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Whispers of a sinner

Discussion in 'Pandora, Year 1 - 7' started by Roy Mustang, Feb 12, 2018.

  1. Roy Mustang

    Roy Mustang Fullmetal Alchemist

    Posts:
    197
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    29/30
    Date- 10th February, year 7
    Tags- @Riza Hawkeye

    It was earlier than Roy liked to usually rise but that day, like the past few days it did not bother him at all mainly because he'd done little sleeping. He'd not been sleeping well and it was beginning to show, the dark rings beneath his eyes made him look like he'd been in a punch up. Roy was up and he knew he should eat, but the thought of food left him feeling sick. How could he eat when Ed was in the condition he was in because of him? As much as Ed tried to tell him otherwise, Roy knew the kid was mistaken, he was his commanding officer, so the blame lay entirely on his shoulders even when in this strange new world.

    His gaze dropped from the flames in his fireplace as he buried his head in his hands, he had to atone for his sins, his failures he just did not know how. Maybe carrying the burden of his failures was how he had to atone, he uncurled from the position he'd wound up in when burying his head in his hands and rose from his seat on the sofa, folding up the blanket he'd been wrapped in Then grabbing the spare pillows and the now folded blanket he shuffled them into on of his cupboards, before going towards the fireplace, lifting up the fire poker he used it to poke at the burning logs debating if he should shove another lump of wood into the fireplace.

    It was then he heard his front door unlocking and swinging open, he knew who it would be so he didn't move from his place by the fire, casually letting the flames warm him through. All the while knowing he let a scruffy mess in a white t-shirt and dark loungers, hair sticking up at all angles, pale gaunt face hooded by his shadowed eyes. But it was Riza, she'd seen him looking all kid of ways and he highly doubted this was the worst he'd looked around her, he didn't look away from the flames as he spoke to her, is voice clear but soft so as not to disturb the Elric brother's hidden behind his closed bedroom door"Good morning Hawkeye."
     
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  2. Riza Hawkeye

    Riza Hawkeye Fullmetal Alchemist

    Posts:
    249
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Soldier
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    27
    Alignment:
    Neutral Good
    Ever since Roy had moved Edward into his room after the rescue Riza had offered to let him stay with her, and though she could understand the reluctance in his acceptance- a short hallway between stone rooms was still hard to hear through- she still wished he would. Every day so far she'd come in and seen him in this state, half-dazed, utterly exhausted and filled with anguish, and every day she'd done what she could to help. There were times to push an issue and times to let things lie so there wouldn't be a scene- especially in such a delicate situation.

    Today she unlocked Roy's door with her spare key and stepped in, quietly closing it behind her and slipping the key into her pocket before turning to face him. His handsome face was lined with exhaustion, the bags under his eyes were deep and his skin was pale, the undertone sallow; his hair hung lank around his face, messy and untouched, and if he'd gotten any sleep or had anything reasonable to eat in days she'd have been deeply surprised. For a moment she felt a stab of guilt that she barely managed to keep from her face. She should have been here, looking after him- but Morhall waited, work had to continue and she had to keep things running smoothly. Even if this wasn't the worst state he'd been in, it was bad enough.

    After a moment she smiled though and nodded his way as she started toward him, offering him a soft smile and a look of concern. "Good morning Roy. Do you want me to start some breakfast?" she asked him in a politely quiet tone as she always did, reaching a hand toward his own to squeeze it gently. "I brought over some coffee for you to drink while you wait for the new pot to brew." With that she offered him the thermos.
     
    #2 Riza Hawkeye, Feb 12, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
  3. Roy Mustang

    Roy Mustang Fullmetal Alchemist

    Posts:
    197
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    29/30
    His gaze still on the flames she did not see how she took in his appearance, he did notice that she did not respond immediately to his greeting and so briefly he looked away from the flames, towards Riza. Catching sight of the smile she offered him as she finally moved towards him, finally answering him and he managed a tired smile in return, stiffly rising to his feet from where he'd been knelt in front of the fire. She was still speaking asking if he wanted some kind of breakfast and as she did so he noticed the concern in her eyes, he wished that wasn't there, he wished he hadn't noticed it. She was right in front of him now, taking one of his hands as she went on and he looked down at the thermos as she pushed it into his free hand.

    Carefully he took it, though the thought of drinking or eating made him feel physically ill after all how could he do any of that when he was the guilty party who had let such terrible things happen to Ed? He didn't deserve the food or water, he didn't deserve any of her kindness and he didn't have the right to wallow in his guilt either, he needed to look after Ed, get him back on track, then he needed to go back to the vampires lair to finish it. It was then he realised he'd lost focus and had been standing their looking at the thermos in silence, idly he lifted his head saying"Maybe start the breakfast, I was going to do some eggs in a cup with toast... Ed should be able to eat it, its nothing to difficult to get down... But if you want to start that gives me time to freshen up before I go wake the boys..."

    He knew Riza had been talking about breakfast for him, rather than for Ed but to avoid the conversation that would occur if he outright refused food he had directed the food conversation in a new direction. His gaze dropped onto the thermos in his hands and lifting it while he spoke he went on"And thank you for the coffee, it's very thoughtful of you... As always.." Again he was offering Riza a quiet smile, his dark gaze held the tiredness now rather than the upward curl of his lips.
     
