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what the fuck (cont'd)

Discussion in 'Pandora, Year 1 - 7' started by Alyssa, Apr 21, 2018.

  1. Alyssa

    Alyssa Guest

    [​IMG]
    April 2nd @Tom McNair


    She was fucking steamed.

    More than that, Alyssa was scared, but she wasn't about to admit it. So she settled for being pissed off that Tom wouldn't tell her what the fuck was going on. And the funny thing was, she'd actually been worried about him. She'd thought maybe the screams she heard in the woods were him and that he'd fucking died. Now she was convinced he knew more than he was letting on, mostly because he went all quiet as soon as she started asking about the Thing That Attacked Her.

    She knew what werewolves and vampires and those sorts of things were in the same way that anyone who paid attention to horror films did. She'd seen Ginger Snaps and mostly thought it was shit, and like don't even get her started on fucking Twilight. She hadn't actually bothered to watch the latter but she'd heard enough obnoxious squealing from the girls at school to know that she'd hate it. The possibility that she'd turned into some kind of supernatural creature didn't even cross her mind, though, because... well that was crazy, right?

    It was well past nightfall when Alyssa showed up at Tom's house. At least, she was pretty sure it was his house. It was the same address that was on his ID, anyway, which she still had because she'd never actually had the chance to return his wallet. She was holding the aforementioned item in one hand, and with the other she reached up to pound on the door with the side of her fist.

    "Oooh, Tommy!" she shouted in a falsely sweet tone, her actual anger belied by the sheer volume of her voice. Since... well, it probably wasn't possible to actually shout nicely at someone.
     
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  2. Tom McNair

    Tom McNair Being Human

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    He felt sick to his stomach when he heard her voice outside. Jim wasn’t home yet, to Tom’s relief, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be home any second now and he didn’t want Alyssa to be there when he was. He had a feeling they wouldn’t exactly hit it off.

    And then he would have to explain himself to somebody else. What made him feel worse wasn’t the fact that she was here at all, but the why of it.

    Tom knew what he had done.

    Bursting through the front door, there was a look of wide eyed urgency on his face. “Stop, y’being loud, stop!”
     
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  3. Alyssa

    Alyssa Guest

    He came bursting threw the door and Alyssa dropped her hand. She didn't look at all fazed by his wide-eyed urgency. She tilted her head to one side and blinked innocently at him.

    "Oh, am I?" she shot back, and made absolutely no attempt to lower her voice. "Gee, I'm sorry. I don't mean to bother you with the fact that some fucking monster tried to kill me when I followed you into the woods, and now I'm waking up naked covered in blood." She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

    "This must be so inconvenient for you." Fucking asshole. Why wouldn't he tell her what was going on? What was his problem?
     
  4. Tom McNair

    Tom McNair Being Human

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    The more she vocalized what had happened, the worse he felt. As though there could have been some sort of ignorance in silence, but instead, she reminded him and reminded him. Attacked in the woods a month ago. Waking up in the woods naked a month later.

    He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. And he wanted her to go away.

    “Okay— Okay, I’m sorry, jus’— jus’ come inside, please,” he practically begged, and already the downward turn to his brows were making him look like some sort of kicked puppy as he backed into the house again, waiting in horrified anticipation for the worst as he held the door open for her.
     
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  5. Alyssa

    Alyssa Guest

    With a huff and a roll of her eyes Alyssa stepped by Tom and into the house. She glanced around but didn't really take anything in, just turned back to face him with her arms still crossed. She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

    "So? Are you gonna tell me what happened or do I need to start shouting again?" She stood with one side of her hips canted up, and one foot even tapped out an impatient cadence against the floor. Tom knew. He fucking knew and he tried to blow her off. What the fuck was wrong with him? Who did that?
     
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  6. Tom McNair

    Tom McNair Being Human

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    A small part of him had hoped she would just suddenly change her mind and turn to leave. Like she’d just suddenly realize she had no idea what she was doing here and had better things to do. Tom didn’t really know what those ‘better things’ could have been when you were mauled by a werewolf and then ended up turning into one a month later, but he wasn’t thinking about all of this logically either.

