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Private [M] Fire In My Veins

Discussion in 'Silverpool' started by Raphael Santiago, Dec 27, 2017.

  1. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
    the strongest card in the deck is the ace

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    @Magnus Bane | January 30th; 11:50pm
    Relevant Threads: txt chat
    warnings: drug abuse mention, addiction withdrawal symptoms, psychotic visions
    "I'll be right there."

    The phone slipped onto his chest and pure relief filled Raphael. Calmness? Maybe it was- no, it wasn't. His hands were still shaking. He had to stop them from shaking. He-- Magnus would see it either way, would he? No matter how hard the vampire tried to hide the tremor in his hands, the shadows under his eyes, or the cold in his bones- Or maybe, no. Magnus couldn't exactly see how cold Raphael was feeling. So much colder than he usually did, and that said something. But still. Why would he invite Magnus, ask him to come over, all desperate, when he actually didn't want the warlock to know. Because he could only help Raphael, if he knew. And help was what he had wanted, right?

    Right?

    Anxiety was getting a hold of his lungs, even though he didn't even need to breathe. What if he is disappointed? No, of course he would be. This was, more or less, Raphael's own fault, so Magnus would be right in blaming him. Or would he?

    What if he leaves me? What if he kicks me out, because I have to learn my lesson?

    Fuck, no, that was Magnus, he was talking about. Magnus would never- At least not without any reason and-

    Fuck.

    Cuddled into the thick fabric of the armchair he was sitting in, and a spiderman blanket, he had borrowed from Simon weeks ago, wrapped tightly around his body, Raphael was staring into nothingness, hoping the pain would stop the next second. Or maybe the next. Or maybe the second after that. Or maybe now-

    The sound of the portal almost went by unnoticed, if it hadn't been for the bright purple light it was emitting. The rest of the room was left in darkness. Utter darkness, because every source of light hurt the vampire's sensitive eyes and made everything worse. He immediately pulled the blanket over his head to shield himself from the glow. From the pain. Indigo too made a tiny yelp sound, where he was lying, atop of said armchair, and held one of his wings in front of his eyes, the purple light getting reflected by his deep blue scales.
     
    #1 Raphael Santiago, Dec 27, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2018 at 5:05 PM
  2. Magnus Bane

    Magnus Bane The Mortal Instruments

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    Magnus had barely hit the 'send' button on his text to Raphael before he had a portal opened in front of him, the room that he kept on constant reserve for Raphael clearly in his mind as he stepped through it without hesitation.

    He had no idea what to expect on the other side. Raphael said he was in pain, and that he needed someone to talk to, but what did that mean? He was okay enough to text, mostly full sentences, correcting errors... so that was a good sign. If he was seriously injured things would've been a bit more urgent, probably... but the words themselves were pleading and urgent in and of themselves. So what was wrong, then?

    Seeing his friend curled up in the seat of an armchair, his body looking impossibly small wrapped up in the blanket as he curled up on himself against the light of the portal as it closed behind the warlock, was a much better scene than any he pictured in his head. But that only left him with more questions than he had before, honestly.

    "I'm here," he said, taking several slow, measured steps towards Raphael, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder as he approached and knelt in front of him. "What's the matter?"
     
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  3. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    It was silent for a good moment, before Raphael heard the slow steps approaching, leather against wood, partly muffled by the carpet once Magnus reached the armchair. The lights in the room stayed dark. The warlock most likely realized that light wasn't what Raphael wanted right now.

    A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder, soft words following. Magnus asking, what the matter was, obvious worry in his voice.

    You don't deserve this, Raphael. You don't deserve this. This kindness. This worry. You deserve the pain you're feeling. You deserve--

    He moved the blanket away from his face, meeting Magnus' gaze. The familiar deep brown eyes, his pupils widened to pick up at least some of the light in here - it was probably a mostly wasted attempt, in a room with no windows and switched off lights. Raphael's hand was shaking, when he switched on his phone's flashlight - not without diverting his gaze immediately - and pushed the phone onto the coffee table next to them, the LED facing upwards. It was a clacking sound that echoed in his ears, a lot louder than it probably was. Pulling his hand back underneath the blanket, the vampire swallowed thickly and breathed in, before he finally said something, his voice hoarse and weak. "I've- I've made a mistake, Magnus."
     