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  4. Riza Hawkeye

    Riza Hawkeye Fullmetal Alchemist

    Posts:
    249
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Soldier
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    27
    Alignment:
    Neutral Good
    After so many years knowing each other, working together, and now they were together for as long as the world gave them to reinforce all of those little cues and that time- and he still thought he could fool her? If the situation hadn't been so dark she might have been amused at the sheer gall of it, or perhaps made some sarcastically humorous statement to that effect too. But with how he'd zoned out before, and how he took the coffee with that faint tension around his mouth that showed a hint of disgust, she had a feeling it would end badly. He wanted to put on a pleasant face, to act as though this was all for the good of the outfit. Generally his decisions were, after all. But not this time.

    He took the thermos anyway though and she watched him intently for a quiet moment. It wasn't that she didn't understand, or have the same sense of guilt deep down in her gut- that she could be doing more, showing her suffering with them. She could, and very easily. But it wasn't her place. She wasn't their commanding officer, as Roy was, or the boy's mother. There were times when she was required, by duty and by love for her pseudo-family, to swallow it until things were better, so she could be who they needed, not who she wanted to be. Whether they thanked her for it, she'd never know; she'd do it anyway, and take that chance.

    And right now, Roy needed her to be the person who wouldn't take no for an answer, before he dropped dead. So she nodded in understanding and left him stay where he was as she slid her hand away, a smile coming to her lips. "If you want to thank me, I'd appreciate some company as I cook. Though I'm insisting on making soft scrambled eggs, they'll stretch better that way," she told him with gentle firmness, gesturing at the chair by the counter as she moved to the kitchen and started to fill the kettle with water. "They can stand to sleep in, and if Ed's stomach can take eggs, yours can as well."
     
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  5. Roy Mustang

    Roy Mustang Fullmetal Alchemist

    Posts:
    197
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    29/30
    He could see he had not fooled Riza and yet he still hoped she'd go along with his words, let him vanish into his bathroom to freshen up or more likely to hide until he felt able to do more than be lost in his guilt. He could feel her eyes on him just as easily as the feeling of her hand sliding away and then she was speaking again, a smile on her lips yet he could see through that, he knew she was concerned but for once in his life he didn't know what to do. His dark, brown gaze wandered over her face as she now moved towards the counter and he followed, standing with one hand resting on the back of the chair at the counter the thermos forgotten in his hand.

    It was as she was filling the kettle with water that Riza was mentioning letting Ed sleep in and then she went on to speak of how if Ed could eat the eggs so could he. Roy's hand tightened its grip on the chair, but he said nothing, instead he shifted pulling the chair out and sitting in it. As he did so he remembered the thermos in his hand and put it on the counter, to one side he had not drank any of the coffee within it. His dark gaze was on Riza and finally he spoke, his voice quiet"I'm not sure I am the best company this morning Hawkeye... "

    His body was tense as he spoke and then his gaze dropped to where his hands rested on the counter and where now his fingers where tapping of their own accord against the surface as he went on "Unless you want my help with the cooking? After all you know Ed, he only accepts perfection!" Unable to remain sat he had risen from his seat even as he had spoken trying to act like his normal self, trying to cover up the moment of quiet speech from earlier by acting like it was only half of what he had meant to say.

    Deep within his head he sought for an escape, hoping Riza let him take over some of the cooking so he could keep his mind busy or tell him his help was not needed so he could escape to the bathroom where he'd be free to sink into his guilt free of attention. Both of these options he may be able to avoid eating without drawing too much attention to himself, just casually make himself to busy or scarce.
     
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  6. Riza Hawkeye

    Riza Hawkeye Fullmetal Alchemist

    Posts:
    249
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Soldier
    Race:
    Human
    Age:
    27
    Alignment:
    Neutral Good
    Well, she couldn't argue with the level of company he was being, but she'd rather have him as an utter downer than nearly anyone else at their best and that made it a poor argument. It was obvious that he'd rather have been anywhere else, despite his smile and the way his tone turned chipper toward the end, and she gave him the smallest quirk of a brow as she pulled a container of eggs from the cooler corner of his icebox and set them on the counter, then pulled out a large bowl to start cracking them in. And Ed was picky, and only ate the best? The boy had bolted down every non-milk food that ever came in his reach every time she'd seen him around it. Mustang really was off of his game.

    Nevertheless she couldn't help but wonder if she should just let Roy do what he wanted to do- to escape, or cook, or whatever might be easiest. But when had love, or anything else, ever been easy anyway? He was stronger than that, and he'd cope- just like she would. "I might not be the first-rate chef you are but I can manage scrambled eggs and toast. If Father managed to get it down, I'm sure you two can," she told him with a smile despite her firm tone, cracking the eggs into the bowl one by one- just in case he thought he could come in and prevent this from going forward the way she intended. "I even brought over some jam for it- and it wasn't easy to find."

    Turning toward him she looked at the thermos pointedly, then back at him. "If you're not going to have any, I wouldn't mind a cup of my own," she suggested steadily, tossing the eggshells into the trash canister and adding some evaporated milk and a little water to the eggs before she used a fork to whisk them up. At least now he had an out, if he really wanted something to do- and perhaps once he had some coffee in a mug, it might seem a bit more tempting to him.
     
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