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Private I See a Darkness

Discussion in 'Residences' started by Johnny Blaze, Feb 24, 2018.

  1. Johnny Blaze

    Johnny Blaze Marvel Universe

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    Feburary 5th-6th/Year7
    @Berelain sur Paendrag

    After the bike ride with Lift, which had done wonders for clearing his anxiety, he’d said his goodbyes to the stormlight girl, promising to send her a message when he had met with Nynaeve. Put his bike and Lift’s bike away…. Changed Lift’s oil even though it didn’t need any change. Cleaned up random things on his workbench…… sat staring at his hands for like at least five minutes….

    Then he looked back up at his own damn house, and felt a raise of anxiety flood through his system, desperately looking around his garage to see if he could do anything to delay the shit storm he was about to walk into. Anything at all: and there was absolutely nothing. The lack of garage work seemed to mock him where he sat.

    Johnny let out a rattling sigh, rubbing his hands across his jeans, before he stood up and started walking towards the back door, opening it with a shaking hand and letting himself into the kitchen….

    ”Berelain….” He called softly, covered in large part by a slight cough, kicking off his boots into the little corner by the door that delegated shoes. Mostly his shoes. Berelain kept her heels in boxes, organized in the closet. Strange, as while her shoes and clothes were always organized, she seemed to forget necessary concepts like dishes shouldn’t just be sitting in the living room forever… they eventually should at least make it to the sink.

    Girl had the oddest sense of cleaning and upkeep he’d ever witnessed. Even as he walked through the living room and gazed at least five different coffee mugs Berelain had used and left on the coffee table for that week.

    He stopped, stared at said mugs, and the urge to do something or anything before walking into the spare room that had Berelain’s desk in it and having this conversation took over. Those mugs won’t clean themselves you know, and certainly they’ll still be out here forever if you just leave them to be picked up by Berelain….

    He changed course, picking up the mugs by their handles: three in one hand, two in the other: walking into the kitchen and placing them in the sink. But that was not good enough no….. he would also clean them and the plate that was sitting in there from this morning’s breakfast. Ignoring the dishwasher next to him that he could use instead, he filled up the sink with soapy water and went to washing.

    And so the procrastinator washed the dishes. Rather than face down his absolutely beautiful girlfriend and tell her he’d be lying to her about going to get help. He argued with himself that this was self-preservation. What man wanted to be gutted alive? Sure as shit not him…..
     
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  2. Berelain sur Paendrag

    Berelain sur Paendrag The Wheel of Time

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    Between jobs :c
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    Berelain had actually gone out before the teenage girl had come to visit. Heading out to the supermarket to stock up the kitchen, she'd missed the entire commotion that had happened between Johnny and Lift and Johnny's particular... companion. If she'd been in the house she would have heard all of Johnny's shouting, and would have gone to investigate, so it was probably a good thing that she'd slipped out to do some shopping.

    Returning to the house - their house; she'd moved in officially some weeks ago despite still having time on her tenancy agreement on the penthouse, because she'd wanted to stay close to Johnny to help with his illness - she heard him washing up in the kitchen. Noticing all the mugs she forgot to move were gone, she felt a twinge of guilt for him cleaning up after her. She was a lot better with cleaning up than she'd been when she'd first arrived in Pandora, but... she still slipped up, especially when she had paid for a cleaner for her penthouse for the past few months.

    After briefly putting down the shopping so that she could put her thick winter coat on the hook and slip off her shoes before she put them upstairs later, Berelain moved into the kitchen and lifted the multitude of heavy bags onto the counter (she might have been slim, but she was stronger than she looked). Rather than put things away just yet, she took a couple of steps over to where Johnny was standing at the sink with his arms elbow deep in soapy water, and slipped her arms around him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and then peering at him in an almost critical way.

    He looked terrible. More so than he normally did these days. He'd told her he was getting help, but perhaps it took longer than she had expected, because she hadn't seen any improvement at all. He'd told her not to worry, but it was difficult, especially when she could tell he'd been edgy about something ever since she'd realised that he was sicker than if he'd just had the flu.

    "How was the bike ride?" she asked, pulling away from him so that she could start putting away all the food she'd picked up.


     
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  3. Johnny Blaze

    Johnny Blaze Marvel Universe

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    Johnny heard her walk in, feeling his anxiety only increase. So she was out of the house during…. Zarathos’ nonsense. That was both good and bad. Good because she wouldn’t need to know about Lift’s involvement as a tryout for Ghost Rider-ship. On another he’d have to come up with something to explain his change of heart when it came to healing.

    Why did this shit always have to be damn complicated?!

    ”Welcome back…” Johnny greeted as he washed the mugs, sighing slightly as she snuck a kiss on his cheek, closing his eyes as he felt her stare at him. Yah well…. This was a conversation that would have probably happened eventually. He knew he looked like shit, and especially since Nynaeve was from Berelain’s neck of the universe she’d probably eventually figure out on her own that he wasn’t taking that special magical healing remedy.

    He also knew that he hadn’t been the best boyfriend…. Or even roommate lately for that matter. He coughed during the night so much that he often just left the room and went to sleep on the couch or the spare room. If he could even sleep. He’d been jumpy, on edge, and in his effort to stay busy he hadn’t exactly been spending the most time with her.