  4. Magnus Bane

    Magnus Bane The Mortal Instruments

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    Even though it was late Magnus didn't expect to find the room entirely black - the ones set aside for vampires were entirely windowless, so even the moonlight outside wouldn't show through, but there was artificial light in the form of lamps that he'd expected to walk into. When the phone light activated and he got a look at Raphael's face for the briefest of seconds before it was pushed away as if even that light burned him, Magnus knew something was wrong.

    Not that the text itself wasn't enough to tell him that. "We all make mistakes," Magnus reassured him, not sure what to say to that until he had more information. "Whatever's wrong, I'm sure we can figure it out." It was difficult to be comforting when he had no idea what was wrong, and seeing Raphael like this sent a flutter of worry through him that he did his best not to show externally.

    "What do you need me to do?" The warlock never dropped his eye contact with the vampire, even when the other's eyes closed, covered against the light. He held his gaze and kept his tone steady, searching for answers in features and reactions when he didn't immediately get them vocally. It looked like Raphael was in no condition to help himself - did he need blood? Was something more serious the matter? Whatever happened, the more he could get out of Raphael before starting to guess on his own the easier this - whatever this was - would be.
     
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  5. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    No, no, Magnus didn't understand. This wasn't something he could easily fix. That wasn't some 'flick a finger and it's fine again' problem. Raphael was barely able to sleep anymore. His whole body ached after only so little time without a fix. He'd been forgetting what time it was, or what he had planned and scheduled for that particular day. And that were only the most obvious symptoms.

    A quick shake of his head, and Raphael's gaze fell onto his trembling hands. Some tears were dwelling up in his eyes already, he could feel it. Tears, caused by the mere fact, that Magnus did show up. That Raphael seemed to be at least worth to be checked on, when he asked for help.

    Ignoring the warlock's last question - for the moment at least - the vampire blinked rapidly and immediately wiped the tear away, that had been trying to roll down his cheek. "I've did it again, Magnus." There was a certain tone to that sentence, that sounded like..fear. Like glass, that was about to break. Heavy guilt, dripping from his lips like the blood he almost choked on when feeding on John.

    Raphael felt so so guilty.
    For lying to Dorian.
    For furthering John's problems.
    For everything that had happened and everything that was still happening.
    For how much he would disappoint Magnus if he told him now, and how much Tanaquil was suffering, because he couldn't take fucking care of her.
    For the burden he was to everyone else.

    "I've killed someone. Drank them dry, like-" His voice gave in at that point, as a sob pushed past his throat. "I snapped. The beast took over and I- and I just couldn't control myself anymore, it-it- it just happened." He was terrified and disgusted of himself. He knew, somewhere, in the back of his mind, that he couldn't - and shouldn't - blame himself, but who else's fault was it then?
     
  6. Magnus Bane

    Magnus Bane The Mortal Instruments

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    Magnus was unable to hide the hitch in his breath, a sharp intake as he winced against the words Raphael spoke. "Raphael..." he said his name soft but pained. He wanted to comfort his friend - it was obvious how much this hurt him, how upset he was to have to admit what he'd done let alone living with the fact that he did it, but it wasn't as if he could brush this off as a simple mistake. There was nothing simple about this - Raphael had taken someone's life. And, from the sounds of the confession, it was an unfortunate accident rather than anything justifiable like self-defense.

    Magnus took a deep breath, serving both to calm himself as well as to buy a few more seconds to collect his thoughts before he said something that might only make things worse. Raphael, as far as Magnus was aware, had been doing so well in keeping himself on a diet of animal blood. Was this a one-time slip up that got out of hand, or had he been drinking from humans again for longer than Magnus knew?

    "When did it happen?" The more he knew, the better he could figure out what to do. If this was something that just happened there might be a more pressing need for Magnus to take some sort of immediate steps, but if it was something from days, maybe weeks, ago that was weighing on Raphael's conscience, at least there was little he could be expected to do immediately.
     
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  7. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    The way, Magnus said his name, it was clear how much it had shocked him. Of course it did. Raphael Santiago did not go lurking in the night, drinking from mundanes. Raphael Santiago had sworn off that practice decades ago, because he couldn't continue hunting and killing mundanes, too painful the guilt, too appalling the feeling of it all; because that had been what he'd done after his turning, unable to stop. And after coming to Pandora, he'd even went on an animal diet, to make it easier for himself to stay clean from angel blood.
    Only, that it had, in the end, resulted in getting addicted to a different high.

