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Max Reed

The Guyver
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Uhhh... Hey, One-One. Is it Glad or Sad I'm talking to? I figure you sound more like Glad-One.

Yeah, I'm still working on my profile. It's hard to find the right words, plus I seem to look like a freaking axe murderer in all of my pictures.

That's a pretty broad question. Is there something you want to know in particular?
 
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One-One

Infinity Train
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Ooh, good instincts on you, Mr. Max!


It is Glad-One!


Sounds like you need a new camera. As for the profile, you can't go wrong with 'Hello, it's me, Max Reed! I'm a smart man and I like to eat ramen! My hair is soft and I am great at running'!


I'm honestly just curious about you and I'd like to get to know you more <3


If you want something more specific though, what do you think of raviolis? Are they sandwiches?


My dad and I have been arguing about it, I think raviolis are a sandwich.
 
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Max Reed

The Guyver
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Yeeeaaah... The ladies are really gonna find ramen and running sexy. Still, it's a better description than I could write.

Sandwiches, seriously? It's a freaking pasta dish.

Hey, talking of food, you reminded me of something I always wondered about. Do you and Scaramouche "eat" anything? Like electricity or gas or oil?
 
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One-One

Infinity Train
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Why not? Ramen is delicious and running is a vigorous exercise activity! Humans like that, right?


Eh, potato tomato! Raviolis, calzones, all sandwiches!


Hm! You know, I've never seen Daddy consume any electricity, or gas, or oil! Seen him eat a ton of hot dogs though. And ramen! He likes food.


he better with all those teeth hes got


And I like to eat goodies too! Nom nom nom~! :)
 
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Max Reed

The Guyver
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All right, a calzone kinda is like a sandwich, but raviolis... That isn’t bread! That's pasta! Jeez, I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this junk.

But you two (you three) don’t have human organs, right? How can you eat human food? What happens to it when it’s inside your bodies?







On second thoughts, maybe I don’t want to know the answer to that question.
 
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One-One

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It is pretty mind blowing, eh Mr. Max? I can't believe we're talking about it either! So deep....


No human organs, but daddy has a canister in his tummy that can hold a few liters of material and food stuffs! When it gets full he takes it out and dumps it!


As for me, Mr. Max you're so silly! :D The food doesn't go inside of me! That'd be weird!
 
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Max Reed

The Guyver
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You know what. My social life’s pretty non-existent. This really is the closest to a deep, meaningful conversation I’ve had since high school. Well, actually, make that kindergarten. I think the last one must’ve been about how they get the holes in Swiss cheese.

Seriously? Gee, I hope he’s not the guy I’ve been trying to catch. This farmer hired me to find out who’s been dumping garbage on his farm. Most of it’s food waste.

How the heck can you eat then? And how can you even taste?

I got another question I’ve been dying to ask. Who made you?
 

Scaramouche

Samurai Jack
The Assassin with the Sassin'
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anywhere the wind blows
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Yo, daddy 'bot here. I resent that comment, you overgrown bug!!


With a mustache!


I dunno what your angle is, Reed, baby, but you better tell ol' Farmer Brown to mind his carrots and potatoes, 'cause I most definitely ain't the droid he's lookin' for.


'Sides, Mama 'Mouche said to never waste food! I incinerate it for when juice doesn't cut the mustard.


Anywho, I'm handin' my phone back to One-One before he whines up a storm. You two play nice~! And no funny business, capisce? Remember: daddy's watchin'.
 

One-One

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Goodness, Mr. Max! Sounds to me that you need yourself more friends! Although now that you mention it...


How do they get the holes into swiss cheese?!


Tee-hee! Sorry 'bout that interruption from daddy. <3 I just shove food into my face, Mr. Max! And then I imagine what it probably tastes like!


Who made me? Good question!


*about five minutes of pondering and typing/re-typing later*

I'unno.
 
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Max Reed

The Guyver
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Heh. I agree with you on that point, Glad-One. I do need more freaking friends, but that’s never gonna happen with my work schedule. And before you tell me to cut back or take a break, I can’t without losing out on my income. I need every cent I got to afford my meds, so I don’t mutate back into, as your “dad” put it, an “overgrown bug with a mustache”.

Y’know, some of that garbage smelt of smoke…



* Almost gives up on waiting and goes back to work. *

Oh, c’mon! You must know! You must’ve been made with a purpose in mind!

I kind of thought you’d been built by Scaramouche since you call him dad. Why is that, anyhow?
 
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One-One

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Aaaw... That's a shame to hear, Mr. Max! But don't worry! I can be your friend instead! <3


Though, what's so bad about turning into a bug?


I honestly don't know! There's--


There are a lot of things I...


Do not know.


As for daddy, it's simple;


We met in this strange place. He took me under his wing, he takes care of me, gives me toys, gives me affection. He looks out for me and comforts me, even tries his best to protect me! He loves me as if I were his own!


In the end, isn't that exactly what a good father does for their child?
 
