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Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

Warhammer 40,000
Posts
30
Location
Wherever he likes
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Ork
Height
12ft
Occupation
Da Boss
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
u wot
Date: March 20th, Y110
Location: [REDACTED], later Ceres
Oh no, it's: @Victor Von Doom and later on @Brunnhilde too!

~~~

"So, lemme get dis straight, 'Umie. You 'eard about dis metal out in deez parts what's extra tough and you want a bunch of it fer yerself - but you ain't got yer own runts to go an' send after it, eh?"

Reaching up with his organic left hand, Gorgutz picked his teeth with a rusty bayonet one of the boyz had found. It was just the right size to get in between the finger-sized fangs that lined his mouth, and after a fine meal of squig-meat it did the job of picking free any leftover lumps perfectly. Before him stood the "umie" in question, a man who dressed head to foot in metal and seemed to like the colour green. At least he had good taste, Gorgutz thought to himself.

"Well, you's come to the right place. Got some boyz who need a bit of excitement, an' I know tonnes of ways to take stuff off runtz what ain't watchin' it proper. Question is, what's it all worth to yer? My ladz don't come cheap, y'know!"

And indeed the Warlord fully intended to drive a hard bargain. The thing with dealing with the smaller, runtier kinds of people was that you had to lay down the law with them. They all thought they were sneakier and cleverer than orks were, and that meant they tried to take liberties the instant you took your eye off them. Yeah, you had to be firm with 'Umies all right - and Eldar, and the Blue boyz, and...

Leaning forward slightly, Gorgutz grinned as his mega armour wheezed around him.
"Make it good, 'Umie, I likes to live da high life. Well? What 'ave you got fer me?"
 
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Victor Von Doom

Marvel Universe
Posts
297
Location
Latveria
Age
45
Species
Human (God Among Men)
Height
6’3
Occupation
Despot
Alignment
Lawful Evil
Relationship Status
Single
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Doom would describe Gorgutz as cunning, but in a brutish way the best imbeciles were, he could be ambitious, creative. But too stupid to actually post a real threat if he betrayed him. And the orcs were foolish and bumbling, but they could destroy, and that was exactly what they wanted. "A crass but not entirely incorrect summation." Doom knew he would have to wet the appetite of the brute and he made sure to bring plenty to get his small green monkey brain stimulated. He snapped his fingers and Doombots descended, dozens upon dozens carrying crates, some six times their size and ferried by a dozen Doombots just to support it.

Doom popped open one of the many crates he'd had his Doombots bring into Gorgutz' base, Inside each crate was dozens of simple but large high caliber weaponry, one hundred and eighty kilometers length of hollow point and full metal jacket rounds, seventy eight pallets of high yield explosive missiles, incendiary and painted yellow upon request. Over five motorcades worth of car parts. Machine rifles with enough kick to break a man's arm and magazines capable of holding over two hundred rounds, blunderbusses that melted whatever shoved into the barrel into genuine molten slag, thirty three gallons worth of Napalm, and the cherry on top, a massive, six barreled gattling cannon loaded with six separate belt fed 47. millimeter shells.

"I would assume....these are what you're interested in more than my coffers could offer."

 

Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

Warhammer 40,000
Posts
30
Location
Wherever he likes
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Ork
Height
12ft
Occupation
Da Boss
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
u wot
Well, well, well. At last, a human that knew what actually had value.

Yellow was Gorgutz' favourite colour at present - he'd gotten bored of red some years back - and to see all those lovely rokkits all bright and shiny filled his heart with something approaching glee. Reaching out to the biggest and most obviously destructive weapon shown, Gorgutz hefted the gatling cannon with his smaller arm and looked it over appreciatively.

"Fair play, 'Umie, you knows what I like. Dis one... dis one's mine. Anyway, I'll fink of a name fer it later. Right now, we got stuff to talk about."

Turning in his crude steel throne, Gorgutz bellowed and snapped his fingers. As if on cue (which it was), a small squadron of camo-covered orks emerged from the shadows.

"Deez ladz 'ere are the best kommandos I got. If anyone's gonna get you yer metal, it's dis lot. In uvver words, you got yerself a deal!"
 
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Victor Von Doom

Marvel Universe
Posts
297
Location
Latveria
Age
45
Species
Human (God Among Men)
Height
6’3
Occupation
Despot
Alignment
Lawful Evil
Relationship Status
Single
bce38de14e650a26e3d2b60a32476008b3a0dedc_128.gif


And he was pulled in just as Doom expected, his mask hid the smug smile of contempt he had for Gorgutz. Kommandoz, a proper squadron, one likely to leave no survivors. And with the armaments he had given them it should have been trivial. He looked over the orkz, they seemed to be the...most tactical of the orkz which he doubted was much, but they were the muscle he needed, the Doombots would be spotted and traced instantly but if anyone noticed ork pirates boarding a ship, that was just par for the course. ”I am glad you enjoy this tribute.”

He waved off his doombots and he turned to leave. “I wish for the ship to crash on Ceres, far from any of the settlements, I will take care of the salvage, when I have the metal the ships scraps are yours.”

Doom thought he’d sweeten the pot give the dogs the bones after his meal. Keep them loyal.

 
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Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

Warhammer 40,000
Posts
30
Location
Wherever he likes
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Ork
Height
12ft
Occupation
Da Boss
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
u wot
"Sure, 'Umie, sure. Far from all da uvver 'umie camps, whatever you say."
While it might have looked like Gorgutz was only half-listening - too interested in his new toys to care about the details - that was far from the truth. Well, some distance from the truth, anyway.

As Doom left, the ork warlord slowly looked up from his new shoota, a wry and decidedly ugly smile spreading across his tusked features. Yeah, he'd make sure his boyz crashed the ship, all right, and Doom would get his precious metal.

Of course, it would not be Doom who picked the lion's share. No way any runt was gonna get one over on Gorgutz.

"Skabgutz! C'mere, I wants a word wiv yer. You lissen to what dat 'Umie said about crashin' this ship of 'is?"
The Kommando boss sketched a (relatively) crisp salute and stood at (passable) attention.
"Yes, boss!"
"Good! Well, ferget all dat rubbish. I got a better plan I wants you to follow..."