    But, the way, Magnus said his name, also made it a tiny bit easier for the vampire to open up and tell his friend, just what had happend.

    "On the 10th." It was scary, how exactly he knew that, wasn't it? But, it made sense. In a way. Even though the days and nights were blurring together more and more with each bite he took from John, he would always remember that night. "But, there's- there's more," he painfully managed to push out of his lips. If that had been a one-time thing, Raphael would've not been sitting in that chair, trembling from the cold, almost crying - or was he already? - and being so utterly afraid of how Magnus would react to all of this.
     
  8. Magnus Bane

    Magnus Bane The Mortal Instruments

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    The tenth. That was twenty days ago. Did anyone else know besides him? Had he confided in Simon? In Dorian? Magnus liked to imagine that he was the first person that his dear friend would turn to over something like this, but that didn't mean it was the truth. Perhaps in their time here they'd grown apart a bit -- things were certainly different than back home where the Downworlders shared a much greater need to look out for one another. Here there were other vampires with whom Raphael had bonded and became close with... perhaps those were the support he turned to first now.

    Magnus didn't get the chance to ask before Raphael was continuing, looking as if he were on the verge of tears, if not already crying - it was difficult to tell in the dark of the room, even with the bit of light provided by the phone Raphael set to the side upon Magnus' arrival. "I'm listening." Was all Magnus could say, feeling the tension of fear mixed with concern tightening in his chest. What more could there be, that was worse than what Raphael already admitted, that he still couldn't come out and say?

    How bad was the situation that Magnus now realized he was very much a part of, for better or worse.
     
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  9. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    He was hiding it from Dorian. He was lying to Simon and Tanaquil about it, latter of which knew that he was and had thus decided to keep her distance from him for the time being - a decision that utterly hurt, but one he probably deserved after making her suffer so much. Due to their bond, the young woman felt what he was feeling; the more extreme his feelings, the more detailed she could feel it. And, metaphorically dancing on the edge of the skies, only to crash violently later, was definitely extreme enough to make her suffer from it, too.

    So, in the end, Magnus actually was the first person he told about this. Despite how huge the chances of the warlock being disappointed in him were. Raphael was convinced, he deserved that too.

    It took him all of his strength, to stabilize his voice, which was trembling and getting cut into pieces by sobs. "Later- that night, I- I found someone else. I wasn't back in control yet, and- and I fed on them too, but I could- I could stop, before it- before they would've gotten- before they would've lost too much blood." Even in this state he was currently in, Raphael managed to use they/them pronouns to keep it as anonymous as possible. He couldn't just tell Magnus who it was; Magnus would try and cut Raphael off from John, because Magnus knew John too and probably cared about him quite a bit - and Raphael couldn't let that happen. No. No, he needed to be there for the former sailor, he needed to keep this going, or John, too, would suffer horribly. More horribly than he already was, that was. And the clan leader had promised to always be available to him, as long as the sun wasn't up in the sky.

    The irony of how he had promised to be there for Tana too and was now doing the exact opposite? Yeah, that escaped him slightly.

    "Just, that-- They had drugs in their blood. And apparently- they were taking this for- for a while now. Which means, that I - with my bite-" His voice broke at that, sounding even more hoarse and fragile now, if that was humanly possible. "-added another addiction to it."

    Keep going! he told himself, knowing that if he didn't, he might never would.

    "Magnus, I just- I couldn't just leave them there. It was my fault." The thing about Raphael was, that whomever he was calling friend, would not be left behind. It would've been a lot different, if it had been just a random person - though he at least would've wondered if they had survived after all. But John was his friend. Close enough anyway. And Raphael's heart was way too big to let the mundane deal with this alone. It was the vampire's fault, so he would try and fix it. "I gave them my number and told them to text me, whenever- whenever they need me."
     
  10. Magnus Bane

    Magnus Bane The Mortal Instruments

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    When Raphael began his second confession Magnus wasn't sure what to expect. Had he started with the worst of the news he had to give so that the blow of this one wouldn't be quite so bad, or had he started off with the easiest to lead into something more difficult? When he started speaking of feeding on a mundane again Magnus thought for certain this was going to end in another death, and so he was very relieved to hear that this wasn't the case the second time around.