    So just another reason why she didn’t deserve this little reveal of his.

    ”It was…. Eventful.” He stated, quietly unstopping the sink as he moved on to dry off the mugs. Something to do with his hands, a nervous habit, and he also didn’t have to look at her. ”Yah know: with Lift around even a simple bike ride can get crazy.” In this case crazy entailed Lift turning into the Ghost Rider for five minutes too long for Johnny’s comfort.

    ”She’s almost been killed twice now that she’s back in that asshole’s care.” He muttered, knowing he told Berelain about the mercenary that had decided to foster Lift. Hence why the kid spent Christmas with them, then up and left when she decided she was ready to forgive him. ”So…. that’s a thing.”

    He didn’t like Reyes. He didn’t think Lift should stay around a mass murderer like that, not until the guy started changing. But he also had to respect that Lift would do what she wanted. She wanted to bury the hatchet and keep hanging around the guy? That was her choice sad enough.

    Nothing he could do about it.

    Talking about Lift had meant the mugs were washed, dried, and back in their proper place in the cabinet. It also meant the groceries were put away on Berelain’s end. That left the moment of truth….

    ”Let’s go in the living room…….” He stated, not quite looking at her eyes. A sign of a Johnny Blaze who had bad news and would much rather run away and hide under the house than tell her. ”I have something I need to talk to you about.”
     
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  4. Berelain sur Paendrag

    Berelain sur Paendrag The Wheel of Time

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    Female
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    Between jobs :c
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    Human
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    She glanced Johnny's way when he mentioned that girl almost dying twice since she'd left after Christmas. Berelain still considered it awfully ungrateful that she'd disappeared after taking a good chunk of Johnny's generosity, though a part of Berelain couldn't help but empathise with the child's disdain of being stuck in one place. For all that she'd grown up in a palace, Berelain had been a flighty child, quite often hiding in the gardens at the top of trees, giggling, to avoid the guards. At least until her parents had died and all their responsibilities had come piling on top of her.

    "I still don't know why you don't call the Watch on him," she murmured disapprovingly, as she moved to put a bag of pasta in the cupboard. "Especially if he's endangering a young girl." Not that it was any of her business. But still, wouldn't it just be better if the man was arrested, if he'd done the things Johnny had mentioned? Then that child could be taken out of the care of unfit hands and sent to the orphanage where some decent parental figures could take her... and send her to school, because that girl sure did need some education.

    Once everything was put away, she was about to ask Johnny if he wanted a cup of tea when he suggested that they go into the lounge. At his following words, and the way that he avoided her eyes as though he knew full well she wouldn't like whatever he was about to say, Berelain's eyes narrowed as she regarded him, her expression full of suspicion, puzzlement and concern.

    Dismissing her original intention of making tea, Berelain frowned, and then swept into the lounge, sitting on the sofa and arranging her red skirts over her knees, eyeing him. "What is it?" she asked. And how much am I not going to like whatever it is? she avoided saying. The main question in her mind was... was this something to do with his health? Or perhaps... something to do with them? Maybe he'd finally had enough of her leaving coffee mugs on the table.


     
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  5. Johnny Blaze

    Johnny Blaze Marvel Universe

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    Johnny let out a small sigh as she asked why he didn’t just call the Watch on him. ”Cause trouble mostly…. For you and for me. Mercenary like him with powers and such would just end up escaping them in the long run. Then he’d be mighty pissed off.” As much as the Watch would do their best: Reaper had some damn good powers. And besides: ”Not to mention Lift would be just as miffed at me. I know that ain’t much of an excuse but….” He shrugged, deciding to drop Lift and Lift’s problems for now. Now it was time for the shit storm.

    He coughed, once or twice, the air rattling in his throat as he sat down. He sat far on the couch form her that if she got mad he could duck. Not that Berelain would hit him but…. Damn it he wouldn’t blame her for hitting him. He bounced his knee as she sat there, looking elegant and beautiful. And hating that he was about to hurt her for a reason he was never going to be able to explain to her. He couldn’t explain this darkness in his head. He couldn’t…. wouldn’t burden it on her. Not this.

    He took a careful breath, staring down at his hands and noticing them shaking. ”You uh…. Ain’t gonna like it. So all I can promise is that I’m going to make it right, right now, before I get right into it. And that I’m sorry. And that by tomorrow it’ll be square and fixed.” Better to make that promise now, eh? Before she starting potentially hollering up a storm and he wouldn’t be able to get it in sideways.

    He oddly never remembered being this nervous to tell Roxy bad news. But his late wife always had the uncanny ability of knowing when something was wrong and refusing to take no for an answer. Berelain and he weren’t there yet, that was for sure.

    Johnny looked up at her, blue eyes wide and regretful as he just decided to…. Rip the shit off like a Band-Aid. ”I lied to you. I didn’t go see Nynaeve.”

    And he steeled himself, not knowing what to expect. He’d never seen Berelain mad before, never gave her a reason. He’d just given her a pretty good one.
     
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  6. Berelain sur Paendrag

    Berelain sur Paendrag The Wheel of Time

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    Female
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    Between jobs :c
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    Human
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    25
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    Neutral Good
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    link


    Berelain eyed his shaking hands, her eyes lifting to his as he started off with whatever this was about. Straight off the bat, this wasn't looking good. The only thing that she felt somewhat assured about was that this was not some kind of talk to end their relationship.

