Private Happy, happy birthday, asshole

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Happy birthday Tartaglia please don't make this weird

Karl Heisenberg

Resident Evil
Posts
329
Location
Dread Wastes
Alias
Hobo Yeehaw Thor
Age
75+
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Mutated Human
Height
6'1
Occupation
Problematic
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
Bad Idea

Heisenberg looked down at the neatly peeled orange before him and moved on to the next one, quirking his brows in bafflement as he easily skinned it just as easily as the first one. He glanced at Tartaglia again, clearly on the verge of asking if this was some sort of bid to make Heisenberg feel better about something... except no. The kid looked semi-embarrassed, so it had to be true.

"We all have special gifts." Heisenberg sing-songed as the stinging stench of vodka started to clog up his nostrils. He absently pawed at his face in abrupt, harsh movements that did nothing to abate the alcoholic burn in the air.

He watched as Tartaglia definitely stumbled closer, making a soft sound of annoyed amusement. Maybe it was normal for people to drink this much - Heisenberg wasn't one who would know - but he couldn't help but find the subtle changes in the kid mildly stress-inducing. He was still Tartaglia, obviously, but he was just different enough to make Heisenberg feel vaguely on edge.

Still, he took the bag of chocolate without a fuss, and didn't really question what the kid told him to do, even though it seemed fucking weird. "If this is a fucking trick..." Heisenberg warned as he tossed some chocolate bits into his mouth, followed by a wedge of orange.

He chewed patiently.

Then he had a religious awakening.

"What the fuck." Heisenberg hastily did it again, and again, and again, until he had burned through two of the three oranges and half the chocolate bits. He smacked his lips and started peeling the last orange with abject enthusiasm. "This is the best thing." He was mostly muttering to himself as opposed to Tartaglia. "The best thing. What the fuck. Why didn't I know about oranges."
 
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Tartaglia

Genshin Impact
Childe
Posts
290
Age
21
Alias
Ajax
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
5'11"
Occupation
Assassin & Debt Collector
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Down To F...ight
Was he mocking him? Probably. Not everyone could fail at the very basic task of peeling an orange. Though Tartaglia considered the admittance a gift, for Heisenberg wasting his evening with him. He knew he'd have a much more productive time back at his warehouse, or probably far away from Tartaglia. And yet here he sat, on his floor. Dealing with cats, and a comfortable setting - which apparently he hated.

And the knife.

Tartaglia quickly shoved allllll the feelings down, down, down - until he forgot they existed at all. Which was pretty easy, considering how quickly he felt himself slipping from sober into drunk land. Unfortunately with drinking, repressing things, really didn't get rid of them. Maybe it was easier to move things out of sight, but it'd be just as easy to shove it painfully down his throat.

"No trick, comrade," he assured him, with probably too much sincerity to his voice - before Heisenberg dug right in.

Tartaglia got comfortable - leaning his back against the couch, as he pressed the glass against his bottom lip, and simply watched fondly. The two flavors paired well together. Confections that put them together, were rather common. Even chocolate itself that was infused with an orange flavor. It wasn't surprising that Heisenberg wasn't familiar with the combination; Tartaglia continuing to feel a similar pull as he did with his siblings. The desire to show them new and incredible things that would open their eyes to a whole world of incredible possibility.

He loved doing that, honestly.

A wide grin spread across Tartaglia's features, as the flavor soaked in. Heisenberg chewing through the chocolate and oranges, while Tartaglia continued to slowly sip his drink. He needed to pace himself at this point, unfortunately.

"Many fruits pair well with chocolate," he pulled his knees to his chest, leaning one arm across the top, "Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, pineapple," he rattled off, "It's common practice to melt chocolate in a fountain type device," he made motions with his hand - including the one that was holding vodka, "Then you dip the pieces of fruit into it, then you eat it," he nodded, "I should acquire one for you, comrade. I feel as though you'd rather enjoy it," his voice just a bit softer.
 
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Karl Heisenberg

Resident Evil
Posts
329
Location
Dread Wastes
Alias
Hobo Yeehaw Thor
Age
75+
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Mutated Human
Height
6'1
Occupation
Problematic
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
Bad Idea
Given that Heisenberg already enjoyed most of the fruit Tartaglia had listed (he thought, anyway, as his brain raced to translate them), this was, indeed, exciting information. He finished peeling the last orange easily, and did the slice-and-chocolate trick again.

