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Private The Sponsor: a Nice Cold Glass of Arnold Palmer

Alastor

Hazbin Hotel
Posts
27
Age
Looks 30
Gender
Male
Species
Demon
Occupation
The Radio Demon
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
*high pitched radio sounds*
Profile
link
August 18-Year 109
@Palmer

”Welcome Sinners to another delightful Devils Hour! I’m your host, the Radio Demon, here to cast us adrift into the world of hellish delights, right into a brick wall of our own painful folly.” Alastor crooned, radio host voice in rare form tonight as the radio audience cheered, face stuck in it’s permanent grin. ”Tonight, we have another exclusive guest. A young man with a terrifying and dark secret. A literal devil on his shoulder, you might say. Minx the Fox yokai here to talk about the best way to clean up all those human bones laying around your liar. And a discussion about the latest political scandal. I haven’t seen this kind of juicy action since Wilson murdered his lady of the night, I’ll tell yah folks!” There was scattered laughter and applause.

”But first, a word from our sponsor.” Alastor leaned backward and let out an ear-piercing scream. The audience screamed and cried and laughed and…. ”Wow, what a deal! Take advantage of that this weekend. Bring the whole family.”

”And now folks, the moment you’ve all been biting your claws over. Say hello to….” Alastor drew a pentagram into the sky, watching it glow red, then deposit his guest on the plush red couch. The room they were in was surrounded by mirrors that were distorted. There was no door. The only real source of light was a flashing ‘on air’ sign that illuminated them in red. Which only casted Alastor in a harsh light. Making his eternal yellow grin full of sharp teeth look even more eeire than it would be in broad daylight.

”Ah here he is! Arnold, ladies and gentlemen!” The audience applauded, but there was no one there. It was as if the audience came from within Alastor himself. ”So nice of you to join us and talk about that thing deep within you, that aches to be set free and maul everyone within a ten foot radius. Ah I remember those days.” Alastor said, holding a clawed gloved hand to his chest. ”What I wouldn’t give to be a few decades younger, am I right folks?” There was laughter, and more applause. ”So tell us: how do you keep such interesting urges contained. What’s the secret? Yoga? Meditation? Intricate rituals of the arcane?”
 
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Palmer

The Thing
Posts
140
Age
39/~0
Gender
Male-ish
Species
Thing
Occupation
Mechanic, Last Chance Fixers
Profile
link
Organizer
link
Directory
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Palmer has no idea how he got here, but that's honestly pretty normal for Pandora. No, the bigger issue is the idiot sitting across from him and asking him questions. Palmer does not appreciate questions, and certainly not these questions. "My name isn't--oh nevermind." Better than if he used Palmer's real name.

It's definitely not a human talking to him, which is a plus. It's talking to him in a radio booth, which is a huge minus. "I really have no idea what you're talking about, man. The answer is usually weed, though?" There, in character and just slightly sarcastic. If he can just keep that up maybe he can get through this. Fuck, he hopes he can; he wasn't exactly planning to eat anybody today.
 
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Alastor

Hazbin Hotel
Posts
27
Age
Looks 30
Gender
Male
Species
Demon
Occupation
The Radio Demon
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
*high pitched radio sounds*
Profile
link
Alastor continued to smile, even as Palmer insisted that wasn’t his name. Of course it was not, but Alastor knew when to break out the fake names and when to let them stick. Some people deserved a little anonymity. Those people usually had far more difficult inner monsters than those greedy types of billionaires who kept cheating on their lady.

He let out a small laugh as the other said his secret was weed. ”Ah cannabis! Devil’s cabbage. My Great Aunt Sally had an excellent recipe for cannabis brownies! Almost murdered her ex-husband with them…. Though that could have been the traces of cyinide, haha!” He laughed, the unseen audience laughing along with him.

”So tell us: in a comparison contest. Would your inner demons rather consume the mortal flesh of a say…. Twenty something year old, or an eighty something?” He gestured with a clawed hand, ”That is to say, which would your certain thing rather deal with?”
 
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Palmer

The Thing
Posts
140
Age
39/~0
Gender
Male-ish
Species
Thing
Occupation
Mechanic, Last Chance Fixers
Profile
link
Organizer
link
Directory
link
Character Development
link
He can’t help smiling a little at the dark joke. Hey, he’s got a sense of humor! A pretty good one, if he does say so himself.

The question makes him annoyed again, though. His eyes flick to lightless and back. Good thing this is a radio show, perceptive enough people might notice otherwise. He’s also starting to really hate the word ‘thing.’ So for now his only response will be to sigh and roll his eyes at the demon. For the record, he totally likes younger ones better. Not as many foreign memories to sort out.
 
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Alastor

Hazbin Hotel
Posts
27
Age
Looks 30
Gender
Male
Species
Demon
Occupation
The Radio Demon
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
*high pitched radio sounds*
Profile
link
Oooh Alastor did hate it when a guest didn’t respond to a question. Luckily for him, he could twist any situation to his good side, if he needed to. Even a surly sort of eyeroll and refusal to ask the question well…. Listeners didn’t know what they were viewing, did they?

