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Private That'll Teach You To Steal From A Lady!

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The Mistress

Doctor Who
Posts
14
Location
Here. There. Why, Everywhere.
Alias
Missy
Gender
Genderfluid
Pronouns
She / Her
Species
Time Lady
Height
5'4"
Occupation
Queen of Evil
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Don't be disgusting.
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July 1st, Year 110
Medith’s Run, The Scorch
Participants: @Duke L'Orange


The boiling hot, boring desert seemed to go on for miles and miles. Missy felt agitated, not only by the heat but by the sheer monotony of the landscape. What uninspired gods had designed this planet? She felt just about ready to drop down into the sand, counting all of the murders she had done in her lifetimes before finally dozing off. But that would take far too long, and Missy wasn’t even the slightest bit tired. What she was lacking wasn’t sleep, but answers, and entertainment of course. She couldn’t bear to go too long without that.

Fortunately for her, the latter was just around the corner, or underneath the sand, so to speak. There was a loud rumbling noise and the earth shook beneath her feet. Missy stepped back several times, a smirk making its way onto her face. Oh, whatever this was going to be would be sure to knock her socks right off!

The massive, wormlike creature burst out of the ground, knocking Missy backward. “Whoo!” she exclaimed, letting out a sigh of pleasure afterwards. “You really know how to liven things up, don’t ye?” It was just too bad that the enjoyment had to end so soon, at the moment she lost grip of her sonic umbrella. Up it went, and then down it came, just in time to be swallowed by another emerging sandworm.

The desert was full of them now.

“Oh, no, no, no!” Missy chided, making a ‘tsk tsk’ sound. “Maybe the thought hadn’t occurred to you, but that isn’t yours to take!” Now what in Rassilon’s name was she going to do without her sonic umbrella? The answer came to her pretty quickly. Good thing she had backup technology. Missy pulled the all-purpose laser device out of her pocket and aimed it at the thieving sandworm. “Guess I may as well...take it back now, shall I?”

With the press of a button, the laser was fired, but the wormlike monster was a millisecond too fast. It tunneled back into the sand, taking the umbrella it had swallowed whole along with it. The laser very narrowly missed an odd looking fellow with webbed feet who seemed to have just arrived on the scene. Missy put her hands on her hips and looked down to the spot in which the worm had escaped. “Hmph! How dare you go nicking a lady’s things!” She then glanced back up to the duck man and spoke impatiently.
“Well, what’re you staring at? Lend me a hand, or...or a wing if you will!”

The ground rumbled again as the very same sandworm prepared to re-emerge...

 
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Duke L'Orange

Mighty Ducks
Posts
65
Age
37
Gender
Male
Pronouns
He/him
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Humanoid duck
Alignment
Chaotic Good
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Duke sat beside a short pillar of stacked stones, its small shadow provided very little relief from the blazing sun but it was better than nothing. He was looking at the communicator strapped to his wrist. Flicking the cover open and closed, open and closed. So far he managed to communicate with a few residents of Pandora but still no signs of his fellow ducks. Open, closed, open closed.

His hand went still when a rumble ran through the ground. A sign he was all too familiar with at this point. Something got the sandworms attention, glancing around he caught sight of the dust clouds rising beyond a nearby sand dune. Could be an unsuspecting traveler. Pandora seemed to like dropping new arrivals in the middle of this place.

So Duke pushed himself up from his small patch of shade. Carefully creeping up the sand dune to get a better look at what was going on. He reached the top just in time to dodge some sort of laser beam. "Hey! Watch it!" If it wasn't for his quick reflexes he'd probably be missing another eye right about now.

A growl of irritation rumbled from his chipped beak as he glared at the one responsible, not caring much for her tone or the fact that she shot at him. "Ya' know most people say please!" Came a curt response before the ground beneath his boots began to shake again. "Just stand back 'n let a pro handle this alright."

The sandworm breached the surface, rising upward. Duke couldn't help but let out a whistle. "Man that's a big one. Well bigger they are, harder they fall right?" He may have been showing off a bit when he jumped from the top of the sand dune and onto the creature. Running up its back and doing a flip over its head.

"Ducks rock!" A flash of light and his golden saber appeared piercing into the creatures belly, slicing it open as he descended down to the ground. The creature let out a strange high pitched shriek before falling to the side sending up a large puff of dust as it hit the sand.

Duke gripped his saber with both hands ready to take on the next sandworm to breach the surface. "You run, I'll hold 'em off!"

