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Complete Pls Ask Before Petting My Cock

Discussion in 'Centria' started by Eliot Waugh, Oct 9, 2018.

  1. Eliot Waugh

    Eliot Waugh The Magicians

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    [​IMG]


    October 2nd, Year 108
    Open!



    The farm air - oh. my. god.
    Eliot didn't know why he's thought it a good idea to walk all the way here just for some decent carrots, really, but clearly he hadn't paused long enough to truly think about this.
    Because it had been a bad idea. A terrible, terrible idea.
    He was having flashbacks to times he really didn't ever want to remember, which was why his steps were so hurried across the muddy (it ruined his beautiful shoes) path which would lead him back to Ark City, where he really wanted to get back to as soon as possible.

    Bag of carrots in hand, and trying hard (mediocre, fine) not to look all too disgusted by everything around him, the magician was hurrying along the pathway minding his own business.
    That was, at least, until there was a sudden sound behind him that reminded of steps. Heavy steps.
    Eliot paused, slowly turning around, expecting to find some angry farmer chasing him or something, but instead -

    "What the fuck....?"
    There was something yellowish-grey and weird looking in structure planted right there in the mud behind him. Two of them.
    And they weren't moving anymore.
    With a frown, Eliot followed the yellow things with his eyes upwards, where eventually a ball of feathers followed and -
    "Oh my -...cock."
    It was a chicken. A black and white feathered rooster.
    Those "yellow things" were the legs of a chicken. But not the kind that's been chasing him he's been chasing through the fields in the childhood he refused to acknowledge. No, this beast was about a hundred times as big in size, and it was following him.

    Well, so that just happened.
    Swallowing and adjusting the collar of his coat, Eliot slowly turned around to continue on his way. Ignorance was bliss, they all said, and was there really a gigantic chicken following him when he said it wasn't ?
    But there were the footsteps again, hurried, closer now, and closing in steadily.
    Clearly, this wouldn't do.
    Abruptly, Eliot paused again, turning around towards his feathered admirer.
    "Stop. Go away. I don't need you."
    Shockingly enough, the chicken couldn't have cared less.

    Instead it paused for only a moment, before suddenly doing nothing other than running towards the magician, who realized quickly that being squished by a giant chicken foot was definitely not how he wanted to die.
    Instinctively, Eliot raised his hand, performing a quick, rushed spell with a motion of his fingers, and abruptly the chicken came to a halt a mere step away from him.
    The breath he's been holding escaped him a little shakily.
    "All this stress will give me premature wrinkles..."
    The words were mumbled under same shaky breath, as Eliot stared at the chicken and wondered just what the hell he was supposed to do with a now-mind-controlled 20 feet tall chicken.

    He definitely wasn't keeping this thing.


    _______________________
    _______________________​


    Half an hour later, Eliot was entering Ark City with a 20 foot tall chicken.

    Thanks to magical (harmless) mind control, the beast was following him loyally, but no matter how much he tried, a 20 ft tall chicken was quite something, and chickens weren't exactly known for being the most careful walkers.
    Ark City was a busy place with a lot of buildings, and while Eliot realized he wouldn't be able to keep that thing in his garden, exactly, he couldn't really take it anywhere else at the moment, either.

    Overall, the entire situation really promised trouble.
    And he didn't have to wait long for that trouble, either.

    There was an ugly cracking sound behind him, and Eliot winced in dawning realization of what had just happened. Really, he wanted to just keep going once he's turned around to see that his gigantic chicken had stepped into someone else's garden and ruined the fence and likely whatever else was in same garden - but sadly, he and his beastly chicken weren't exactly given a chance to sneak away in more-or-less silence.

    The door to the poor person's now-ruined garden swung open, and Eliot mumbled a swear under his breath, wondering just how the hell he was supposed to explain the situation now.
    "Uhm....do you have a moment to talk about gigantic chickens in your neighborhood?"
    Offering a wide smile, the magician turned around gracefully to face the probably upset owner of the garden.
    How was that spell about memory erasure again?
    Oh wait.
    There wasn't one.
    (None he knew how to perform, anyway).

