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Private The Lost One's Weeping

Discussion in 'Elysium' started by Ayano Tateyama, Jun 1, 2019.

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  1. Ayano Tateyama

    Ayano Tateyama Kagerou Project
    Red is the color of a hero

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    Beyond the evening glow, I painted my feelings into a poem of regrets


    June 23rd

    Throught the month of June, Ayano felt numb. Whatever happened, good or bad, she felt like she wasn't really there. Like she was watching everything from afar, even though she was right there, talking to people, doing things... it was like everything was fake... the exact kind of belief that the Circle had imposed on her.

    The thought of it was terrifying.

    Yet, despite everything, she continued living. She was out of a job now, so she kind had to rely on Scott to keep things going from now on, which added to the guilt she kept feeling regarding everything. Thinking deeper about it, if she was really feeling that much guilt, then it wasn't that she was really numb to the world around her.

    It was just that the guilt was curbing most of those other feelings.

    But still, she made her way over to Elysium, intending to meet up with Shiro as if nothing had ever happened. It had been a whole season without the two of them talking to each other and Ayano didn't really offer an explanation for it, merely a "sorry that I haven't responded all this time, I was just really busy" as if that vague answer was going to satisfy anyone. Still, she acted like everything was alright and scheduled a day for them to meet again after all this time.

    And that was today.

    Ayano arrived and knocked on Shiro's door. She tried to steel herself, preparing to keep a smile on her face and try to act like she always did. But then her thoughts started to drift. What would Shiro think of her if he learned of what she had done? If he knew how many people she ended up hurting? About just how much of a failure she was when all she was trying to do was protect a little girl from possibly being kidnapped?

    She hadn't even met with the man yet, but already Ayano was fighting back tears.



    @Takashi "Shiro" Shirogane
     
    #1 Ayano Tateyama, Jun 1, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2019
  2. Takashi "Shiro" Shirogane

    Takashi "Shiro" Shirogane Voltron: Legendary Defender

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    Cascade Bay
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    Human
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    25 (+2)
    Alignment:
    Lawful Good
    It was true that the two hadn't spoken to each other in an unusually long time. Shiro felt guilty he hadn't made more of an effort to really see his sister in the beginning, and when she hadn't responded for a long time he had visited the mainland of Pandora in the hopes of finding her. He'd come up with nothing, no leads, just disturbing tales of things that were happening in Pandora, like a cult of some sort that left the paladin feeling sick to his core. Shiro didn't like the sound of it at all and it left him with a feeling that did not sit well with him at all as he had returned to Elysium. He'd briefly spoken to Hunk too, who, Hunk being Hunk reassured him that Ayano was okay, wherever she was, and no one knew better than they did how Pandora usually worked.

    Even then, Shiro had a feeling his little sister hadn't been returned to her own world.

    The day he had received the brief message letting him know she was alive was reassuring, though the lack of details as to where on earth she had been all this time made those ill feelings resurface once more for the paladin. But he'd been all too happy to sort out a day where Ayano could come and see him, just him for now, the other paladins could catch up with her a little later, he was sure. For now he wanted that bubble of honesty he shared with his sister and had missed in her absence. As Shiro waited for the teenager he paced back and forth, remembering how one of their last encounters had been so different, the two of them playing around together, echoes of lighter, happier feelings. It all felt a little foreboding now.

    The knock sounded a lot louder in his head when it came and had Shiro jolting in his pacing, staring at the door for a good moment or two before he was sighing to himself. He pushed his doubts and worries aside, training his mouth into a smile before he opened he door, his smile faltering the minute he saw Ayano. It wasn't her shaky, faux smile, neither was it the silence that held between them, but it was the look in the teenager's eyes that had Shiro forgetting how to breathe for a moment. He knew that look, that unbearable guilt, the shame, the loneliness, fear. There was so much more there but he was terrified to look further, feeling his heart aching already.

    "Ayano..." He called, his eyes going from widened to softened as he reached stepped down the front steps towards his sister. Holding back his own tears, Shiro carefully reached for his little sister's hand and pulled her inside the safety of his home, shutting the door behind them until he was left turning to look at her once more. Stepping closer, the man wrapped his arms around the teenager and lifted her slightly in a hug, clutching onto her as he closed his eyelids and let silence fall between them once more. She was alive, but Shiro knew better than anyone that some things were worse than death.
     
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  3. Ayano Tateyama

    Ayano Tateyama Kagerou Project
    Red is the color of a hero

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    Beyond the evening glow, I painted my feelings into a poem of regrets


    Shiro greeted her at the door and Ayano could tell immediately that he already knew. He knew that she wasn't okay, she had made it so obvious it was kinda pathetic, but from the moment that she saw him she knew that there was no avoiding it. She had managed to keep herself together around others, even somewhat so around Scott although he already knew everything, but here? She couldn't help herself.

    "Shiro..." she muttered, trying really hard to fight back her tears.