 
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The Mistress

Doctor Who
Posts
14
Location
Here. There. Why, Everywhere.
Alias
Missy
Gender
Genderfluid
Pronouns
She / Her
Species
Time Lady
Height
5'4"
Occupation
Queen of Evil
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Don't be disgusting.
Profile
link
Organizer
link
Directory
link

Well, this would be fun, wouldn't it? Blasting sandworms with an odd little duck man. Too bad the beaked boy had a bit of an attitude on him. Missy cocked her head to the side and offered him a bit of a forced, coquettish smile. “Oh, fine then! Pretty please with some sugar on top. Is that enough politeness for you, dear?” This one was going to be fun to toy with, indeed! But her priorities were set and on the top of that list was getting her precious umbrella back.

As if it had heard her thoughts, the worm had burst out from the sand again. And another, and another. The desert was teeming with the little buggers, but the duck man showed no signs of fear. After a silly quip from him, he’d pulled off a stunt no average duck could have dreamed of doing. A high jump and a backflip! Witnessing such a performance had gotten Missy excited, so very excited that she felt the need to join in. Twirling around in circles, she fired several laser beams from her all-purpose device. Blam, blam, blam, blam, blam! Each beam hit a sandworm square in the middle, instantly reducing them to large piles of ashes. There were only two remaining, but her feathery friend was already on to the one that mattered most.

The duck man had uttered what could only be a silly catchphrase, which summoned some sort of a blade into his hand-wings. While he was occupied with slicing and dicing the thieving worm, Missy pranced up from behind the other one. It had just dug into the sand and was jumping back out, giving her a grand opportunity she wouldn’t dare miss.

“Oi, show-off!” she taunted her partner in crime just as the worm popped its head out of the sand. “Think ye can top this?” She jumped onto the sandworm’s head and began to tap-dance on it as the rest of its body surfaced. “Yee doggie!” Her accent had turned from Glaswegian to that of a Southern American drawl at that point, but it promptly switched back when she hollered out again. “Now, who said a word about running? Running’s for milksops!”

The sandworm she rode prepared to drill back into the ground, but Missy wasn’t up for following it into the depths of the sand. She slid down its back as if she was grinding a rail, and landed with a flourish right before her freed sonic umbrella. Snatching it up from the sand by the handle, she swung the umbrella over her shoulder, then twirled around to fire one last beam at the sandworm she’d just ridden. Once it was vaporized she turned back to her new friend, the duck. “Quite the mess you made, duckling.” She said mockingly, stepping closer to him while idly twirled the closed umbrella she held over her shoulder.
“And ye might want to work on that catchphrase.”

 
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Duke L'Orange

Mighty Ducks
Posts
65
Age
37
Gender
Male
Pronouns
He/him
Species
Humanoid duck
Alignment
Chaotic Good
Profile
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Organizer
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mgs6Gg8.jpg



"Okaaay..." Duke couldn't help but stare in bewilderment. Here he was, all ready to do the valiant hero routine and hold off the monsters so a lady could escape. But instead of running she was dancing. On top of a sandworm. "What the hell's a milksop?" His bewilderment only grew.

Now spending the last couple years living with a certain hyperactive teen by the name of Nosedive, Duke had witnessed his fair share of strange antics. Like the time Nosedive slipped some food coloring into his older brothers shower gel, resulting in Wildwings normally white feathers being turned a rather vivid shade of blue. But man, this lady took the cake.

He was so distracted by the odd display he almost missed the sandworm emerging from the sand beside him. Luckily he caught it in the corner of his eye just in time and managed to roll out of the way before its tooth filled maw could grab his arm. "Hey! No fair sneekin' up on a guy like that." A swing of the blade took care of the matter, the sharp edge easily slicing the creature in two.

"Lady, this drake ain't been a duckling for thirty years." A bit irritated at the slight insult to his teams motto one hand settled on his hip while he puffed up his chest, his Brooklyn style accent growing thicker. "I'm a duck and I rock, case closed. Sides you should thank me for gettin' your thing back." He gave a nod to the twirling umbrella. "Lotta good it'll do. Place ain't exactly known for rain, case you didn't notice."



 
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The Mistress

Doctor Who
Posts
14
Location
Here. There. Why, Everywhere.
Alias
Missy
Gender
Genderfluid
Pronouns
She / Her
Species
Time Lady
Height
5'4"
Occupation
Queen of Evil
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Don't be disgusting.
Profile
link
Organizer
link
Directory
link

“Milksop,” Missy repeated, making a popping sound with her lips as she reached the end of the word. She snickered at the sound she’d made, then went on to elaborate. “Baby. Weakling. Coward.” The last word was spoken in a singsong voice. She figured she’d gotten her point across, but in the teensiest case she hadn’t, she kept on chatting. “And I think you’ll find I’m none of those, dear. Why, you’re far more likely to wet those trousers of yours than I.” Birds were smelly animals after all, even more so than humans if it was possible.