    Slowly shutting the door, Tom turned back toward her, a deep frown on his lips accentuated by the natural downward turn of his bushy brows. “No, please don’t shout, it was-- it was my fault,” he admitted, but he knew that statement wouldn’t make any sense to her. And he didn’t know how to elaborate. How did you tell somebody that you were responsible for attacking them? How did you tell somebody that you had turned them into a werewolf?

    He hadn’t killed her, but that wasn’t any kind of silver lining. This was a nightmare, was what it was.

    “Alyssa, I’m so-- I’m so sorry, I--”
     
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  7. Alyssa

    Alyssa Guest


    She watched him shut the door behind her, hugging her arms close to her chest and scowling all the while. The scowl deepened when he spoke and she pursed her lips.

    ...it was my fault.

    What? No. That wasn't right. How could it have been Tom's fault? She still hadn't come to the conclusion of were old, despite the evidence. She didn't remember anything from that night that she blacked out. Just that there was a huge chunk of time missing and she'd woken up naked in the woods with blood all over her.

    "What the hell are you talking about? Of course it wasn't you, I saw it. I just want to know what it was!" She grimaced and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. "I think it, like, gave me something. Like a disease or... I dunno!" She threw her hands up in the air, a gesture of frustration and helplessness.
     
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  8. Tom McNair

    Tom McNair Being Human

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    He hated this. He hated listening to her confusion, he hated listening to her describe what had happened that night, the attack, the monster, the disease it had given her. It wasn't that she wasn't listening, it was that it was so unbelievable to her. And he didn't know how to say it, he didn't know how to tell her what had happened.

    "Do y'got a scar on ya since then? Like ..." Tom hesitated and then turned in a circle, lifting his hand to the back of his head where there were the those distinct scars piecing apart his hair in the back as they trailer down his skull. They stopped before his neck, but continued along the length of his back. Alyssa had never seen that bit before, but Tom wasn't oblivious to people staring at the obvious scars on the back of his head. Nobody had ever asked about them before, and if they did, he'd never really known what he would've said.

    She wouldn't have one, though. From that night. She wouldn't have some kind of scar somewhere, and Tom couldn't help but hope that she wouldn't. That maybe this was all some big mistake and none of that had actually happened at all.
     
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  9. Alyssa

    Alyssa Guest


    She stared wide-eyed at the scars that he showed her, her gaze moving over the raised, knotted flesh. She swallowed over a throat that had gone dry and reached home to push her shirt off her right shoulder, barring the still-pink, distinctively bite-mark shaped scar tissue. It was like something had tried to take a bite out of her neck. Which.. it had. She remembered that. Woke up screaming sometimes. Not that she'd ever tell anyone.

    "What's going on? What's happened to me?" In stark contrast to her volume before her voice was suddenly quiet and small. She was afraid, and there was also something heavy and sour in the pit of her stomach. Dread, maybe, like she knew that what it was, it was bad.

    Like, really fucking bad.
     
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  10. Tom McNair

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    A sort of dread came over him as she pushed her shirt off of her right shoulder, showing that distinctively bite-shaped mark to him. Tom swallowed thickly. Probably visibly, and it was taking every bit of self control he had not to cry, which honestly wasn't a lot at all given the wetness he could already feel at the corners of his eyes. This was everything he had ever feared, this was everything he had tried to make sure would never happen.

    If McNair could see him now ...

    "It was-- I--" How could he possibly put it into words? Nothing about it was simple even though it should have been a really simple thing to say.

    "You're a werewolf," he suddenly said, but quietly, and Tom couldn't even bring himself to look her in the eye now. Maybe she'd laugh and think it was a stupid joke, or get mad because she thought it was a stupid joke, but Tom only wished it could have been a stupid joke.
     
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  11. Alyssa

    Alyssa Guest

    Silence met Tom's declaration. Alyssa stared at him. At first she looked confused and uncertain, as if maybe she'd misheard him and she was trying to work out what he'd actually said. Then understanding dawned, and she had to struggle with herself. Disbelief was the first and strongest emotion, but there was also a small voice in the back of her head saying it made sense. Pointing out that what she'd been attacked by had certainly been man-wolfish. That little voice asked what other explanation there was for waking up naked in the middle of the woods with a dead deer across the clearing, its belly apparently ripped open by her own hands judging from the amount of blood and gore that had been on them.