    Which, really, was a very strange thing for a woman like her to have been worrying about. Not so long ago - in the grand scheme of things - she would have scoffed at the idea of a man being dissatisfied with anything to do with her. Courtship being cut off by anyone other than her? Preposterous. Any sane man would want her, and no sane man would want to drop her.

    At least, that was the attitude she had had before, and that was why it was so strange to her that there had been a little fear coiling up in the pit of her stomach that she had done something to dissatisfy Johnny. At least his words assured that little bit of fear, because this sounded like something he had done wrong rather than her. His words also seemed to rule out the possibility of him having been unfaithful - again, an idea that should have been ridiculous; who would ever cheat on her? - because how could he possibly fix something like that by tomorrow?

    So, needless to say, she was a little puzzled, and it showed on her face as she frowned at him, waiting for him to get to the point. Perplexed brown eyes met apprehensive blue, and then he dropped it on her.

    "I lied to you."

    Just that alone took her a moment to actually register. When was the last time anyone had lied to her? People didn't... lie to her, at least not back home. She was the First of Mayene, and while she was used to political falsehoods and the kinds of trickery that came second nature to those at court, she wasn't sure just Berelain had ever been lied so, rather than the Lady First. She couldn't even flare up at the admission, because by the time she'd registered what he'd actually said, the rest of it slid home.

    He hadn't been to see Nynaeve. He hadn't said anything about "I went to someone else". If he'd opted to avoid the magical route and gone for modern medicine he would have been more like to trust, she wouldn't have been able to fault him. But his wording was quite clear in its implication. He hadn't been to see Nynaeve. He hadn't been to see anyone. He'd just been letting his serious illness take its course, letting it slowly kill him, all while telling her otherwise to her face.

    The feisty flare-up of temper she was going to display over being lied to didn't happen. Instead, worse happened. All emotion fled her face, her expression becoming completely blank as though she were a beautiful statue carved from the most perfect ice. Her eyes could have frozen him to the sofa they sat upon. Her lips pressed together as she regarded him with the same sort of look she would wear when deciding on the fate of a criminal.

    "I see." Even her voice was cold. But despite the lack of any emotion on her face, worry, fear and dread formed like scum floating atop a pool in her stomach. If he hadn't been taking any treatment at all, then just how serious was his condition right now? She was not an expert in medicine by any stretch of the imagination, so she had no idea how to tell beyond what she could see and hear. Well, she was just going to have to make sure he got the treatment he said he had been having. More than that, she would make sure he got Healing, even if she had to metaphorically shove it down his throat. "Why did you lie?" To me?


     
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  7. Johnny Blaze

    Johnny Blaze Marvel Universe

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    It would have been better if she screamed at him. Roxy had screamed, that red hair of hers was no joke, and she had a fiery temper to go along with it. But she got it out, and while it was painful the entire time it was like ripping off a Band-aide levels of pain. Then depending on his sin ranging from not leaving the toilet seat down and letting her fall into it when she sat to going Ghost Rider-ing when he needed to watch the kids: it would evolve to her either kicking him out of the house to sleep outside to sleeping on the couch, to agreeing to watch the kids while she had a ladies night.

    But Berelain’s anger didn’t come out hot and heavy. It came out…. Cold. She stared at him like a judge, and he felt himself already regret telling her, looking away and down at his hands again. Why couldn’t he have just gone to Nynaeve tomorrow on his own?! Maybe he was thinking it was more honorable to come clean in case whatever happened tomorrow didn’t work out. Maybe he was damn tired of lying to his girlfriend. Or maybe he was a selfish asshole who just wanted her there tomorrow when he was healed.

    Regardless: he felt shame curve his shoulders in and constrict his body. His lungs started to get painful at the action, and he tried to force himself to calm down. This was for the best, he told himself. Lying wasn’t necessarily something you could sustain forever, and now that the plan wasn’t to let the disease kill himself she had the right to know her boyfriend wasn’t exactly in one piece.

    She asked ‘why’, which he was sure was just the start of a very hard series of questions to answer. He couldn’t look at her when he answered this one either, feeling the shame of it bear down again on his shoulders. He knew, mentally, there was something wrong with someone content to die. He didn’t want a shrink telling him that, or Berelain to know there was something wrong with him mentally. Or to think it was her or her fault. But he also didn’t know if he could bring himself to tell her the full story about where this darkness came from.

    He’d start slow though: baby steps.

    ”I had this darkness weighing down in my head for a while now.” He told her quietly, still not looking at her, ”I felt like I deserved what was happening to me. Like…. The universe was punishing me for all the things I’ve done wrong.” Specifically because he was here, unable to save his children…. What kind of father couldn’t save his own damn kids?

    ”I didn’t tell you because….. I didn’t want you burdened with what was going on with me.” He told her, still not looking at her. ”And as fucked up as it sounds: I thought…. You’d be better off without me.”

    That was about all he could really explain. He didn’t know if Berelain would be content with that explanation, probably not. But it was all he could really explain.
     