     
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  2. Abigail Hobbs

    Abigail Hobbs Hannibal

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    Abigail had been wandering since she'd been separated from Hannibal, getting by however she could. When she passed a home with a garden, and no one else around, she hopped over the fence and knelt down by the plants. Surely no one would miss a few vegetables. Maybe they'd assume an animal ate them. She almost felt like an animal; she certainly felt like one without the luxuries her father figure had provided. She reached her hand out towards the plants, imagining them roasting alongside a giant chicken in a gourmet oven. She was about to pick one when she heard a strange noise.

    Abigail looked up and saw a literal giant chicken approaching. She figured she must have been hallucinating. She also had powerful instincts, especially where the strange events of Pandora were concerned. There could be some strange beast that her hungry mind was letting her see as poultry. She ran behind the house in the hope that the back door was unlocked. When she couldn't open the door, she stayed put, trying to hide as she heard the sound of giant chicken steps.

    Abigail peeked back around the house slowly, when she heard someone approach. She was preparing to run if it was the home owner or some kind of authority figure. When she saw it was Eliot, she walked over towards him slowly. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't remember her from the party. It felt like it had been so long ago; so much had changed since then.

    When he spoke, she looked at him with utter confusion. His words indicated that it really was a chicken. "Is it yours? I thought magic guys were supposed to have cute, fluffy, little bunny rabbits as pets." She joked, not mentioning that it wasn't actually her garden or even her neighbourhood.
     
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  3. Eliot Waugh

    Eliot Waugh The Magicians

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    Frankly, having somebody show up and throw an actual bible at him would not have surprised him - though in this world it probably wouldn't have been a bible, but rather some kind of ..strangely shaped..uh... carrot?
    He didn't know, really. And that was the main issue - anything was possible, and this time, for once, Eliot wasn't looking for trouble, and thus would much prefer not to stumble into it, either.

    Ever since the apocalypse though, it seemed he's had more luck than ever before (which was likely only an indication for a catastrophe soon to catch up with him, but hey, he was a simple man, he'd take what he could get), and apparently that luck was sticking around for the time being.
    Because the young woman who approached him was not a yelling housewife waving a pan at him dangerously, cussing like a Texan prisoner.

    "Abigail! Oh it's good to see you, sweetheart."
    He pulled the girl in for a brief but tight embrace if she'd let him.
    The party had been a while ago, and it had been a disaster, really - he hadn't seen the girl since, and frankly hadn't chatted as much with her during that party as he perhaps would have, had Steve not been around (he was too easily distracted by beautiful men, clearly, sue him). But after the whole world-ending-thing, it was a positive to surprise to see any half-way familiar face, especially so when it was the face of somebody he genuinely thought to be nice.

    Casting a glance towards his feathered, tall company, and back towards Abigail, the magician laughed nervously.
    "That? Ahaha, no. No no, it's not mine. What would I do with a chicken, really. This size, too. I'd take a fluffy bunny rabbit over this thing any day of the year. Uhm... no, this eh - it just followed me around, so I decided to take it along until I can figure out whom it belongs to."
    That was true enough, really.
    Though Eliot had no idea how anyone could have possibly lost a chicken as tall as a small fucking house.

    Speaking of houses -....
    Frowning, he glanced towards the home that this garden belonged to, finding some details not quite adding up about the situation.
    "Do you live here?"
    Sure, the world ending had messed up a lot of things, and suddenly people were wealthy or poor or actual robots or whatever. But this seemed a bit too big a house for that girl - and she didn't strike him as somebody who'd design her garden the way this one was designed.
    Or... had been designed, before a 20 foot tall chicken had come along.

     
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  4. Abigail Hobbs

    Abigail Hobbs Hannibal

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    Abigail welcomed the hug and wrapped her arms around him just as tightly until he let go. It was a tremendous relief that he recognized her from the party and remembered her in a positive light. "It's good to see you too." She had to fight back happy tears. There would be no getting weepy around him this time. She focused her attention on trying to memorize every detail of the moment. Happy memories seemed hard to come by lately and details other than the massive chicken might slip her mind if she wasn't careful.

