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it's hell getting o l d

Discussion in 'AU Board' started by Crowley, May 31, 2018.

  1. Crowley

    Crowley Supernatural
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    200 years later~~
    literally​


    Time had a way of slipping.

    That was probably the best word for it - or at least it was the best word Crowley could come up with at the moment to explain the way a year became five, became ten. He hadn't meant to be gone so long, but...

    Well, time slipped. One thing led to another thing and suddenly it was a full decade and three meatsuits later. Of course, none of that was meant to imply that Crowley felt bad, because he really didn't. Maybe he would have, if he had been partial to spending time with short-lived species, but over the course of the last couple of centuries, he'd cut out that practice. It was just... uncomfortable.

    Not upsetting, but uncomfortable. Because human beings had an aggravating tendency to die, and Crowley couldn't prevent it. Or rather, he technically could, but humanity seemed annoyingly at ease with the premise of dying at a respectable age and becoming fertilizer. The vast majority spurned the suggestion of being granted indefinite life, and those who took the offer usually didn't make it more than an additional seventy-odd years before choosing to shuffle off the mortal coil by their own volition.

    It was better to stay among creatures that were long-lived, Crowley had come to realize. Sad as it was to consider, he knew that even Toby was still going to be dead long before him, but at least he had another century or two before that became an apparent problem. For now, he was perfectly content to prance away with nary a word, and to come back years later, confident that she would be right where he had left her. Bit of a homebody, really. Didn't seem to have nearly as much wanderlust as he did, but maybe that was simply a matter of their personalities.

    Or maybe he was missing things. Crowley couldn't say for sure as he sidled up the front steps, taking in the familiar building, which had undergone a few changes over the years, by the look of it. Like some godawful curtains. And--

    He was cut off by a sudden rumbling that emanated from inside the house. Taking a step back, Crowley brought up his arms just in time to catch Juliet as the hound exploded through the door with a terrific howl, shoving him onto the ground roughly, Covering his head to avoid the worst of the slobber, the demon shoved her away long enough to teleport into the foyer, yelping when Juliet tackled him again from behind.

    "Get off! It hasn't been that friggin' long!" He bellowed, aiming a hard kick at her back legs as he sat up with a dazed expression. "Don't. Do not. Stop looking stupid, you're lowering my bloody IQ just looking at you!" He snapped, finally scrambling onto his feet while Juliet anxiously milled back and forth, rubbing her massive head against him as she did.

    Turning his attention to the actual house, Crowley wrinkled his nose. "Who thought that was a good color?" He pointed at the walls, which had been painted an agonizingly bland sandy gold. "That's revolting."





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  2. Toby Daye

    Toby Daye October Daye

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    Toby found she got tired more easily as she got older. Not because she was actually physically exhausted but because days and weeks had a way of slipping together when she wasn't paying attention. Toby was a different person than she had been two hundred years before. It was hard to keep your mind straight when you had a tendency to slip into your memories. To relive things in the past. At least when you had spent so much time with so few people.

    Pandora had changed faces many times. Earth shattering moves, crazy events, faces coming and going. The only other person who seemed to have the same staying power that Toby did was a demon named Crowley. They had first met as friends of a mutual friend and they had sort of stuck it out together because there was nothing else that long lasting. Started as some bitch fests over various drinks and then it had escalated in the last fifty years or so by being roomies; so they could bitch about a great many other things without having to go to far.

    Really, Toby liked to tell herself it was because someone had to look out after the hellhound when Crowley vanished. But it was also because of a million other reasons. Which was why Toby stopped staying in her latest apartment and had just moved in. Crowley had vanished awhile ago. Something that she wasn't entirely sure about on exact dates but she had been a busy bee. There were always things to do in Pandora and plenty of people to help.

    "Change it then. Snap your fingers and repaint it another color." There was a shrug of Toby's shoulders. The latest trends or fashions had never been her forte. Crowley was better at that sort of thing and always had been. Toby still wore the same ole same. Pair of jeans, t-shirt, and leather jacket. The cut of those items had changed a few times over the years, every couple of decades or so, but it was all relatively the same.

    "She better be giving you an earful though. Ten years is more than enough to break her heart, Crowley." There was a bit of a smirk at that, just to let the demon know it was all in good fun, but she turned to move towards the living room. "What were you up to?" There had to be a good story around this one. What had happened the last time Crowley had vanished? Had it been the aliens or the weird never ending party train? Toby couldn't remember. It was hard to keep track of all the weird things that could happen in Pandora. She did want to hear though and it was very likely Crowley had a story to tell.
     