~~~~~~~~

The orks may be a relatively blunt people, but they were in no way incompetent. Exactly three hours from leaving the docks, the cargo ship suddenly found itself under new management - bloodily, so as to make clear to the survivors what would happen if there was any trouble.

"Come in, boss! You there?"
The ship's comms array crackled for a moment as Skabgutz' very clever signal scrambler got to work. Then the dulcet tones of the Warboss came through, a little crackly but clear nevertheless.

"-ere, Skabgutz! How's it goin?"
"All accordin' to plan, boss! We got the ship, we's on track to get to Cee-rees in about anuvver hour, and we got yer special delivery all loaded up onto the escape rokkits. All in all, not a bad job!"

Gorgutz laughed, his voice buzzing like a hive of angered bees.
"Great! Dat's what I like to 'ear! Keep it up, and make sure nothin' goes wrong!"

Of course, neither Skabgutz nor his monstrous boss knew quite what was on the horizon. As far as they were concerned, everything was going pretty well, and indeed it would continue to do so - until the ship reached Ceres...
 
Last edited:
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Victor Von Doom

Marvel Universe
Posts
297
Location
Latveria
Age
45
Species
Human (God Among Men)
Height
6’3
Occupation
Despot
Alignment
Lawful Evil
Relationship Status
Single
bce38de14e650a26e3d2b60a32476008b3a0dedc_128.gif


Doom took one last look at Gorgutz, he thought he saw some signs of...cunning as if he thought he could trick Doom. But he quickly waved that possibility away as none of these creatures was intelligent enough to even try. So with a nod he snapped his fingers and he and his Doombots took off into the sky. He was make his way to Ceres and wait for his prize to be dropped in his lap.

