Grimmer's Journal

Posts
69
Location
stalking interviewees
Age
42
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
6'7''
Occupation
Journalist
Alignment
Chaotic Good
Relationship Status
Divorced
The contents of Grimmer's writing journals - articles he has written, whether or not they made it into publication. Also occasionally personal notes.

I will make this post look like a fancy pretty intro post one day just not today
 
Posts
69
Location
stalking interviewees
Age
42
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
6'7''
Occupation
Journalist
Alignment
Chaotic Good
Relationship Status
Divorced
Content Warning

The Philosophy of Despair: Interview With "Subject X"

Date: July 22, Year 110​

To my readers, I preface: the reason for not disclosing Subject X's identity is not for their safety, but in the hopes of avoiding a possible media panic. Those of you who are familiar with Subject X will certainly know, and those who are not may learn through your own independent research, which I encourage. I further encourage that any media outlets who obtain and wish to talk upon this interview be respectful. This tragedy can be discussed without enflaming, politicization, and certainly without free publicity to Subject X.

When coming to Pandora, I - as the inquisitive sort - quickly became embroiled in many of its scandals and subjects of, perhaps, macabre interest. It is in this way that I became aware of what was known as the "Killing Game" and its predecessor. Perhaps it is old news by today's standards, but I thought it wise to bring to light a more personal analysis of Pandora's recent history. And it was through my aims that I was granted an unexpected interview with Subject X, the mastermind behind the deadly games.

Journalism is an oft-dangerous profession, as I found in this particular instance. My interview you see was held captive, much to my surprise. X was unexpectedly cooperative with me despite - or perhaps because of - my intentions (once again: I urge we do NOT offer free publicity to an individual who seeks it). Naturally, I dove as deep as I could be allowed, in these unprecedented circumstances. Below is a transcript from our interview, and the troubling conclusions that I glean from it. Please be warned: this interview contains subject matter that may be uncomfortable to some of my readers. If you are faint at the mention of death or the unwell ramblings of a sociopathic mind, I urge you to proceed with caution.

Wolfgang G: "I'll admit, I'm not quite used to an interview under these sorts of circumstances. There are questions I can ask you of my own accord, or if you're interested in talking, in telling the story on your own terms, then rest assured, you have my ear. If nothing else, I can guarantee a very interesting story for the readers of Pandora."

Subj. X: "Why don't you ask the questions, Wolfy? I want to hear what you're interested, what you don't know. Ask me about my creations from your perspective, and I'll do my very best to craft you an interesting and despairful story. Something that can reach people all around the Box."

Wolfgang G: "Well. In that case, I suppose the first question that comes to mind is why. You're not some sort of political extremist, hoping to enforce a change. But it can't be simple entertainment, either; you said yourself that it takes quite a lot of effort, setting something like this up. You clearly have the means to terrorize, and if it was amusement that you wanted, you could certainly manage that on a smaller scale. But you keep mentioning despair. I'm wondering if that has something to do with it. I'd like to hear it from you"

Subj. X: "There's nothing like it, nothing so wonderful, as the sensation of being plunged into the deepest of despair. Or plunging someone else. How do you think those people felt, as they slowly starved to death? How did their loved ones feel, watching them turn on each other, seeing them waste away? They'll have nightmares for the rest of their days. I exist, Wolfy, to spread the bittersweet gospel of despair."

Wolfgang G: "It seems that for you there's a sort of pleasure involved. Most people - the uninitiated, I suppose - would do anything to avoid falling into despair, but you seem to welcome it the way others might welcome feelings like true love. Would you say that for you, that's what despair is? The ultimate emotion to experience? Is it truly for your pleasure, or is it that in an act of mercy, you're trying to awaken the world to what you believe to be true euphoric bliss?"

Subj. X: "Everything's so boring, you know? People come into this world, they do stuff, they leave. They live, they die, they make meaningless gestures and call them 'making a difference'. It doesn't matter. It's so boring. They're so boring. But despair...Just when you think you've fallen far enough, that you've hit rock-bottom, there's always a deeper layer of despair to hit. You can always fall deeper. It's the only thing that's new, the only thing that changes. Despair will always be there for anyone who gives up hope. It's a reliable constant in an ever-changing, ever-dull world. But it's ever unpredictable. No one knows what forms it'll take, how it'll strike. You talk about true love? Well, Wolfy, I love despair. My own, other people's.... such a wonderful emotion, it's important to me that the people I love feel it too. But... I suppose you could say that everyone else is just... a pawn. Other people's despair is a wonderful thing, but truly? They're just dull."

Wolfgang G: "Indeed, that sounds accurate. Those outside of your circle exist to entertain you. Even me, I think." [laughs] "But that does preclude the idea that you do have others whom you care for. That does create an interesting concept of how you approach such care. I suppose they aren't pawns, but their despair endears you the same as your own. ... Let's turn this on its head a bit. You've given me quite an insight into your motives, and your philosophy. I suspect there's no teaching you to think differently. I have to wonder, then, why a game of killing? Why is that your choice? If you enjoy having marionettes, doesn't it mean that killing them, and breaking them, ends the despair? Certainly those that survive will feel it endlessly, but those who die are released from despair. That seems antithetical to your goal, doesn't it?"

Subj. X: "How do you think people feel, just before they die? Dying for something stupid, for their mistake, dying in the knowledge that they didn't achieve anything? No peace, no heroism, just...oncoming, unavoidable, death. Before their death, that moment, when their life flashes in front of their eyes, and they curse God in the knowledge that they died for nothing... how do you think they feel, Wolfy? Death is the Ultimate Despair. Dying in despair isn't an escape, its the goal."


Let me put this into no uncertain terms: This was an interview held with a criminal who, despite facing justice, was able to orchestrate the capture of a journalist for the purposes of an interview. This is not someone stripped of power but rather an individual that is no longer in the public eye - perhaps the most dangerous type of threat.

Subject X is not the only individual I have spoken to concerning the incident in question. I have had the somber opportunity to hear the stories of those that were directly affected by X's exploits, individuals who, as stated in the interview, have not let go of their scars. However, this interview was not held simply with the interest of understanding a criminal mind; it was held wholly at X's whim, upon X's desire.

It is the opinion of this journalist that the punishment X received was not suitable to match the crime, and that allowed to run unchecked, we may find ourselves facing a repeat in the future. This is a mind that has no intention of stopping. Subject X seeks only to fill the void of unquenchable boredom with the great "entertainment" of the ultimate despair in death. We must be ever-vigilant in the months to come, as isolation within the Wastes is a mere deterrent, not a solution.

Further Reading: Exclusive Scoop with the Exiled (July 07).
OOC Notes: I am booboo the fool and missed the season to post it in news so WHATEVA it goes here
 
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