    She offered no resistance when Shiro pulled her into the house. When he pulled her into a warm hug, one that she had missed during the last three months where she was nothing but a pawn, that was the last straw that caused the waterworks to flow. Ayano buried her face on Shiro's chest as she cried, wrapping her arms around him so tightly it was like she was afraid he would vanish if she loosened her grip even slightly.

    "I've... I've hurt so many people..." she admitted between sobs, her voice so full of regret, guilt and shame that it had been reduced to nothing but a pained whisper.

     
  4. Takashi "Shiro" Shirogane

    Takashi "Shiro" Shirogane Voltron: Legendary Defender

    Posts:
    323
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Paladin/Bartender
    Location:
    Cascade Bay
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    25 (+2)
    Alignment:
    Lawful Good
    Shiro felt his sister fall apart in his arms then and there. He could feel the pieces she must have tried so hard to piece together crack and peel apart, leaving the teenager to unfurl and become undone as tears begun streaming down her face. As if he was trying to hold her together himself, Shiro's own grip tightened on Ayano because he was terrified she was going to break so much no one would be able to piece her together again. It took the elder but a split second to make the decision he did, one arm reaching down to gently sweep her off of her feet, keeping her smaller frame curled up in his arms as he walked through to the lounge but didn't stop there.

    Instead he walked up the stairs with Ayano still crying against his chest, saying nothing until he reached his own bedroom and even then, after the door was nudged shut with his foot and he'd sat down with her on his lap at the edge of the bed, he didn't say anything just yet. Instead he kept one arm around Ayano's waist whilst the other rested at the back of her head, keeping her safe though he felt useless knowing it was earlier he should have been trying to do such a thing for Ayano. Now, was it too late? Shiro's breath hitched at the thought. No, this wasn't it, this wasn't the end. She was here, sh was alive, she'd come to him, she needed him now more than ever.

    When Shiro thought he'd let her cry just enough he brought both of his hands to her face, coaxing her to look at him as he swiped away the seemingly endless tears with his thumbs over her cheeks.
    "Look at me, Ayano." He tried, voice cracking a little with emotion before he swallowed thickly, hoping perhaps it would allow his throat to loosen from how terribly tight it was feeling, his own tears barely blinked back from the brink of falling.
    "Who did you hurt...? How did you hurt people, Ayano? Talk to me. Tell me what happened." Shiro encouraged, arm tightening around Ayano once more before he shifted them back, allowing himself to prop his back against the pillows and headboard of the bed. There he held his sister a little more comfortably, grabbing a couple tissues from the beside draws before he was lightly dabbing over her cheeks and eyelids.

    "I'm here now... Your big brother is here and everything is going to be okay. I promise." He was unsure of what exactly had her feeling so... distraught and claiming she had hurt people, but Shiro had every faith in his words. Things were going to be okay, maybe not now, maybe it wasn't even that comforting to hear, but he'd still make sure Ayano was feeling even a little better before she would leave the paladin's home.
    "Come on. Before you make the leader of the paladins cry all over again."
     
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  5. Ayano Tateyama

    Ayano Tateyama Kagerou Project
    Red is the color of a hero

    Posts:
    684
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Barista
    Location:
    Munhall Arch - Midcourt
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    17 (+1)
    Alignment:
    Neutral Good
    Directory:
    link

    Beyond the evening glow, I painted my feelings into a poem of regrets


    Ayano wasn't sure what Shiro was doing, but she offered no resistance. Her vision was blurry because of the tears and she had absolutely no reason not to trust her big brother. She simply kept holding on to Shiro as he brought her over to his room, eventually finding herself sitting on his lap at the edge of his bed. It was like he was a father tending to his distraught child, something that Ayano would've found very embarrassing under normal circumstances, but right now she just couldn't bring herself to care.

    She looked up at Shiro as he began asking the obvious questions at the same time that he took a tissue to clean up the mess her tears had made. Now that she had let out the bulk of her repressed emotions, Ayano found herself slowly calming down, her breathing becoming steady and her mind becoming less foggy.

    "Over three months ago, I was... tricked into joining a cult. I let my guard down and then I... they did something to my head. Made me loyal to them in spite of all the terrible things that were being done, it was almost as if I had been turning intoo some kind of robot..." she wiped some more tears that were coming out with her sleeve, sniffling. "I... I had a role to fill in there. I was the one who was supposed to be the voice, the one who would convince others to join their cause. The one who had to keep the morale up and take care of the children that were taken in by them. I was just convincing people to let themselves get brainwashed and... if they didn't get convinced..." She looked down and pressed her forehead against Shiro's chest.

    That was the point where Ayano stopped. This was where her eye ability came in and the story behind that was a very long and painful one. Not as painful as what had happened with the Masked Circle, but still an unpleasant thing to discuss. Yet, she knew that if she were to say anything about it, there would be at least unspoken questions. Maybe this was finally the time for her to tell Shiro about herself, tell him why she could understand him in a way that likely few others could in spite of their different situations.

    It was just... a lot to unpack at once.