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Private what doesn't kill you

Discussion in 'Elysium' started by Kylo Ren, Nov 22, 2019.

  1. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    1,342
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Elysium
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    29
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral


    nov 20 – @Leia Organa @Han Solo

    He paced. He sat. He got up and paced again.

    They were coming. He could feel it from miles off, his mother especially, and drawing nearer. Rey had told him that they knew, and knew where he might be found– at her ship, where he'd been spending a lot of time as he helped her look for apartments, pretending like he wasn't just waiting for this moment. Rey had gone off, to assure their privacy, but he almost wished she'd stayed. He felt like he was losing it, his heart hammering in his chest like a hammer on an anvil as he could only wait for them.

    His mother and father. Together, coming to speak with him– to put to rest the lie that Luke had planted. And then... he didn't know. He wasn't sure exactly what they'd been told. But if they believed this would be a joyful, heart-warming family reunion, they would be sorely disappointed. He certainly had no hope for such a thing. He had no interest in playing the lost son come home for them, pretending that the past hadn't happened. He wouldn't. He would look them in the eye and he would tell them, even if it meant losing them. Again. Even if it meant their hatred, forever. If it went that way, it would be earned, and he would bear it the rest of his life.

    At least, Ben Solo told himself that as he realized they were close, approaching the ship. That he would have the strength to tell the truth. But he had no idea– even as he'd imagined every horrible possibility, he felt certain– how this would go.

    At the last moment, he took a deep, shaking breath and walked to the ship's door, lowering the ramp that led up to it. Then he hit the switch, and it hissed open in time for two figures to appear just ahead. His lips twitched towards a smile, just in greeting, but no peace or ease touched his dark eyes. Those only watched, taking in the sight of them; together, young, oblivious as to just what breed of monster they approached.

     
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  2. Leia Organa

    Leia Organa Star Wars
    Hope is like the sun

    Posts:
    90
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Councillor of Intelligence
    Location:
    Elysium
    Race:
    Force Sensitive Human
    Age:
    23
    Alignment:
    Neutral Good
    Directory:
    link

    Leia felt as unprepared for this as her son unknowingly did. All of her training, everything she’d learnt could not have made her feel ready. This wasn’t another one of her many meetings where she discussed Elysium policies or negotiations with other regions. This was her son. Their son.

    She wasn’t under any illusion this would be easy, nor would Ben likely want to welcome them with open arms. She had kept replaying the day they’d met over and over in her head – how casually she’d dismissed him, although she knew even then something was not right – he hadn't felt like a mere stranger.

    There was also what Luke had told her, what Ben had done to his fellow students. Is that why her brother had lied? Because he thought he was protecting her, or was it a cover for his own guilt and regrets? Rey was right in telling her the truth. Even she and Han hadn't been on the same page and it had taken days for them to try to somehow wrap their minds around it all. She still wasn't sure she had.

    Leia found herself gripping Han’s hand tightly as they approached the ship; she could feel him now. Even if she wasn’t experienced in the Force, the bond they shared was undeniable.

    She took a breath as the ship’s door began to lower, but it caught in her throat at seeing her son, a ghost of a smile on his face that never reached his tired, worried eyes. Now she knew just where those dark hued orbs came from.

    Leia couldn’t help but see him through a mother’s eyes now, and, whilst she tried to keep her face pleasantly neutral, the emotions she felt weren’t so easily tied down. “Ben,” she spoke aloud before she could stop herself, letting go of Han and taking a few steps towards her son, so she could see him better, but not enough that he might feel overwhelmed.
     
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  3. Han Solo

    Han Solo Star Wars
    Captain of the Millennium Falcon

    Posts:
    94
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Smuggler
    Location:
    Elysium
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    32
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral
    Directory:
    link

    Han hadn’t felt this nervous in a long, long time. He had a little bead of sweat going down his temple, and his palms were clammy. Han never even had a regular conversation as a parent before, let alone a conversation like this. He didn’t know how they’d begin. How they’d end. What was even the goal of this conversation?

    It was Leia’s idea to come talk to Ben—“Kylo Ren” as the kid liked to call himself, but it was a terrible name and Han would never use it. Han tried reasoning with her, mainly out of fear. The smuggler would much rather have buried the knowledge of the existence of his son in the back of his brain, avoided the man for the rest of his time in Pandora, and moved on. But the Princess insisted they go, so he went. He knew it was just as hard for Leia to process all this as it was for Han, and he hoped this conversation would offer her some closure on it all, if anything. Maybe she’d feel better once everyone’s feelings weren’t just floating around in the air.