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  8. Berelain sur Paendrag

    Berelain sur Paendrag The Wheel of Time

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    249
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    Female
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    Between jobs :c
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    Human
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    25
    Alignment:
    Neutral Good
    Directory:
    link


    Expecting a heated temper from her was something that normally was not far off the mark with Berelain. She was a feisty young woman, and when she got in a bad mood, her temper burned fast and it burned hot. But that tended to be over things that weren't really serious. Small things. Inconsequential things.

    But with something like this? Her anger went cold. She wasn't even sure of the last time someone had said anything that had made her anger go beyond a flouncy, unpredictable flare of heat. She didn't even know what contributed most to this icy fury; whether it was the fact that he had lied to her for weeks, or if it was because it was his health on the line and he'd just been slowly letting himself die without even the decency of letting her know, of preparing her for it. Or that he'd just been letting himself die in the first place.

    None of it was anything she had expected from Johnny. While it was true that they hadn't actually known each other very long in the grand scheme of things, and that their relationship was very much in the fledgeling state despite them sharing a home permanently, she had thought she knew him well enough. He had always exuded such an air of almost faultless honesty and reliability. The idea of him lying was almost as ridiculous as the idea of anyone lying to her. But it turned out he was, in fact, dishonest, and that made her wonder how well she knew him at all.

    She couldn't help the thought that wormed its way through her mind. Would Kaladin have lied to her like this? He had always had the same kind of honest air that Johnny possessed, only Kaladin had also been rigidly and sternly honourable, to a fault. She couldn't imagine him lying to her. But then, she hadn't been able to imagine Johnny lying to her, either.

    Men.

    Berelain listened to his explanation, her expression still frosty. The revelation that he had lied, that he had been letting himself die, had made walls slam up in front of her feelings, the young woman presenting nothing of her emotions to him in order to protect herself. Underneath the cold exterior, however, she felt pain as he attempted to explain. She struggled to understand where he was coming from, sheltered as her life had been in so many regards, but she understood enough for it to hurt.

    When he admitted that he thought she'd be better off without him, her fingers tightened where they had bunched around her skirts without her even realising it. "That is not your assumption to make," she told him firmly. If he'd decided he'd be better off without her then it would have been his choice, but making the decision that she'd be better off if he died and left her alone? No, that was not his choice at all. "And if that were the case, I would not be here." If she hadn't believed that he was good for her, she wouldn't have even bothered getting involved with him. She was capable enough of making that kind of decision for herself, so much younger than him though she was. That was probably why he'd thought such a stupid thing; he probably thought he was freeing her from the shackles he believed being with an old man had snapped around her ankles.

    She didn't say what was on her mind. That she already loved him dearly, and that she could not bear the idea of losing him at all, let alone in such a way. She had lost Kaladin half a year ago, and she could not lose Johnny too.

    "Nor do you deserve what is happening to you. I don't want to hear you say such a thing again. You could not be more wrong." A flare of heat entered her voice at that, betraying the hurt she felt. "Tomorrow," she continued. "You said you were fixing this tomorrow?" He could fix his health, but she wasn't entirely sure this would be a quick fix.


     
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  9. Johnny Blaze

    Johnny Blaze Marvel Universe

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    There was nothing on her face that suggested any sort of emotion but that cold anger. Something that seeped across the sofa and made him want to shudder and draw away. He just…. Wanted this all to be over. And he hoped some time tomorrow things would be better…. At least he could stop lying to her. The least he could do. How well that would work in the long run, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know where they went from here: trust was a hard thing to build back up. And this was pretty big thing to tear down.

    He just hoped one day she could forgive him in a way he could never quite forgive himself.

    ”….. I know….. it’s fucked up.” He admitted, murmured it while staring down at his hands, defeated. Listening as she insisted that wasn’t his choice to make, honestly the feeling of darkness in his brain had always really been there. But it was only when he got cancer that it seemed to take over every thought and action. It was only when it was clear his actions would have lasting consequences did he shove it aside as unwillingly as he wanted.

    He didn’t tell Berelain the darkness in his head was gone, and she didn’t ask. She merely insisted to never tell her that he deserved anything horrible to him again, saying he was wrong. He nodded, quietly, not quite believing it but honestly Zarathos and Lift had given him very little choice in the matter. And he felt so very helpless even as he sought help.

    But finally, with that flare of heat, he could feel the pain in her voice. He closed his eyes at it, nodding as he responded to the second part of her statement. ”Tomorrow. You can come with me to the clinic. I’ll go after work….I’ll make it right.” She’d probably insist on going anyway. And that was fair.

    He looked up again at her, ”I’m sorry, Berelain…..” For lying, for hurting her. ”I’ll make it right.” He instead repeated, the last line fading out into another coughing fit, grabbing one of the handkerchiefs to cover his mouth. Likely coughing blood into the red-colored cloth.

    He felt like he’d run several miles. He just wanted to pass out on this couch. Sure as shit this kind of thing meant he was couch-bound, right?
     
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  10. Berelain sur Paendrag

    Berelain sur Paendrag The Wheel of Time

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    Female
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    Between jobs :c
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    Human
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    25
    Alignment:
    Neutral Good
    Directory:
    link


    While it wasn't exactly language she would have used, fucked up summed it up well enough, at least from Berelain's point of view. Before Pandora, she'd never really dealt with people on a personal level. Her only friend had been her own Aes Sedai advisor, and she certainly had not dealt with any romantic relationships like this. Her only encounters with romance had really been nothing of the kind. Just manipulation and political courtship that had never gone anywhere because she had had high standards for marriage.