- - -

Doom sat, one of his doombots on his hands and knees and working as a stool for the megalomaniac sorcerer king. He watched the patch of wasteland on Ceres he'd expected his prize to reach. It had only been an hour since it's scheduled takeoff so he suspected the commandos had to have taken the ship by now, he just wondered where the ship was at this point, all they had to do was a controlled crash landing. "Gorgutz best not disappoint." He hadn't killed orcs since his college days, and even then it was in Richard and Benjamin's board games. But it was starting to sound like a good stress reliever now.

 
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Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

Warhammer 40,000
Posts
30
Location
Wherever he likes
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Ork
Height
12ft
Occupation
Da Boss
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
u wot
Turning to his kommandos as he spoke to da boss, Skabgutz gave the signal to prepare for crash-landing. It was simple enough - they wanted to go in fast, but not too fast. Gotta look like an accident but not burn up the small pile of metal they'd left for the 'umie da boss had been talkin' to, right?

Dead simple.

"Okay, boss, we're gonna start da last bit of yer plan now. Krogg reckons we got fi... Fift... er, we got lotz of time before things really go bad, so we can probably see if dere's any uvver good stuff on 'ere worth takin' wiv us. What do you reckon?"

On the other end of the line, Gorgutz paused to think it over. On the one hand, they had everything they wanted - a tonne of new gunz, plus a healthy chunk of the scrap that Doom had wanted for himself. Things were going remarkably well, and it was never wise to push the luck given by Gork (or, possibly, Mork) too far.

On the other... there could be some good stuff on that ship.
"Awright. Take a quick nosey 'round, but don't be too long. Dis is all goin' great, an' I don't want it screwed up right at da end, you 'ear?"

Little did Gorgutz know that the complication he feared was already en route.

@Brunnhilde
 
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Brunnhilde

Guest
Her head was splitting. It felt like there were a bunch of little dwarves running rampant in her skull trying to figure out where the cracks were with their oversized, comical hammers. She had gotten a proper paid day the previous afternoon and then had promptly gotten wasted at some dive bar in space. It had been a good time and Brunnhilde remembered having to go to another bar halfway through because she got kicked out of the first. Someone had threatened legal trouble at some point, cops always made things messy, so the valkyrie had left almost willingly.

After the second bar though, things had gotten a lot more complicated and Brunnhilde couldn't remember very much. But there was a message reading on her screens that she had to squint at. Apparently a ship had been hijacked and there was a very large reward for anyone who was able to try to take it back and she happened to be drifting in that area already. The amount was more than enough to make the valkyrie blink a few times and do a quick, if completely incorrect, calculation on how drunk she could get off that amount.

It was more than enough for her to get her moving. Her little ship hit max speed and within twenty minutes or so, the ship was in her view. Cruising at a high speed as well, which made things far more complicated than it should have. Brunnhilde wanted to get on the ship so she could directly affect who ever was steering it. Her ship was not to be used as a battering ram but the amount of money on the table....

The valkyrie sharply turned, slamming her ship into the side of the other with her shields at max. Time to drive it off course as much as she could manage... or to chuck herself at it so she could get in another way. One way or another, she'd get the hel on that ship.
 

Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

Warhammer 40,000
Posts
30
Location
Wherever he likes
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Ork
Height
12ft
Occupation
Da Boss
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
u wot
"Ah. Boss, we got a problem."

It was the exact sequence of words Gorgutz detested most. Cursing into the radio receiver, he lifted it closer to his face.
"What in da zog do you mean, 'a problem?' Didn't I say dis was gonna happen?"
"Yeah, boss, yeah, but no worries - we'll deal wiv it!"

Then the radio went silent for a bit, leaving Gorgutz to his anger.

On the ship itself, Skabgutz moved quick. The main thing would be to try and get the stuff they'd got out of there, and leave the actual ship itself to its fate. That human the boss had negotiated with probably wouldn't be too happy to pick through the ruin it left when it crashed, but that was life.