If he'd been less distracted, he might have detected the odd tone Tartaglia kept slipping into, but Heisenberg was too enamored by his new discovery to give a shit. He made a happy noise to himself as he finished off the last orange and finally addressed the kid, looking infinitely happier than he had ten minutes ago.

"I would like that." Heisenberg agreed without a second thought. Somehow, while the idea of a birthday was overwhelming to him, he could easily quantify and accept the notion of this... liquid chocolate concept. "You'd have to show me how to use it." Heisenberg added conversationally. "Honestly, kid, it might be easier to just keep it here. The warehouse isn't really built to keep food. I don't even have cold storage yet for cadavers." He polished off the chocolate chips as he chattered.

"Can't we just heat up this chocolate? It melts, right?"
 
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Tartaglia

Genshin Impact
Childe
Posts
290
Age
21
Alias
Ajax
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
5'11"
Occupation
Assassin & Debt Collector
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Down To F...ight
The concept of a chocolate fountain was likely too advantageous, without Heisenberg realizing it. A fondue type device - minus the actual fountain - would work just as well. An easy way to melt things, for dipping. The fountain aspect just made the dipping more fun and a bit easier.

Tartaglia blinked, realizing he was getting a bit lost in his own head. A dangerous thing on a good day, let alone when he had alcohol in his system.

"Whatever you find more preferable, comrade," he caught up to the current conversation, before the idea of melting the current chocolate was suggested. Unfortunately, Tartaglia finished off his glass, before setting it aside on the coffee table. He was planning on slowly going through that glass, but found the bottom rather quickly.

"The device I'm describing keeps the chocolate circulating and heated. Were I to melt this now, it would reharden fairly quickly. However," he pushed himself to his feet, but his legs wouldn't have it. He immediately sat back down - a bit flustered over the sudden action. Shaking his head, he tried again - making it into the kitchen this time.

"I could pour the melted chocolate on things right after I melt it," he suggested, digging through his supplies to see what fruits he had laying around. Which...wasn't much of anything, outside of two more oranges that came in the bag. They were rather handy during the summer - a way to hydrate and feed in one go.

"Would that work for you?" he asked - awkwardly climbing back onto the counter to retrieve the rest of the oranges. The motion far less graceful than it was the first time.
 
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Karl Heisenberg

Resident Evil
Posts
329
Location
Dread Wastes
Alias
Hobo Yeehaw Thor
Age
75+
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Mutated Human
Height
6'1
Occupation
Problematic
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
Bad Idea

Heisenberg absently pressed a hand against Tartaglia's back when the fucking idiot fell back down, just to keep him from going ass-over-teakettle. Then, when the kid managed to stand up, Heisenberg followed him immediately like a looming, slightly-less-evil-than-usual shadow that lurked just out of the way, ready to dodge in and catch Tartaglia when he inevitably set himself up for a concussion.

"Kid, I was happy enough just eating both of it at the same time..." Heisenberg pointed out diplomatically, sidling a little closer with one hand out as Tartaglia started ferreting around in his cupboards. "For fuck's sake, would you be careful?" He added in exasperation.

"Do whatever you want." Heisenberg sighed. "It's your birthday, old-timer."
 
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Tartaglia

Genshin Impact
Childe
Posts
290
Age
21
Alias
Ajax
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
5'11"
Occupation
Assassin & Debt Collector
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Down To F...ight
Everything was starting to become a bit out of focus. Not visually, but mentally. Like the hard lines that built reality and logic, were all starting to run together in some sort of mess in his head. Tartaglia honestly forgot what he was digging around for, until he located the last two oranges - pulling them triumphantly out and setting them on the counter beside him. Heisenberg actually telling him to be careful; which was funny considering the whole 'murdered him' thing. Though, he supposed, it was a bit more even on that playing field. For Tartaglia had murdered him back, once.

"Nyeh," he coherently responded - before fully sitting himself down on the counter - kicking his legs slightly as the world spun just a bit, "A project for another day, then," he regained his composure - silently grateful he didn't have to do anything complicated at the moment. It was quickly becoming apparent that he was further gone than he realized. Standing up did that, of course.

"I want--"

To go home.