    Which meant that really, this kind of thing was a first for her. She didn't understand how Johnny felt on the subject, and she didn't understand how anyone could come to feel that way. All she understood was that Johnny had lied to her. Even that alone wouldn't have made her so angry if it weren't for his life being on the line. The fact that it was him dying that he'd not seen fit to tell her about, that he was letting himself die, that was what got her. Had he just not cared enough to prepare her for it? He'd just crawl off into some hole somewhere and die without ever telling her, having let her think he was getting himself fixed?

    She wasn't used to feeling this way - this degree of hurt - about someone. Part of her wanted to get up and walk away for some space right then and there, just to gather her thoughts and her feelings on the matter. But despite how much his admission had hurt her, he still needed her. He was still ill; much more so than she had assumed since he had taken no treatment at all. Her icy expression melted somewhat to worry when he started coughing into his handkerchief. She knew why he had opted for red fabric, after all.

    "Tomorrow, then," she said firmly, nodding her head. Although he said he'd go to the clinic, her mind was already whirring with a plan. She was not going to give him any opportunity to wriggle out of it; she was going to take matters into her own hands. When he left for work, she would contact the Aes Sedai at the clinic, and get the woman around to the house before she asked Johnny to come home. He was not going to be getting out of it, and of that, she was determined.

    She said nothing in response to his apology. She couldn't bring herself to accept it, but she also couldn't bring herself to say anything scathing or even to shout at him. He was still dying. Her own need to make herself feel better did not come before his health and comfort when he was in this state, which was why, when she stood up and smoothed down her skirts, she glanced down at him and said, "I shall sleep in the spare room tonight." Although normally she would have kept the bigger and comfier bed for herself and relegated him to somewhere uncomfortable for lying to her, she couldn't do that when he was so much sicker than she had thought he was. Strange that that kind of annoyed her, actually. She wanted to spite him for lying about something so important, and for just not caring, but she couldn't. Not when he was like this.

    Pressing her lips together, she didn't say another word, instead turning and sweeping into the kitchen to make herself coffee with even more regal grace than she normally possessed, a queen leaving the courtroom. As she went, she made a mental note to call the clinic and the Aes Sedai before she went to bed.


     
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  11. Johnny Blaze

    Johnny Blaze Marvel Universe

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    (Super)human
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    46
    Johnny knew he’d hurt her, and he felt bad about it, worse than most anything he’d ever done. And he’d done a lot wrong in his life, so that was saying something. She on the other hand gave no indication of the hurt: cold as a statue she merely nodded and seemed content with the fact that this was getting fixed tomorrow. There was no acknowledgement of the apology, not even a ‘I don’t accept it fuck off please’. Supposed he should have expected it but…. Didn’t make it hurt any less.

    It was only when she stood up, smoothed out her skirts, and glanced down at him saying she was going to sleep in the spare room, did Johnny look up with a frown. ”No you don’t have to….. I mean: I can sleep on the couch-.” And off she marched into the kitchen. Apparently the conversation was over.

    The older man let out a long sigh, getting up himself and making his way out the front door that was situated in the living room, out to the front porch, so that he could avoid walking past her in the kitchen. Anne his dog followed him meekly, the dog sensing the presence of anxiety in the living room and only appearing after the humans stopped their spat.

    Man but that had been…. Exhausting. Emotionally and physically, he sat heavily upon the rocking chair situated out there, leaning forward and rubbing his tired eyes. Yah it would have been easier if she had just…. Hollered at him. Then at least he knew where they stood. Now he wasn’t sure if she would just stay around him until he was healed or what.

    He was tired…. Really tired. Too tired to think without it leading to some kind of high stakes anxiety. He wanted to go back inside and maybe turn in early, but he also couldn’t stand going back in there while Berelain was still there. He leaned back his head and let himself slip off to sleep, Anne curling up almost on top of his socked feet…..
     
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  12. Berelain sur Paendrag

    Berelain sur Paendrag The Wheel of Time

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    Between jobs :c
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    She had fully expected him to try and refuse her, to be a martyr and insist that he could go with the couch for the night. That was why she didn't even answer him. Although her instincts told her to spite him, she just couldn't assign someone as sick as he was to the sofa to sleep, no matter what he'd done. She wasn't even going to give him the chance to argue the matter, and so she just left him there as she went into the kitchen.

    For a while, she sat at the little table in there with her cup of coffee, warming her hands against the china. She had heard Johnny go outside, and at first, she thought nothing of it. He liked to sit out there quite a lot, often times doing so just to think in the fresh air, and she had long stopped thinking of it as strange. It wasn't until over an hour passed and he hadn't come back inside that she started to worry. While it wasn't late, it was cold, and he seemed to have a lot less energy these days, taking naps through the day when he could spare time for them.

    Wondering if perhaps he had taken a walk to clear his head, Berelain decided to just check. So she poked her head out of the front door, expecting to see the porch empty. When her eyes fell on Johnny sleeping against the pillar next to the steps, she frowned, much of her anger at him melting away. Oh, it was still there, but it was pushed away by concern and a kind of frustrated resignation. Whatever he had done, however he had lied, it was difficult to be openly angry with him when he was just so direly ill.