    That relief did not last long, replaced with a sinking feeling the longer Raphael went on to detail the drugs in the mundane's system, the different sort of addiction that followed, and the warlock couldn't help but know deep down that this was too specific for coincidence. This was a story he already heard a few weeks back, but from the lips of John Silver when he arrived broken and bruised at this doorstep, shaking. Could it really be that Raphael was the vampire he'd been speaking of that night?

    It made sense, the longer he sat in stunned silence, processing. The fact that he hadn't been able to find Raphael since then, that any communications between them were blown off.

    Magnus sat in a silence that grew increasingly uncomfortable after Raphael finished speaking, but he didn't trust himself to speak right away. It was only after a few measured breaths that he turned his gaze to look straight into the vampire's eyes. "You gave him access to you, repeatedly, enabling the addiction. Both of your addictions," he said, not quite angry, not yet. But he could feel the seeds of it beneath his clearing confusion. "I can't believe the both of you." There it was - the disappointment. The same kind he'd expressed to John, repeated here in the face of another friend.
     
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  11. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    Silence.

    "You gave him access to you, repeatedly, enabling the addiction. Both of your addictions,"

    Hear what he's saying? You're a cruel and awful enabler, Raphael. You did this. John would've been out of this by now, if it hadn't been for you. You are the reason he might never get a grip of this thing again. You and your lack of self-control. Look at yourself. You're nothing but a monster, Raphael. A monster, that's what you are.

    The disappointment, so crystal clear written onto Magnus' face, and it cut deep into Raphael's flesh and soul, even though he was, at this point, completely convinced, that he deserved that. It hurt. So much so, that Raphael completely didn't register the way, Magnus said him instead of the offered them. Bloody tears tainted the clan leader's cheeks an ugly shade of red, before seeping into the blanket. He diverted his gaze, his teeth clenched to let the sobs in his throat never see the light of day. They escaped him nevertheless, traveling through his whole body like violent waves, crashing against the shores in their useless attempt to break the stone.

    God, why are you even asking for help? You're so pathetic.

    When he spoke up again, it was bitter, and so full of self-loathing, it tasted like black oil on his tongue. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Because that's- that's what I am, right? A cruel and enabling abuser. A monster. I- I don't even-" He fought against the utterly audible tremor in his voice, against the tears and the drowning sensation in the back of his mind. But his voice slipped into a half-loud murmur, tears-drenched, and perfect to be forgotten about the next second - only that Magnus would not forget or ignore any of what Raphael said right now, as alarmed as he was. "Daniel was right, wasn't he? It was all my fault. And I was- I was never the one who needed protection. Because I hurt everyone, I care about, right?" And in the way he said it, it couldn't be more clear, that he believed every single word of it. More importantly, that it hurt to realize it.
    All the years of healing, of getting over the guy and the things he'd done to the vampire, calling it love - they all seemed irrelevant right now, with this lack of drugs in Raphael's bloodstream, and the only good father figure he ever had in life, being utterly disappointed in him. The vampire's mind was an easy prey for intrusive thoughts at the moment, and they didn't wait around for a better opportunity.
     
    #11 Raphael Santiago, Jan 1, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2018
  12. Magnus Bane

    Magnus Bane The Mortal Instruments

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    Magnus didn't know what he expected. His reaction, while not half as angry as it had every right to be, was still far from sympathetic. Not that it could be helped - this sort of thing, the shock of the implications of it - his reaction wasn't one he could immediately cover with a blank look or some calming words. This wasn't something to brush under the table and simply ignore and move past. It needed to be discussed, it had to be addressed, no matter how unpleasant.

    Except the bitterness behind Raphael's words, the ones he managed to get out between the sobs that shook his entire body underneath the blanket with was steadily staining red with the blood of his tears... that bitterness and self-loathing wasn't the reaction Magnus anticipated. Regret? Repentant? Defensive, certainly, but somehow he hadn't expected this. And it caught him so off-guard that his immediate reaction was to backtrack, to flip a switch to something more comforting to reign Raphael back in... but that felt too much like even more enabling, to pretend this wasn't a problem when it so clearly was.

    So even though it hurt, he knew he needed to be strong enough for the both of them just then. And it would be for the best. Raphael might not see it right away, but he'd realize it in the end. He had to.