  3. Crowley

    Crowley Supernatural
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    Crowley wasn't really bothered by Juliet's immense theatrics. He knew the hound was fine, and had grown used to his comings and goings. In fact, Crowley suspected that Juliet preferred life with Toby, who was more sedentary. At the very least, Toby didn't wander too far from home for too long.

    Crowley was cut off a different cloth and it boiled down to personality. He wasn't content to put down roots. The same bored annoyance that had plagued his short stint ruling Hell always had a way of worming into his brain when he stayed home for too many years in a row.

    "I just traveled two zillion miles and you want me to paint the walls?" He exclaimed sarcastically, looking heavily put-upon. After a moment, his expression cleared and he shrugged. "I'll do it tomorrow. Need to catch up on the trends first." He dismissed lazily, waving a hand at the job as he navigated into the living room.

    With no grace at all, Crowley spun on his heel and flopped onto the couch, covering his eyes with one arm. "She'll survive. She always does." He grumbled, shifting to get more comfortable. "Oh, but actually," Crowley looked at Toby suddenly and sat up with a slight struggle.

    "I found my way into some kind of fae party. That's why I'm so frigging late!" He explained hoarsely, looking perturbed and amused. "Had a cup of wine and suddenly it's five years later. I've never had such a fucking hangover." And, just as he finished his short story, the demon did indeed take on a distinctly chalky, greenish hue. "I think I'm dying."





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  4. Toby Daye

    Toby Daye October Daye

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    If there was any way to deal with Crowley's bitching, it was by giving him an easy solution and telling him to fix it. The demon would, he'd have fun bitching about it too, but really Toby couldn't have stopped him from changing it anyway and this way she could at least point him in a direction for a little bit. He traveled and bobbed around, Toby basically stayed in one spot. She was a creature of habit and she hated change. Pandora was always changing, always keeping her on her toes, and she hadn't liked that a number of times.

    So staying in the same house even when Pandora moved it around was about as steady as Toby could get. Juliet was with her more often than she was with Crowley, except the few times the demon showed up and decided to stick around for a bit. Though if the demon was going to paint she just hoped that the current trends didn't include something stupid like pink pinstripes. She'd argue over that one easily enough. Or just wait until Crowley was gone again to fix it back to something that was easier to look at.

    Her eyebrows rose slightly as he spoke about where he had been. She snorted slightly at his answer. Getting involved in fae business when you weren't fae was a bad idea. For exactly those sorts of reasons. "All things considered you got off easy." The brunette waved a bit of a hand and smirked ever so slightly. A hangover was small fry compared to what it could have been. "All you can do is wait it out. Fresh air, water, probably some sleep." Crowley didn't sleep which would be a slight problem but she also doubted that he was feeling that bad.

    "Which court did you wind up in?" A few years into Pandora, so long ago, everything had changed and the land had increased. Faerie spots had popped up and a few courts had been established. It was hilarious though because fae from different worlds had different rules and assumptions about how the world worked. They were all different and all wrong, with very little adaption. Many of them were stuck in backwater places in forests and swamps because of it. "I suppose not the one who's led by that crazy bedazzled rave chick, right?" That gal had been a bitch and a half. Crazier than a loon and perfectly capable of sending too many trolls with the crook of one finger. Along with a lot of other terrible things.

    But she didn't think he had wound up there if he had wine instead of vodka shots. He would have been really fucked up then. Toby also didn't offer to clear it out of his system. No way in hell she was going to do that. she had stopped that too many years back, done with living other people's memories. It was easier to get lost in her own and she hadn't been crime fighting in decades. There wasn't any real point. Not with the way this world worked.
     
  5. Crowley

    Crowley Supernatural
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    Crowley wasn't surprised that Toby was being an unsympathetic beast. Over the course of many years, he'd gotten used to it, and had accepted that she was fulfilling her life's ambition to be the most cantankerous old woman she could be. Still, her attitude wasn't helping the roiling in his stomach or the throbbing headache.

    "You are a truly abysmal nurse." He groaned dramatically, lying back down with an arm over his eyes. Because fuck the sun. After a few moments of self pity, Crowley peeked at her from beneath his arm and wrinkled his nose. "Unseelie, obviously. Apparently we're practically family." Crowley swallowed roughly, looking slightly more green-tinged than before.