    Abigail shrugged and glanced to the chicken and back to Eliot, chuckling at the absurdity of it. What would anyone do with such a creature? "It'd be a really amazing feat if you could pull him out of a hat. Or maybe you could have Pandora's loudest alarm clock. When that guy crows in the morning, it must wake everyone." She gave it a moment of thought. She'd traveled through a few places, wandering through places in the hopes of seeing Hannibal, and never seen any place that could house giant roosters. "You're very calm for having chicken-zilla following you around. And even calmer that you'd want to find his owner. I can't imagine how big that farmer is."

    Abigail shook her head. She was a good liar, and a part of that was knowing what lies would be too easily detected. She couldn't invite him inside for a glass of water or to use the washroom if he asked. It was best to be honest. "No, I don't." She moved her hand through her hair, then soothed out a few wrinkles in her shirt, trying to look like she had a home somewhere. He mind began exploring ways to cover the truth if he asked more questions.
     
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  5. Eliot Waugh

    Eliot Waugh The Magicians

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    For a moment he thought to have seen tears shimmering in the girl's eyes, and he'd be lying saying he didn't understand where those were coming from.
    Everything was such a mess, it was good to see somebody who was familiar, somebody who was liked, too.
    In some way to comfort the girl, Eliot grasped her hand, giving it a soft squeeze - he didn't know what she's been through what with the world ending and all, but he wouldn't want her to feel alone in this place.

    When Abigail mentioned the chicken possibly waking everybody in the neighborhood in the mornings, Eliot realized he had not, in fact, considered this yet.
    For a moment he stared up towards his feathered company; he didn't think his neighbors would be very approving of a chicken yelling them out of bed when the sun rose. So he had to figure out a way to prevent that from happening.
    He probably would have frowned at the bird for a little while longer, if Abigail wouldn't have spoken again.

    Chicken-zilla. Beautiful. Maybe he should just call it Zilla, too.
    Chuckling somewhat nervously, Eliot felt a little stupid for not having considered the issue of how big the farmer likely was, either. But frankly, he's felt much calmer before having considered any of those complications.

    Trying to calm his own nerves, he waved off Abigail's words with a dismissive but friendly sound, and a wave of his hand.
    "I'm sure it's just a normal sized chicken that's magically been enlarged for some reason. I just need to figure out a way to make it undone again."
    This was definitely more likely than an actual gigantic chicken - but mainly, Eliot was just hoping that it was more likely.

    But enough of that chicken. He couldn't change anything about it for the time being, so there really was no use trying to get behind the whole matter this instant, either.
    When Abigail confirmed his suspicion that she did not, in fact, live here, the magician looked at the girl for a moment, but decided not to ask what she was doing here.
    It was none of his business, and he didn't think Abigail to be somebody who'd steal or break into other peoples' gardens and/or houses if she didn't have good reason to do so.
    Perhaps she didn't have a place to stay at all - the apocalypse had left enough people homeless.

    Instead of nudging her to spill what was the matter though, Eliot just offered another warm smile instead.
    "How about some lunch at mine? Once... I found a place to safely park chicken-zilla here."
    It was the least he could offer, and he had a feeling the girl could really use a warm meal and perhaps a hot shower, too.

     
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  6. Abigail Hobbs

    Abigail Hobbs Hannibal

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    Abigail had to chuckle too, at his causal words. He made solving the chicken dilemma sound so simple. "Oh, that's all. Of course. Maybe you just need to wean him off his diet of magic beans and wonderland cakes. Or keep away from magic growth ray guns and find a shrink ray instead." She said with a teasing grin. It had to be more complicated than his words had suggested.

    As Eliot looked at Abigail, she felt certain he was already curious and beginning to suspect the truth. There would be questions directed at her at any moment. She could almost feel it. At least he didn't seem the type to report her to the authorities.

    Various lies ran through her mind. She could claim she was visiting a friend. That could backfire if he knew anyone in the neighborhood. She could say she was working there as a gardener. Her clothes were already a bit dirty and she did know a bit about growing plants. It brought bad many memories of Hannibal's 'gardening' with the snails. In her mind, that had destroyed her family. And she had no gardening tools with her. That was the wrong lie.

    Whatever story she told had to be as reasonable an explanation as possible. She could tell Eliot she was out for a walk, saw the chicken moving towards her, panicked and try to hide by the nearest house. That could work; it had an element of truth in it. That always helped with credibility. She could add in a few details to really sell it. She was formulating the perfect story when he invited her to lunch instead of asking her anything further about her presence in the garden.

