using her grip on his face to pull him down, she kissed him again, hard, ending it with a nip of her own at his lip, before she used pressure against her thumb to turn his face to the side, moving to trail hungry, needy kisses along his own jaw and down to his throat. "What do you want me to do about it?" she murmured before she could even stop herself, her voice far huskier than she would have liked. The fury and the desire she felt hung heavily from every word, and as she let her fingers drift away from his jaw, purple lightning sparked from her fingertips, a sure sign of her difficulty controlling herself, dancing between them.