    "Johnny," she said, leaning down and nudging his shoulder. Anne woke up before he did, standing up off his feet and looking up at Berelain with a wagging tail. She spared the dog a little pat on top of the head before she nudged Johnny's shoulder again. "Come inside," she said softly when he stirred. "You can't sleep out here." It was so cold outside. If he slept out here he would just make himself even more ill.


     
    #12 Berelain sur Paendrag, Apr 4, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2018
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  13. Johnny Blaze

    Johnny Blaze Marvel Universe

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    Johnny had slept outside before. Hell: his first month or so on Pandora had been spent outside in the cold. His time as Ghost Rider in his own world had been filled with times when he just slept on the side of the road with his bike, a small fire of brush, and the stars of the desert above him. He never minded it too much as a young thing, but as he got older it started to hurt his back and put an ache of cold into his bones.

    And with this house in Misty Hollow he was a damn shake spoiled for a roof over his head and comfort. That and the cancer in his lungs was a cruel mistress and made him even worse out for it.

    He blinked awake with the nudge on his shoulder, ”Whut?....” He wheezed, suddenly turning to the side and coughing. There was a deep shiver in his bones that made him shake, and for a moment he didn’t know where the hell he was or where he was for that matter.

    Until he recognized that Berelain was out here, and it was starting to get dark. And he needed to get some sleep and get ready for tomorrow: whatever that would bring.

    He nodded blearily, not quite looking in her eyes. Not only because he was worn out to hell and could barely focus anyhow: but because he was too ashamed. He remembered too well even in his half-asleep mind, the conversation they’d had. And that she had every right to be furious with him.

    Johnny got to his feet carefully, shuffling his way inside (and leaning a bit on Berelain as he did so, despite himself). Warily, made his way to the bedroom and collapsed in bed. Passing out on the pillow without even putting the blanket over him. Breath rattling strangely in his sleep.
     
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  14. Berelain sur Paendrag

    Berelain sur Paendrag The Wheel of Time

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    Between jobs :c
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    Human
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    Berelain didn't say anything else to him once he was awake. Just because her anger had melted a little at the sight of him didn't mean that it was gone. In fact, it just meant that she had no good place to put it, because she could hardly lay into him when he was like this, could she? It was frustrating, but it was just how it was. She would just need to make sure he was Healed on the morrow.

    She helped him to the bedroom, and when he practically fell forwards onto the pillow and passed out right there without even putting the covers over him, she stood there and watched him for a moment with a pained expression on her face.

    Yes, she was angry. Furious, in fact. But that didn't mean she wasn't concerned for him. Afraid for him. She... she loved him. Light, it was because she loved him that she was so angry in the first place! That she had allowed herself to feel for a man again, and he had... decided that he was just going to die instead. She pressed her lips together, exhaling through her nose as she shook her head, long dark curls swaying. Leaning down, she managed to work the covers out from beneath Johnny's sleeping form so that she could pull them over him, and then she left the room, switching off the light as she went.

    The next morning, when Johnny had gone off to work - Berelain had been a little more talkative, though her comments had been more stiff than usual - she had wasted no time in contacting the medical centre and asking to speak to the Aes Sedai there. Although the receptionist had told her that the head of the clinic was much too busy for housecalls, Berelain had insisted on being put through to her and speaking to her directly.

    Luckily, the sister had been quick to agree to come around to the house for when Johnny came off work. From the sound of the woman's voice, she was also furious that Johnny had not gone to her. Yes, she said, she would be there and she would make sure the foolish man got fixed.

    That afternoon at the planned time, Nynaeve al'Meara came to the house. "Nynaeve Sedai," Berelain said smoothly, as she invited the woman in with an inclination of her head that was neither too respectful nor not respectful enough. Her dark eyes flickered down to the golden ring on Nynaeve's finger as though double-checking it was there. "Thank you for coming at such short notice." Her voice was formal and polite, perfectly so. Titles might not have meant anything in Pandora, but old habits died hard, and an Aes Sedai was an Aes Sedai. Mayene was ever a friend of the White Tower, and so it wouldn't do to show anything less than pleasant formality and respect to a sister. Even a sister who was much too young to have been able to attain the shawl.

    For her trouble, she received only a cursory glance and a sniff as the woman walked on right past her. Expression hardening a little before she forced it back into that polite mask, Berelain closed the door with a snap and made her way into the kitchen to fix up some tea.

    And so it was that by the time Johnny came home, Berelain was sitting in the armchair he normally occupied, to avoid sitting next to the Aes Sedai, sipping tea and focusing more on scratching Anne behind the ears to keep the hound distracted from the channeller - she had greeted Nynaeve with an unusual display of distrustful growling that the other woman hadn't been surprised by at all - than she was on attempting to draw Nynaeve into conversation that the other woman did not seem interested in. Sooner she fixed Johnny up and left, the better.


     
  15. Johnny Blaze

    Johnny Blaze Marvel Universe

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    Johnny had gotten up early that morning, earlier than Berelain, but he always was an early riser at that. And off he went to work saying he’d be back around three and they’d go to the clinic together. With very little and tight responses from Berelain. She maybe holding back some of her real frustration and rage, but she was still damned pissed. And it made Johnny ten times more anxious than he usually was.