He shook his head to clear the thought, clenching his jaw slightly. This was all becoming dangerous territory quickly. Especially with Heisenberg present, he had to be careful. He was literally the only meaningful connection he had in this place, and he couldn't fuck it up because he got weird when drunk. Weird and sad.

Drinking was a mistake.

He reached behind him into one of the other cabinets - retrieving a glass, before filling it from the sink. Tartaglia sipped it, trying to clear some of the fog in his head.

"It is my birthday," he finally circled back to the last thing said, "I will do what I want. Which is sip this water. But I do think you'd enjoy that chocolate fountain, comrade. In theory, you could keep it in the warehouse during the cooler months, when chocolate wouldn't melt from simply existing in that place. Assuming...the Scorch cools down eventually, of course," he forced his composure, and somehow it was working.

Tartaglia continued sitting on the counter - one foot planted against the drawers, the other swinging slightly.
 
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Karl Heisenberg

Resident Evil
Posts
329
Location
Dread Wastes
Alias
Hobo Yeehaw Thor
Age
75+
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Mutated Human
Height
6'1
Occupation
Problematic
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
Bad Idea

Well that didn't take long.

Heisenberg watched with a somewhat shuttered expression as Tartaglia seemed to abruptly clue in to just how drunk he was. He followed him over to the sink and leaned against the counter beside it, unable to contain a sardonic scoff as the kid tried, feebly, to circle back around to the chocolate conversation.

"Do you want me to leave?" Heisenberg suggested calmly, knowing that, for himself, if he was going to have an altered state of mind, he wanted to have it alone. Tartaglia, of course, wasn't cut of the same cloth, and Heisenberg knew that, so he was fully prepared for two different responses:

First, that Tartaglia would want him to leave, and Heisenberg was going to have to circle the block twenty-odd times before the kid went to sleep and he was able to walk home stress-free.

Second, that Tartaglia would take Heisenberg's offer to get the fuck out of there as a valid excuse to start clinging, and there would probably be a really awkward amount of exposition about his family, and Heisenberg wouldn't get anywhere near the goddamn warehouse until the next morning.

It probably said something about how much the stupid kid had fucked him up that Heisenberg somehow preferred the latter option.
 
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Tartaglia

Genshin Impact
Childe
Posts
290
Age
21
Alias
Ajax
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
5'11"
Occupation
Assassin & Debt Collector
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Down To F...ight
Tartaglia wasn't used to people seeing through his bullshit. Over the years, nobody had really gotten close to him on any sort of profound level. There was Zhongli, but that was...surprisingly more lies on the other end, than Tartaglia's. Even so, there was a genuine lack of understanding between them, when it came to Tartaglia. He never hid who and what he was - not even once. But Tartaglia wasn't the sort of person that people ever really understood, or took the time to. He was chaotic to the point of most people just saying he was unhinged and leaving it at that. It wasn't a dramatic nobody gets me, but just an acceptance that he struggled with interpersonal relationships on a profound level.

It was...lonely. Especially after his affectionate childhood. A large and very loving family, that had discarded him when he became too much.

So it was jarring, when Heisenberg pinpointed the fact that things weren't exactly well in his head. His unfocused gaze, sharply locked on the man before him, as he continued to sip his water. The look in his eye somewhere between surprise, and like an animal that had been struck without warning.

"I..."

What did he want?

The oven beeped, scaring the shit out of him. Tartaglia pushed himself off the counter - with a bit of a wobble - locating the oven-mitts out of muscle memory more than anything. He pulled the cake out of the oven, and set it on the stove-top to cool. Grabbing a fork, he stabbed it once - pleased on the fact his timing - as usual - was perfection.

He took a long swig of water - knowing there was a chance that would upset his stomach, but there wasn't any real nausea at the moment, so it'd be fine.

"I will leave that up to you, comrade," he decided, "If you stay, I can't promise how entertaining nor fun I will be. I will not hold it against you, if you choose to get some work done, rather than babysitting me. In truth, I normally drink alone on my birthday, or work through it. I'll be fine on my own. But I also won't tell you to leave."

His voice much slower than his typical cadence - Tartaglia actually forcing himself to sober up slightly to articulate his thoughts in a nearly coherent way.
 