The thing was, with the other ship ramming the cargo vessel every now and again, the thing was proving very hard to steer. Lurching this way and that as its highly inexperienced new pilots fought to control it, the cargo vessel was forced to slow down just to maintain its current flight path - slow enough that it could be boarded.

And there were now less than five minutes left before it would reach the crash zone. It would even be visible from there now...
 
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Victor Von Doom

Marvel Universe
Posts
297
Location
Latveria
Age
45
Species
Human (God Among Men)
Height
6’3
Occupation
Despot
Alignment
Lawful Evil
Relationship Status
Single
bce38de14e650a26e3d2b60a32476008b3a0dedc_128.gif


Doom narrowed his eyes as he saw the ship slowly coasting downwards towards the surface, he had expected that. But what he hadn’t expected was another ship. Seemingly trying to board the crashing ship. He stood off his doombot stool and motioned for one to hand him a communicator as he forced his way through to calling Gorgutz, he had given them everything they needed to avoid witnesses and now something was trying to steal his hall. He felt something, some ripples of familiar force. But he couldn’t quite place it.

“Gorgutz...I see the ship and I expected a crash which is what I see....but I also see a ship that isn’t one of yours. Have your Kommandos told you about this?” Doom kept himself calm but it was clear he was tense with anger.

 
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Brunnhilde

Guest
Her ship wasn't doing much to pull the wreck off course. Brunnhilde started cursing under her breath but the valkyrie was looking at the planet they were headed to. Could she survive a crash of that nature? Probably... maybe? Despite the fact that she had lived for thousands of years, Brunnhilde didn't want to die. Some might have considered it a cowardly portion of her nature but it had kept her intact a lot longer than the rest of the valkyries.

Brunn was also just a little bit crazy and full of herself, which meant she was flipping the protocols to get her ship to board the other. Or rather, for Brunnhilde to do the boarding. Her guns targeted the side of the ship where an airlock was and fired several times in short order, before Brunnhilde put her ship on autopilot and then made her way to her own airlock. A side hatch, not the main gangplank, and soon enough she was doing one of those crazy ass things that other people questioned her sanity over.

She threw herself out the airlock without any kind of spacesuit.

Her body slammed into the other ship just a few feet away from where she had blasted a hole in the side. The valkyrie then manhandled her way over to that very hole and into the resulting lock, easily finding footing despite the pull of space. She then slammed a fist through the panel of the other side of the airlock and shot it with a taser, causing the door to open up so she could stumble inside and take a deep breath of oxygen before slamming the door shut behind her.

Now she was on board. Time to turn the stupid thing around.
 

Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

Warhammer 40,000
Posts
30
Location
Wherever he likes
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Ork
Height
12ft
Occupation
Da Boss
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
u wot
"We gotta breach, Skab!"
Skabgutz cursed. Mork's sake, something always had to go wrong at some stage. Still, he was a perfessional Kommando, and improvisation was all part of the game.

"Right, you two wiv da big gunz, go an' give our new mates a nice welcome. You! Pass me dat Tankbusta Bomb. Da rest of ya, get to da shuttle an' get ready to leave dis scrap heap!"

The rest of the Kommandos leaped to it, and for a moment Skabgutz felt a moment of pride. The other boyz might snigger and laugh behind their backs, but he knew how dangerous a bit of actual discipline could be in the right hands.

~~

The comms unit flared up again, and Gorgutz yelled into the speaker as soon as he saw the red light blink.
"Lissen, you little- oh, it's you. Yeah, 'course I know!"

Great, that was all he needed, this stupid human breathing down his neck. Holding his rising anger in check, Gorgutz spoke slowly and carefully so that everyone concerned understood.
"We gots a plan for just this little even'chuality. Whoever it is dat's tryin' to nick yer loot, well... they's gonna get more than dey bargained for, get it?"
 

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