”OH he’s a shy one, ladies and gentlemen. But I do believe that little mutter was option number one!” There was laughter and applause as if the audience was trying to assure Palmer there was nothing to be afraid of. ”No reason to be so meek about it, lad! Everybody has their preferences. I personally have no preference. All souls are just as delicious no matter the age, ho-ho.”

He dusted off the top of his hair. ”I mean, don’t I just look delicious?” He wiggled his eyebrows, ”And I’m older than the hills!”

The audience laughed delightedly at Alastor’s expense even as he leaned back in his chair, ”So tell us, you’re a mechanic here on Pandora, correct?”
 
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Palmer

The Thing
Posts
140
Age
39/~0
Gender
Male-ish
Species
Thing
Occupation
Mechanic, Last Chance Fixers
Profile
link
Organizer
link
Directory
link
Character Development
link
He would complain about being called 'lad,' but to be fair he's technically all of two months old. In any case he has no idea how old the creature in front of him is. 'Older than the hills' is not very specific.

Well, that one Palmer can answer at least. "Yes." And because no one can see him, he'll just smile. Smile and lick his lips. He never actually specified which question he was answering, after all. The demon is something new, and his instincts always get more insistent when he's faced with something new.
 
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Alastor

Hazbin Hotel
Posts
27
Age
Looks 30
Gender
Male
Species
Demon
Occupation
The Radio Demon
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
*high pitched radio sounds*
Profile
link
”Sorry yes to what exactly, my dear fellow?” Alastor asked, smiling calmly as the other licked his lips. ”That I look good enough to eat, or that you are a mechanic? Come now my boy, the listeners are dying to know!” The audience whooped a bit at that, and Alastor smiled innocently.

Alastor of course knew exactly what he was doing. Getting under the skin of a loathsome sinner? What other delightful form of entertainment could there be?!

”Next question!” Alastor declared, flipping notecards that just appeared that were, if someone looked closely, completely blank except for a few strange eldritch symbols. ”So how are you able to contain your inner Thing so delightfully during your job? Especially in the face of a difficult and particularly scrumptious looking customer?”
 
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Palmer

The Thing
Posts
140
Age
39/~0
Gender
Male-ish
Species
Thing
Occupation
Mechanic, Last Chance Fixers
Profile
link
Organizer
link
Directory
link
Character Development
link
"Which one do you think?" An answer that's far different from what it sounds like to anyone not in the room.

"I'm still not sure what you're talking about, but I did mention the weed didn't I?" He taps his fingers on the arm of the couch impatiently, willing them not to become claws. Oh to Hell with it. "Speaking of, mind if I smoke?"

He lights up before actually waiting for the answer, because if he doesn't do something to calm himself this won't end well for anybody and pot is a good way to calm down quickly.
 
Last edited:
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Alastor

Hazbin Hotel
Posts
27
Age
Looks 30
Gender
Male
Species
Demon
Occupation
The Radio Demon
Alignment
Neutral Evil
Relationship Status
*high pitched radio sounds*
Profile
link
Alastor let out a peal of laughter as the other sniped back a ‘which do you think’. The laughter turned from the light and merry laugh of a radio announcer to the deep, dark, echoy, demonic. The shadows on the walls flickered, like moving people just beyond the mirrors. Just as quickly as it started, it disappeared.

”Ain’t he a riot, sinners?” The audience laughed along with a bit of applause. ”You did, my dear lad, and by all means!” He flicked his finger, a light appearing on the tip of his thumb, even as Palmer took out his own lighter. Waiting until he successfully lit up before the flame disappeared.

”Then lets hit the juicer topics, shall we?” He asked, leaning back, since Palmer decided to be difficult. ”The Thing, deep inside your soul. Can you speak with them? Or are you just the thing’s puppet?”
 
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Palmer

The Thing
Posts
140
Age
39/~0
Gender
Male-ish
Species
Thing
Occupation
Mechanic, Last Chance Fixers
Profile
link
Organizer
link
Directory
link
Character Development
link
“I’m nobody’s puppet.” It’s a lot more complicated than that, after all. He can examine one aspect of him through another aspect, yes, but it all manages to be him. For all that he verges on a split personality he isn’t quite there. Depersonalization is a fascinating thing. “Now are you gonna explain what Thing you’re talking about, or should I pick something out of a hat? My choice would be aliens, for what it’s worth. Government knows all about ’em, right?” There, have the harmlessly paranoid kook aspect of his persona.
 
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Status Updates

Justin McCay VERSUS Luke Skywalker:
Pinder, schminder. People should just stick with archery contests, and base all future dates on the results.
All of ya deserve love. Don't forget that. Even the skeleton fella who yells at cats and then laughs to himself
WHAT!? YOU NAMED THE AMPHITHEATER AFTER ATHENA!? But she's not even an artist! She's a boring stick in the mud! What do you do there? Watch old women weave all day? This is egregious! Egregious I tell you!
Hello mortals! It was a beautiful day today wasn't it? I know. I know. No need to thank me. But you're welcome anyways. ;)

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