    What the warlock did, however, was soften his expression the best he could, to something a little more neutral. His tone still held an edge to it, however. "That isn't what I said, and it certainly isn't what I meant to imply. I would never think those things of you, Raphael." He brought a steady hand up to the vampire's face, fingers trailing against the trickles of blood there, careful to avoid touching the metal of his rings to his friend's flesh even in the dark. "Stop thinking like that, it isn't going to help anything." It was easier said than done, of course, but in his current state Magnus imagined that simply telling him to stop might be enough of a shock to distract the thoughts, at least long enough for him to derail them and regain control of this conversation.

    "You aren't a monster, and you know it. I know it. And, God help him, John knows it too." Because if he thought for a second he was being used or abused in whatever twisted relationship the pair of them had, John would've sold Raphael out to Magnus in a heartbeat to help himself. But he hadn't - he'd protected that name because he was using Raphael just as much as Raphael was using John, and Magnus couldn't place blame on one that he wouldn't turn and place right back on the other.

    And that was where the warlock was stuck. In between two hurting friends, with no easy solutions, torn between very warranted anger at the choices that lead to this moment and an almost overwhelming sense of concern and empathy over seeing him in this state. The conflict was written all over Magnus's face as his eyes searched Raphael, as if willing the vampire to give him some sort of magical answer to every uncertain thought he had just then.
     
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  13. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    A bitter scoff left him. "Maybe you wouldn't." But it was clear enough that Raphael, in fact, would, and definitely was.

    All those years of practice and trying to do everything to not be that monster, seemed like an utter waste to him now. He had and still was doing all he could to be the least demonic vampire there was; he didn't trink from the vein, he only used encanto when it was absolutely necessary, he made it clear to his clan members that mundanes were not just a source of blood, but actual, living, breathing beings deserving of respect. Tanaquil's turning had never been something he had wanted to do, but even there, he was teaching her to hunt animals, and to keep her hunger under control - to not kill mundanes. It had to mean something, right?

    But no. Apparently, even the most morally good vampire could fall prey to their blood lust, and snap, and kill, and push a mundane deeper into an addiction.

    It was John's name, that finally tore him out of this spiral of self-loathing thoughts, back into the reality. His dark eyes found Magnus', staring at him for way too long to deny anything anymore. The silence hung heavily on Raphael's shoulders, and even the soft touch of his friend's hand on his cheek couldn't ease the feeling of suffocation he felt, despite his lack of need to breathe. "You- You know?!" Well, but what exactly, except that John was involved in it? "I- I mean, you knew about- this deal? About me- feeding on him? He has told you?" For a moment, Raphael wasn't even sure how to feel about that. Was he shocked, that John had apparently told Magnus but not him? That the former sailor had sold him out to his best friend? "When?" was what he asked then, a certain, tear-drenched anger in his voice and feeling bitter betrayal in the back of his throat.

    He probably deserved that too, all things considered.
     
  14. Magnus Bane

    Magnus Bane The Mortal Instruments

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    There was nothing that Magnus could say just then that would change the circular rut that Raphael's mind was stuck in. It was nothing but blame, nothing but pity and just enough anger, all aimed at himself and his actions, and no matter what Magnus tried to convince him it wasn't going to be enough. He knew that this was going to take one late-night conversation prompted by the pain of withdraw - this was going to take days, it was going to take weeks, to try and find a way to set things straight with the vampire.

    And Magnus wasn't about to shy away from a single moment of it.

    "I didn't know it was you," Magnus admitted. "Not until just now. He never gave up a name, not in all the times I begged him to tell me. I had no idea what I was trying to work with - what sort of vampire, from what world, and what properties the venom in question may hold. But even though it would help me to help him, he never once gave any hint that it was you." Magnus wasn't sure why the need was so strong for him to make sure John's loyalty was the first point he made. Maybe because it was so important to John that he keep the secret, that Magnus didn't want to sell those efforts short.

    "But he came to me a little over a week ago in... well, not quite as bad a state as you are now, but not very far off." Magnus refrained from sharing just then that John came seeking for a way to rid himself of the addiction to the vampire venom, not sure Raphael's fragile state could handle the idea that John may have actively been trying to separate himself from all of this.

    "He called on me for help the same way you have tonight." He didn't want Raphael to blame John just as much as he didn't want Raphael to blame himself... but then who did that leave? "Please, just let me help you. Tell me what you want me to do."
     
