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Private Just Another Nut In The Jar

Discussion in 'Pandopolis City' started by Carter J. Burke, Nov 19, 2019.

  1. Carter J. Burke

    The Company Man

    Posts:
    216
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Elusion Clerk
    Location:
    Centria
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    30
    Alignment:
    Lawful Evil
    Directory:
    link

    November 22nd, Year 109
    Pandora’s Pub
    Participants: @Osomatsu Matsuno


    Carter Burke had known that Pandora was filled with oddities and eccentricities since the day he’d arrived, but last night had just about taken the prize. It was because of that extraordinarily strange and perilous night that he’d found himself in Pandopolis City, looking for a decent bar to get a drink or two. He needed a break from Centria, at least for a couple days, after all it had handed to him. Maybe, he mused, he’d find a hotel and stay at the patchwork city during the weekend and then return to Centria in good spirits. But first, he hoped to quench his thirst, and after a stroll through Tavoie Borough he’d found just the right spot to do that.

    At a first glance, Pandora’s Pub seemed like a typical bar, complete with a dart board and some pool tables to boot. Burke hoped that the patrons as well as the people who ran it were as normal as what surrounded them - he’d had well enough of weird for the time being. He made his way over to the counter and took a seat at the end, noticing a jar of nuts sitting atop the wooden surface. BOTTOMLESS JAR OF ASSORTED NUTS, the label said, which vanquished all of Burke’s expectations for normality at the instant he read it.

    But as far as peculiarities went, a self-replenishing supply of snacks wasn’t a bad thing, so allowed himself to relax for the moment. Reaching into the jar, he pulled out a small selection and began to chew on a piece of walnut. All he needed now was a couple of drinks, and perhaps a sympathetic ear to listen to his frustrations. Luckily for him, the bartender was available. “Hey bartender!” Burke called out, hoping to get the other’s attention. “It says here that this jar has an endless supply of nuts. Think that’s an analogy for Pandora, or something? ‘Cause ever since I ended up in this godforsaken place, I have met nothing but wackos, misfits, and freaks.”

     
    Osomatsu Matsuno likes this.
  2. Osomatsu Matsuno

    Osomatsu Matsuno Osomatsu-San

    Posts:
    24
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Bartender
    Location:
    Akatsuka Ward
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    Twenty-four
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Good
    [​IMG]

    So when he'd gotten to this weird place, it'd been required to get a job. Jobs provided income provided housing provided methods of survival, and Osomatsu had no intention of turning out like Iyami. All things considered, at least his unpleasant experiences with that con-artist had taught him one thing: no goddamn way was he going to become a crazy homeless person like him.

    Of course, this was difficult considering his lack of credentials. He had a high school degree, that was something, some people didn't even have that so he supposed he was lucky there. But university...not likely. As much as Choromatsu might attempt to poorly lie through his teeth about that and claim that his degree was 'simply left at home', or Totty might attempt to do the same but smoother, and even tack on that he'd gone to a prestige university, maybe even overseas...Osomatsu didn't attempt that. After all, lying was bad. It just bit you in the ass later if you forgot, and he knew for a fact that he'd probably forget if he tried and eventually come clean that he was previously a worthless NEET anyway. So he hadn't attempted to lie about that. Which had limited his options a bit more.

    Taking that into consideration, he'd tried to hone in on what talents he did have. Which...weren't many that he could imagine, to be honest. Professional Slacker wasn't a job. And as much as he would've liked to imagine this situation involved him going on some kind of great quest like a fantasy hero, maybe learning some kind of steal spell to snatch valuables (of many kinds)...hadn't turned out that way yet, either. After a bit of examination, he'd realized at the very least that he knew alcohol. He practically drank every other night back at home. So maybe...he could be on the other side? It was something. Surprisingly enough, he'd gotten the job.

    And he'd gotten his first paycheck before that! ....Only to find a pretty girl on the streets and use some of it on her, because he thought entirely with one head, and it wasn't placed on top of his body, that was for sure. Still! That was the most positive interaction he'd gotten with a girl in a long time! He'd proven to Konata-chan that he was reliable...so that was worth the money. It seemed like most of the company he'd encountered in this world were cute girls, honestly. First Arcueid-chan, then Konata-chan...it was kind of lucky, really. Scratch that. It was really lucky. So he kinda didn't hate this world. Sure, it was a little lonely without his brothers, but...

    He didn't have much time to think it over now. Some guy was flagging him down, and he looked like the sort of guy who had issues. Jeez. Faintly, he remembered the times he'd vented out his own frustrations to Chibita, and so maybe yet again it was time for him to feel what it was like to be on the other end of that. He stepped over, raising a brow. "I mean, maybe, but no matter where you go there's a lot of weird people, right? Has it really been that bad? ...I mean, it's been kinda nice for me, but I just got here not too long ago."

