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News Article The Pandora Turnip #1

Discussion in 'Pandora News' started by Prompto Argentum, Sep 26, 2019.

  1. Prompto Argentum

    Prompto Argentum Final Fantasy

    Chaotic Good
    September 26, 109

    Edgy Political Part
    Cascade Bay political scene on fire after the disappearance of the former governor, disappearance of the head of their military force, and those exact people showing up in lower positions like a week later. Reports show that none of this really matters since other people are running things now - but still. You good, Cascade Bay? Do you wanna talk about it?

    New Hot Trend Totally Not Inspired By Cascade Bay
    Make a big mistake in your life? Tired of literally everyone? Go missing for a week and come back pretending to know nothing. Everyone will just accept it, and you can basically start your life over.*
    *Being able to lie forever required.

    Local Man Quits Job to Start Over
    "This can't end poorly," local man states, staring at his bank account drop by the second, "It'll be good for me," he whispers, moments before disaster.

    Drowning in Spandex
    Local criminals tired of the pure saturation of "good guys" with super powers that seem to be everywhere.

    "What if I just want to mug someone in an alleyway?" complains local scum, "Why does someone with laser eyes need to come for that? Why are there so many of them? Why do they all automatically know where I am?"

    Pandora Citizens Tired of Weird Bullshit
    "I just want my life to be a quiet coffeeshop AU," sighs local hipster, "Why do I now have a bedtime to avoid waking up in a horror movie? Why is everyone cursed? Why does Atlantis keep changing? I'm so tired."

    Pandora Disappearances Linked to Inactivity
    A pattern of people not doing anything for awhile - shortly before disappearing, has been occurring within Pandora for quite some time. Citizens of Pandora are encouraged to randomly bump into someone on the street or walk down a dark alleyway to be mugged, to avoid disappearing.

    #1 Prompto Argentum, Sep 26, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2019
    Han Solo, Thalia, Teddie and 20 others like this.