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Karl Heisenberg

Resident Evil
Posts
329
Location
Dread Wastes
Alias
Hobo Yeehaw Thor
Age
75+
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Mutated Human
Height
6'1
Occupation
Problematic
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
Bad Idea

As he'd expected, Tartaglia didn't give him a straight answer, and Heisenberg had to think about what the kid actually wanted. He folded his arms and watched Tartaglia pull the cake out of the oven, noting with some amusement that it looked pretty fucking perfect, despite the current situation.

Off hand, it felt more like the kid was trying to give Heisenberg an out, rather than Heisenberg leaving actually being what Tartaglia wanted.

Fuck that, then.

He hooked an arm around the kid's shoulders and yanked him closer, using his other hand to roughly mess up his stupid, obnoxious hair. "Fuck it. It'd take an hour to walk back to the warehouse anyway, and I'd have to deal with the assholes on the road." Heisenberg released Tartaglia for the most part, besides keeping a hand on his shoulder. "Believe it or not, I'm used to nothing being exciting or fun. So I think I'll survive one ginger brat in a bad mood."

He patted his shoulder one last time then let go, wandering back over to the couch and sitting on the floor next to it. "You don't have to stop drinking on my account. You can't possibly be more obnoxious than usual."
 
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Tartaglia

Genshin Impact
Childe
Posts
290
Age
21
Alias
Ajax
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
5'11"
Occupation
Assassin & Debt Collector
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Down To F...ight
What did Tartaglia actually want as a result of this situation? In truth, he had no idea. There were benefits to Heisenberg staying. For one, it'd keep him from fully folding in on himself. Someone to keep him in check, and force him into the present. However, that would likely have the man see a side of Tartaglia that really only oozed out when he drank. A sad sentimental piece of shit, that was just...what remained of Ajax. A fourteen year old boy, that could never really go home - despite that being all he wanted. However, if he was left alone - he didn't have to worry about letting anything slip. He could relax, even if it would end poorly for him. Probably some sort of messy breakdown, considering how easily his mind seemed to be slipping into that category.

Either way, he felt like a wreck already. A shining beacon of mental instability, as he flinched when Heisenberg hooked an arm around him - yet he didn't pull away. He did, however, whine loudly when he messed with his hair. It took effort to make his hair do that.

Heisenberg staying because he was used to being miserable, was possibly the most confusing and sad thing his drunk mind could handle at the moment. His brows pinched together as he vaguely attempted to wrap his mind around it; Heisenberg finally releasing him and waddling back over to the couch.

He was staying.

Apparently Tartaglia did have expectations, and they all involved being alone.

His gaze fell, as a soft smile spread across his lips - feeling a tug of something deep down.

Shaking his head, he refilled his water glass, before sprawling on the couch, since Heisenberg was on the floor anyway.

"No, no, no, comrade. No more alcohol today," he set the glass of water on the coffee table, before tucking his arms behind his head, "It's less about being obnoxious and more about feeling worse. While I'm rather wasted at the moment, I don't feel sick. If I drink anymore, I'll probably end up puking, and I would actually like the avoid that," he rambled, "If you're curious about literally anything about life, the universe, or me personally - now is the time to ask. I have literally no filter," he laughed - honestly looking for a distraction.
 
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Karl Heisenberg

Resident Evil
Posts
329
Location
Dread Wastes
Alias
Hobo Yeehaw Thor
Age
75+
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Mutated Human
Height
6'1
Occupation
Problematic
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
Bad Idea

There were two paths before Heisenberg: He could ask Tartaglia raw, unpleasant questions that he always wondered about, knowing damn well that it was probably going to send the kid into a goddamn tailspin for his own satisfaction... or, he could pass on the rare opportunity, do his own research privately, and do his best to keep things level and light until Tartaglia passed out.

Heisenberg slung his arm over the seat of the couch, brushing the kid's leg carelessly in the process, and rested his chin on it. "To each their own. The step right after vomiting is a complete black-out. Those seem nice." He scoffed darkly before leaning his chin against his fist, studying Tartaglia for what was undoubtedly longer than polite society would dictate.

"So... do you know balansoar?" Heisenberg held out a hand and wobbled it back and forth, imitating a seesaw without knowing the appropriate word for it - and, apparently, Pandora's janky translation effect was shitting out. Perhaps because Heisenberg didn't speak Romanian so much as he'd pirated a great many words from the language over his life without ever learning the English equivalent.