    "I'd love that." She replied honestly, with a relieved smile on her face. Real food, the chance to eat indoors and friendly company sounded like a dream come true. All they had to do was find a massive chicken coop.
     
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  7. Eliot Waugh

    Eliot Waugh The Magicians

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    Male
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    Directory:
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    Abigail's amused and teasing words made the magician roll his eyes with a soft laugh. Well, she wasn't wrong exactly. It would probably be more complicated than that but he had to stay optimistic, right?
    Otherwise what else was he supposed to do with that chicken.

    However, there was relief in the way the girl agreed to join him for some food, and Eliot didn't bother asking much more. He knew that perhaps it would be smarter to do so, to ask, to figure just what the hell Abigail was up to around here anyway. Christ, for all he knew she was selling weird herbal drugs or something.
    But it wasn't any of his business, and currently he had this gigantic chicken to worry about, and that was definitely quite enough to be worried about.

    "Fantastic. I hope you like pasta with fancy names too difficult to pronounce."
    The perks of being a magician. He didn't need to know how to pronounce the dish, or how to even cook it, really. All he needed was the recipe, a little bit of preparation, and a spark of magic.
    Though fairly, he's ruined his food with magic before as well. Yet it was also worth noting that it had been quite a while ago, and he was way more skilled now.

    "It's just a few streets down from here - I'll park chicken-zilla behind the house, I'm sure my neighbors won't mind."
    Translation: Even if my neighbors do mind, I don't give a flying fuck

     
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  8. Abigail Hobbs

    Abigail Hobbs Hannibal

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    Abigail smiled at the thought of it. "I really do actually." Many of Hannibal's dishes had been difficult to pronounce. There were some she had never even heard of before with fancy ingredients that she wouldn't have even been able to afford on her own. As for Hannibal's other ingredients, she was glad she wouldn't have to taste those - but she did miss the rest of his meals. A fancy pasta dish would really truly satisfy her right now. She'd be grateful for anything though. Even right of the box mac'n'cheese with cut up hot dogs would seem delicious at this point.

    "You must have very understanding neighbours." Abigail chuckled. She could imagine Hannibal's reaction with his many disapproving looks. He'd possibly enjoy a chicken-based delicacy as he watched it through the window as a subtle notice to the the neighbours not to let it venture onto his property. Even Will might have a sarcastic quip and a dry chuckle.

    She was letting herself think of them too much. That part of her life was over now. They were gone and Eliot was here. She needed to change the conversation and refocus her thoughts. "Have you been living in this area since everything changed?"
     
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  9. Eliot Waugh

    Eliot Waugh The Magicians

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    Very understanding neighbors?
    Weeeelll... he wasn't too sure about that. He didn't really know most of them. After all, since Pandora had messed everything up, all of his neighbors were pretty new. Which left it up to debate whether it would be a good idea to piss them off with a giant chicken.
    But he'd take his chances.

    Nodding down the street they had to take, Eliot started walking towards their destination, matching his steps with Abigail's.

    Have you been living in this area since everything changed?
    "Since everything changed" was a nice way to put the apocalypse. But he guessed he could appreciate the subtlety of the phrasing.
    The world ending was not something he was too fond of remembering - he didn't think too many of those who've experienced it, were.
    To him, at least, it was less mind-wrecking than to some others. After all, he was aware of the fact that different dimensions and timelines existed. That was nothing new for him. Made it a little easier to wrap his head around the whole thing.

    "Yeah, woke up in a new big flat, suddenly had my own business running, too. Discovered I am the owner of some fancy office in town."
    He shrugged lightly - he was aware that he's gotten out of this pretty lucky.

    "Wasn't too bad for me. What about you? Was the apocalypse good to you?"
    Looking at the girl he had the suspicion that the answer was a heavy no, but it seemed fair to ask regardless, if only to give her a chance to rant about it to somebody should she feel the urge to do so.