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  15. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
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    "He never once gave any hint that it was you."

    Even if the voices whispered, that he would've deserved it, Raphael believed Magnus that John hadn't told him who that vampire in question was. Some tiny bit of hope clung to the idea that the loyalty they shared was a mutual one, even though they hadn't explicitly talked about it. And even though Raphael knew how low John's pain resistance level was. If John kept Raphael's name a secret, despite being in pain, then, well, then it was serious.
    It would've warmed his heart, had it been any other situation.

    Raphael nodded slowly. "Alright." Maybe that was also the reason, why Magnus hadn't shown up here earlier, despite Raphael barely responding to his text messages.

    It hurt to know John had needed Magnus' help to ease the pain, the vampire was inflicting on him - even if just partly. But at least he wasn't feeling as bad as Raphael was right now, apparently. That was- good. John deserved to not sink any further into this mess. Diverting his gaze, the vampire suddenly murmured: "I haven't seen him in two nights. I hope he's alright.." They had made it a rule, that Raphael would not contact John to ask for a meeting. Or, actually, Raphael had made that a rule. Simply, because asking John for a bite would only encourage the other to allow himself to fall deeper into this addiction. The clan leader knew how much power he had over the other - and at this point, he still cared enough to not abuse that power.

    There was a long pause, before the vampire looked at Magnus again. He had wanted the other to ease the pain in his veins and thaw the ice in his bones, but now that the warlock offered - again - he still hesitated. It was pathetic, right? Wanting help was pathetic, because he brought it onto himself. Wasting Magnus' magic even though he would indulge in John's blood again, was exactly as pathetic. That he had let it come this far without asking for help earlier? - Probably the most pathetic thing.

    And yet, he couldn't help but push the blanket down, off of his upper body. The deep blue cardigan he had halfheartedly draped over his shoulders and chest to warm himself up further, was definitely John's and not his; Raphael had taken it from him - after asking for permission, mind you - to have at least something that smelled faintly like the blood he was craving. It helped to keep himself afloat for a bit, in between bites.

    "It hurts,"
    the vampire finally admitted, his voice weak. "Everything hurts, and I'm not sure if I ate something since I last saw him." A lot of things were blurry these days, and he was glad he was at least 80% sure it had been two nights since the last bite.
     
  16. Magnus Bane

    Magnus Bane The Mortal Instruments

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    Raphael seemed less angry, and at least it was a step in the right direction. He seemed to accept that John had kept whatever he told Magnus to a minimum, which was true - all of the details Magnus had were about John's involvement and reactions to things specifically. His pain, his addictions, the issue with the heroin... all things that concerned John, while never telling him that the vampire on the other end of his recounted story was also suffering.

    Magnus hadn't thought to ask. To him it was just some nameless, faceless vampire, preying on a human who didn't know any better. He imagined they were feeding daily, out there somewhere, if not on John then on someone else, and hadn't even considered the possibility that John's withdraws would be mirrored on the other end of things.

    "I'm sure he's fine." Magnus said, somehow managing to sound far more confident than he felt. He hadn't seen John in quite some time either. He really did hope that he was alright. Maybe he would make it a point to track him down once he left here.

    ...if he left here. Raphael's response of pain hunger was one that left Magnus already starting to rise to his feet, a swift and sure movement. "I'll heal you first, the best I can. Then I'll go get you blood. You have to eat something, it'll help you heal what my magic can't, at least a little." Raphael would have plenty of time to speak to Magnus leaving for blood or not while he healed him, which was something he had no say in. But if he didn't want the warlock to leave, even if it meant getting him blood, then Magnus would stay... at least for a little while longer.

    "Just try to relax," he said, bringing his hands up to rest a mere inch away from his chest, pouring as much energy as he could afford to lose into any and every form of healing that might be useful. "We're going to get you better." He knew that his healing magic wasn't the strongest, and that while it could mostly only help with the pain and some of the lesser side-effects of the withdraw, it was better than nothing. He had to try all he could to help his friend -- it was, after all, why he came in the first place.
     