    Half of Han’s original anger towards himself, knowing he’d someday be a failure of a parent, was now redirected at Ben for the terrible choices he made in life. That was the main reason Han didn’t want to see him, because he was angry. The only reason the smuggler wasn’t about to start in with a screaming match was because on top of his anger was confusion and doubt. A tiny sliver of him wanted to believe Luke was lying and maybe their son was really just a good person. After all, Han never saw any of it happen for himself, all he was going off of was the words and stories of other people.

    The thing that was so puzzling to Han was that from their little awkward encounter at Starbucks, Ben seemed like a pretty normal guy. A bit shy and a liar, but otherwise normal. He didn’t look like a killer, not from how Han remembered him.

    He squeezed Leia’s hand right back, thankful at least for the fact that he wasn’t doing this alone. Leia was a strong person, especially with her words, maybe sometimes even more so than Han—after all, she was a politician. He knew that in this conversation where Han would be struggling to put his feelings into sentences, she would do just fine.

    Up ahead was the ship Rey told them Ben would be in. Here goes nothing, he thought to himself, taking a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heartbeat. Like he knew they were coming, the bridge lowered. Han saw the figure of that man he’d met only once before: His son.

    The couple stood at the bottom of the bridge, Han watching him with empty eyes, while Leia let go and approached him. He didn’t want her to get any closer, scared of what he might do if Luke’s stories were true, but he didn’t stop her.

    He watched Leia walk up to Ben, and suddenly a pang of sadness struck Han’s chest. Even if she was trying to hide it, Han could still see her grief. It only ignited Han’s resentment towards this man. How could he do this to his mother?

    The smuggler lingered at the bottom of the bridge, gaze flicking to the dark haired man. He didn’t skirt around the point of their little confrontation. ”Is it true Ben?” he asked, firm but slightly melancholy.

     
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  4. Kylo Ren

    Kylo Ren Star Wars

    Posts:
    1,342
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Elysium
    Race:
    Force-Sensitive Human
    Age:
    29
    Alignment:
    Chaotic Neutral

    Leia broke off from Han, and took several steps toward him; Ben remained where he stood, stock still, his heart pounding in his ears. Those achingly well-known eyes, the eyes of his mother, betrayed her emotion: her grief, her sorrow, maybe regret. She spoke his name, cutting through him like a blade, and he tried to summon something to say, anything– but his father beat him to it, cutting straight through to... well. What they were there for, he assumed.

    Ben swallowed. "I'm not sure what you know," he replied, voice low. Rey hadn't told him all of the details that had been shared, if any, and he had no idea what Luke had planted in their minds about him. If they knew everything, though, he suspected they wouldn't have come. "But I am your son. And I did leave the Jedi." He glanced between them, feeling mentally distant from what he was saying. As though if he allowed himself to feel it, he would speak no further.

    But his eyes landed on Han. On his father's eyes; his eyes. "I fell to the Dark Side. I failed you both, and Luke. Is that what you want to know?" His words were far from confrontational; he felt more as though he were reeling off facts. There would be much more to dig up, if they wanted to know the whole truth. But he could assume those were the highlights, as he let out a slow breath, lips pressing together.

     
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  5. Leia Organa

    Leia Organa Star Wars
    Hope is like the sun

    Posts:
    90
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Councillor of Intelligence
    Location:
    Elysium
    Race:
    Force Sensitive Human
    Age:
    23
    Alignment:
    Neutral Good
    Directory:
    link

    Leia knew this was harder for Han to deal with - he’d met their son too without knowing, although he’d given his true name of Ben that time. She understood his frustration, she was too, but she knew the failure mostly started with the parents. Her own biological father was enough proof of that.

    She heard Han behind her, getting straight to the point, though she never took her eyes off her son, who stood as still as a rock. What Luke said about him leaving the order had been true, then – even if he’d lied about other things. So…he had truly murdered people?

    His gaze fell on Han, as he continued to speak. Leia shook her head. “You may have fallen, which is something I would never want for any child of mine.” Like Ben, her words were more as though she was stating facts, a politician’s voice. However, emotion crept into what she said next; this would be hard for all of them to hear, especially Han, but she’d been thinking it ever since that day Rey had unravelled what reality she thought she knew.

    “But…we, as parents, must have also failed you, for you to feel that was the only option you had.” She turned to look at Han, willing his support on this.
     
    #5 Leia Organa, Dec 4, 2019 at 2:53 PM
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2019 at 4:14 PM
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