    Turning the corner, Eliot stopped a few buildings down in front of a several story apartment complex on the more wealthy side of town.
    With a few complex hand gestures towards his giant chicken companion, he guided the bird to a garden slash yard of green that wrapped around the side of the complex, where the chicken stayed without complaints.
    Once he was certain the bird was where it was supposed to be (he'd take care of this tomorrow, it would be fiiineeee), Eliot fished out a set of keys and unlocked the front door, holding it open for Abigail to let her in first before nodding towards the elevator.

    "8th floor."

     
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  10. Abigail Hobbs

    Abigail Hobbs Hannibal

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    "That sounds great." Abigail commented genuinely. It was a nice idea that someone had actually managed to achieve their dreams. It provided a tiny bit of hope, after her dreams for the future had fallen apart. "Is it a business that you enjoy?" With the way things worked in Pandora, he could have been made president of a basket weaving operation. Of course, for all she knew Eliot loved weaving baskets in between magic acts.

    Abigail shook her head, reminded her of situation and her smile disappeared. "No. I lost everything." She could have learned to live without the comforts of Hannibal's house and their possessions, continue on and rebuild their lives if her surrogate father was there with her. It was the support and love that she missed. Being alone was wearing her down and draining any motivation to do anything beyond surviving. "I lost my family. Again." Only this time, she didn't know what had happened to them. Hannibal and Will weren't dead like her parents. There'd be no closure, just a constant wound of grief. "They're just gone."

    Abigail focused her attention on the buildings around them, looking at each one and imagining the kind of people that lived in each one. It looked like a nice part of town. For a moment, she let herself believe that Hannibal was inside one of those apartments. She pictured him sipping a nice glass of wine, next to a gourmet cheese tray. Any second now, he'd look out the window, see Abigail and call her to a new home. Of course that didn't happen.

    She nodded and walked towards the elevator. Eighth floor. He must have a nice view. She pressed the button to open the doors and stepped inside, waiting for Eliot to join her before she pressed the button for the eighth floor.
     
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  11. Eliot Waugh

    Eliot Waugh The Magicians

    Posts:
    180
    Gender:
    Male
    Race:
    Human/Magician
    Age:
    24
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Good
    Directory:
    link

    He definitely knew he's gotten lucky, and he couldn't say he didn't feel bad for Abigail's loss. Losing everything could include a lot of things - people, too.
    Giant chicken or not, it only made him all the more certain that he wanted to at least provide some lunch for the girl. And in the end... well, he had a big enough apartment. If she'd want to, she could stay in the guestroom.
    But that was all for later.

    "Oh yeah, it's a great business - and my office looks fabulous. I'm... somewhat of a therapist, you might say. A life therapist. I help people achieve their dreams, re-organize their wardrobes, become happier. All that kinda stuff. Something akin to a life-coach, I guess."
    He's never done it before. Not for money, anyway. But he couldn't deny he liked the work - it was fun. But who would complain being paid for throwing their opinions at someone, really?

    He let a moment of silence pass before glancing over to his company. This place sucked balls, and it were such moments that really made him realize that for good.
    "I'm sorry."
    Because he didn't know what else to say, but he meant it regardless. Reaching out and giving Abigail a reassuring shoulder squeeze.

    Eliot magically bound his giant chicken to the backyard behind the house, and eventually followed Abigail into the building, the elevator taking them to the 8th floor, where he stepped ahead and, fishing out the key from his pocket, unlocked the right door.
    It was a spacious, tasteful apartment - Eliot had style. And that reflected upon his choice of interior design. And yes, he did have a nice view. In fact, he had a pair of wide, ceiling-high windows that provided a view across a part of the city surrounding them (and the giant chicken now occupying the yard).
    With an inviting motion, he let Abigail step in, pushing the door shut behind them. With a snap of his fingers, the kettle in the kitchen switched on and Eliot hummed a melody to himself, stepping out of his boots and walking into the kitchen.

    "Please, make yourself at home. Or help me chop some onions, whatever you prefer. There are also chocolates on the coffee table if you want any."
    He hadn't had anyone over in a while, and something about having Abigail here now was.... nice, for lack of a better word.

    The pasta wouldn't take too long, and maybe he'd really offer her to stay for a night. Or however long she'd need to. It wasn't like he didn't have space. It wasn't like she had anywhere else to go.

    But first - tea and music.

    The End

     
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