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Max Reed

The Guyver
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Aww, gee, Glad-One. You really know how to comfort a guy.

Y'know, I don’t know what’s more depressing. The fact that even a walking talking metal soccer ball can’t think of any perks to being a bug, or the fact that’s the only friends invite I’ve had in years.

Huh. Scaramouche sounds like a pretty decent guy. He's sure more attentive than my dad. Jeez, he always had his nose buried in some book or other, breaking his back over a work case.

I always remember my graduation at law school. My dad spent the whole ceremony with a freaking laptop on his knees. They weren’t that common in those days, so this was a big chunky thing that got hot real quick. He was wearing thick pants, but it still left him with second-degree burns.

Some of them got infected and he died a couple weeks afterwards.

I can’t help thinking that if I’d flunked out of law school, he would’ve still been alive today…
 
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One-One

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Ah, yes. That's what I was talking about! Nothing else! Definitely not! Preposterous idea, really!


Though, now that you mention it... Good things about being a bug;


The ability to fly! Lots more limbs, that's exciting! Cool mandibles that go click click click! Antennae, because who needs a nose?!


I'm very sorry about your dad, however. :(


its not your fault it sounds like the man was working himself into an early grave anyway


if anything it was just bad timing


At least he got to see you graduate! And even if he wasn't able to say it, I bet he was proud to see you...do graduation stuff! Catching the bouquet, punching a kangaroo, holding up the belt, throwing it into the screaming crowd...
 
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Max Reed

The Guyver
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I can’t fly. I sprout the extra legs, but not the wings, which sucks. I’d love to freaking fly! It’d sure improve a crappy situation!

It’s all right. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my dad’s death. I only lie awake thinking about it a couple times a week now.

Punch a kangaroo? Jeez, I guess you’ve never been to a high school graduation… Unless they do that kinda thing in Australia. Heh, y’know, that actually wouldn’t surprise me…

While we’re on the subject, you come from a country, One-One? I mean before Pandora. Were you some clever toy from Taiwan or China? Or a chunk of alien tech chilling out in a spaceship?

Remind me to tell you my experiences with alien tech one day. It’s connected to how I got this faulty alien bug DNA, too.
 
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One-One

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Awww that's a shame, no wings! But hey! With those extra hands, you'd be a stellar juggler!


Oh uh, well... Couple times a week, that's...


thats pretty sad and thats coming from me


But that's okay! Now that I'm your friend, I can help you feel better!


Right you are, Mr. Max! No high school graduations for me! Actually, before coming to Pandora, the only thing I had experienced was... being stuck in a place full of snow. I imagine high school graduations are much more festive and fun!


Country? Eh, er...


*only two minutes of pondering and retyping this time*

I'unno.


I was on a train, not a spaceship! And definitely not in space! I think the place outside of the train was... red? And... dusty? Yeah that sounds about right.


I'd enjoy hearing about your experiences with alien tech, though! And not just because I like hearing things!
 
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Max Reed

The Guyver
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...I don't have hands. The extra legs come without hands attached to 'em. Well, actually, the front set have these little claw things. They're sorta useful.

Y'know what would really make me feel better? A million dollars in hard cash. Think you could get me that kind of money, friend?

Red and dusty? Sounds like you passed through a desert. Gee, you sure got around a lot. Do you prefer being hot or cold?

… Aww, crap. I've got that stupid sugary pop song stuck in my head now.

I'll tell you about my experiences with the alien tech face to face one day. This kinda platform won't do my story any justice.
 

One-One

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No hands?!


Now that's just silly. At least you have those clawsies, cause otherwise you're worse than all thumbs! Cause you'd be no thumbs!


A million dollars?! I, uh... Well... Would you accept... A million Millie bucks? It'll take me a while, but I can get it for you, I'm sure!


What would you buy, Mr. Max? Perhaps a cozy hammock, or a trampoline?


I think I prefer hot! I've been cold for far too long, I'd rather experience something novel and fun!


Ooh, I'll hold you to it Mr. Max! I look forward to hearing about it someday! <3
 
Last edited:
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Max Reed

The Guyver
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It’s all right, One-One. You don’t have to get me any money. I was just being sarcastic.

Though I’m not so much interested in buying anything as taking a long, long, LONG break from work. Well, okay, I’d love a car like I had back home. Hey, I have a picture of her right here.



What d’you think? She’s beautiful, huh? I called her Erica. She was the closest thing I had to a friend… A wife, daughter, aunt

You ever thought about being made into something else? I can’t imagine being a little ball with stubby legs is much fun. You could have yourself built into a car like Erica… Or what about a tank? Impressive!
 
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One-One

Infinity Train
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Oh! Haha, that's good, because it would take a long time to get that many Millie bucks...


I think everyone could use a lovely vacation!


too bad capitalism forces people to work themselves to death


What a fancy car! I think Erica is very beautiful! :)


Oh, me? Turn into something else? What a novel idea! It never struck me before, but maybe I could turn into a motor car... Vroom vroom!
 
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