He stared at Tartaglia and repeated his seesaw gesture. "You know what I mean? They're a toy, apparently. I think they're a myth, because if you had one fat kid and one skinny kid, that skinny bastard's going to end up with a cracked skull, right? How is that safe? The Potato is never getting a balansoar, even if they're real."
 
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Tartaglia

Genshin Impact
Childe
Posts
290
Age
21
Alias
Ajax
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
5'11"
Occupation
Assassin & Debt Collector
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Down To F...ight
Tartaglia felt himself relaxing into the couch - briefly closing his eyes as he reached that perfect point of being drunk. Where his problems were a distant echo, the couch was perfectly comfortable, and the room wasn't quite spinning. He knew there was a short-cut to this feeling. Being high was an easier way to achieve it; however he never really liked to mess with those sorts of things. Alcohol actually tasted good, and was a heavy part of his culture. Smoking something wasn't unheard of in Tartaglia's life. There were spurts where it was a more constant aspect to his habits, but he always fell out of it. With the stronger plants, he hated how everything literally slowed down. His perception of time broken to the point where a few seconds felt like an hour. His mind was empty, but he was aware of physically dodging the darker thoughts. Alcohol just blurred everything, equally. The feeling could be much worse, but he always felt more in control of it.

He huffed out an almost content sigh - as half-lidded eyes fell onto Heisenberg as he brushed his leg.

"Really? I've puked without blacking out, and blacked out before puking. But I'm actually feeling pretty good at the moment," he knew it'd be brief, but hopefully he could get some longevity out of it. He just wouldn't drink any more vodka, and wouldn't move unless absolutely necessary.

"Balansoar?" he repeated the word - feeling it out in his mouth. Pandora didn't seem to be translating it and he didn't recognize it...which was impressive with the handful of languages he found himself fluent. Though Heisenberg had mentioned Romanian before; Tartaglia not aware of a Teyvat equivalent off the top of his head.

"Oh, I think the word is seesaw," he puzzled it together after a moment, "If the children are close in size, it's actually quite fun. And if you happen to be the heavier of the two, you basically just control the up and down movement yourself, while the lighter one is along for the ride. It's quite easy to keep your feet planted, if you're tall enough," he nodded, "Most playgrounds in Pandopolis and Ark City tend to have soft things around it - so if children fall off, they're safe. At least from what I saw."
 
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Karl Heisenberg

Resident Evil
Posts
329
Location
Dread Wastes
Alias
Hobo Yeehaw Thor
Age
75+
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Mutated Human
Height
6'1
Occupation
Problematic
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
Bad Idea

"Huh." Heisenberg made a face before giving a lazy shrug. "Well, you have more experience than I do. I've only had alcohol a few times in my life and it usually involved black outs and vomit in equal amounts." He admitted blandly.

Heisenberg mouthed the word seesaw experimentally, furrowing his brow as the kid elaborated on how it was definitely not a myth, and the littler kid just had to really hope the bigger one wasn't a fucking psychopath... which, he supposed, was probably not a problem for normal children. "I don't care. The Potato isn't getting on one." Heisenberg said gruffly. "What if she handed on the balansoar and broke her back." He shook his head angrily. "She would heal, maybe, but still. Breaking your back hurts, kid. A lot."

He shook his head again and stared up at the ceiling, adjusting his hat slightly as he did. "The world is dangerous, eh? Fuck."
 
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Tartaglia

Genshin Impact
Childe
Posts
290
Age
21
Alias
Ajax
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
5'11"
Occupation
Assassin & Debt Collector
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Down To F...ight
"I probably have too much experience with alcohol," he admitted - eyes on the ceiling, before he idly reached to the back of the couch, and pulled his narwhal blanket onto him. He wasn't even cold. Instead, he basically just balled it up, and hugged it against his chest and under his chin.

Tartaglia smiled to himself, as Heisenberg was protective over Potato again. He really did care about that little one. Between Heisenberg and that Winters, Tartaglia had little doubt she would be the safest child in Pandora. And likely one of the more loved children, too. Instead of being discarded for being off, she was being kept safe from those who wished her harm, because of her extra abilities.