    Covering his eyes again, the demon mused for a few seconds. "I don't remember a rave, but there might have been. I think I got married. Or I officiated a marriage? I don't know. Do you have a bucket?"





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  6. Toby Daye

    Toby Daye October Daye

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    Toby had never tried to be a nurse and she was-- well no, that was incorrect. Crowley just wasn't someone who was going to be nursed. He wasn't a child. He wasn't about to die no matter how he felt. He was a demon and he was just having a bit of a pity party on his own behalf for fun. She had lived with him too long to be fooled by his attempted hysterics. Unseelie meant that the court wasn't from her world or a couple others. It was funny how things could be so similar and yet so different.

    "If you got married, you would have had a lot of trouble leaving, depending on your spouse." Hopefully he had officiated the marriage instead of the other way around. If he had married someone territorial then he could have been bringing trouble home. Not that Toby was too fussed. One King of Hell, one massive hellhound, and one changeling knight... well, they were trouble enough on their own.

    She moved slightly away from where she stood into the kitchen, to fish a large mixing bowl out from one of the cupboards. Two decades previous, after Crowley had vanished, she had tried to take up baking out of boredom. Toby had been terrible at it and she had convinced the oven that it was really a fireplace. She had had to have it replaced and that Toby wasn't going to talk about.

    Instead the brunette moved back into the entryway and plunked the bowl next to the demon. "Best I can do on short notice." Toby was pretending to be surly on the matter but really she was glad that Crowley had finally gotten home. It was good to have some noise back in the place. She didn't have many friends again because Pandora had taken them all away one after another ten years back and while she loved Juliet, there was a difference between the hellhound and someone she could actually communicate with. "What do you remember about the wedding?" Just in case trouble was coming to her door.
     
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  7. Crowley

    Crowley Supernatural
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    Over the course of centuries, Crowley had picked up more than his fair share of information about the fae from Toby. Not often directly, but she let things slip now and then, and as time wore on he had naturally pieced together a narrative using the bits of knowledge she mentioned. Enough, at least, that he knew to give the whole species a healthy respect, as difficult as than could be for Crowley. Had he known what would ensue by accepting an innocent-enough drink from one of the little bastards, he'd have been back five years sooner.

    "Well, no one went out of their way to stop me leaving, so..." Crowley grimaced, rolling over on the couch to watch her navigating the kitchen. Thinking about the party meant thinking about that sickly sweet, godawful, eternally-pouring wine, and he could still feel it bubbling in his throat no matter how much he swallowed.

    As soon as she set down the bowl, he rolled over and vomited unceremoniously into it, waving Juliet's concerned snout away as an impossible amount of fragrant wine was displaced into the container. The only reason it didn't overflow was because Crowley was vanishing it almost as fast as it left his mouth, and eventually the demon coughed and pushed himself grudgingly upright, still feeling nauseous as he disappeared the sick and picked the bowl up, plunking it down on his lap just in case.

    "Music? I don't know. I kept getting distracted." Crowley grumbled petulantly. "It's like getting drunk in a room full of supermodels. Keeping a level head is practically impossible." He added, staring down at the bowl. "But there was dancing, and then some-- magic." The demon said firmly with a firm nod that was followed immediately by a grimace as his head threatened to explode. "Vows, but not like I've ever heard. I didn't even know what they were saying." He elaborated, leaning his head against the back of the couch. "And I thought I knew every language still in use."

    He glanced at Toby thoughtfully. "Don't suppose you know much about faerie weddings, Tink?"





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  8. Toby Daye

    Toby Daye October Daye

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    Crowley had become the person that Toby had known the longest. From two entirely different worlds and yet there were plenty of people that seemed similar to them. Not that Crowley had spoken about it much but he seemed to like to fondly call her mutt and she had often told him that he reminded her of a number of fae back home. He was a lot like Rose. A lot like the sea witch. Could even be said to be a lot like the queen but Toby had never mentioned that. The queen was a bitch and Toby didn't want to make that comparison with her longest standing companion. Everyone else came and went. Sometimes for a few months, other times for a few years, even a few decades, but no one had lasted longer than thirty years. Those had been the painful ones to lose. Mostly.