    That voice was quiet, though. Much quieter than the disbelief and the anger that rose with it. "What the fuck are you talking about?" She stepped closer to Tom and reached out to wrap her hand around his upper arm, fingers squeezing. "Do you think this is a joke?" Her voice and pitch rose with with incredulity, with anger, with just a hint of fear because what if this wasn't a joke?
     
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  12. Tom McNair

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    MADE OF ALL THE LITTLE BONES
    of our fathers

    Of course she didn't believe him. If he weren't panicking himself and if he were less trapped in his own head, then maybe he would have seen the gears turning in her mind, the way she was considering the possibility that it was true. All he could think about was how impossible it sounded, how crazy she thought he was. And all he could think about was what he had done to her.

    Oh god. Oh god, he'd done this to her and she didn't even understand what that meant.

    Her hand on him, fingers squeezing into his arm, took him back surprise and he jumped a little bit, his own panic setting in. "No! No, Alyssa, it ain't a joke, it's-- I'm a-- I'm a werewolf, Alyssa, an' I-- I was-- It was a full moon." He was having trouble stringing his sentences together and it was taking all of the self control he had not to just lose it, to start crying. This wasn't about him, this was about her, but Tom was young and he was alone in his condition and suddenly, he had no idea what to do.

    "Alyssa, m'sorry, I didn't mean t'-- I didn't mean t'hurt ya."



     
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  13. Alyssa

    Alyssa Guest


    She could feel a bubble of hysteria rising in her throat, threatening to spill out and she wasn't sure if she was about to start screaming, laughing, crying, or a ridiculous mixture of all three. Tom's obvious panic and anxiety only made her angrier somehow. Alyssa was the victim, not him, and he was here blubbering like a fucking infant while Alyssa was just trying to get answers.

    Answers that she was starting to realize she might not actually want.

    "Wait." she squeezed his arm harder and stepped closer, her expression hard and angry. "Are you saying that you did this to me?" She was pretty sure that's what Tom had said but she wanted to be absolutely sure.
     
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  14. Tom McNair

    Tom McNair Being Human

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    MADE OF ALL THE LITTLE BONES
    of our fathers

    The reaction was instantaneous as it finally sank in what he was trying to say. Alyssa’s hand tightened around his arm and she stepped closer, Tom’s eyes still wide as ever. What could he say? How could he make this better? There wasn’t any ‘better’, though. This was it now. He had hurt her, she was a werewolf now, and there wasn’t anything that could be done to fix it.

    And all Tom wanted was to fix it.

    “Yeah … yeah, it was me, I-- I did it, I didn’t mean t’, but--” And then he broke down into tears, and it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair to Alyssa because she was the victim and he was the attacker, he’d done it, it was his fault. But he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t stop himself just like he couldn’t stop his worst nightmare from coming true.



     
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  15. Alyssa

    Alyssa Guest

    The tears and sobbing took Alyssa off-guard. She stared at Tom for a long beat of silence, her mouth slightly parted into a startled 'o', her expression flickering between outrage, confusion, and awkwardness. Finally she stepped forward and grabbed him by both shoulders and gave him a shake.

    "Jesus Christ, stop it!" she exclaimed, and shook him once more for good measure. "Stop crying!" Her hands dropped away from him. She pushed her hair back out of her face with one hand, cheeks puffing out with a sigh of exasperation and confusion. Like seriously, what the hell was she supposed to do with all of... of this?

    "You're a fucking mess, you know that?" Pot, meet kettle. She hugged her arms against herself and shifted her weight, brow furrowing in a deep scowl. "So like, how does all of this work?" she gestured between them with one hand in a vague kind of motion. She couldn't quite bring herself to ask how does being a werewolf work, but she hoped her meaning was obvious enough.
     
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  16. Tom McNair

    Tom McNair Being Human

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    MADE OF ALL THE LITTLE BONES
    of our fathers

    The sudden hands on his shoulders which promptly and forcefully shook him had Tom freezing, his eyes wide and looking a little stunned, his sobs having come to a sudden halt, though there was a sniffle here and there in all of his confusion. And there was a lot of confusion. Why wasn't she more upset? Or maybe she didn't seem as upset because he was so upset, but still-- still, he didn't really expect her to be there still at all. He expected she wouldn't shoved him away and left him there, and he wouldn't have even blamed her either because all he could think about now was what he had done and how horrible that was. And maybe she was thinking about that, too, but she wasn't actually going.