She planted a hand over her chest and let out an exaggerated gasp as the next sandworm emerged from below and right beside her new friend. “Hah! This one’s hungry for duck wings, innit?!” she taunted, leaping backwards and landing elegantly on her feet. She pointed her all-purpose device at the massive creature, but as it turned out, Duck Wings’s reflexes were a wee bit more on the dot.

Missy whooped and cackled as the blade sliced the legless critter in two, then fired two beams of light out from her weapon, one for each half of the dead worm. The lasers vaporized both halves just before they impacted with the ground, leaving two rather large piles of dull grey dust in the otherwise beige colored sand.

Missy stepped up to one of the piles and kicked up a flurry of dust, stopping only when Bird Boy revealed his age. “Oh, look at you! You’re all grown up!” Missy cooed at Beak Brain as if she was talking to a small child, giving the center of the dust pile a final stomp before lending her full attention to him. “Really, though. Ducks rock?” She scoffed. “I know plenty of children who can think up far better than that. Human children. And it’s Mistress, if you would please. Missy for short.”

Missy dug the tip of her sonic umbrella into the sand and propped herself up against it. “Now, I’m not going to thank you until you give me answers. Actual, useful answers. Not the kind you might pull off the top of your feathery little head in a futile attempt to keep me satisfied.” Bird Brain had mentioned that it hardly rained on whatever planet they stood on, so that was a start, at least.
“So, this planet. Surely it has a name or...something your ilk would refer to it by. You wouldn’t happen to know it, dear? Do help a Time Lady out.”

 
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Duke L'Orange

Mighty Ducks
Posts
65
Age
37
Gender
Male
Pronouns
He/him
Species
Humanoid duck
Alignment
Chaotic Good
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B1SZSaj.jpg


Normally Duke would be all for helping a new arrival. Share whatever intel he had about this place so far. It was the right thing to do really. Everyone was in the same boat here. Pulled from their places of origin against their will, dropped into this strange place with no way out and no way to reach those they left behind.

But he was feeling less and less inclined to help this Mistress, as she introduce herself. She was pushing his buttons and not in a good way. Insinuating that he was some kind of pants wetting, infantile coward.

Him, Duke L'Orange! Once Puckworlds most notorious jewel thief and feared leader of The Brotherhood Of The Blade. A coward? Yeah right. Then she had to top it off by bashing the Mighty Ducks team motto. An irritated growl rumbled from his beak. Of all the ungrateful...

"Duke L'Orange and I'm a Mighty Duck. Got that. Not a duckling, not a milksop. Mighty Duck." When another sandworm emerged to the right Duke didn't even bother to turn his head. Keeping his eyes on Missy he simply lifted his arm and aimed it at the creature, firing the small grappling hook that was strapped to his wrist. The projectile struck the sandworm with a hard thud and sent it scurrying back down into the sand.

A flick of the wrist and the line rewound itself before his hand settled back onto his hip. Eyes set in an angry glare he leaned in closer until his chipped beak was mere inches from her nose. "Sorry Miss. I don't feel like sharing."

 
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The Mistress

Doctor Who
Posts
14
Location
Here. There. Why, Everywhere.
Alias
Missy
Gender
Genderfluid
Pronouns
She / Her
Species
Time Lady
Height
5'4"
Occupation
Queen of Evil
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Don't be disgusting.
Profile
link
Organizer
link
Directory
link

Out of all the types of people she could have run into first, this one was a real goldmine of entertainment. A duck with a sword and a heroic costume, who had the silliest catchphrase and yet called himself mighty. Missy would have to thank the universe for introducing them to each other - or whoever was in charge of this worm-ridden desert. But that would have to wait until later, much later, because right now she had far more important tasks at hand. Finding out what the worm-ridden desert was called, for one, and how she’d ended up there so suddenly despite having been stuck on a plane that was bound to crash elsewhere.

“You’d make a mighty duck à l'orange,” Missy teased in a slight French accent as she collapsed her umbrella back into its compact form, “is that what you’re trying to tell me?” She stuffed the umbrella into her skirt’s pocket and began to fiddle with the buttons on her laser device while humming innocently. Surely she had a setting for it to roast the target but not incinerate. All it would take was finding the correct sequence of button pressing.

She was so busy with the device that when the next sandworm emerged, she didn’t bother to look up. Even Duke firing the grappling hook out at it wasn’t enough to get her interested. What did, however, was when she felt the hot breath of the duck on her face. Missy looked up from the buttons and coughed politely. “Whoo! You really do have the smelliest breath. Like a dead, old fish that’s been left out to rot on a hot, sunny day.”

She stayed put despite the stink and gazed calmly into his angry eyes, smirking in amusement at his underwhelming answer. So this one hadn’t learned that sharing is caring! How terribly immature. “Oh but you will, given time,” she said sweetly, turning her attention once more to the all-purpose device. As it turned out, the algorithm for roasting had been the press of a button away from being set.