    She smirked slightly as Crowley became sick and cleaned up after himself all in one go. There was a huge plus side to being roomies with the King of Hell. He liked things clean and he was often willing to bitch, moan, and clean house when he came back. Toby wasn't exactly a slob, she could just get distracted and busy from time to time. Like that time she had accidentally gotten involved with the military, conscripted during the war, and then they had tried to make her a fucking general for some unknown reason. "Sounds like a regular sort of wedding in most fae worlds." Vows were always strange when you could technically live forever. Til death do us part just wasn't a part of it. Toby had never said those lines herself. She had never been married. Though there had been... close calls in that department as well.


    But he called her tink and that was the best way to stop getting a flow of information. "I've been to very few and as I've never gotten married myself, your guess would be as good as mine." Toby hated it when he called her Tink or Tinkerbell or any of the other pixie shit he seemed to like to spout off when he felt like it. The brunette simply gave him the bird and then started to walk off, heading deeper into the house and back to what she had been doing, cleaning her weapons. They hadn't gotten much action of late but she had this general tingle along the back of her neck that suggested something was going to crop up soon.


    "What did you say? Can you remember that?" Maybe his words would help. If he had gotten married the tingle along the back of her neck might have been in relation to faeries showing up sooner instead of later. Toby sat at the kitchen table where her knife guns were currently sitting on a towel next to a couple of cases of ammo and all the fixings to clean the metal as well as polish it. An old gift, but one she had kept for almost a hundred and fifty years. Toby couldn't even remember if she had told Crowley where they had come from. She supposed it didn't matter at this point.
     
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  9. Crowley

    Crowley Supernatural
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    The coming and going of people had stopped affecting Crowley a long time ago, but he knew that Toby was cut from a different cloth, and in his own way he had become deeply fond of that glaring fault in her. While she was never one to express it loud and proud for the world to hear, he'd known the brat long enough to see that she still managed to get herself hurt now and then in ways that Crowley had never been able to hurt. He'd had some people who vanished and he'd reacted... poorly, but his response had always been hostile and angry. Crowley didn't curl up and whimper over it, or poke it away for a rainy day - he had entire months, years and decades of explosive, indignant fury. A sort of visceral how dare you reaction to the departure of those he'd let himself care for at all.

    Really, Toby was the only person who had bothered to even try sticking it out, and although Crowley would go to the grave without mentioning it, he was deeply indebted to the fae for her persistence. Even if there had been occasions where even she had to back away and give him his space for a few years, it was a deep and personal relief to know that Crowley had her to run back to eventually, when the worst of his tantrums had petered out.

    Still, he rolled his eyes when she clammed up and stomped away. "Oh, don't be a bitch about it." He groaned, pushing himself upright and staggering after her, still clutching the bowl like a lifeline. Hesitating at the entrance to the kitchen, he leaned against the doorway and watched her cleaning her weird knife guns. "Are you gonna be mad at me now? It's been years! I just got home and you're going to give me the classic Daye Stink Eye because of one little slip? You're the one that manifested the Disney Princess wings that one time, love. Not me." They'd been cute, actually. All fluttery and full of pixie dust.

    Probably not the best thing to bring up.

    "I don't know. Look, I haven't gotten that drunk ever. I don't know if I'd even call it drunk, Mutt. It was magic, whatever it was. All I remember is bits and pieces of dancing and words I can't remember - and you know how much I like to remember things." He muttered, alluding to the time, centuries before, when he'd had a chunk of his bloody memory scrubbed clean. Since then, Crowley had been almost unbearably anal about keeping track of everything around him. He'd practically trained himself into having an eidetic mind by sheer willpower alone.

    He wilted a bit, still looking mildly ill. "You're not allowed to be pissy at me. Not for at least two days." Crowley did not whine, being a very old and very mature demon. But he did sound a bit petulant.






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  10. Toby Daye

    Toby Daye October Daye

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    Toby was smirking as she settled back into cleaning her weapons. She'd be a bitch about whatever the hell she wanted. It wasn't being mad at Crowley for being gone for two decades. Pandora could have taken him back at any point and she wouldn't have known better. Then she'd have Juliet and it would just be the two of them until Pandora knew how long. It wasn't like Toby had too much to go on when it came to that sort of thing. Either he was gone or he wasn't, she would keep living her life the way she always had.