    Instead, she was asking him how it all worked and Tom, in his stunned state, didn't really put the incredibly obvious pieces together about what she meant. Instead, he just stared back at her, his mouth hanging open, blinking his eyes just a little bit more to further rid of them of those tears he'd been spilling a moment before. "What?" he finally asked dumbly, but then it sank in. Slowly but surely. The werewolf thing. How did being a werewolf work?

    He didn't know. He knew, but he didn't know how to tell someone, he didn't know how to teach someone, he wasn't ready for this at all.

    If McNair were here ... Tom just wanted McNair, he just wanted his dad to come fix this.

    "Uh, y-- y'turn once a month every full moon. I-- I can teach y'the chicken on a string so y'don't ... hurt no one ..." Tom trailed off, his big blue eyes staring hopelessly at Alyssa because he'd literally done exactly that. He'd done the chicken on a strong and it'd failed him miserably for the first time in his entire life as a werewolf. Lower lip quivering, Tom looked like he was about five seconds from caving and breaking right down again. Yeah, he was a fucking mess. And she was a werewolf. And they were probably both fucking messes.



     
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  17. Alyssa

    Alyssa Guest


    It took him a minute but he finally got himself together. Not that what he said really helped because sure, he answered one question but it was one she kind of already guessed because werewolves were a pretty standard supernatural thing, right? And if the once-a-month thing was true, were other things? Like all that crap about silver and wolfsbane and... what else? She was sure there was other stuff but she couldn't remember. It wasn't like she'd ever paid that close attention. Werewolves were props for horror films and shit, they weren't real.

    Except in Pandora they were.

    "The chicken-?" She cut herself off and shook her head because she really didn't want to know about that right now. Alyssa whirled away from Tom to pace back and forth. "So I'm going to turn into that... that thing once a month. And - what? The other twenty-nine days I'm totally normal? There's nothing else to it?" As if that one thing was a small thing, but she was grasping at straws at this point. But if it was just once a month, and she always knew what day it would be, it wouldn't be so hard to manage, right? She could just... go somewhere far in the woods and come back the next day and keep living whatever semblance of a life she'd managed to make here.
     
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  18. Tom McNair

    Tom McNair Being Human

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    MADE OF ALL THE LITTLE BONES
    of our fathers

    Oh god, now she was pacing. Somehow, the act of her pacing left Tom feeling a little bit less stable despite the fact that he wasn't even the one doing the pacing. Hell, he wasn't even the one who'd been attacked or suddenly turned into a werewolf. But he'd scratched someone, he'd hurt someone. Worse, he'd hurt someone he liked. Or maybe that wasn't worse. Maybe there was no such thing as worse, there just was. Whatever the case, he'd gone and done the one thing he was terrified to go and do.

    Despite everything, he couldn't even really imagine what it was like for her. Tom had been so young when he'd been scratched that he couldn't remember what it had been like to learn the ropes, so to speak. He'd been so young, in fact, that McNair had managed to trick him into believing he'd been born like this. He didn't know how to help her, he didn't know how to teach her how to be a werewolf.

    "Um-- uh-- mostly it's jus' that, but-- but y'might feel different. More ... angry or confident or-- or wild, I-- I dunno, I--" God, that wasn't what she wanted to hear. She didn't want to hear that he didn't know, she wanted to know what was happening to her.

    Confident. That seemed rich right about now, coming from him.



     
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  19. Alyssa

    Alyssa Guest


    More angry? As if she needed to feel more angry. She was always angry. All the fucking time. She stopped pacing to stare at Tom. He seemed pretty goddamn clueless about all of this. How was that right? He's the one who fucking turned her. If he didn't know what was going on, how could she ever hope to?

    She was a monster. God, she wished James was here.

    "Fuck this shit," she muttered, then suddenly turned on heel and stormed back out. If she had to look at Tom's stupid, clueless face for another second longer she was going to scream. Or strangle him. Maybe both.

    This fucking sucked.
     
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