     
    Carter J. Burke likes this.
  3. Carter J. Burke

    The Company Man

    Posts:
    216
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Elusion Clerk
    Location:
    Centria
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    30
    Alignment:
    Lawful Evil
    Directory:
    link

    Burke let out a frustrated sigh. Maybe he was exaggerating a bit by saying literally everyone in Pandora was a weirdo. Sure, most of whom he’d met had bizarre quirks and a lot of them weren’t even human. And then there were humans who weren’t like him, in the sense that they had powers and used magic. He’d met a teenage girl who could practically take out a Xenomorph in one punch, for crying out loud! And then there were people who actually were like him, only ten times crazier such as Justin McCay and to a certain degree, Benny. But he wasn’t giving the normal ones enough credit. Clara, for example, was somebody he genuinely enjoyed the company of. If only that madman of a Marine hadn’t tried to meddle with their relationship!

    But thinking about all of that was just too much, especially after last night. After swallowing the piece of walnut, Burke divulged the details of what had happened. “My cat, he’s not even a cat! He’s some kind of a demon! On a nutso sadist diet too, feeding off the energy of people in pain or something.” The bartender looked so damn normal that he doubted he’d believe him. He’d just arrived in Pandora too, which didn’t help matters on Burke’s end. How could this guy ever relate to something so insane?

    “Look,” Burke continued, now helping himself to a peanut. “I don’t know where you’re from or how easy your life’s been, but you have seen nothing ‘til you’ve lived here for awhile. Give it a week - hell, a couple of days - and you’ll be questioning everything you’ve ever known.” Realizing he hadn’t yet asked for a drink and must have seemed like he was merely hanging around to complain, he straightened his posture and ordered. “Bourbon,” he requested wearily. “I’ll take it neat.”

     
    #3 Carter J. Burke, Nov 24, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2019 at 4:57 PM
  4. Osomatsu Matsuno

    Osomatsu Matsuno Osomatsu-San

    Posts:
    24
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Bartender
    Location:
    Akatsuka Ward
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    Twenty-four
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Good
    [​IMG]

    Right, okay. This was part of his job. Listening to people. Not spacing out. Osomatsu had to remember that - he was far too good at only hearing what he wanted to hear at times, but this time he was hearing someone out. And this guy...yeah. Okay. The guy told him that his cat was actually a demon. And a sadist who fed off of pain. The fact that he looked more amused than shocked was probably a bit of a tip-off that he wasn't unused to the idea of something like that, and his mind had more gone the direction of buddy, if you don't want the sadist demon cat anymore, if he ever turns up, I know a guy who'd basically take it off your hands immediately. Probably more urgently with every word in 'cat sadist demon', honestly.

    "Heh. Really? That's super weird. I mean, I can understand the upset, I'd probably be unnerved too if there was a sado-demon basically lurking in my house spying on me. Not everyone would be, though. At least this one couldn't read your mind? I knew a cat once that had ESP. That was pretty troublesome..." Well. Really troublesome for some people, honestly. Not that Osomatsu was one to hide his thoughts, but his brothers...they kept their secrets. Not that it'd hurt anyone who mattered at the time apart from Ichimatsu. It did hurt the lives of some people who didn't matter, but again, they didn't matter.

    The guy finally ordered a drink - that was easy to get, he nodded, on it right away, but laughed at the notion that he'd be questioning everything he'd ever known. "I've seen some pretty weird things, pal. Takes a lot to phase me now. But I'll assume the weird beginning plot of some kinda furry-S&M book isn't the weirdest thing ever here..."

     
    Carter J. Burke likes this.
  5. Carter J. Burke

    The Company Man

    Posts:
    216
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Elusion Clerk
    Location:
    Centria
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    30
    Alignment:
    Lawful Evil
    Directory:
    link

    It had been around two minutes into their conversation and the bartender was already striking him as stranger than expected. Not quite as nutty as the peanut he was chewing on, Burke mused to himself, but he had a feeling that it would just be a matter of time before he revealed himself to be a total wacko. The lack of surprise on his face upon hearing the tale of a cat which was really a pain-eating demon was the mere start of his odd behavior. Because of Pandora’s inherently eccentric nature, he hadn’t the slightest doubt in his mind about that.

    “Yeah, it is weird!” Burke answered back in an almost argumentative manner, swallowing what remained of the peanut afterwards. “I mean, cats have their quirks, I know that much. But let me tell you, this one is a whole ‘nother story.” Or rather, it was. He was quite certain that the wizard who’d come across the scene had zapped the life out of that feline fiend with some kind of a magic energy bolt, and fortunately so as he would have probably been a goner if not for his help. “You know, I never really thought about it reading my mind but if it used hypnosis then I wouldn’t have known.”

    Burke gave the other guy a bit of a funny look as he mentioned a cat with ESP, but decided he wouldn’t ask. It seemed like he was using his different sense of humor to commiserate with him, but if he wasn’t then it was probably one of the quirks of his home world. After meeting a magical girl, a shape-shifting llama and all sorts of other strange people in Pandora, Burke had a feeling that despite what he said, this guy’s world was one of the tamer places out there. And if not, then he’d likely find out soon enough.

    “You haven’t even scratched the surface of weird yet, pal,” Burke warned the barman after taking a lengthy sip of his drink. When he thought about it, he doubted he had himself, either. Pandora was just too filled with the unexpected. “You ever come into contact with extraterrestrials with acid for blood? Or teenage girls who can knock the lights out of that said creature without breaking a sweat? What’s the craziest experience you’ve ever been through? ‘Cause whatever it is, there’s still a surprise lurking around every corner of this place, I can guarantee it.”