It could have hurt - and yes, it absolutely did. But it just...made him happy for her, in an unsurprisingly unselfish way. She had...a good life ahead of her, and people who were surprisingly on her side, no matter what. Tartaglia was honestly one of those people. He didn't know her very well, but if her actual father or Heisenberg (or both) changed their minds on their stance on her, he'd absolutely keep her safe in their stead.

"Magical healing does wonders in my world, so I surprisingly know that feeling," he admitted, with a soft sigh, "You really care about her, don't you?" his voice soft, with a smile on his lips; feeling a pang of jealousy, but also just...grateful she had the family she did.
 
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Karl Heisenberg

Resident Evil
Posts
329
Location
Dread Wastes
Alias
Hobo Yeehaw Thor
Age
75+
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Mutated Human
Height
6'1
Occupation
Problematic
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
Bad Idea

Heisenberg watched Tartaglia bundle up his stupid blanket and hug it, and it was difficult to quantify his feelings as he observed the strange process. It just... plucked at something that he wasn't really ready to identify - that he was probably never going to be ready to identify, and Heisenberg scooted a bit along the floor so he was closer to Tartaglia's head as opposed to his feet. He huffed and pulled off his hat before it could smack the kid in the face as soon as he leaned back.

With no glasses and no hat, Heisenberg would usually feel damn near naked, but it was just Tartaglia, so he figured it didn't make any real difference.

He gave a surprised laugh when the kid asked about Rose and shook his head immediately. "She's a way out of a shitty situation, kid, and she's not a part of me floating around in her. She's got a bit of an unfair advantage." Heisenberg admitted calmly. "I don't plan on being in her life forever. As soon as Miranda's handled, I'm going to avoid Winters. It's probably for the best, since he wants a 'normal life'." Heisenberg stared at the front door with a momentarily unhappy expression, then twitched his gaze back to Tartaglia and cuffed him lightly on the nose.

"You, on the other hand, are stuck with me."
 
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Tartaglia

Genshin Impact
Childe
Posts
290
Age
21
Alias
Ajax
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
5'11"
Occupation
Assassin & Debt Collector
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Down To F...ight
The pleasant feeling was drifting about as quickly as he thought it would. The blanket pressed against his chest somewhat helped, but he still felt like he was starting to slip into the exact territory he was trying to avoid. But he watched Heisenberg anyway, as he shifted closer; silently noticing the lack of both hat and glasses. Tartaglia's foggy memory trying to figure out if he'd seen him without either before. His gloves had been off earlier too - but they were out of sight at the moment...and he couldn't remember if he had put them back on again.

His brows pinched together, as Heisenberg casually mentioned abandoning Potato the second Miranda was handled. That...didn't sit well with Tartaglia, before his foggy mind slipped back to what Heisenberg had been saying only moments before. He hadn't wanted her to be in pain, even if it wouldn't cause permanent damage. Though...feelings were transferred between the two. Perhaps it was selfish, but Tartaglia felt like there was more to it, than that.

"By the time everything is said and done, your presence will probably be a part of what's normal," he noted, still hating the idea of Heisenberg leaving them.

But then his nose was cuffed - causing him to pull the blanket over it, whine, and glare over.

"You, on the other hand, are stuck with me."

His eyes widened from glaring, and the world went immediately out of focus.

Heisenberg knew who and what he was. Tartaglia had even killed him once; which they were both very aware was an accident. It showed his ruthless, bloodthirsty, and generally unstable side. Heisenberg wasn't much better. He had killed Tartaglia twice upon their meeting.

Tartaglia quickly looked away - pushing himself over the back of the couch in possibly the least elegant move he had done in his entire life.

"What a horrible fate to wish upon yourself, comrade," he tried to play it off as a joke, despite his composure being essentially shattered, "I will be back in a moment - gotta piss."

He scampered off and closed the bathroom door, a few stray tears sliding down his face the moment he was alone. Fuck, he needed to get his shit together. But...he really did need to piss. He just drank a decent amount of alcohol, and that flowed right through the body.

After relieving himself, he took time to throw water on his face - trying to sober himself up, and shake that extremely vulnerable feeling that came from hearing the one thing he was desperately hoping to hear. The horrible thing was that...Pandora was an illusion. Technically tomorrow he or Heisenberg could disappear, or have their memories wiped. None of this was tangible; real.