    There was no way he’d think to call Nynaeve himself and make some kind of appointment. Likely if they had arrived and she said they were booked he’d chicken out and slink back home to deal with it tomorrow. Nor did he think that Nynaeve should have to do any house call on his behalf. While most country doctors were used to making house calls, those same doctors only had a handful of patients. And Nynaeve was a busy kind of woman. Lord knew she had enough on her plate than to worry over his sorry old ass.

    Nah: he had every intention of going home, changing out of a shirt maybe, then get escorted to the clinic with Berelain and deal with the waiting there.

    So when he rolled on up to his house, he opened the back door to greet an overly excited Anne who as was the dog’s custom: had happily jumped away from her position standing guard over Berelain over the weird-smelling bad smell (Nynaeve) that had entered her territory. And was now jumping all over Johnny for kisses and pets.

    It was only after getting Anne to calm down a bit that he finally noticed that Berelain was not alone…. And felt a strange leap of horror as he realized Nynaeve was there.

    ”Doc?..... What’re you?....”

    Grrrrr

    Anne, now that Nynaeve was once against the center of attention, raised her hackles as a soft growl echoed out of her chest. A sound Johnny had heard maybe once or twice when she’d spot a raccoon or something else. ”Anne!” He snapped, voice hoarse but still raised. The dog flinching because damn: she’d never been yelled at by Johnny ever. Not even if she had an accident.

    ”Outside.” He whistled sharply, opening the back door again for the dog to escape out of, her tail tucked between her legs. He closed the door, looking back at Nynaeve almost sheepishly, ”Sorry ah… she’s never done that before….” Ever. Which was weird as hell and damn embarrassing.

    He stuck his hands in his pockets, looking from Berelain to Nynaeve almost unable to ask why the Doc was here cause duuuh…. But: ”Berelain weren’t we…. Gonna go see Doc? Not the other way around?” He asked, almost timidly unsure. Cause maybe he heard wrong, but he felt suddenly very awkward to have someone as busy as Nynaeve taking time out of her day to get growled at, put out, and what not.
     
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  16. Berelain sur Paendrag

    Berelain sur Paendrag The Wheel of Time

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    Female
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    Between jobs :c
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    Human
    Age:
    25
    Alignment:
    Neutral Good
    Directory:
    link


    Berelain was glad when she heard the back door open, Anne darting away and sprinting into the kitchen to meet Johnny before he could even get the door fully open. At least his presence would break up the tension between her and Nynaeve. The Aes Sedai did not like her and didn't make much of a secret of it at all. Berelain could only assume it had something to do with her attempt to seduce Rand in his rooms at the Stone, despite that being however long ago.

    When Johnny came into the living room with the dog in tow, he seemed surprised to see Nynaeve there. Berelain herself was a little surprised that he didn't see this coming. Did he really think she was going to give him any opportunities to weasel his way out of Healing like he had been doing? Before she could say anything, however, Anne started growling again, hackles raised as her attention fixed on the Aes Sedai. It was a bizarre reaction from the dog Berelain had never seen act aggressively at a person before.

    The Aes Sedai merely waved a hand at Johnny's apology, with some comment about how she was used to it and that it wasn't the dog's fault. That made Berelain quirk an eyebrow, before she remembered how Annoura, the Grey sister who had served as her advisor for years, would refrain from hunting trips because the hounds seemed to forget all their training with her around. She'd said something about how dogs did not like Aes Sedai. Strange.

    Leaning forward and setting her cup of tea down on the little table in the middle of the lounge, Berelain looked up at Johnny where she sat. "I thought familiar surroundings would be less stressful," she said, with a smooth smile. While that had been in her thoughts, it wasn't the main reason at all, but she wasn't going to present the real reason in earshot of Nynaeve. "Nynaeve Sedai agreed."


     
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  17. Johnny Blaze

    Johnny Blaze Marvel Universe

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    Berelain said the goal was to make him as less-stressed out as possible, but the feeling in his gut was the same if not worse than if she had been here and they had gone to the clinic together. With Anne acting unusually (and she was right outside the back door whining pitifully at being locked out), and the town Doc in his damn living room (who always reminded Johnny of his Sunday school teacher, and seemed to constantly disapprove of everything Johnny did), and Berelain still pissed off at him to high heaven well….

    He just didn’t feel ready for this. If he wasn’t a grown ass man he’d turn on his heel and hide outside somewhere with his dog like a kid getting a country Doctor visit for an annual booster. He looked down and away from the two ladies…. Sweet Jesus how did he get into these messes?!

    He supposed he well deserved it. Berelain had no reason to trust he wouldn’t chicken out when they went to the clinic, and she’d probably keep not trusting him for a while afterwards. He was surprised she was even still here, and didn’t just leave him to Nynaeve and rush off to stay with some gal friends to bitch about what a horrid man she’d end up with.

    Or even come back at all.

    ”Ahhhh okay then….” Johnny cleared his throat, feeling the beginning of a cough coming from his aching lungs. They always ached anyway, he accepted it like an ache in the back. He looked up at the two ladies hesitantly, ”What ah… do you need me to do, Doc?”

    He’d been healed by Nynaeve before. But this was more than a busted arm. Lung Cancer was no joke. Would he have to lay down somewhere? Sign something? Take some kind of magic potion? Hell he wouldn’t be surprised with all that magic stuff if he wouldn’t have to be levitated and cite backwards latin or some shit….
     