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  17. Raphael Santiago

    Raphael Santiago The Mortal Instruments
    the strongest card in the deck is the ace

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    In a way, Raphael felt as if he should've known that John couldn't bear this alone. That he needed someone to confide in, because he couldn't deal with it on his own. He should've known, that talking about it to a friend, to Magnus of all people, made sense, in the way that the warlock was- well, a warlock - a being, experienced in all sorts of supernatural folks. If John had the chance to do so, he would use it, being an opportunist and all.

    And yet, in a way he was sure was not okay, Raphael felt a bit betrayed. He had kept it a secret for far longer, it seemed, and only now, where his last fix had been two nights ago - only now had he told Magnus, because he knew warlock magic would help with his pain. Because he couldn't endure it much longer without going crazy.

    Then again, John had a far lower pain resistance level than Raphael had. Maybe that was the reason.

    "Maybe he's stopped?" the vampire suddenly said, with his eyes fixed to the ceiling as Magnus worked his magic on him. That would be good news. That would make everything easier. If John had found a way out of this mess, the clan leader would finally be able to focus on getting himself out of it too, now that the immediate danger of John dying or running off to someone else, was over.

    Maybe that was only wishful thinking though.

    When Magnus was done for the moment, Raphael breathed in deeply and felt generally a lot better. "Thank you," he breathed out, opening his eyes to look at his friend. But when the warlock wanted to leave to get blood, Raphael's hand was around his faster than he could make a step - though he was careful to not touch the rings if he could avoid it, and slipped his hand to Magnus' wrist rather. Just to be sure.

    He wanted to ask him to stay for a minute longer before getting that blood, but his attention shifted to the wrist he was holding; the steady heartbeat he could feel pumping blood through the man's veins. It grew louder in his ears, louder and louder and louder...

    Only when there were suddenly fangs painfully pressing against the inside of his lower lip, did Raphael snap out of it, and released Magnus' wrist as if he had touched burning iron. It took him seemingly all his willpower to retract his fangs before looking up at the warlock. "Yes. Blood. Good idea," he pressed out from between his lips, and swallowed hard, quite scared of himself at that point.
     
  18. Magnus Bane

    Magnus Bane The Mortal Instruments

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    "Perhaps," Magnus said, though he highly doubted it. John didn't seem as if stopping any time soon was something he planned on doing, no matter how many times Magnus tried his best to convince him that it really was the best option - to promise to help him through any withdraw, through the side-effects of cutting the drug out of his life. But it wasn't enough, and Magnus couldn't force him to do something like that against his will. It had to be his decision, or he'd never stick to it.

    And now the same would go for Raphael. His own addiction to John's blood was something he would have to quit on his own. Now that Magnus had all of the information he could help the both of them much more effectively, or so he hoped. And this was far from the first time that Raphael came to him for help -- perhaps he was more likely to listen to Magnus' advice than John was. Again, he could only hope.

    Magnus stopped using his healing magic when he could feel himself begin to grow weak. He wasn't particularly strong at healing spells and they took more out of him than anything else - he wanted to make sure he didn't leave himself too strained to do anything else, like open a portal to and from town to get blood.

    That was, if Raphael let him go. The hand on his wrist had a surprisingly strong grip for the shape his friend was in, and Magnus remained where he was, staying still and watching the expression on Raphael's face change in the dim light of the phone. Though he saw the signs of his fangs appearing at just the thought of blood, his hands on Magnus' wrist still, the warlock remained where he was and did not flinch away, though his pulse did quicken ever so slightly at the idea that Raphael might be beyond a point of controlling himself, even here and now, alone with him.

    But with some effort he did gain control again, and removed his hand, agreeing that it might be best.

    "I'll be but a moment, I swear." Magnus said, opening a portal and disappearing through it. The swirling light closed behind him and he was only gone for a matter of three, perhaps five minutes maximum, before a portal opened again and he stepped back through carrying a blood bag in one hand and a glass in the other.

    "I wasn't sure which you'd prefer, so I brought both," he said, knowing that Raphael would be able to smell that 'both' meant both human and animal blood.He did feel slightly guilty for the theft. But this was, after all, an emergency. And human blood would give Raphael much more strength than animal blood -- and it wasn't as if he was avoiding it anymore, if he was regularly drinking from John, and who knew who else. But maybe he wouldn't want to, if he was trying to wean himself off of it.

    Honestly, Magnus wasn't sure what was right anymore. He didn't know what to do, what was best... but he was doing his best.
     
    #18 Magnus Bane, Jan 14, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2018
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