Tartaglia splashed water on his face a few more times, before just putting his head under the faucet, and gorging himself on water.

He glanced up in the mirror - as a few random strands of his ginger hair, dripped in his face. He shoved his hair back, before drying his face and walking out of the bathroom. Tartaglia headed straight for the kitchen - hovering his hand over the spice cake to check its heat, before retrieving the frosting from the fridge.

"I imagine you'd like some, once I finish frosting this, comrade?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder as he began the process, with a smile, "Also the option for whatever questions, remains for the remainder of the night. You're taking the time to be around me, therefore deserve knowledge."
 
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Karl Heisenberg

Resident Evil
Posts
329
Location
Dread Wastes
Alias
Hobo Yeehaw Thor
Age
75+
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Mutated Human
Height
6'1
Occupation
Problematic
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
Bad Idea

Well that went...

Kind of horribly?

Heisenberg's brow furrowed as the kid ran off, and his lips curled into a deep frown. Theoretically - well, obviously, really - Tartaglia was just pissed the fuck off that he was going to be stuck with Heisenberg until he shuffled off his mortal coil... which was probably a pretty fair response. Rose, at least, was probably at least slightly obligated to enjoy his existence because of the Cadou link between them, and Ethan had to deal with him because he dealt with the Potato.

Tartaglia was just some kid Heisenberg had murdered twice and now decided to nag all the time.

Heisenberg knew he was a piece of shit as far as humanity went. He was arrogant, and pretentious, and annoying - God, he was definitely just as annoying as Moreau in his own fucking way, even if he was never going to admit it. He lost his temper over nothing at least five times a day, and he didn't even know how to enjoy himself.

He studied Tartaglia as he reentered the kitchen, and Heisenberg didn't move from his spot on the floor. "Okay..." He ignored the frosting offer, because his attention had been hooked already by the kid's weird behavior. "Kid, you know I'm kidding, right? Say the word, and I'll show myself out." Heisenberg pointed out gingerly, trying so fucking hard not to let his mood plummet and his anger roil in his chest. He breathed in deeply instead and felt... kind of fine with things.

"I'm probably a pain in your ass. That's my specialty." Heisenberg joked, unable to keep his tone from being slightly bitter. "Anyway, you can tell me to get fucking lost and I promise I'm not going to kill you or something. I get it." People didn't stay in other people's lives forever, after all. That was the guiding rule of Heisenberg's existence - unless it came to the people he wished would just get the fuck out of his life.
 
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Tartaglia

Genshin Impact
Childe
Posts
290
Age
21
Alias
Ajax
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
5'11"
Occupation
Assassin & Debt Collector
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Down To F...ight
Tartaglia could be very good at people, when he chose to be. Manipulation was a beautiful art; one that he had honed into a fine tip over the years. His typical bounce brought people to him, naturally. Charisma was easily one of his stronger attributes, so he never struggled when he tried. The issue was more for...when he didn't. When he drank and random shit fell out of his mouth, he was immediately out of control of the situation. So, he hadn't exactly thought it through when he left the room. All he knew in that exact moment, was that he had to remove himself from the situation, before Heisenberg witnessed something Tartaglia really didn't want him to. So he isolated himself, and fixed it.

His mind was clearer than it was before, but still a far cry from actually sober. He was already holding the frosting and stirring it to soften it up, when Heisenberg announced that he was...kidding?

Tartaglia turned towards him, genuine surprise pulling at his features - trying to force any hurt from his expression. Of course it was a joke. Why wouldn't it be a joke? Why would he--

But Heisenberg continued, and he very quickly - even while not exactly sober - realized...he was not actually joking. Tartaglia abandoning the room with a self-deprecating remark, had apparently left a trail of evidence towards the exact opposite of what he was feeling.

"Well, Heisenberg," he turned away from him, and began pulled the cake from the pan - knowing he'd do better admitting what he was about to admit, while not looking directly about Heisenberg, "No, I don't want you to leave, or get lost, or ignore me. In fact, I very much enjoyed your previous words. I'm not someone people stick around with, comrade," he continued to elegantly frost the cake as he spoke, just allowing the words to roll out without any rea filter, "I've already told you that the family I speak so highly of, couldn't handle me after...things. My father sent me to the Fatui, because I was causing too much trouble. Despite how I speak of that group of people, they're...not highly regarded to many. My three baby siblings don't know about any of it. The youngest thinks I'm a toymaker, and I almost killed myself in a very literal sense, to keep that how he saw me," he laughed under his breath, and shook his head, "So...safe to say comrade...it would make me very happy if you stuck around."