Once that was finished, she planted a boot on Duke’s chest. “Oh! It’s come to my attention that the time is just about...now!” As if right on cue, she attempted to push him into the dirt with her foot, then flipped the handheld device around in her hand so it was aiming directly at his middle. “You see, withholding information from me is just the same as being useless. But do not fret, Duke L’Orange! You aren’t beyond hope, my dear. You can either tell me where I am, or I can turn you into the biggest, baddest roast these little sandwormies ever did see. Two options, both useful.”

She positioned her finger so it was hovering right over the FIRE button on the trusty device.


“So...say something nice.

 
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Duke L'Orange

Mighty Ducks
Posts
65
Age
37
Gender
Male
Pronouns
He/him
Species
Humanoid duck
Alignment
Chaotic Good
Profile
link
Organizer
link
B1SZSaj.jpg



Duke's good eye widened in surprise as he was momentarily stunned by the crude breath remark. By duck standards he considered himself to be quite handsome, taking great pride in his appearance and personal grooming. With his smoky grey complexion and unrivaled feathered crest, the eyepatch and chipped beak adding an air of dark mystery. Plenty of lady ducks (and some non-ducks) have swooned over the dashing Duke L'Orange.

The angry glare returned along with the sound of his upper and lower beak grinding together.
"Well the woman I was with last night had no complaints!" He was practically seething now, if not for the feathers one would probably see an anger induced vein throbbing on his forehead.

A glance down at the foot now pressed to his chest then back to her face. "You wouldn't dare." He growled out. But she did dare and Duke felt himself pushed back with more force than he was expecting. Landing on the desert floor with a grunt, the saber fell from his grasp and settled on the ground nearby. "Ooh lady, ya really startin' to piss me off." Duke pushed himself up onto his elbows but paused when he saw the weapon aimed at him. He saw the way it vaporized those sandworms and really did not want to end up like that.

A quick glance to the sword laying nearby, then to her weapon. An inner voice began to plead. Don't be a smartass, don't be a smartass, just answer her questions, you're gonna get yourself fried. Muscles tensed, his body getting ready to spring into action. He decided to ignore that pleading inner voice, the side of his beak pulling up in a defiant smirk.

"Somethin' nice."

 
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The Mistress

Doctor Who
Posts
14
Location
Here. There. Why, Everywhere.
Alias
Missy
Gender
Genderfluid
Pronouns
She / Her
Species
Time Lady
Height
5'4"
Occupation
Queen of Evil
Alignment
Chaotic Evil
Relationship Status
Don't be disgusting.
Profile
link
Organizer
link
Directory
link

Missy’s brows shot up as her beaked friend had revealed he’d been with a woman the night before. “Ohh!” she gasped in faux adoration, rolling her eyes just slightly and placing a hand over her chest as if to show how surprised she was that this one could ever find a lady duck who’d see anything in him. “You naughty bird! So that’s where the chip in your beak’s from, eh?” She bent down to his level to playfully tap the part of his beak that had been accidentally nibbled off by his lover during a rough make-out session, or so she’d assumed. “You lot and your rowdy lovemaking! Animals have such a one-track mind.”

She wasn’t interested in bantering aimlessly with the feathered fool though so she stopped at that. There were much more important things to learn about than a duck man’s love life, primarily having to do with just where in Rassilon’s name she was. And, despite losing his saber and his dignity by being thrust onto the dirt, Duke L’Orange seemed to be very keen on not telling her. Missy wasn’t one to give up, though. Someone like her had all the time in the world and more to get him to talk. Sometimes all it took was a bit of creativity.

Missy’s attention shifted to the fallen sword, and she contemplated for a moment if it was worth picking up to be used as an additional threat. Deciding it was too primitive for her taste, she gave it a swift kick with a boot and pushed it further away from Duke’s reach. He was already sniveling about her getting under his skin, so she felt she might as well have given him another reason to feel bothered.

And another.

"Look at you, all whiny!" Missy’s voice became high pitched and mocking as she faked a Brooklyn accent not dissimilar to his. “Oh, boo-hoo! My feathers’re being ruffled! What ever shall I do?” She folded her arms and flapped her elbows as if she was doing the chicken dance. Only his cheeky remark was able to bring the performance to a full stop. He was a real smart-aleck, wasn’t he? Enough to drain the last drop of her patience.

Without giving even the slightest bit of a warning, she stopped with the fake wing-flapping and fired a laser at him from her all-purpose device. The beam missed very narrowly, hitting the sand just above his head. “Well, you can answer my questions, for a start.”

This time, she sounded serious.


“Now, where were we? Ah, yes. What’s the name of this planet? Be sure not to lie, because if I get the slightest inkling you’re not telling the truth then I’m going to shoot you again and I will not miss.”

 
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