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  18. Nynaeve al'Meara

    Nynaeve al'Meara The Wheel of Time

    Posts:
    216
    Occupation:
    Healer / Head of the Medical Centre
    Race:
    Human - Aes Sedai
    Age:
    27
    Alignment:
    Lawful Good


    Nynaeve felt decidedly uncomfortable sitting in that lounge with the First of Mayene. She didn't like the woman, and had not from the very first moment they'd met in Tear. She doubted she ever would. Berelain was far too much of a flaunter for Nynaeve's liking. Even when Nynaeve arrived at the house, the woman was wearing a dress that revealed a fair amount of cleavage and several inches of pale leg. More skin than Nynaeve ever could have shown.

    Perhaps it was judgemental on Nynaeve's part, but she could not help but remember how the Mayener woman had attempted to seduce Rand back in Tear, practically throwing herself at the young man for... what? Connections? Political security? The prestige of bedding the Lord Dragon? Just the thought made Nynaeve want to tug on her braid. All but the third thing hardly required a woman to lower herself to her basest instincts!

    And now here she was, apparently in a committed relationship, and with a man like Johnny Blaze of all men in Pandora. Someone who was of absolutely no use to her whatsoever. Nynaeve was baffled by the pairing, honestly. She couldn't imagine Berelain having anything to do with someone she couldn't manipulate and use. Either she had Johnny wrapped around her little finger for some obscure reason Nynaeve couldn't figure out, or... well, she had to concede that there was the possibility that the First was more than she appeared, a thought that just made her want to huff.

    But she wasn't there to deal with the frustrating southern woman. No, she was there because of Johnny. He was sick. More than sick, from what Berelain had told her. He was suffering from cancer, apparently, which was honestly something Nynaeve had not known by name until she had started working at the clinic. There'd been a few deaths while she was Wisdom in Emond's Field that she had attributed to tumours growing in the body that were discovered after she'd performed an autopsy, but she'd never known a real name for it. Even without a real name, those people had all died and had died in a terrible way.

    Although the medical care here was far more advanced than what she'd had to deal with before she'd been able to consciously Heal with saidar, Berelain had explained that Johnny had admitted to resigning himself to his impending death and that although he'd agreed to go for help, she doubted that he really would.

    Well, Nynaeve was going to make sure he accepted help. Living near Healers like herself meant that terminal illnesses were no longer so terminal at all. She was not going to let someone die when she could fix them, and at least there was something she and Berelain actually agreed on.

    And so, she found herself waiting in the lounge of the small house for Johnny to return home. His dog had been unhappy with her presence, growling at her with ears laid back until Berelain managed to draw her away and distract her with pets. Nynaeve had barely reacted, except to shift her skirts away at one point when the dog got too close. She liked dogs, she did - when they weren't muddy and smelly, anyway - but dogs did not like her. At least, not for the past few years. Not since she'd started channelling, even when she'd done so subconsciously.

    When Johnny returned home, quickly sending the growling dog outside and apologising, Nynaeve waved a hand dismissively, not showing the slightest bit of offence at the animal's behaviour, before getting right to the matter at hand, her gaze sharp as it travelled over him, critical and not missing a single thing. It noticed the contraction of his chest as he cleared his throat and the way that it brought a little wince to his face that would have likely been missed by anyone else.

    "You should lie down on your bed," she told him, voice firm, clear, and yet holding warmth despite it. "You'll be bedridden for some time after this, so best to start off where you'll be staying for a while. Once you're settled, I'll examine you first to see the progression of your condition, and then I'll do the Healing. First things first... bed." Without a single glance at Berelain, Nynaeve flapped her hands, chivvying him towards one of the doors.


     
    #18 Nynaeve al'Meara, Apr 16, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2018
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  19. Johnny Blaze

    Johnny Blaze Marvel Universe

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    Johnny nodded, not quite looking at the two women as he made his way into the bedroom where Nynaeve pointed. He looked almost like a kid being told to go to his room by his parents, except he was obviously sick while doing it. The moment he was in the hallway, he cut a sharp left to the bathroom and shut the door. Coughed some blood into the toilet, but other than that nothing unusual for his own sickness.

    He took the time while he was in the bathroom to wash his face and hands. He had been, after all, working all day in a mechanic’s shop. He probably stank of oil and grease like a damn grease monkey. He doubted Nynaeve wanted him bedridden in that kind of nonsense. She’d probably get all kinds of upset..

    Then he got changed into a t-shirt and some sweat pants, almost fidgeting as he made his way back out of the bathroom into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking right like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself as Nynaeve came finally marching in.

    Johnny laid back in the bed, trying not to fidget as she started to do…. Whatever kind of magic stuff she did. ”Is uh…. This going to hurt, doc?” He asked, eyes nervously looking over at Berelain. She’d know why he was asking: he didn’t know if Nynaeve would be so keen to heal him if she knew he had a flaming skeleton that would come out if he was hurt or in any kind of danger. He should be prepared, but just in general.

    No being a little baby bitch He told Zarathos in his brain, the demon observing the goings on but relatively being silent. No coming out and scaring the doc. You want me to get healed, right? No real response except for a grumbling growl. Good enough…..