He sliced the cake, before grabbing a fork, and finally turning back to Heisenberg - walking over to hand off the piece, "Because I'm going to follow you around whether you like it or not."
 

Karl Heisenberg

Resident Evil
Posts
329
Location
Dread Wastes
Alias
Hobo Yeehaw Thor
Age
75+
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Mutated Human
Height
6'1
Occupation
Problematic
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
Bad Idea

Usually, Heisenberg wasn't the type to misunderstand a situation this badly, and he was mostly in awe of himself as Tartaglia spoke, laying out what the fuck had actually happened. In essence, it was the polar opposite of what he had all but accused the kid of, and Heisenberg couldn't help a feeling of dull disbelief tinged with embarrassment.

He shook his head once, still mind-boggled by just how off his perception had been. There was some deluded part of Heisenberg that considered talking about his own shitty life just to make the kid feel a little better in comparison, but... that probably wouldn't work the way he wanted anyway. Heisenberg having a shit existence wasn't going to abruptly turn Tartaglia's life into a bundle of roses. It would just make both of them miserable and, in Heisenberg's case, hyper-aggressive.

Heisenberg accepted the cake from Tartaglia and stared down at it thoughtfully. He took a bite, and it was as good as he had expected.

"We need to find you some better friends or something, kid." Heisenberg suddenly laughed around his second mouthful of cake. Not that he was being down on himself any more than was logical... and maybe he had a skewed perception of Tartaglia, because Heisenberg didn't think the kid was that bad. A bit violent, maybe, but it was manageable...

For him.

He paused in eating the cake, wondering if therein laid the problem.

Was he, without meaning to be, just one of the exceptional few who could handle Tartaglia?

"You said I could ask whatever I wanted, kid..." Heisenberg mused, addressing him with a thoughtful expression. "How often do you kill people without meaning to? Let's pretend you made a friend or something... if they weren't stronger than you, would they be as good as dead?"
 
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Reactions: Tartaglia

Tartaglia

Genshin Impact
Childe
Posts
290
Age
21
Alias
Ajax
Pronouns
He/Him
Species
Human
Height
5'11"
Occupation
Assassin & Debt Collector
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Down To F...ight
Tartaglia laughed quietly under his breath and shook his head, as Heisenberg casually mentioned friends. He chose to not comment on it, feeling emotionally burnt out at the moment. Instead, he just walked back to the cake, and sliced himself a piece, before depositing himself back on the couch. Instead of laying down, he kicked his feet onto the coffee table - taking another long swig of the water, in effort to sober himself up further.

He was much more sober than he was only a short while ago, but he wouldn't exactly be his typical hyper-analytical self and come up with tactics to fell governments. Slipping a piece of cake into his mouth, he briefly closed his eyes - finding himself start to relax again.

Then Heisenberg asked that question.

He remained still - eyes opening a fraction as they focused on nothing in particular. Instead of answering immediately, he took another bite.

"The event that caused my father to kick out little Ajax, was that I almost killed someone in town. A bully who pushed buttons he shouldn't have. It took three people to restrain me, as a fourteen year old. And I know I would have killed him if I wasn't stopped," he ate another bite, an unsettling amount of bounce in his voice, "I've killed Fatui I didn't hate. But if they weren't strong enough to handle me, then they would have died anyway," a simple shrug on his shoulders, "I...don't really associate with those who can't hold their own in a fight. One of my better...I feel as though they would shudder if I called them friend. I once helped them achieve what they needed in Liyue. We almost got along, and I genuinely did like them. But then they got in the way, so I had to kill them. Or...try to," he laughed a very tired laugh, "The Traveler was surprisingly strong, and managed to beat me. I've been fond of them ever since, even if they'd rather set me on fire. They actually got to babysit my youngest brother, briefly," a memory they didn't remember the last time they spoke.

Tartaglia paused, wondering if he had answered the question in that mess of story, or if he had not.

He sipped more water.
 

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