    There had been some bumps in the road though and growing those goddamn wings had certainly been one of those bumps. Not anything she ever wanted to repeat but Pandora sometimes did repeat itself when it felt like it too. Always putting a new spin on things. "Being able to talk to animals was fucking weird." No matter how much time had passed Toby was glad she had been a Disney princess for a few months that one time. Why did she have wings? The changeling still didn't know that bit. There might have been singing as well but that had been random, spontaneous, and terrible for anyone around her because Toby could not sing at all. She sounded like a dying whale, she was sure.

    "I'll be pissy if I have to deal with angry faeries. Again." Not that Crowley had been the one who typically had angry fae after him. Toby still held that crown after two hundred years of life. Partially because she was a mutt but mostly because she was a bitch who didn't like letting faeries have their normal sorts of fun. "You're answering the door if it knocks in the next two days, then you have a deal." She tossed the word out with a little bit of humor twisting around it. She knew all about Crowley's demon deals by this point in time. She had also never kissed him. That would have been weird as all hell, no matter the context behind it. Crowley was like that weird, mostly cool cousin who also could bitch as well as she could.

    Besides their two races had some similar quirks about deals and bargains. It was the best way to trip of a fae and something that demons got stuck in. At least those of the crossroad variety. "Juliet got so depressed when you left that she gained forty pounds. It took three years to get her to run that off." Which was basically Toby's way of telling Crowley he hadn't apologized enough to the hellhound yet. Juliet still loved the demon more than she loved Toby, but Toby loved Juliet more than she liked Crowley, so he needed to be nice to the hound too or Toby really would get irritated at him.
     
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  11. Crowley

    Crowley Supernatural
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    Sometimes it was a bit of a trip to reminisce on the weird situations he and Toby had found themselves in over the decades. Still resisting the urge to keep puking, Crowley squinted against the painful Disney Princess memories. More specifically, the memories of Toby crowing her godawful, tuneless heart out.

    "You get used to it." Crowley quipped. Of course, he now had five hundred years experience in talking to animals when necessary, so perhaps he was just accustomed to how weird it was. "Except cats. Cats are just bitches." He muttered mutinously with slitted eyes. There was nothing good about a feline, besides how many ways they could indirectly say fuck you in one sentence.

    "You won't." He groaned, upchucking again into his bowl before he could help himself. "Even if something did happen, I don't expect anyone to break down a door over it." He grinned feebly, then continued vomiting and vanishing the resultant mess. "I'm not really very good wedding material once everyone sobers up." He chuckled.

    Once he felt slightly less like he was going to die, Crowley looked at Juliet fondly, aware that the hound really didn't take his absences well at all. Planting a kiss on her nose, he willingly sat on the floor and gave her a rare snuggle. "I knew you were heavier than you used to be! Fat cow..." He grumbled, rubbing behind both her ears vigorously. "You're gonna start mooing soon. Hmm? I'll have to change your name to Daisy. Or Betsy."





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  12. Toby Daye

    Toby Daye October Daye

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    The singing had been really terrible and Toby wasn't even going to make excuses about it. She hadn't sung since because she had no wish to torture on anyone around her, King of Hell included. Maybe more because Crowley would make it into a thing. He would either bitch for a decade or get a hankering to try and get Toby to improve herself. Either was just as likely and the changeling had never figured out which one was more annoying than the other.

    Cats being bitches was exactly the sort of thing she expected from the demon and the truth. Cats were bitches. Toby had a pair back home that would have probably easily gone on that list because they had been bitches even though the changeling couldn't talk to them. They had been her only company for a year though so there was something to be said for that. Probably because she fed them one time normally. That was always was the way to get a cat to put up with your presence in their apartment.

    "Well sure, if you married like some prissy bitch in a diamond dress then we'll be fine but if you married like a half troll they will totally break down the door." Trolls were known for that, no matter who was standing in the way. No matter what kind of door was between them. They had a way with punching through things that could be very admirable and Toby preferred not to fuck with them or ogres. Ugh, orgres.

    She side eyed Crowley as the demon fussed with Juliet, if only to make sure he was actually being nice to her. "We ran it off, she's back to her weight before you left." Though Juliet was still large by a good amount. Mostly because she had always been big. At least in the two hundred-ish years that Toby had known the two of them.

    "Don't be mean to her." There was still amusement in that voice of hers but Toby was feeling a little territorial all the same. After all, she was the one who had been taking care of Juliet the last twenty years. "You smell like twelve kinds of magic, if that helps you at all." At least twelve. He stank to high heaven really.